I'VE BEEN NATURAL FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS. BEING A GOVT' EMPLOYEE IT WAS HARD TRYING TO UPHOLD A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE. MY HAIR WAS ABOUT 3 INCHES LONG. BRAIDS WAS TAKING MY EDGES. SO I HAD A LONG TALK WITH MYSELF, AND WE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO WHAT WE KNOW. SO I RELAXED. BUT GET THIS. IT'S STILL CURLY LIKE IN THE 3 CATAGORY. SO IT REALLY DEFEATED MY PURPOSE. WILL I EVER GET A BREAK?
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naturalgurl
New Member
Maybe you're on a new journey! I work an office government job(University research hospital) with lots of executives, doctors, professors and the like. The good thing is they embrace diversity. There are lots of naturals here letting it ALL hang out. I choose to wear my donut bun mostly because it's easy. Too bad most government jobs don't embrace that.
Anyway, enjoy the new you. As long as you like it, that's all that matters.
Anyway, enjoy the new you. As long as you like it, that's all that matters.
KnottyGurl
New Member
Yeaahhh, texlaxed! Gurl, you still in the game.
Girl just say that you are texlaxed not relaxed.
TriniStarr
New Member
monieluv, i feel you on that......enjoyed your telexed hair!
I am back. Can you explain the bold a little further?
Are you saying that because you had short natural hair, it was deemed as unprofessional? Can you give us examples of situations where this occured in your work environment? Just curious...
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
SouthernTease
New Member
Maybe you're on a new journey! I work an office government job(University research hospital) with lots of executives, doctors, professors and the like. The good thing is they embrace diversity. There are lots of naturals here letting it ALL hang out. I choose to wear my donut bun mostly because it's easy. Too bad most government jobs don't embrace that.
Anyway, enjoy the new you. As long as you like it, that's all that matters.
Ditto!!! In the end... you need to be happy with it.
Maybe you're on a new journey! I work an office government job(University research hospital) with lots of executives, doctors, professors and the like. The good thing is they embrace diversity. There are lots of naturals here letting it ALL hang out. I choose to wear my donut bun mostly because it's easy. Too bad most government jobs don't embrace that.
Anyway, enjoy the new you. As long as you like it, that's all that matters.
it is a shame. just when you think that different and natural is embraced and accepted, someone always have to pull the plug. i just want to be what i was created to be. A NATURALLY, BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN.
WOW!!!
I feel so honored that you'd comment. I've been a fan of you blog for the longest. I absolutely love you hair. Plus, you give very good advice and reviews.
I started off with a shaved cut. Then it started growing. According to the regulations, women hair can't appear UNKEMPT. That word would piss and woman off. It just isn't much I could have done with it except wear wigs and braids at work and sport my fro during the weekend.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Did someone actually tell you that your hair looked unkempt, or was that just how you felt about it?
It's the look I get. Some things don't even need to be said, you know? If they can make someone cut their dreads....?
Social.Buttahfly
New Member
In this life you have to do what is best for you, nothing else matters. I too am leaving the natural journey for the texlaxed or relaxed (for those who are offended by the term texlax) 
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Ah. I disagree, personally, but you were in the situation, and that's how you feel, then you did the right thing, I guess.
Mook's hair
New Member
Are you pleased with the outcome?
If you want it straighter, you may have to do a corrective in about 4 weeks.
Talk to Still A Lady, When she first relaxed her natural hair, I think she had the same thing happen. Hopefully she can give you some insight.
Good luck.
If you want it straighter, you may have to do a corrective in about 4 weeks.
Talk to Still A Lady, When she first relaxed her natural hair, I think she had the same thing happen. Hopefully she can give you some insight.
Good luck.
Cheleigh
Well-Known Member
If you didn't feel comfortable with it, I totally understand, but having a 3" afro is not the same as having unkempt hair. Nor is it the same as having locs (although locs are usually not unkempt either). My hair was most "kempt" when it was short. Now that it's long, if I don't put it up, it really is "unkempt."
If you ever decide to again go natural, it's a mental journey, not just a physical one sometimes. Sometimes we allow "what other people "might" be thinking" to limit what we do in our own lives. Good luck on your new do.
If you didn't feel comfortable with it, I totally understand, but having a 3" afro is not the same as having unkempt hair. Nor is it the same as having locs (although locs are usually not unkempt either). My hair was most "kempt" when it was short. Now that it's long, if I don't put it up, it really is "unkempt."
Good luck on your new do.
I was just looking at your albums. I absolutely love you hair and texture. Mine was like that, but not as coily. It was more of a cotton appearance.
Christa438
Well-Known Member
AAaaaw Im sorry, I hate when stuff like this happens. Natural hair is beautiful but texlaxed hair is pretty too. Maybe it just aint the time, maybe you can try again later, who knows. I thought maybe you had some stupid comments and questions from your co-workers/supervisors or that they told you to change your hair...Some people dont like really short hair either (and some people IRL associate it with being a lesby
erplexed). It's like if you dont have at least medium length, then you MUST get that weave. 
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
UNKEMPT? Would the text in this "policy" also address "styling" restraints /suggestions for "...those whose hair does not part naturally..."?
That I$h has pissed me off for years.
Anywho, I'd definatle suggest you try curlaway on your hair. I've posted in links that detail several ways to use it. Also as an alternative try "micro twist" until you achieve the look you want.
You are bolder than me
'cause I don't have the "intestinal" fortitude to cut mine for the very same challenges and reasons you speak of. I push the envelope with my "unkepmt" twists.....and I'm waiting for someone to ask me about it. 
That I$h has pissed me off for years.
Anywho, I'd definatle suggest you try curlaway on your hair. I've posted in links that detail several ways to use it. Also as an alternative try "micro twist" until you achieve the look you want.
You are bolder than me
'cause I don't have the "intestinal" fortitude to cut mine for the very same challenges and reasons you speak of. I push the envelope with my "unkepmt" twists.....and I'm waiting for someone to ask me about it.
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
UNKEMPT? Would the text in this "policy" also address "styling" restraints /suggestions for "...those whose hair does not part naturally..."?
That I$h has pissed me off for years.
Anywho, I'd definatle suggest you try curlaway on your hair. I've posted in links that detail several ways to use it. Also as an alternative try "micro twist" until you achieve the look you want.
You are bolder than me'cause I don't have the "intestinal" fortitude to cut mine for the very same challenges and reasons you speak of. I push the envelope with my "unkepmt" twists.....and I'm waiting for someone to ask me about it.
That I$h has pissed me off for years.
Anywho, I'd definatle suggest you try curlaway on your hair. I've posted in links that detail several ways to use it. Also as an alternative try "micro twist" until you achieve the look you want.
You are bolder than me
'cause I don't have the "intestinal" fortitude to cut mine for the very same challenges and reasons you speak of. I push the envelope with my "unkepmt" twists.....and I'm waiting for someone to ask me about it. 
Morenita
Well-Known Member
UNKEMPT? Would the text in this "policy" also address "styling" restraints /suggestions for "...those whose hair does not part naturally..."?
That I$h has pissed me off for years.
Anywho, I'd definatle suggest you try curlaway on your hair. I've posted in links that detail several ways to use it. Also as an alternative try "micro twist" until you achieve the look you want.
You are bolder than me
^^ I like her
ladylibra
New Member
OP, would this be considered "unkempt?" because i wore my hair like this to work (at a restaurant) and got a job offer that same day (at an office).
and how did they MAKE someone cut their locs? it wouldn't have been me, somebody would've had a lawsuit on their hands.
"natural" does not equal "unkempt." i'm sorry you were made to feel your hair was unacceptable, but i'm sure it was just fine and people were just pressuring you to conform.
Sui Topi
New Member
Don't take this the wrong way. Honestly, as everyone says, yours is the only opinion you should worry about, because we don't go through what you go through, so we can't really talk, but... how much more groomed does a 3" texlax look compared to a 3" natural? It still doesn't go into a pony, or fall into a centre part on its own etc. Doesn't it just look like how it did before but a little looser?
1QTPie
Elder Sim
Personally, I have never struggled with accepting or liking my hair, so it's not something that we all go through.
OP - I'm glad that you found something that works for you and pleases you, that's all that matters.
ALSO, when I hear people say that "some" natural hair can look unkempt, it just makes me.
If Sally Sue did the same exact thing with her hair that you did, she would be "kempt" ? (I know it's not a word.) Why? Because her hair is straight? Or Wavy? My bestie has a short fro that she plays with all the time, she even wears headwraps to work and this year she made GS13.
The "looks" people give you, shouldn't make you feel self-conscious. Ever. Hold your chin up, because trust me, no matter what you do, how you look or what you wear, someone will ALWAYS be looking at you cross-eyed trying to figure you out.
-Signed,
The nappy haired preacher that's been working in corporate America in Washington DC with her nappy-*** afro puff, neon nails, business suits, bright makeup since 2002 and has never stopped her from being promoted or even getting ANOTHER job at a Fortune 500 company.
It's all about your attitude, confidence and your drive. It's never about your hair, your skin color, your gender or your weight. Even when it seems like it is, it's really about the person making the judgment. Just push them aside and keep climbing the ladder baby.
OP - I'm glad that you found something that works for you and pleases you, that's all that matters.
ALSO, when I hear people say that "some" natural hair can look unkempt, it just makes me
. If Sally Sue did the same exact thing with her hair that you did, she would be "kempt" ? (I know it's not a word.) Why? Because her hair is straight? Or Wavy? My bestie has a short fro that she plays with all the time, she even wears headwraps to work and this year she made GS13.
The "looks" people give you, shouldn't make you feel self-conscious. Ever. Hold your chin up, because trust me, no matter what you do, how you look or what you wear, someone will ALWAYS be looking at you cross-eyed trying to figure you out.
-Signed,
The nappy haired preacher that's been working in corporate America in Washington DC with her nappy-*** afro puff, neon nails, business suits, bright makeup since 2002 and has never stopped her from being promoted or even getting ANOTHER job at a Fortune 500 company.
It's all about your attitude, confidence and your drive. It's never about your hair, your skin color, your gender or your weight. Even when it seems like it is, it's really about the person making the judgment. Just push them aside and keep climbing the ladder baby.
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
OP, for those who work with Uncle Sam in uniform. UNKEMPT is a "regulatory no-no". The current text includes that your ends must be "tucked or concealed". This UNKEMPTness can be very restricting and at times unflattering.
Restricting becasuse the interpretation is somewhat subjective. ...and perms are veiwed as the Norm for our hair.
Unflattering 'case after grueling day of work/PT/heat you can't just smooth our hair, adjust the ponytail holder and look "neat". This can be very problematic when you're natural or trying to transistion, and you're not even chin length yet.
I'm rocking my "micro twists" with frizz and a minor halo rightnow. I keep them neat...and don't tell them but locs are on the way.
As for having to cut off locs. If your hair style interfers with the wearing of head gear that is a BigA no-no. Despite the "text" I've seen sista's rocking locs in uniform, but usually they are mobilized reservist.
Regardless, a Black Womans hair and styles will always cause controversy in Uniform. ....unless we submit.....and use restraint!
....That's a war you won't hear much about!!
Restricting becasuse the interpretation is somewhat subjective. ...and perms are veiwed as the Norm for our hair.
Unflattering 'case after grueling day of work/PT/heat you can't just smooth our hair, adjust the ponytail holder and look "neat". This can be very problematic when you're natural or trying to transistion, and you're not even chin length yet.
I'm rocking my "micro twists" with frizz and a minor halo rightnow. I keep them neat...and don't tell them but locs are on the way.
As for having to cut off locs. If your hair style interfers with the wearing of head gear that is a BigA no-no. Despite the "text" I've seen sista's rocking locs in uniform, but usually they are mobilized reservist.
Regardless, a Black Womans hair and styles will always cause controversy in Uniform. ....unless we submit.....and use restraint!
....That's a war you won't hear much about!!
this is my situation. plus, is sticks out the head gear leaving a ring everytime i take it off. have to pull and fluff. if i could wear a headband, then this wouldn't be an issue. it's a sad situation, but i chose this career. i have to conform. but thanks for all the support and input.
Butterfly08
New Member
Personally, I have never struggled with accepting or liking my hair, so it's not something that we all go through.
OP - I'm glad that you found something that works for you and pleases you, that's all that matters.
ALSO, when I hear people say that "some" natural hair can look unkempt, it just makes me
If Sally Sue did the same exact thing with her hair that you did, she would be "kempt" ? (I know it's not a word.) Why? Because her hair is straight? Or Wavy? My bestie has a short fro that she plays with all the time, she even wears headwraps to work and this year she made GS13.
The "looks" people give you, shouldn't make you feel self-conscious. Ever. Hold your chin up, because trust me, no matter what you do, how you look or what you wear, someone will ALWAYS be looking at you cross-eyed trying to figure you out.
-Signed,
The nappy haired preacher that's been working in corporate America in Washington DC with her nappy-*** afro puff, neon nails, business suits, bright makeup since 2002 and has never stopped her from being promoted or even getting ANOTHER job at a Fortune 500 company.
It's all about your attitude, confidence and your drive. It's never about your hair, your skin color, your gender or your weight. Even when it seems like it is, it's really about the person making the judgment. Just push them aside and keep climbing the ladder baby.
Great post!
DreadlockedLady0171
New Member
The same doesn't happen now that you texlaxed? (the bolded)
LadyEuphoria007
New Member
Are you Army? I've got about 4.5 inches natural and we can wear headbands they just have to be either the color of your hair or black. I"m AF though and I know we all have different regs. Locs are not authorized for AF and yes they will make you cut them off or change your style.
I fluff my hair all the time. I keep a lil fingertip sprayer in my cargo pocket too. When I did the BC I got looks but they know damn well there was nothing they could say. The same goes for color...I hate how cindy can wear 35 different shades of blonde and brown but let me go a simple honey blonde and I get the "is that in regs" comment and from me they get the kiss my ass look.
Monieluv is right. Its a struggle with the "regs" and a black woman's hair as long as you are in regs screw what Sgt Dumbass thinks.
I hope you like your new do though, it sounds like it's pretty!
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