Yesterday I Saw A 5 Year Old With Relaxer Burns And Baldness

[rosalindb]

I saw the poor little girl yesterday, she was wearing a hat and was walking in front with her parents. A friend of the mother came up to them and the mother took off her daughter’s hat to show her hair to her friend. I literally just stopped dead in my tracks. The girl had bald patches all over her head.

The mother went into a shop with her daughter and I followed her in and asked her if the damage had been caused by relaxers and she said yes. She then took off the daughter’s hat so I had a chance to have a close look and I just wanted to cry. She has lost about 40 to 50% of her hair. When she touched her daughter’s head, the child jerked away in pain. The mother confirmed she was 5 years old. I asked the mother if she thought it would grow back and she said she thought it would and did not seem concerned at all and was just laughing as she was telling me. I just had to walk away because of her attitude.

I’m not sure if it will grow back as her scalp was burned so badly that it was red raw and covered in large scabs. It looks like someone had poured acid on her head. Everyone knows the risks of relaxers and I see women all the time with thinning hair/and or bald spots but all the time I see alot of African children obviously under the age of two with their hair broken off from relaxers and was curious to know how the parents would feel if the child was burned during the process so to see the mother so uncaring left me feeling so sad.

I am of Barbadian parentage and it is really rare to see West Indian parents relaxing young girls hair as they normally wait until their daughters are about 13/14 years old at least. I do not have any children but if I did I would not relax their hair, that would be a decision they made once they turned 18 as I would be devastated if this happened to them so I am stunned that the mother did not seem at all bothered.

Edited to add: She said that she took her daughter to the hairdressers to have her hair relaxed so it was done by a supposed professional

 

[Finewine]

That is so sad!

 

[msa]

That is so sad. And, if a teacher or a doctor sees that they may report her for child abuse. That poor baby.

 

[infojunkie]

I didn't even see it and I'm devastated for that poor baby. Talk about a negligent mom, to be able to laugh at your baby's pain is just... I have no words.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

It makes me sick!

I saw a 12 year old girl with burns all on her hair line. It looked like someone had poured acid across her face. It was horrible. I asked her what happened to her hair and she said 'My mommy told me I needed a super and wouldn't rinse it when I said it burned. I just covered my mouth. I was so disgusted. never mind that her hair was already damaged. It just makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, atleast she coulda "based" her scalp!

 

[LuyshuZ]

Absolutely terrible.

 

[Finewine]

That is so sad. And, if a teacher or a doctor sees that they may report her for child abuse. That poor baby.

someone needs to report her!

Who laughs at their own child when he/she is in pain??!!! It's sickening

 

[Platinum]

Wow. My heart is literally breaking as I picture that poor lady girl. I really hope she can recover from this. I know it has to be devastating for her. Sounds like the mother needs her @$$ kicked, 1. For burning that child with a relaxer 2. For being so "non-chalant" about it.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

That is terrible
So many of these moms relax these children's hair WAY too early simply because they're too lazy to take the time to do the child's hair properly, and these poor babies are suffering for their laze.

 

[lilmsjanet]

ohhhhhhhhh my god thats ridiculous that little girl must be in so much pain ewwwww...thank GOD i found this site cause that right there is some tomfoolery

 

[discodumpling]

Terrible but the mothers ignorance is not surprising. EVERYONE DOES NOT know the risks of a relaxer. Or else some of us would not feel so comfortable putting chems on our childrens heads when their scalps haven't even fully developed.

When you know better you do better...

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Hopefully someone will report her. The child is in pain and the sores may get infected. She could have at least took her to the doctor.

 

[BostonMaria]

That's so sad
Somebody obviously left the relaxer in her hair way too long. My heart broke for this poor child. I bet it was one of those kiddie perms. People that don't know how to relax hair shouldn't be doing them. And no 5 year old child needs a relaxer.

 

[lilsparkle825]

That poor baby...what are they gonna do, just let her walk around with the hat on??? I fear this will be happening to my baby cousin soon; she just turned three and her mom is starting to complain about how her hair is not as easy to comb as her younger sister's. Her auntie gave her (boy) cousin a relaxer at 4 or 5, so it's not even like anyone except for me would protest it.

Someone's gonna report that lady.

 

[Poranges]

That is just not in any way or under any circumstance the least bit acceptable, I think giving relaxers to children under 12 should be outlawed. The chemicals clearly had to had touch the poor baby's scalp, and God knows how else it could affect her, and she laughs at the child's pain...I'm a grown woman and I still cringe at the slightest relaxer burn, those things are no joke which is why necessary precautions should be taken. Hope someone reports her ASAP.

 

[CAPlush]

She probably slapped some PCJ on the girl's hair (which is one of the strongest relaxers they make) with no scalp base, and totally ignored the time guidelines. The mother is probably minimizing the issue because she knows it's her fault and no one else. I really do help when the girl goes to school some one calls CPS or insists she goes to the nurse's office. This is really inappropriate and I really don't care if the mother is just ignorant. The instructions are printed clearly on the package and if she can't read then she needs to have some one read it to her, and I'm sure her daughter was screaming about the burns, and it was probably not neutralized properly either.

 

[rosalindb]

Terrible but the mothers ignorance is not surprising. EVERYONE DOES NOT know the risks of a relaxer. Or else some of us would not feel so comfortable putting chems on our childrens heads when their scalps haven't even fully developed.

When you know better you do better...

I take on board what you say. It is just that everyday I see women with bald patches and non existent hairlines so I just assumed that people would be aware of the risks.

 

[BrownEyez22]

That is sad, the mother's attitude is horrible.

My sis-in-law was a nurse at a Burn Institute (pre-Ike), and she told me stories of a few little girls that came in with horrible burns.

But when its that bad, the hospital/CPS whateverucallthem do not play. They are ready, willing and waiting to lock up any those parents/guradians with the quickness.

They would call her down and ask her opinion and if she ever heard of this "relaxer." She would then explain what a "relaxer/perm" was, because they were not buying it.

 

[jaszymeen]

some people dont need to have any access to relaxer until they pass a written knowledge/mental test because store bought relaxers are making it too easy for idiots to get a hold of chemicals that can be dangerous if used the wrong way

 

[Kerryann]

Okay reading this got me so flipping pissed her mother needs a swift box in her freaking face because what the hell is she doing perming a 5 yrs old child hair. She so flipping stupid thats child abuse. If i ever take god out of my thoughts and perm my daughters hair please can someone slap the peefunk out of my stupid a$$

 

[Jazzmommy]

This just makes you sick to your stomach. The mother's attitude is appauling. Also, I can't imagine the teasing she will be subjected too ... you know how kids can be. My daughter is 6 and one of the little girls in her class evidently has a perm with severe breakage. My daughter noticed her breakage and told me that the girls hair is "coming out."

 

[DDTexlaxed]

She probably tried to do it herself and screwed it up! I feel bad for the little girl. Maybe now, mama will learn how to care for her hair.

 

[Jazzmommy]

double post...

 

[JinaRicci]

that's so sad... I'm surprised that the mother would not be making the professional pay for doing that to her little girl... and what kind of professional does that? And some ppl say we're crazy & hair-obsessed, that it's just hair... this... is why we need this site.

 

[mscocoface]

I soooooooooo wish this would be the last time I would read about something like this, but I know it won't be which makes this even more devestating.

It is like a silent epidemic that is being caused needlessly.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Wow....this is crazy....I can't stand parents who think they have to relaxed their children's hair....I'm relaxed, my child is natural and will be natural until SHE decides what she wants for her hair.....so that will be around her teens....and I mean mid teens like 16 until whenever....a child shouldn't have to suffer with something like that, I mean it's a child, a relaxer won't do crap for her, it will only make it easy for her mother to do her hair......man I hate mothers that do this.....and now if this child is in preschool or day care she will be picked on and probably have a self esteem issue because of something stupid her mother did.....man what the hell society.....I'm really mad at this.....

 

[taz007]

I am just going to pray for that beautiful little girl AND her mother. That is all.

 

[beans4reezy]

That is absoutely mind boggling and disgusting. Was the need to have the girl's hair straigtened so great that you would to relax the child's hair at 5? My goodness, her childhood went down the drain along with the clumps of hair that perm took out!! I WISH I were that child's teacher, I would have reported the parents to child protective services- early.

 

[Mortons]

I really think relaxers should have an age limit legally.

 

[Xerxes]

Hmm, this is a very sensitive issue, but I'll dive right in and play devil's advocate.

Firstly, the mom in this situation was wrong for not caring about her child's pain. She showed herself to be less than a true mom by laughing at the situaiton she forced unto her child and for that she deserves some sort of punishment, but since this happened overseas, that most likely won't happen. (From OP's location, I am doubting this happened in the US)

However, was the mother wrong for relaxing her 5 year old's hair? I don't think so at all. She and the stylist just did not do the chemical treatment properly and for that alone should they both be villified.

I'll admit that my mom relaxed my hair when I was 5. She bought a regular kit and slapped it on my head after following the directions. My mother simply could not style my hair without me pulling away from her due to the pain she incurred by combing my natural 4b/z hair. My hair was never long or too thick, but just long enough to require lots of work to style into anything. She tried everything she knew how to do and finally gave into the relaxer. And luckily for me, as it was for several of my peers with 4b/z hair who got relaxed as little kids, the relaxer worked well. With the help of a relaxer, my mom finally could style my hair in just minutes, I was no longer running away from her and the comb. I no longer had to sit still for a hot comb treatment and I kept it up until adulthood.

It was only as an adult that I experienced hair breakage and went natural, just to end up relaxing again and having healthier hair as a relaxed individual than when I was natural. As a natural, just like my mom did years ago, I fought with my hair to no avail. Seriously, alot of you guys don't speak on the reality of the difficulty of styling true 4b/z hair that has no curl definition or coil to speak of, but is just dense, gets matted easily, and looks uncombed although it has been combed, picked and brushed.

The moms who relax their kids' hair are not all lazy or bad, but women who find a chemical remedy to an age old issue. There's a large segment of blacks with hair that we don't showcase in too many threads. There's a reason why there's the term "bad hair" no matter how much you want to discount it. Some hair requires more dedication than many of us are willing to give to style it and this is the primary reason why blacks in general are less likely to have long hair. Our hair overwhelmingly requires way more effort than most are willing to give.

So it interests me that so many young women on these boards are quick to say how reluctant they are to imagine relaxing a kid's head. However, I can honestly say that I have few qualms with the idea. If you look at the kid's hair board, for the most part you just see pics of kids with hair types 1-3, but it's that 4z group that truly needs help. I would probably try to wait until my child is 6 before I use a chemical on their hair, but for the most part, I will do my best to braid my future child's hair and if all else fails and combing proves too painful, I'll have to consider a kid-strength texturizer or some other straightening alternative.