THE DESTRUCTION OF RELAXERS

[Irresistible]

Don't bother trying lols, dont know whats going on here or whats gone on in the past but this is an clear ambush

pathetically so!

 

[SqrpioQutie]

See shyt like this I just dont get

there's nothing to get....

a comment pure and simple, nothing veiled...

what i don't get is how when you bring other examples to the table, giving additional viewpoints to those originally stated in a thread, how all of a sudden people want to get completely defensive and go on the run rather than acknowledging that maybe what they're saying isn't as one sided as they've presented it...

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Don't bother trying lols, dont know whats going on here or whats gone on in the past but this is an clear ambush

only if an ambush is defined as people offering differing viewpoints and not believing that someone else's viewpoint is absolute...

 

[Irresistible]

dang ya''ll can really get tripped out over relaxers!

I just really couldnt have seen it coming

since the video was about damage to childrens hair and scalps

YOU WOULD THINK YA'LL WOULDNT WANT TO SEE A CHILD'S HEAD LOOK LIKE THAT

but instead the thread turned to defending relaxers and whatever other mumbo jumbo

ya'll really do be about your business when it comes to relaxers though

go on with your bad selves!

your even desensitized to children suffering from the chemicals. now that takes the cake to me!

I never said it always happened or even always had to happen but the video shows IT IS happening, along with that Mother's post!

 

[Irresistible]

there's nothing to get....

a comment pure and simple, nothing veiled...

what i don't get is how when you bring other examples to the table, giving additional viewpoints to those originally stated in a thread, how all of a sudden people want to get completely defensive and go on the run rather than acknowledging that maybe what they're saying isn't as one sided as they've presented it...

all i did was present the video, not my view point but a video with pictures

whats to run from. I DIDNT MAKE THE VIDEO

 

[Irresistible]

only if an ambush is defined as people offering differing viewpoints and not believing that someone else's viewpoint is absolute...

It wasnt about a person's viewpoint it was about a video with pictures of children with actual damage from relaxers! the video in itself is absolute! the questions asked that cant be answered since I DIDNT make the video dont make me responsible for that viewpoint

I HAPPEN TO FIND THE VIDEO SAD

whoever got up in arms about it, took a whole other viewpoint from the giddy up

 

[Tarae]

dang ya''ll can really get tripped out over relaxers!

I just really couldnt have seen it coming

since the video was about damage to childrens hair and scalps

YOU WOULD THINK YA'LL WOULDNT WANT TO SEE A CHILD'S HEAD LOOK LIKE THAT

but instead the thread turned to defending relaxers and whatever other mumbo jumbo

ya'll really do be about your business when it comes to relaxers though

go on with your bad selves!

your even desensitized to children suffering from the chemicals. now that takes the cake to me!

I never said it always happened or even always had to happen but the video shows IT IS happening, along with that Mother's post!

I'm pretty sure nobody wants to see anybody's head look like that, child or not. I think the problem some people had with the posting of this video is that it was posted before and when things like this are posted, it comes off as relaxer-bashing, rather than informative.

As others have said, we all know the potential dangers of relaxers. And when others posted that those dangers are heightened when not using a relaxer correctly they were "bashed" for that also, basically comparing it to smoking or obesity.

I don't think your intentions were to bash relaxers or those who use them, but because of recent threads and videos, it's just getting a bit out of hand, which changed the direction of the thread.

 

[Southernbella.]

there's nothing to get....

a comment pure and simple, nothing veiled...

what i don't get is how when you bring other examples to the table, giving additional viewpoints to those originally stated in a thread, how all of a sudden people want to get completely defensive and go on the run rather than acknowledging that maybe what they're saying isn't as one sided as they've presented it...

I might be wrong, but I didn't take the OP to mean that nobody else straightens their hair. I thought she was saying only our children are put through so much and suffer so much damage from it. I don't want to believe it either, but when so many of our young girls are running around with no edges and a pound of weave...the evidence speaks for itself.

I had healthy relaxed hair, so I know it an be done. Maybe it's harder to care for relaxed hair on a child...I don't know. But I do know that the vast majority of the little girls I know with relaxers, including my nieces, have a lot less hair now than they did when they were natural.

So what's the answer?

I don't think the OP was judging women on this board for what they are doing with their hair.

Disclaimer: I didn't see the video, so I don't know how bad it was.

 

[Irresistible]

I'm pretty sure nobody wants to see anybody's head look like that, child or not. I think the problem some people had with the posting of this video is that it was posted before and when things like this are posted, it comes off as relaxer-bashing, rather than informative.

As others have said, we all know the potential dangers of relaxers. And when others posted that those dangers are heightened when not using a relaxer correctly they were "bashed" for that also, basically comparing it to smoking or obesity.

I don't think your intentions were to bash relaxers or those who use them, but because of recent threads and videos, it's just getting a bit out of hand, which changed the direction of the thread.

I said early in the thread that I didnt know it had been posted, as I AM not around here much! and no nobody would want to see anyone's hair/scalp look like that, but I have a special soft spot for children since they aint grown and probably didnt have any say so about what was done to their hair

I WAS NOT RELAXER BASHING, BUT I AM BASHING PUTTING IT IN CHILDRENS HAIR! REALLY I AM MORE BASHING THE DAMAGE IT CAUSED IN THE VIDEO. KINDA BROKE MY HEART. I PROBABLY WOULD FEEL NOTHING SEEING A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY CHILD'S HAIR THAT WAS RELAXED. AND I COULD ONLY PRAY IT WOULD STAY THAT WAY, IT WAS ABOUT THAT HORRIBLE DAMAGE, HORRIFIC TO SAY THE LEAST , NOTHING MORE,NOTHING LESS!

 

[hopeful]

Hi Iris, I am so glad that you are back and posting, I always miss you when you are gone. I don't post often anymore, mostly lurk. But just wanted to say that the board has changed a bit over the years. It used to be more relaxed vs. natural. I have noticed that everybody is just tired. I think naturals are tired of being judged and told they need a relaxer by "some" people, told their hair isn't curly enough, etc. And relaxed ladies are tired of being told they are trying to be white and a host of other things. Overall, I think the feeling is "live and let live."

Most of the ladies around here do not promote or agree with relaxing little girls hair, but on the other hand most don't want to preach to anybody because on this board I think most of the ladies trust that if someone does use chemicals on their daughter's hair they will be very careful and use the knowledge they have gained from here. I just think the video is the problem, not that it isn't telling the truth, but the fact that it is so one-sided, why not also show a little girl with lovely, long, texturized hair and show what her mother does to keep it that way. Show the mother keeping the relaxer off her scalp, show the mother moisturizing with s-curl. Show the mother not using heat, etc. The video is just way too preachy, one-sided and a little disturbing.

Because you posted the video, people are seeing you as preaching to them and they just don't appreciate it. We have had threads where people "pretend" to be posting about one thing but really just want to preach to people about the joy of being natural and the ignorance of relaxing. Most of the ladies around here don't know you like I do. I know you are not preachy and just enjoy sharing information and your experience.

Please keep posting Iris, I love your posts and I especially love updates with pics of your beautiful, healthy, thick, natural hair.

 

[Irresistible]

I might be wrong, but I didn't take the OP to mean that nobody else straightens their hair. I thought she was saying only our children are put through so much and suffer so much damage from it. I don't want to believe it either, but when so many of our young girls are running around with no edges and a pound of weave...the evidence speaks for itself.

I had healthy relaxed hair, so I know it an be done. Maybe it's harder to care for relaxed hair on a child...I don't know. But I do know that the vast majority of the little girls I know with relaxers, including my nieces, have a lot less hair now than they did when they were natural.

So what's the answer?

I don't think the OP was judging women on this board for what they are doing with their hair.

Disclaimer: I didn't see the video, so I don't know how bad it was.

You read me right!!!!

watch the video! The whole point is about Children and what relaxers had done!

 

[SqrpioQutie]

all i did was present the video, not my view point but a video with pictures

whats to run from. I DIDNT MAKE THE VIDEO

your viewpoint that i replied to:

I am voicing my opinion about it being the truth that its a trauma that no other race of child has had to suffer and I find it sad

followed by my post of interesting reading regarding jewish children/teens/women and chemical straightening.... followed by your assertion that you've never seen jewish people suffer the same damage.... after which i alluded to people utilizing better after chemical haircare practices.... which then was curiously followed a couple of posts later (whether directed toward me or not) by

LOLOL

So the video has no validity even though it IS our race that is highly pressured from a young age to straighten our hair and even though the pictures showed the damage?

well youtube be damned them

and me be damned for posting it

the whole point is twisted and discombobulated now anyway

so whatever

*dead thread*

perhaps the focus should be on healthy hair care practices period and not just on the "evil chemicals"... for all children....

 

[Irresistible]

Hi Iris, I am so glad that you are back and posting, I always miss you when you are gone. I don't post often anymore, mostly lurk. But just wanted to say that the board has changed a bit over the years. It used to be more relaxed vs. natural. I have noticed that everybody is just tired. I think naturals are tired of being judged and told they need a relaxer by "some" people, told their hair isn't curly enough, etc. And relaxed ladies are tired of being told they are trying to be white and a host of other things. Overall, I think the feeling is "live and let live."

Most of the ladies around here do not promote or agree with relaxing little girls hair, but on the other hand most don't want to preach to anybody because on this board I think most of the ladies trust that if someone does use chemicals on their daughter's hair they will be very careful and use the knowledge they have gained from here. I just think the video is the problem, not that it isn't telling the truth, but the fact that it is so one-sided, why not also show a little girl with lovely, long, texturized hair and show what her mother does to keep it that way. Show the mother keeping the relaxer off her scalp, show the mother moisturizing with s-curl. Show the mother not using heat, etc. The video is just way too preachy, one-sided and a little disturbing.

Because you posted the video, people are seeing you as preaching to them and they just don't appreciate it. We have had threads where people "pretend" to be posting about one thing but really just want to preach to people about the joy of being natural and the ignorance of relaxing. Most of the ladies around here don't know you like I do. I know you are not preachy and just enjoy sharing information and your experience.

Please keep posting Iris, I love your posts and I especially love updates with pics of your beautiful, healthy, thick, natural hair.

hey girl!

yeah its changed but still more of the same! I dunno I just hated seeing the damage so I posted it! sheeit my daughter is transitioning right now, my neices 'whose hair I have featured here' down to their backs one is relaxed' so yeah I GET that people dont know me! But its also jumping to alot of guns. Damn! It was just posting about the damage it can cause and yes we all know 'all us hair gurus' it CAN!

So I hear you girl there was no way to win in this , when my intentions were just to express my sadness at such a thing, people took it how they took it.


love ya love ya love ya! hugs hugs hugs!

you know I'm gonna go back into lurkdom or gonedom soon too

smooches. I MISS U!

yeah and far be it for ME to be preachin! but your right they wasnt knowing! I'm through

 

[SqrpioQutie]

It wasnt about a person's viewpoint it was about a video with pictures of children with actual damage from relaxers! the video in itself is absolute! the questions asked that cant be answered since I DIDNT make the video dont make me responsible for that viewpoint

I HAPPEN TO FIND THE VIDEO SAD

whoever got up in arms about it, took a whole other viewpoint from the giddy up

as far as our exchange within this thread, the video is not a factor - any exchange that i've had with you is a result of what i took as your assertion that this is a "black thing"....

further, the video may very well be sad... but it is far from absolute.. there is a lot of information that goes unmentioned regarding each of the victims situations regarding haircare, which leaves this video as only a piece of their story... so again, no, it's not absolute..

i'd say it's more of a scare tactic...

 

[hopeful]

hey girl!

yeah its changed but still more of the same! I dunno I just hated seeing the damage so I posted it! sheeit my daughter is transitioning right now, my neices 'whose hair I have featured here' down to their backs one is relaxed' so yeah I GET that people dont know me! But its also jumping to alot of guns. Damn! It was just posting about the damage it can cause and yes we all know 'all us hair gurus' it CAN!

So I hear you girl there was no way to win in this , when my intentions were just to express my sadness at such a thing, people took it how they took it.


love ya love ya love ya! hugs hugs hugs!

you know I'm gonna go back into lurkdom or gonedom soon too

smooches. I MISS U!

yeah and far be it for ME to be preachin! but your right they wasnt knowing! I'm through

Love you too sweetie and sending you lots of hugs. I know you'll go back to lurkdom but I also know you will be back too.

 

[Irresistible]

your viewpoint that i replied to:


followed by my post of interesting reading regarding jewish children/teens/women and chemical straightening.... followed by your assertion that you've never seen jewish people suffer the same damage.... after which i alluded to people utilizing better after chemical haircare practices.... which then was curiously followed a couple of posts later (whether directed toward me or not) by



perhaps the focus should be on healthy hair care practices period and not just on the "evil chemicals"... for all children....

and why is it such and evil offense to post the other side of the coin, I mean I WOULDNT be mad if people posted some things that caused natural hair to be jacked up and the pics or if someone posted a video of healthy relaxed hair on a child or otherwise

so why should any side of the truth be hard to swallow? or be so quickly assumed that the poster must be up to some evil intentions to down relaxers as a whole

as hopeful explained to me (and I remember how silly this stuff got before) that others have had agendas but alas, I DID NOT HAVE SOME DEEPER MESSAGE OR HIDDEN AGENDA

i just found the video touching and sad

 

[SqrpioQutie]

I might be wrong, but I didn't take the OP to mean that nobody else straightens their hair. I thought she was saying only our children are put through so much and suffer so much damage from it. I don't want to believe it either, but when so many of our young girls are running around with no edges and a pound of weave...the evidence speaks for itself.

I had healthy relaxed hair, so I know it an be done. Maybe it's harder to care for relaxed hair on a child...I don't know. But I do know that the vast majority of the little girls I know with relaxers, including my nieces, have a lot less hair now than they did when they were natural.

So what's the answer?

I don't think the OP was judging women on this board for what they are doing with their hair.

Disclaimer: I didn't see the video, so I don't know how bad it was.

but see, that's just the thing.... there are others who go through similar chemical processes, and i'm sure that many suffer similar effects as our children... maybe it's not as easy to spot since we are more conditioned to notice what hits closer to home... but that doesn't mean that chemical damage is reserved only for our kids...

as far as an answer, i couldn't begin to tell you... until people learn to take better care of their hair, with or without chemicals, the cycle will continue...

 

[hopeful]

as far as our exchange within this thread, the video is not a factor - any exchange that i've had with you is a result of what i took as your assertion that this is a "black thing"....

further, the video may very well be sad... but it is far from absolute.. there is a lot of information that goes unmentioned regarding each of the victims situations regarding haircare, which leaves this video as only a piece of their story... so again, no, it's not absolute..

i'd say it's more of a scare tactic...

ITA with you, the video came across as a scare tactic (excellent description) which instead of making us sad made some of us resistant. The video was very sad but it was also manipulative.

 

[Irresistible]

as far as our exchange within this thread, the video is not a factor - any exchange that i've had with you is a result of what i took as your assertion that this is a "black thing"....

further, the video may very well be sad... but it is far from absolute.. there is a lot of information that goes unmentioned regarding each of the victims situations regarding haircare, which leaves this video as only a piece of their story... so again, no, it's not absolute..

i'd say it's more of a scare tactic...

well girl its our beautiful little black children/girls in the video, and the video does say no other race of children suffers such trauma and since I am not around other races much or their children I can basically strongly relate to that statment as truth!

 

[Irresistible]

ITA with you, the video came across as a scare tactic (excellent description) which instead of making us sad made some of us resistant. The video was very sad but it was also manipulative.

I just didnt see that way whatsoever and I apologize if it is really coming off that way to others!

 

[SqrpioQutie]

and why is it such and evil offense to post the other side of the coin, I mean I WOULDNT be mad if people posted some things that caused natural hair to be jacked up and the pics or if someone posted a video of healthy relaxed hair on a child or otherwise

so why should any side of the truth be hard to swallow? or be so quickly assumed that the poster must be up to some evil intentions to down relaxers as a whole

as hopeful explained to me (and I remember how silly this stuff got before) that others have had agendas but alas, I DID NOT HAVE SOME DEEPER MESSAGE OR HIDDEN AGENDA

i just found the video touching and sad

i'm not saying that you have a deeper message or hidden agenda... as i said before, my exchange with you was not based off of the video...

but, the "evil offense" lachen, imo, is presenting something that isn't complete and proclaiming it the truth... bits and pieces of the after, without seeing the before.... not knowing the who what when where how and why of a situation, but it's still the "truth"...

i would say the same thing if information regarding non chemically treated hair and the damaging effects of xyz on it and how it's evil were presented... if all of the support isn't there it's, again, a scare tactic in my book...

and, for the record, i'm an advocate of not relaxing kids' hair...

 

[SqrpioQutie]

well girl its our beautiful little black children/girls in the video, and the video does say no other race of children suffers such trauma and since I am not around other races much or their children I can basically strongly relate to that statment as truth!

i can understand how it got you in the heartstrings and all... i would just caution that you keep and open mind and truly "study" (for lack of a better word) what you see and hear, to make sure that the info is complete....

it was designed to capture you emotionally....

 

[SqrpioQutie]

ITA with you, the video came across as a scare tactic (excellent description) which instead of making us sad made some of us resistant. The video was very sad but it was also manipulative.

yep...

 

[Neith]

No one said that they didn't feel bad for this little girl. No one said that this doesn't happen to many little girls.

The vast majority of relaxed ladies would NEVER put a relaxer on a child.

The big problem is that it became a natural vs relaxed issue.

People have said that relaxed women don't want to hear the truth.

The truth is even if some women want to relax their children's hair, if the hair is cared for PROPERLY, it's not that big of an issue. It's not the relaxer that's evil.

Do you really think that the child would be much better off even if she was natural? It is easy to see that her guardians don't know how to take care of hair PERIOD.

I say this again... it all boils down to learning how to care for nappy hair period, natural or relaxed.

Of course people are going to get offended if naturals seem like they are trying to:

1) Imply that natural hair is somehow better than relaxed hair (An IDIOTIC way to feel imo... it's just hair)

2) Pressure people to become natural

3) Undermine or underestimate the ability of INFORMED people to make their own decisions.

I'm not saying that any one person did all of this, but the vibe is definitely in this thread.

This is not one of those "pro natural, relaxer bashing" boards. I feel it's important for everyone to be able to be comfortable here and learn and share with each other regardless of how we choose to style our hair.

 

[sunshinelady]

I'm confused. Doesn't Willie Morrow make relaxers too? Doesn't he have a few relaxers?

There's the red and white one and the Ocean relaxer that is supposed to be like Phyto.

 

[MrsQueeny]

But everything can be paralleled with and compared to obesity

Cuz that's all some folks got. Seriously I'm not fat, yeah but your attitude sucks. I'm not fat, yeah but you crazy as heck... I can go on and on. I look at folks like that IRL like :crazy: Shoot we all got issues, being thin doesn't make them go away. But back on topic, I just say do you. Q

 

[DivaD04]

sunshinelady...phyto, i know right
i would post my $0.2 but I can't afford that much change, so here's a link to DR. Willie Morrow. All I got to say is go straight to his products...I have NEVER used his products except the blowdry comb...I LOVE it, but since this thread is about the damage a relaxer can have on ANYONE who uses them w/o the proper care, knowledge and handling....So, Dr. Morrow says no to relaxers?

http://www.californiacurl.com/

Irres...I'm sad to know ur going in lurk mode b/c of difference of opinion. I think its sad that we can't agree to disagree.

 

[Irresistible]

I'm confused. Doesn't Willie Morrow make relaxers too? Doesn't he have a few relaxers?

There's the red and white one and the Ocean relaxer that is supposed to be like Phyto.

LMAO

WELL I'LL BE A HORSES M^THA F&KN UNCLE!

AINT THAT A ******????

 

[Irresistible]

sunshinelady...phyto, i know right
i would post my $0.2 but I can't afford that much change, so here's a link to DR. Willie Morrow. All I got to say is go straight to his products...I have NEVER used his products except the blowdry comb...I LOVE it, but since this thread is about the damage a relaxer can have on ANYONE who uses them w/o the proper care, knowledge and handling....So, Dr. Morrow says no to relaxers?

http://www.californiacurl.com/

Irres...I'm sad to know ur going in lurk mode b/c of difference of opinion. I think its sad that we can't agree to disagree.

Nah girl I always take long breaks from the hair board/groups/fotki. I just happened to stick around a little longer than usual this time! what a ride!

lol

I'm cool with this thread now, at first I just didnt get it, when a few special people broke it all down to me then I understood how it was being percieved!

Thank you to the people who did that for me and were already giving me the benefit of the doubt! those that know me and those that didnt! Thank you!

 

[Irresistible]

sunshinelady...phyto, i know right
i would post my $0.2 but I can't afford that much change, so here's a link to DR. Willie Morrow. All I got to say is go straight to his products...I have NEVER used his products except the blowdry comb...I LOVE it, but since this thread is about the damage a relaxer can have on ANYONE who uses them w/o the proper care, knowledge and handling....So, Dr. Morrow says no to relaxers?

http://www.californiacurl.com/

Irres...I'm sad to know ur going in lurk mode b/c of difference of opinion. I think its sad that we can't agree to disagree.

ok now I'm totally pissed at the hypocrite he is!

no lye relaxers! This mutha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!