I GAVE IN

[lilsparkle825]

i really hope you like it. i wanna see pics!



and i hope that wasn't the only reason you relaxed your hair, just because of your job. i mean, i hope it was a personal thing too, like you just wanted to. i have heard a few people say "it was too hard for me to deal with" or "i dont have a whole day every week to devote to my hair". a lot of people on this board would get on said person's case about that too but they are not living her life to know...but i digress. so if that was another concern then i hope you find your hair more manageable now. i hope it is also more (opposite of unkempt).

 

[Southern Belle]

Monie, I kinda understand where you're coming from.

Are you a GS? Or active duty? Sometimes people that work in the private sector don't really understand working somewhere that requires them to quash the "real" them.

I remember when I first came in the military trying to explain to my mom what a "recall" was. She was like "they call you in at 3 a.m. and you GO?!?!?"

I understand where you're coming from. It's not about what *you* personally think looks kempt - it goes a little deeper than that. The unspoken. Being seen as a "non-conformist" could be costly (be it overtly or covertly).

Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not like you're working at Kinko's (shout out to Kinko's!) - it's your career. One which will reward you handsomely if you see it through. That's what I tell myself everyday when I put on that uniform.

Soooo, let's go about finding you a good moisturizer......

 

[monieluv]

Are you Army? I've got about 4.5 inches natural and we can wear headbands they just have to be either the color of your hair or black. I"m AF though and I know we all have different regs. Locs are not authorized for AF and yes they will make you cut them off or change your style.

I fluff my hair all the time. I keep a lil fingertip sprayer in my cargo pocket too. When I did the BC I got looks but they know damn well there was nothing they could say. The same goes for color...I hate how cindy can wear 35 different shades of blonde and brown but let me go a simple honey blonde and I get the "is that in regs" comment and from me they get the kiss my ass look.

Monieluv is right. Its a struggle with the "regs" and a black woman's hair as long as you are in regs screw what Sgt Dumbass thinks.

I hope you like your new do though, it sounds like it's pretty!

thank you for your words. i have a decade to go then i can hang this up. i'm trying to post my pics but having trouble. keep saying that my pics are too big.

 

[Candycane044]

Personally, I have never struggled with accepting or liking my hair, so it's not something that we all go through.

OP - I'm glad that you found something that works for you and pleases you, that's all that matters.




ALSO, when I hear people say that "some" natural hair can look unkempt, it just makes me .

If Sally Sue did the same exact thing with her hair that you did, she would be "kempt" ? (I know it's not a word.) Why? Because her hair is straight? Or Wavy? My bestie has a short fro that she plays with all the time, she even wears headwraps to work and this year she made GS13.

The "looks" people give you, shouldn't make you feel self-conscious. Ever. Hold your chin up, because trust me, no matter what you do, how you look or what you wear, someone will ALWAYS be looking at you cross-eyed trying to figure you out.

-Signed,

The nappy haired preacher that's been working in corporate America in Washington DC with her nappy-*** afro puff, neon nails, business suits, bright makeup since 2002 and has never stopped her from being promoted or even getting ANOTHER job at a Fortune 500 company.


It's all about your attitude, confidence and your drive. It's never about your hair, your skin color, your gender or your weight. Even when it seems like it is, it's really about the person making the judgment. Just push them aside and keep climbing the ladder baby.

Wow this was very well put!! Cosigning!

 

[monieluv]

Monie, I kinda understand where you're coming from.

Are you a GS? Or active duty? Sometimes people that work in the private sector don't really understand working somewhere that requires them to quash the "real" them.

I remember when I first came in the military trying to explain to my mom what a "recall" was. She was like "they call you in at 3 a.m. and you GO?!?!?"

I understand where you're coming from. It's not about what *you* personally think looks kempt - it goes a little deeper than that. The unspoken. Being seen as a "non-conformist" could be costly (be it overtly or covertly).

Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not like you're working at Kinko's (shout out to Kinko's!) - it's your career. One which will reward you handsomely if you see it through. That's what I tell myself everyday when I put on that uniform.

Soooo, let's go about finding you a good moisturizer......

i know right. it's bad enough going through the kind of things we go thru in the name of beauty. now we have to readjust for the sake of our career.

could you please? i've tried everything under the sun. and this hard water is doing a number on my poor hair.

 

[Ivonnovi]

The text below is from (Army Regulation) AR 670-1. Headbands are authorized. BUT if you choose to wear it you wanna laminate and carry this page (page 5) around with you to shut the hairhounds down! from....Paragraph 1–8a(3)(d)

Soldiers will not place hairholding devices in the hair for decorative purposes. All hair-holding devices must be plain and of a color as close to the soldier’s hair as is possible or clear. Authorized devices include, but are not limited to, small, plain scrunchies (elastic hair bands covered with material), barrettes, combs, pins, clips, rubber bands, and hair bands. Devices that are conspicuous, excessive, or decorative are prohibited.​

Now as for the other services .....I'm not familiar with their policies. I do hope this helps!

this is my situation. plus, is sticks out the head gear leaving a ring everytime i take it off. have to pull and fluff. if i could wear a headband, then this wouldn't be an issue. it's a sad situation, but i chose this career. i have to conform. but thanks for all the support and input.

 

[Southernbella.]

Monieluv, good luck with everything! Maybe you can go back to natural at a later time.

You know, it's threads like these that make it abundantly clear that it's not "just hair" like so many people love to shout. This is why naturals need support.

 

[Southern Belle]

i know right. it's bad enough going through the kind of things we go thru in the name of beauty. now we have to readjust for the sake of our career.

could you please? i've tried everything under the sun. and this hard water is doing a number on my poor hair.

My regimen for the past 3 months or so has been cowash at night (with V05), apply leave-in (Cantu Shea Butter), BT, a dime-sized amount of QP Mango Butter, seal the ends w/ JBCO, and put it in one plait and tie it down with a scarf. In the morning I wrap the plait around a couple times to make a ball, secure it (with a tiny claw clip or an elastic scrunchy) and I'm out!

At night when I shower, I undo the plait, and do it all over again.

I'm "neatly groomed" every day, but I haven't looked fly in a loooong time. I just try and keep my eye on the ball. I'm getting good growth and retaining all my length, so for the forseeable future I'm going to stick with it.