Ventation full of Frustration, lol

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I have really been unhappy with my hair for quite sometime. To make a long story short, I thought about just flatironing my hair often and staying natural, but then I thought that this practice could be just as damaging as getting a relaxer, so why not just cut out the middle man and go full throttle and relax? Next thought was how I noticed several relaxed women still use direct heat occassionally and by this observation I was back at square one again with my decision. I really don't know what to do with my hair. I am honestly SICK of having to wet my natural hair EVERYDAY just so I wrap my hair in a low bun. I am SICK of my dry,stiff natural hair having no life until I wet it. I am SICK of wearing my hair big and full one day and in order to re-create the look I have to , you guessed it, re-wet it and then twist or braid it again. It's like once my hair dries, I can forget it and oh God, the TANGLES!! Fingercombing is not my forte.

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

stay strong Brownshuga. I felt this way. First I cut it, then I texlaxed, now I am totally relaxed, sort of missing my extremely thick kinky LONG hair. I am getting there as far as length and thickness with relaxed hair, but it is a different kind of frustration. I have to pay attention to moisture and protein balance a lot more than just wetting my hair when it was natural. Just give yourself a small break, try some twist for a while . If you still want to relax then go for it. Just be sure

 

[ladylibra]

okay here's the plan. chop all your hair off and send it to me. i will pay you top dollar

okay but for real. i feel your pain. i've been saying the same thing lately and my hair is nowhere NEAR your length. *sighs* i keep saying i'm gonna braid it up, haven't had the time or energy to do so yet. that always gets me over the chopping urge. if i don't do it soon though... y'all are gonna see LL's 2nd big chop... and it will involve clippers

 

[sillygirl82]

I flat-iron once a week when I wash my hair. I don't think that my hair is horribly damaged. It's dry as the desert on occasion but it has been like that since I was little.

What kind of moisturizer are you using?

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

I am so sorry you feel this way. I'm currently transitioning and drool over hair like yours. I really don't have any advice to offer other than maybe hide your hair for a while if it's possible. Maybe you just need a break from it? Whenever I had braids or weaves put in it was beacuse I was sick and tired of my own hair and after a while og hiding my hair I missed it...

Whatever you choose to do; if you decide to relax it or cut it all off, remember it's just hair )

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I flat-iron once a week when I wash my hair. I don't think that my hair is horribly damaged. It's dry as the desert on occasion but it has been like that since I was little.

What kind of moisturizer are you using?

I use castor oil.

Let me add something about my hair. You know how people desire that big hair once they go natural? Well for me, that's not really the case. I can't put my finger on how to explain the 'thickness' of my hair but one thing I can say- in order to get if full, I have to play with it, shake my head, pull and tug at it, let a little bit of moisture get to it, etc etc. Ofcourse it looks thicker than when I had a relaxer, but it's really not that poofalicious. Matter of fact, I am wondering if I am balding in my crown. When I touch it, I don't have to search and pull apart hair to get to my scalp at all.

 

[clever]

I don't wanna be a bad influence but.....gone head and flat iron it.

You can have it swangin real nice and do some braidouts for loose waves and pincurls for nice juicy curls when you get tired of it being straight.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I don't wanna be a bad influence but.....gone head and flat iron it.

You can have it swangin real nice and do some braidouts for loose waves and pincurls for nice juicy curls when you get tired of it being straight.

Elle, you have great, versatile nachal hair. My concern is me having to 'train' it to get it to look like yours when straight.

 

[MonPetite]

Hello there, lovely!

Let me just say I washed and/or co-washed daily relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, bone straight, and now natural. I lurved the hassle!

I can't wait for the hassle you describe.

I gots problems.

ANY WHO!

Do what makes you happy. Maybe a texture softener versus relaxing could be all you need? Something to knock the frizz down but not actually change your hair enough to have to redefine your "type".

Whatever you do, it'll look great! You have lovely hair!

 

[Paradox]

I have really been unhappy with my hair for quite sometime. To make a long story short, I thought about just flatironing my hair often and staying natural, but then I thought that this practice could be just as damaging as getting a relaxer, so why not just cut out the middle man and go full throttle and relax? Next thought was how I noticed several relaxed women still use direct heat occassionally and by this observation I was back at square one again with my decision. I really don't know what to do with my hair. I am honestly SICK of having to wet my natural hair EVERYDAY just so I wrap my hair in a low bun. I am SICK of my dry,stiff natural hair having no life until I wet it. I am SICK of wearing my hair big and full one day and in order to re-create the look I have to , you guessed it, re-wet it and then twist or braid it again. It's like once my hair dries, I can forget it and oh God, the TANGLES!! Fingercombing is not my forte.

I am going through the EXACT same thing with you( I've been thinking about this.. everyday). everynight I have rewet my hair to my braid out, because when it gets dry..it really does get dry. I don't know whether I should "train(heat damage" my hair, or relax it. But doing my hair every night is extremely time consuming. however if I use heat then it will get thin.
I feel much too restricted by my hair
I am so confused at this point.

 

[ladylibra]

I use castor oil.

Let me add something about my hair. You know how people desire that big hair once they go natural? Well for me, that's not really the case. I can't put my finger on how to explain the 'thickness' of my hair but one thing I can say- in order to get if full, I have to play with it, shake my head, pull and tug at it, let a little bit of moisture get to it, etc etc. Ofcourse it looks thicker than when I had a relaxer, but it's really not that poofalicious. Matter of fact, I am wondering if I am balding in my crown. When I touch it, I don't have to search and pull apart hair to get to my scalp at all.

really? well. dang. i can't find my scalp on a good day without a 3rd hand

 

[anon123]

I don't know what encouragement or advice to offer you, but one thing I can say is that I have seen your dry (as in not wet) hair in person and it is hardly lifeless. My goddess, you have a stunning head of hair! lemme think on this for a while.

in the mean time, what if you twist your hair while wet, wear the twists for a day or two, and then wear the twist out? how long will that last?

 

[anon123]

okay here's the plan. chop all your hair off and send it to me. i will pay you top dollar

okay but for real. i feel your pain. i've been saying the same thing lately and my hair is nowhere NEAR your length. *sighs* i keep saying i'm gonna braid it up, haven't had the time or energy to do so yet. that always gets me over the chopping urge. if i don't do it soon though... y'all are gonna see LL's 2nd big chop... and it will involve clippers

you, too?! noooo. we're going to have an intervention. i visit indy several times a year and i will be raiding your house and stealing every cutting implement.

 

[zzirvingj]

Add me to the natchalswhoaretiredoftheirhair list!

Sorry I have nothing to add......but I feel your pain. I have to conditioner wash every morning just to do a bun, so I feel you...

ETA: Umm...what about rollersetting? (Don't laugh at me for asking that!) lol

 

[schipperchow1]

You are one of my hair inspirations! But I do understand your frustration. do you really think that caring for your hair will be easier once it's relaxed?

 

[ricochet]

Hey T! All I have to say is, I have been exactly where you are and I chopped. I don't regret it one bit and although I didn't go bald or twa, the shorter cut eliminated a lot of tangle issues, hair not falling a certain way, twistouts not having that certain "oomph", etc. I loved it and even though I do miss my long natural hair, I am glad I didn't relax it. You know I am currently growing it back but maybe you just need a change? Do what you feel and by all means, don't let your hair limit you. It's just hair, it can be changed, and it grows back. Be blessed in your decision and call me if you need to!

 

[sound]

okay here's the plan. chop all your hair off and send it to me. i will pay you top dollar

okay but for real. i feel your pain. i've been saying the same thing lately and my hair is nowhere NEAR your length. *sighs* i keep saying i'm gonna braid it up, haven't had the time or energy to do so yet. that always gets me over the chopping urge. if i don't do it soon though... y'all are gonna see LL's 2nd big chop... and it will involve clippers

Don't say that!




That just hurt my feelings.


BOTH of yall can send it over here if you chop it. thanks.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I don't know what encouragement or advice to offer you, but one thing I can say is that I have seen your dry (as in not wet) hair in person and it is hardly lifeless. My goddess, you have a stunning head of hair! lemme think on this for a while.

in the mean time, what if you twist your hair while wet, wear the twists for a day or two, and then wear the twist out? how long will that last?

Thanks Dzi fo' shezi

Hmmm. I will revisit two strand twists again. The problem is I have to be careful as the thickness of each twist. If I do them to small, that's just asking for them to fuse together even for a couple of days. The pro with doing smaller two strands is I can be carefree with the parting. Bigger two strands are just the opposite of the smaller two strand problem. My two strand twistout (that you saw at the last meet ) only lasts for a good day. The next day I have to put it in a high ponytail because it gets too limp (just like at the meet ).

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Add me to the natchalswhoaretiredoftheirhair list!

Sorry I have nothing to add......but I feel your pain. I have to conditioner wash every morning just to do a bun, so I feel you...

ETA: Umm...what about rollersetting? (Don't laugh at me for asking that!) lol

Whew. Rollersetting thoughts are giving me hair pangs I was really good with rollersetting when relaxed, but I noticed that it is so much more difficult to keep the rollers in place as a nachal.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Hey T! All I have to say is, I have been exactly where you are and I chopped. I don't regret it one bit and although I didn't go bald or twa, the shorter cut eliminated a lot of tangle issues, hair not falling a certain way, twistouts not having that certain "oomph", etc. I loved it and even though I do miss my long natural hair, I am glad I didn't relax it. You know I am currently growing it back but maybe you just need a change? Do what you feel and by all means, don't let your hair limit you. It's just hair, it can be changed, and it grows back. Be blessed in your decision and call me if you need to!

Don't remind me that you cut your hair Girl, I was JUST thinking about how quickly you went from twa to waist length. On the outside looking in it appeared that your longer hair was no issue for you, but I see it was since you cut it. I have been inching to cut it back shoulder blade length though.

Did you cut your hair yourself?

 

[Supergirl]

Bubblin,

You've been feeling this way for a looonnngggg time! Maybe you could straighten your hair one week out of the month?

And ya know what, if you want to, then relax your hair. You don't have to come here for permission or justification to do it. Do what will make you happy.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I absolutely your hair, but I definately understand. When I start feeling like that, I braid/twist it to keep it out of the way, that prevents me from wanting to kick it's ***

 

[caligirl]

You and I are *here*. I feel like taking a razor to my hair every single day. I made the mistake of wetting my hair everyday and putting it into a puff for the past month (no combing out in between). I'm currently trying to undo dred locks and knots from hell. Never again.

 

[Prettyeyes]

BTW I love your hair Bubliun, but just remember that many relaxed heads still have to use heat/ rollers when they want to wear their hair down and the hair is more easily damaged. Then you have to battle with stretching/two textures and never being able to really wash and go.Whatever you decide I Know your hair will still be gorgeous.

 

[mscocoface]

Wow! It seems like an epidemic going on up in this here forum.

Mscocoface backing up out of this here thread and hiding all scissors, razors and clippers...

Breathe girl...breathe, now go up in that hair closet of yours and get you some twist extensions and get busy. You done worked for 3 years to get here now you are listening to the voices. Don't go into the liiiiiight!!!

You need a break cause you are thinking all kinds of foolishness right now. Run, run chile up outta here!

Feets don't fail me now!!!!

 

[Priss Pot]

Do what makes you happy! Your hair will be BEAUTIFUL either way.

You are one of my natural inspirations, and you still will be one, even if you decide to relax.

Can you not get 2nd/3rd/4th day hair with a wash 'n go? I would think that with your length, it would be fairly easy. There's a fotki by someone named Kinkerbelle (I'm sure you've probably seen it) who shows how she gets 2nd/3rd/+ day hair without having to fully re-wet the hair everyday.

Also, with hair your length, I'd also think that you'd be able to just pull your hair back into a bun without having to fully re-wet it. Maybe you could just try lightly misting your hair with water, and then smoothing it back into a ponytail/bun to make the process a bit easier instead of having to re-wet totally?

I'm sure you've probably tried everything in the book to make it work, but if not, those are just a couple of suggestions. HTH!

 

[Poohbear]

You already know I feel your frustrations. For several months, I have been blowdrying my hair after every wash and wearing it in a fro, braidout, twistout, or puff. I would occassionally press or flat-iron my hair. After awhile, I got tired of using heat...

Well, about a couple of weeks ago, I saw these two videos that made me change my routine to make things easier for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3W11f-XUuE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9gfjG2jK-E&feature=related

Hope that helps sweetie!

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

You already know I feel your frustrations. For several months, I have been blowdrying my hair after every wash and wearing it in a fro, braidout, twistout, or puff. I would occassionally press or flat-iron my hair. After awhile, I got tired of using heat...

Well, about a couple of weeks ago, I saw these two videos that made me change my routine to make things easier for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3W11f-XUuE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9gfjG2jK-E&feature=related

Hope that helps sweetie!

Her videos are fantastic...She's a member here

 

[Miss*Tress]

I use castor oil.

Let me add something about my hair. You know how people desire that big hair once they go natural? Well for me, that's not really the case. I can't put my finger on how to explain the 'thickness' of my hair but one thing I can say- in order to get if full, I have to play with it, shake my head, pull and tug at it, let a little bit of moisture get to it, etc etc. Ofcourse it looks thicker than when I had a relaxer, but it's really not that poofalicious. Matter of fact, I am wondering if I am balding in my crown. When I touch it, I don't have to search and pull apart hair to get to my scalp at all.

I have some of the same issues when I wear my hair curly. That's why I continue to roller set - it gets my hair straight enough that I don't have to re-wet it to style and is less damaging than flat-ironing and/or relaxing.

Another point: castor oil may not be the best for daily moisturizing, but I can confirm that it works really well on wet hair.

 

[Dak]

I felt the same way as you about a year and a half ago. Every day I would have to get my hair wet to bring back the curl and it just took too much time since most of the time I would wear it in a ponytail. I'm now wearing my natural hair straight, I roller set, then flat iron. My hair is healthy, much healthier than if I used chemicals, and I love the feel of brushing my hair again. My curl pattern is still there if I want to wear it curlier, no damage to speak of.