Parents Said That "I Can't Get A Job If I Big Chop"

[RavenMaven]

I was in the car on my way home from dance practice, and I was discussing with my parents how I planned on BCing in June after I am done with my micros, and they said that I would look nice, but I would have a hard time getting hired because employers would see my look as "arrogant" or "opinionated". I thought that was silly, but I understand what they were saying.

I just wanted your thoughts. I wanted to get a summer job, but I wasn't planning on blowing another 150 on micros... and wigs in the summer may be a little too much... so I just needs comments and suggestions, and also thoughts on this whole "arrogant" thing.

Thanks In Advance,
Raven

 

[Poranges]

I was in the car on my way home from dance practice, and I was discussing with my parents how I planned on BCing in June after I am done with my micros, and they said that I would look nice, but I would have a hard time getting hired because employers would see my look as "arrogant" or "opinionated". I thought that was silly, but I understand what they were saying.

I just wanted your thoughts. I wanted to get a summer job, but I wasn't planning on blowing another 150 on micros... and wigs in the summer may be a little too much... so I just needs comments and suggestions, and also thoughts on this whole "arrogant" thing.

Thanks In Advance,
Raven

Um, thoughts on the bolded...ohwell:erplexed

Thoughts on you not being able to get hired, I really don't know, atleast I don't think so...that would be a form of discrimination, no? Go head and BC is all I can say, a job that restricts you from wearing the hair you were born with or a short cut is not a job worth having IMO .

 

[LivingDol1]

hmm. i think it depends on the industry that you want to get a job in. i work in the design world and well, it's very liberal. i went to interviews with long long braids.... but i made sure that my hair never looked wild.

i think you can get away with a BC and wearing your hair natural to a job or an interview, as long as you make sure you look on point. i don't think it's arrogant. people wear their have in different styles, textures, and colors... your individuality must be respected.

 

[lusciousladie07]

I always thought your ATTITUDE is what made you arrogant or opinionated. ..not your hair or clothes or shoes or even what car u drive.. have you asked your parents if they see other naturals in this light? (this may be their own view.. not sure) ... I say do what you feel comfortable with... I think now is the time to learn that no matter what choice you choose... there WILL BE one person on earth that will not agree... once you are comfortable with that.. your choices will be YOUR choice and it made with a much clearer mind. hth

 

[CarLiTa]

I don't really agree with the words "arrogant" or "opinionated"

but...

I do see what your parents are saying. And I am in the same boat. While I am not itching to BC right now, I definitely wouldn't do it before getting a summer job... I don't know what the feel of the firm where I would be working is like, so I'd rather play it safer.

While I understand that people may feel it's discrimination and "it's a job you wouldn't want anyway"... I'm really not ready to let my hair, of all things, potentially keep me unemployed, or make it harder for me to GET into something.

I'd prefer to wait until I have the job, assess the environment, and then go ahead and do what I want to my hair.

Another thing is this: I really don't think it's best to BC right at the beginning of something as important as a job. Personally, I am afraid that I might have a harder time than expected with dealing with my natural hair... so I'm not trying to show up at my new summer job with my hair looking less than decent because I'm struggling in the beginning stages of being natural.

I'd prefer to wait until the end of the summer, in that time period between the end of the summer job/internship and the start of the new school year when I can really experiment with new hairstyles, get comfortable being natural, etc.

That's all my opinion, though. But I do think you should wait.

 

[Evolving78]

i well i have short, nappy hair and even when i had close to no hair at all, i was able to land a job. i just went had an interview a few days ago and now i am waiting to here back from them. please believe that your parents are the ones that have those feeling about your hair being short and nappy. that is an old school attitude. this is not the 1960 where someone thought you were going to start a revolution or take over the white man's company and overthrow the white man. as long as you are neat and professional, you won't have a problem.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

All of the jobs I have had in my adult life I had post-BC. I have never been turned down because of my hair. My advice to you would be to accessorize your TWA. Just wear a nice little headband on the interview. It looks very professional.

 

[RavenMaven]

i well i have short, nappy hair and even when i had close to no hair at all, i was able to land a job. i just went had an interview a few days ago and now i am waiting to here back from them. please believe that your parents are the ones that have those feeling about your hair being short and nappy. that is an old school attitude. this is not the 1960 where someone thought you were going to start a revolution or take over the white man's company and overthrow the white man. as long as you are neat and professional, you won't have a problem.

Yes, but my parents are in their early thirties and my mother BC'd in December herself. She doesn't even have an afro because she prefers to keep it very very short. So I was wondering why she would have that opinion about a hairstyle that she herself has.

 

[Evolving78]

you know what, black folks need to stop being scared about other folks not accepting their hair and start accepting their own. to have an inferior attitude towards something God-given is just crazy. it really bothers me that we have to resort to weaves, wigs, and chemicals to please folks in the workforce/corporate world. i am not talking about coming into work with extreme hairstyles, crazy colors, or looking like you are going to a Halloween party. you should have to physically alter yourself for someone's peace of mind. we need to embrace our hair and wear it how we want to wear. black folks need to stop selling out for a paycheck. if we accepted what was natural and beautiful about ourselves, then other folks would be forced to accepted as well.

 

[ajacks]

I am relaxed but if I ever decide to go natural, its crazy to think that I will be judged based on the hair God gave me naturally. It is not arrogant or opinionated to wear your hair in it's natural state. It saddens me that we still have to worry how our natural hair will be perceived in 2009.

Are you parents concerned with the length of your hair after the BC, or is it the fact that you won't have a relaxer that poses the problem?

 

[Evolving78]

Yes, but my parents are in their early thirties and my mother BC'd in December herself. She doesn't even have an afro because she prefers to keep it very very short. So I was wondering why she would have that opinion about a hairstyle that she herself has.

ok, you mother is around my age then. it is the fro, not the short hair then. my mother is in her fifties and she didn't mind me wearing my hair extreme short and curly/coily. but as soon as i started letting it grow out, then came the comments. the same thing with my husband. that mentality is passed down from generation to generation.

 

[RavenMaven]

I am relaxed but if I ever decide to go natural, its crazy to think that I will be judged based on the hair God gave me naturally. It is not arrogant or opinionated to wear your hair in it's natural state. It saddens me that we still have to worry how our natural hair will be perceived in 2009.

Are you parents concerned with the length of your hair after the BC, or is it the fact that you won't have a relaxer that poses the problem?

I think that they are more concerned about the length because when I chop it will be about an inch and a half, hopefully two inches of new growth, I am not quite sure. My hair texture is not bad at all, and there are barely any kinks that I know of.

 

[AngieB]

This hair thing still amazes me. A co-worker of mine was told that if she expected to advance, she needed to do something about her hair. She either wore neat locs or cornrows. I think I was more ticked off than she was about it. I have been known to wear braids on occasion when I feel like it.

 

[Junebug D]

What? Don't believe the hype. I got my job (in a Big 10 law firm) with my 4b TWA, been there for years now and no one has said anything to me about my hair at any stage; even when I shaved it bald. As long as you present yourself in an appropriate manner-- you are clean, your clothes are ironed and neat, etc, your face is clean-- you will be fine.

 

[Babylilac]

What? Don't believe the hype. I got my job (in a Big 10 law firm) with my 4b TWA, been there for years now and no one has said anything to me about my hair at any stage; even when I shaved it bald. As long as you present yourself in an appropriate manner-- you are clean, your clothes are ironed and neat, etc, your face is clean-- you will be fine.

I agree with you.I got a new job a month and half ago ago and I bcied two weeks ago 4b twa.Nobody at work asked me why i cut my hair ,I am professional,I am always wearing clean clothes ironed and neat.Why would one not get a job if you good at what you do?Because of short hair?I do not think so!!!

 

[Junebug D]

Just adding that you would probably do a lot better with a neatly picked-out TWA than microbraids. To some "other" folk, it is seen as a simple, no-nonsense, confident, all-about-business look on a black woman.

 

[BklynHeart]

I used to work at an investment firm where they didn't allow white women to have their hair too blond or wear it big and curly. A few of the black women wore their hair natural and never had a problem with it. One of them was a V.P.

 

[Honey01]

I actually agree with your parents. Of course there are exceptions, but I do not doubt this happens. I think the perception is not so much one of arrorgance, but more likely to be perceived as Afro-centric (and all of the other racially tinged stereotypes that come with it).

Generally speaking, I can see this ocurring in conservative professions like investment banking, and finance.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I think you are blessed to have parents who love you enough to tell you the truth.

While I'm sure you would look beautiful with a TWA, you have to consider how you would appear to a Human Resources person, or to whomever might be interviewing you. We all know that our natural hair is beautiful... but sometimes other people have not made it that far in thier understanding to realize it. The HR person or interviewer may not even consciously realize that it is the TWA that makes them uncomfortable.

What I'm trying to say is that, sad as it is, you would be taking a risk by BCing right now.

Good luck in your job search no matter what you decide.

 

[Nice Lady]

If you are planning to get an internship, that matters as a professional working as an attorney, I think that at any law firm(national top performing ones) that I have worked at that would be a hindrance. You have to fit the mark and then, adjust to your own flow. I think get the job and then do the big chop. Wigs usually last for 6 weeks so buy one and keep it until you secure something especially with this market. There are millions out there and they could careless and discrimination--you can't do anything about that and it is not discrimination.

 

[Junebug D]

I just don't see this discrimination against TWA's (that are neatly trimmed, no accessories, no hair dye, etc.-- just neat & simple). I work at one of those big national law firms, and this is pretty much one of the safest hairstyles for a black woman. I see it all the time. I think some of you need to get it out of your head that "this TWA is limiting, radical, extreme, unique, etc.". I'm telling you a TWA on a black woman is infinitely more professional than ANY type of weave, microbraids, and more professional than longer (SL+) hair that's worn loose. It is the safest style besides a severe bun, or the stiff Condi Rice bob.

I really need to do my TWA gallery on Fotki, but I'm telling you it is about your overall look. If you are wearing a TWA that's smushed, uneven, linty, etc-- then no. I would even say if your neatly picked-out TWA is 2 inches unstretched, then that's debateable. If you are wearing big, huge earrings and a pound of makeup because YOU feel ugly with a TWA, then no that's not appropriate. Keep it simple, neat, and clean. Nothing is more professional than this look! It boggles my mind that people are saying otherwise. At least by what I see everyday. Even on older black woman in a professional setting-- the TWA is *the* go-to style. I wore my TWA with clean neutral makeup, small stud earrings, a black suit & jacket, a light blue blouse, and no one turned their heads. And that is what you *want* in this situation: not one head to turn.

 

[lusciousladie07]

I always thought your ATTITUDE is what made you arrogant or opinionated. ..not your hair or clothes or shoes or even what car u drive.. have you asked your parents if they see other naturals in this light? (this may be their own view.. not sure) ... I say do what you feel comfortable with... I think now is the time to learn that no matter what choice you choose... there WILL BE one person on earth that will not agree... once you are comfortable with that.. your choices will be YOUR choice and it made with a much clearer mind. hth

Ok.. im just reading what some are saying and i understand everyone's point of view..but here is my question.. Let say you don't BC and get the job, feel comfortable and then bc 3 months into it.. and then the company folds... now your without a job and you still have a twa... Are you going to let that stop you from getting up and looking for another one? Are you going to throw on a wig and fake it till u get another one? When would it stop?!?!? Just my view..

 

[pinkgreenmommie]

I don't agree, but I can see where they are coming from. Most people who have the guts to BC are confident in who they are. People with low self-esteem feel threaten when working with confident people because they fear that there decisions may be questioned or that they will be challenged.

I won't say that if someone doesn't hire you because of your hair then you didn't need that job, cause in this economy jobs are hard to come by. I would suggest you BC and where a wig to the interview then after you land the job show them what you are made of (hair and all)...Do you and show them that there is nothing wrong with natural hair and that you are NOT your hair. Good luck in landing a job.

 

[Dak]

Trust me, the people that won't hire you because of your hair style you're not going to want to work for anyway.

Think of it as being able to instantly highgrade the people you're spending your time with.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

That is just old school thinking. Do you want to BC? You know you will look gorgeous either way.

 

[SmartyPants]

I was in the car on my way home from dance practice, and I was discussing with my parents how I planned on BCing in June after I am done with my micros, and they said that I would look nice, but I would have a hard time getting hired because employers would see my look as "arrogant" or "opinionated". I thought that was silly, but I understand what they were saying.

I just wanted your thoughts. I wanted to get a summer job, but I wasn't planning on blowing another 150 on micros... and wigs in the summer may be a little too much... so I just needs comments and suggestions, and also thoughts on this whole "arrogant" thing.

Thanks In Advance,
Raven

I think anyone who would have a problem with a TWA is going to have problems with micros... so '*** 'um!

 

[anomcasm]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with a PP. Depending on the industry and the type of job your are applying for, LOOKS (including hair, nails, dress) do count - especially if you are going to be the "face" of the organization. I know for a fact that my firm has turned down people because in the conservative environment where I work, braids, afros, twists, etc. (ie anything "ethnic looking") are not highly favored.

I think it depends on the type of job and the industry. I don't think it's a matter of being afraid of not being accepted, it's a matter of doing what is necessary to get the experience you need to perhaps one day make (and play) by your own rules.

 

[Raspberry]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with a PP. Depending on the industry and the type of job your are applying for, LOOKS (including hair, nails, dress) do count - especially if you are going to be the "face" of the organization. I know for a fact that my firm has turned down people because in the conservative environment where I work, braids, afros, twists, etc. (ie anything "ethnic looking") are not highly favored.

I think it depends on the type of job and the industry. I don't think it's a matter of being afraid of not being accepted, it's a matter of doing what is necessary to get the experience you need to perhaps one day make (and play) by your own rules.

How can that possibly be a comfortable place for a black person to work? Basically any sign that you are black is discouraged than I'm not sure how a wig or a relaxer will do big things for a woman's career there. Do black women get promoted where you work?

 

[Raspberry]

I was in the car on my way home from dance practice, and I was discussing with my parents how I planned on BCing in June after I am done with my micros, and they said that I would look nice, but I would have a hard time getting hired because employers would see my look as "arrogant" or "opinionated". I thought that was silly, but I understand what they were saying.

I just wanted your thoughts. I wanted to get a summer job, but I wasn't planning on blowing another 150 on micros... and wigs in the summer may be a little too much... so I just needs comments and suggestions, and also thoughts on this whole "arrogant" thing.

Thanks In Advance,
Raven

I have to keep it real with you - I also live in upstate NY and I bet most employers would be happy just to see a black girl without a terrible weave, which is an epidemic up here. I highly doubt a twa would hold you back - they may even see you as being mature for your age and drama free.

The arrogant thing is mostly your parents projection - most of these employers don't see natural hair enough, especially TWAs, to have any real opinion about it.

 

[LivingDol1]

I think anyone who would have a problem with a TWA is going to have problems with micros... so '*** 'um!

LOL. so true!

like i said before, if you make sure your hair is on point, there should be no issue. another previous poster was saying how women at law firms are wearing TWAs. that's probably the profession with the most strict rules regarding work attire.

did you see a previous thread where one of the girls did a BC? i think she posted it yesterday or today but her hair looks fierce in that short hair cut and i don't see why you couldn't wear your hair like that in a professional setting.