ITS MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

[SimpleBrooklyn]

WARNING...VENT
Goodness gracious! Some family members are really getting on my dayum nerves when it comes to MY hair. Especially my aunt and my cousin (somtimes, but even more with her fiance) and her fiance. Leave me the hell alone. If it bothers you that much...stop looking at me when I detangle. Stop looking at me when I wash and deep condition. Don't ask me to go out with you when you know 99% of the dayum time my hair will be snatched back in a messy bun thingy. Goodness, why does my hair take up soooo much of your discussion time and wack a** jokes. Like seriously. Don't ask me when I'm getting a relaxer...cuz I'm not. Don't ask me why I'm no longer relaxing...cuz you seem to forget the reason every time I tell you. Don't ask me why I don't wanna go dread, don't ask me why I don't get a press. Leave me the hell alone. Sh**! You are partly the reason why i put the relaxer back in after I went natural for about 3 years. Ya'll bothered the sh** out of me and because of that and low self esteem I put that stuff back in my hair. Can you imagine where I would be now had it not been for you negative a** people. I would have 7 years of natural hair!!!!! Leave me the hell alone. Your corny ass jokes and ignorant comments are annoying and show how shallow you are. "Natty dread". Am I supposed to feel some way because you called me "natty dread". Is that supposed to mean something negative? Like seriously. Come on now. My "nappy bun" was annoying you. Really? turn the f*** around and stop calling me. This is my hair. Deal with it. You all are annoying me, irritating me. Worry about your hair. Is is my fault that you all equate beauty with long relaxed hair. I had long relaxed hair. Big f******* whoop. What's the big deal. I am not your fiance, my cuz is, so worry about her head. Shoot not even, worry about yours and how you keep shaving it cuz when it grows out your bald spots are visible. Okay that was a little harsh, but come on. These individuals are so shallow and ignorant. "Natty dread". What the hell is wrong with that hair type? Huh? It shoud not even matter if I have it or not. What?....are only certain types okay to go natural? "Why yuh hair so hard?" Take ya dayum hands out my hair. Leave me alone. My hair has different faces. Goodness. There is so much more that I want to say, but this is already long. Thanks girls.

P.S. I am transitioning. Like 16/17months now. My mother loves what I am doing and supports me. Its just these members of the family that keep voicing these absurb opinions that I didn't ask for. The first time I went natural I was needy in terms of support. This time around I could care less.

AND. as I am sitting here typing with the conditioner sitting on my hair, my aunt walks by and touches my hair. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

[Sui Topi]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Don't let them get you down. We're here for you girl!

 

[soulfusion]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

go ahead and get it allllll off your chest. You know how people are .. they always gotta have something to say. When you get into the habit of zoning them out, it won't even bother you anymore. Congrats on your progress so far!

 

[Tamrin]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Im so sorry gir. Pay them no mind. Some people just don't got nothing better with there time then pay attention to other folks' situations.

I got a solution for this. When thye are making their comments just look straight at their heads. Keep your gaze right there. I like making folks like that feel as uncomfortable as they make me.

 

[SimpleBrooklyn]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

And what else is bad is that they had me singling myself out. I mean, theywould make sooo many comments I would show them my curl pattern and my waves hoping they would lay off. But that was wrong of me. It was like I was buying into the whole "well my texture isn't like that" and so on. I love my hair. ANd I LOVE ALL HEALTHY NATURAL HAIR. I like healthy relaxed hair too, but that is not where I am right now. I just felt bad because of the comparison I felt I was forced to make to justify what i was doing. Does that make sense? I don't know. I'm just glad its off my chest. I love my hair. I love healthy hair...period. Thanks again ladies

 

[LunadeMiel]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Awww Don't let them get to you.

 

[Neith]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I would tell THEM this.

Sometimes you have to make harsh statements to really be heard
​

 

[SimpleBrooklyn]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much ladies. Longdayinthepark..LOL. I love it!!
I try my hardest to ignore. I'm straight forward with what i say like "I'm going natural." "Because I want to" "I don't want to" You know stuff like that, but they just keep at it. And the S*** they say is so dumb, like come on. Seriously, are we in 1st grade. Goodness. Get a life!!!!!!!!
Thanks again ladies lol

 

[SimpleBrooklyn]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Neith...you are right. But I'm so not confrontational. I'm the type to pick up on body language or attitude..youknow stuff like that. So I guess I hoped they would get the idea from my responses and body language. BUT NOOOOOOOO! So I guess I will have to take your advice. I just hate making people feel uncomfortable even though they do it to me (family mostly). I need to get over it quick.

Thanks ladies for all the support.

 

[BostonMaria]

Some people want to rub off their insecurities on us to make themselves feel better. You've transitioned this much, just keep going. Its good to vent. Once in a blue moon somebody will say something ignorant, but I just have to ignore them. At the end of the day its all about MY happiness. Your cousin should be ashamed of herself. Does she live with you or something? Remind her that under her beautiful straight relaxed hair is some nappy hair just like the rest of us LOL

 

[NOEChic]

girl, i feel you, people keep askin me, "when are you gonna put a perm in your hair", or tell me "you should wear your hair straight all the time" i just dust off my shoulders, b/c my hair look better than most of the people who have something to say

 

[leleepop]

I feel your pain. I relaxed after ridicule from family members also. At least you got your Mom. I am not so lucky and I hear it EVERY time I see her. Big Huggs and to natural hair.(As Esh said)lol

 

[caribgirl]

Hey Sis,
This is to comfort you:



And this is for you successfully reaching your 17th month into transitioning:

 

[LongCurlyLocks]

Dang, this is what happened to me; the way it went down and everything. My cousin and aunt were the culprits in the family and 'friends' at school. That went on most of my teenage years till I broke and got a relaxer at 17. Big mistake. And I tried to stop perming for a while and then went back to one. Haven't had a full perm since 04'. The only thing I do now is perm my edges ONLY so they can lay flat when I get my hair straightened-which is only a few times a year anyway. Don't let them break you-you've gone too far now.

 

[sillygirl82]

That is ridiculous. My aunt gives me flack about my hair, but not to that extreme.
I just don't get the big uproar about natural hair. You're supposed to wear your hair the way that is healthiest for you, not for someone else.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Ug, that would drive me crazy. I am so sorry they are being so ignorant about it. I really think you should just explode on them one day and then they would back off. They'd probably think "That natural hair is driving her crazy, lemme leave her alone" lol. I'm glad you have some support in your mom. Hang in there girl!!

 

[Rae1234]

congrats on being natural! dont worry about ur family members!

 

[SimpleBrooklyn]

Thank you. Every last one of you for your comments and your support. Its nice to hear (but also sad) to hear that people have gone through what I have. I think it is ridiculous. I would never do what they do to me to them or anyone else.
I like to keep to myself, but I'm temporarily living with my aunt, so i'm more prone to seeing those negative people more. That is it. They are negative. Period. They are always talking about somebody. They always have something negative to say. My aunt is a sweet heart, they all are nice, but she has some ways about her. I know she won't change her ways, so I'm just looking forward to changing my environment...I don't need that negativity around me. It does affect me at times.

 

[MissNina]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I would tell THEM this.

Sometimes you have to make harsh statements to really be heard
​

ITA! I'm sorry they are being so rude and inconsiderate, but some ppl will just continue to do that until you set them straight real quick!

But as long as you are happy and the person that really matters (your mother) is supporting you, it is all good in my eyes. Those other ppl, although family, really don't matter. You, your hair and God

 

[joib]

That's telling them. Let it all out. Just let-it-all-out.

 

[lildhe]

Girl, it's gonna be o.k. I went through the same thing too when I became natural... I would tell them "don't get mad at me because I can handle being a real black woman and you cant" and that usually shut them up !!!! It does get on your nerves I know but brush them off and enjoy the hair God gave you !!!! I dont think I will ever understand why 'WE' cant accept our hair .Who are "WE" trying to please ? It really need to stop !!!!

 

[LilBrownied]

>=(

I went through the same kinda thing this weekend. I have an annoying self-hating aunt. I would print everything you just posted and send it to them as a letter. Tell them to BACK OFF and mind their damn business!!!

Stay strong and grow beautiful hair!!!

 

[Son26]

They need to mind their own business. Stay strong. Try to tune them out and keep growing your beautiful hair.

 

[naturalepiphany]

Congrats on your transitioning journey. It saddens me that our families can be so critical about our natural hair that grows out of our heads. I have a sister-in-law that makes similar comments to me, I'm also transitioning (8 months). With her its more so like she's stuck in the ways of straight hair is beautiful and nappy heads are bad. Whatever! So when she comes with the crazy questions about my hair I say to her in return, "Why are you so concerned? Its my body. You don't have to live with it. I DO." This keeps me sane and from just blowing up about it, because I can go on and on about some natural hair. Be blessed and don't let them stress you.

 

[cecilie]

You can't be approved by everyone so keep your choice and enjoy it .

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl get used to it. I have been natural since 2001 and still get these kinds of questions from family members. I don't understand why they care, I don't care what they do with their hair.

 

[Eisani]

Re: ITS MY F****** HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I would tell THEM this.

Sometimes you have to make harsh statements to really be heard
​

ITA. Sometimes you gotta get people off your back mama. Umm, why is your cousin's fiance saying anything? If I didn't say anything to anyone else, I'd get that monkey off my back because he is WAY out of line. Your aunt and cousin are too, but the fiance? Fiance? He really doesn't count! Tell him to beat it.

 

[TaraDyan]

Awwwwww ... I'm so sorry you are going through this, SimpleBrooklyn. It's really easy for me to sit over here and tell you to "stay strong and ignore them girl", but that's exactly what I'm gonna tell ya. I'm transitioning too (as you know), so I definitely took a few backhanded comments from a couple of co-workers at the beginning of my journey. The comments have stopped (thankfully), but it's probably because I've gotten real good at throwing the cold, icy stares that can pierce through the soul. People kill me thinking they have the right to comment about anything I choose to do with my hair.

 

[lovinglength]

I know what you're going thru. You're a strong woman for not throwing jokes back...I would be all over the fiance's a** with the baldy jokes, and tell them stop hating on the hair that God has blessed you with. And if throwing jokes back is not your style, sit them down and tell them it really bothers you when they joke about your hair (tell them WHY it bothers you) and you seriously wont tolerate it anymore.

 

[MissLawyerLady]

The next time they ask you about your hair, you ask them who they're voting for in the next election and why; ask what is their stance on the economy, global warming, alternative fuel sources; and then ask them is their soul prepared to meet God in judgment.

When they look at you strange, then tell them that when they've thought about their answers to these very pressing issues (and- in the case of the last question- an eternally pressing issue), that your hair should really be a non-issue for them!