First Setback and Apology

[Carrie A]

I stuck my foot in my mouth and now I got mine. I experienced a setback. Basically I hadn't detangled well enough (barely at all over the past two weeks). I conditioner washed, finger combed, and threw my hair in a ponytail so I had a lot of shed hair. (I didn't used castor oil faithfully)I planned to wash and take progress shots for the APL challenge.

This morning I was doing a length check on the lock of hair that I photograph. IT WAS STRAIGHT MATTED. I picked up another piece. MATTED. Now I'm freaking out. Turns out quite a few locks are matted. I was panicking trying to detangle this morning. The more a pulled the tighter the knots got. Those things tightened like a vice and locked down like a pit bull. I did what I could before work but I had to cut some small pieces. I didn't cut too much but I did learn a lesson. I have to thoroughly detangle at least once a week maybe more often now.


So why the apology? Well in the past I've been a little judgmental about setbacks that occur after being a member for a while. Also I've judged what I thought was unnecessary cutting after a setback. While I still think folks cut too much after setbacks, I do see how they can wreak havoc on your growth goals.

So here's a big hug from me to you if you had a setback

 

[LunadeMiel]

Oh wow, sorry to hear that
Thanks for the reminder though I've been wearing braid outs for the past two week and have only combed my hair twice. I need to keep in mind that I must detangle.

 

[mariofmagdal]

Good you were able to get your situation under control. Here's to happy healthy hair as you continue on your journey!

 

[wannabelong]

Awww, I'm sorry you had a set back. I'm sure you'll bounce back from it quickly.

 

[Your Cheeziness]

I'm sorry about your setback. But I'm so impressed on how big you are admit your previous judgments on others. Way to be grown up.

 

[flowinlocks]

I'm so sorry to hear about your setback, I hope you didn't have to cut too much.

 

[Everything Zen]

It's just a reminder to all of us in various aspects of life that we all go through things and to not be so hard on ourselves and each other. Thank you for sharing! I know you'll get through this setback stronger than ever.

 

[beans4reezy]

Well in the past I've been a little judgmental about setbacks that occur after being a member for a while. Also I've judged what I thought was unnecessary cutting after a setback.

Your humility is appreciated! At times, we dont understand something until we have the experience- but you are mighty big in spirit to apologize. You will get over this set back! HHG!

 

[Demi27]

I'm sorry about your setback. But I'm so impressed on how big you are admit your previous judgments on others. Way to be grown up.

What she said.

 

[msa]

Aww I'm sorry to hear about your setback but thank you for reminding me to detangle. Anyway, I'm sure you'll recover in no time.

 

[ShantWhite]

Carrie,

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your setback because I just experienced one myself in March and this recovery process is grueling .

Second, I don't think most would have known of your "judgements" unless you mentioned it, as you have, since there is so much being posted and read here...However, it would only take 1 person (especially a newbie) to remember your previous posts and label you the hypocrite that makes them not want to engage in conversations or ask questions on this site for fear of being judged .

So your humbling revelation is most appreciated!!

 

[*Muffin*]

Thank you so much for being brave and letting people know about your setbacks. That shows that you truly care about us and our journeys. Just deep condition your hair with a conditioner that gives you lots of slip. Use whatever you've got to to get that matting loose!

 

[HERicane10]

Very mature of you to admit your faults.

 

[Duff]

great post. sorry for your setback and I'm sure you'll recover quickly. I've learned that I have to detangle often to make my hair happy.

 

[brownbeauty196]

You are so right, anyone can have a setback even if you been on the board for while. Anyway I hope you can detangle without losing too much hair.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Anyone can have a setback.....

It is all good.

 

[Reecie]

You are such a sweetie!! I'm glad you have empathy regarding setbacks. You're hair will grow back (and then some) in no time!!

 

[exoticmommie]

Thanks for sharing the tips, and thanks for your humility.

 

[sheba1]

I'm so sorry. Have you been able to detangle the rest of your hair just yet? Have you seen Bronzebombshell's review on Paul Mitchell's The Detangler? She said it really helped her with her daughter's waistlength hair after not detangling for a couple of weeks. Here's the thread, just in case you haven't seen it. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=378434

Good luck to you

 

[Carrie A]

I'm so sorry. Have you been able to detangle the rest of your hair just yet? Have you seen Bronzebombshell's review on Paul Mitchell's The Detangler? She said it really helped her with her daughter's waistlength hair after not detangling for a couple of weeks. Here's the thread, just in case you haven't seen it. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=378434

Good luck to you

Thanks. Yes I saw that a little while ago. I just got home so I need to decompress before tackling this job. I'm going to soak my hair in Knot Today and see how that goes.

Thanks everyone for your kind words!

 

[Nayeli]

Sorry to hear. Yup, I learned my detangling lesson after my last relaxer. There was hair everywhere. You'll bounce back in no time.

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

Sorry to hear about your setback and thank you for sharing what sounds like a painful experience. I know you will be able to fix it and all will be well in no time.

 

[rsmith]

Sorry to hear about your setback. You will overcome it.

 

[new2law]

Yeah, I realized this past Friday the same thing about detangling. I lost a lot of hair trying to fix the mess there was breakage, breakage and more breakage the more I tried to detangle. I was pretty disappointed because I felt I was setting myself back but,it finally convinced me to buy some detangler, which I was out of, and start detangling twice a week as I have 3 textures of hair. Good luck with your hair journey.

 

[DozenRoses99]

Sorry this happened to you. Thanks for sharing. This information will help a lot of people.

 

[RadiantBeauty]

I am sorry to hear this happened to you. That was real brave of you to admit your faults. Thank you for setting a good example.

 

[vkb247]

Sorry to hear that. I used to think that my hair just didn't have detangling issues but I realized how big a role detangling 1-2x week and wearing my hair up all the time in between in keeping my hair clear until I didn't do thise things.

I have been trying to teach my 9 year old neice about dooing her own hair and after we went swimming last week I realized that she had allowed some dreads to start forming at her nape - I think it was from sleeping with her hair out and uncovered. She has very fine 4b natural hair and thankfully I was able to clear most of it out with my fingers then I put conditioner in it and was able to clear it out easily with my denman.

I think that when you haven't detangled bery curly hair in a long time than some of the tips that work after removing a weave apply: Try to detangle as much as poossible before wetting the hair ot putting in conditioner because that can make it worse and remember to detangle from the bottom up or you will make a tight not at your ends and likely cause breakage.

 

[Carrie A]

Sorry to hear that. I used to think that my hair just didn't have detangling issues but I realized how big a role detangling 1-2x week and wearing my hair up all the time in between in keeping my hair clear until I didn't do thise things.
.

That's a good point. I've been completely natural going on 9 months (I know it seems a short time ) and I thought I knew my hair well. But what I actually knew was my hair when following a specific regimen. Now that it's getting longer my hair is reacting differently. I tend to tuck and forget or wash and go and have been slacking on the TLC. What worked 6 months ago may not work now. I guess there is always something to learn at every step of this hair journey.