THE DESTRUCTION OF RELAXERS

[SheenaVee]

no i didnt say YOU were militant i said the thread and SOME of its implications. And yh of course its not good to see little kids with messed up relaxed hair but...you know that some of the ladies in here have children with relaxed hair so it could be offensive to them. Anyway I wasnt jumping down your throat just adding my input. I love your hair btw.

 

[1QTPie]

Everyone on this board knows the pros and cons of relaxers and the potential dangers.

I've been natural and I'm transitioning again, but I do not blame relaxers alone for the problems that women and girls face.

I wish the black community was more knowledgeable about proper hair care. I truly wonder why people don't do a little research about how to care for their hair. One little trip to the library or one little google search will give you what to need to make a basic regimen.

Look at how many cosmetologists go to school and STILL don't know how to properly care for our hair.

It's as with anything from hair to black history, you have to really really want to know.

 

[Irresistible]

no i didnt say YOU were militant i said the thread and SOME of its implications. And yh of course its not good to see little kids with messed up relaxed hair but...you know that some of the ladies in here have children with relaxed hair so it could be offensive to them.

i dunno , they would have to realize that there could be damage later right? I mean I know if my sister fo a fact saw any damage even starting with my neice she would correct that quick fast and in a hurry and not continue whatever caused the issue. So as long as their lil one's hair is doing good, whats to be offended about?

I guess I can see how the video is insinuating that this is the ONLY result of relaxers, But most of us know better, but we know it can be a result! depending on many factors

I DIDNT post it to be offesive to anyone! I dont necessarily myself agree with relaxing a child's hair, but really wouldnt care if its doing well and there is no damage! its a risk like anything, the same with pressing, i would hate to see a lil natural girl with fried hair and thinned hair and thinned edges or from braids or anything.

basically I just was thinking along the lines, of take care of our babies hair they are suffering a trauma no other race suffers, but it went further than just chemicals to me!

you saw that post I posted from that mother? baby is 8 years old! you know I TOOK care of my daughter's natural hair and taught her every miniscule detail of taking care of her natural hair till she was 16??!!

then she went and relaxed *sucks teeth* she is hard headed, but you know what I saved her hair, and all that good teaching stuck with her and she hated her hair relaxed and thinning and never wanted to do that again! now her and I nah Relaxers aint never gonna work for our hair, we just have hair that is too fragile or something!

so again, it was 'for me' just about our children! thats it!

 

[Afro-Indi]

Wow @ 16 pages of replies in 1 day.

I saw this on NP.
Nothing to add, sorry.
Now to go back and try to read through all these pages.......

 

[Afro-Indi]

Girl I dunno I just saw the video and posted it. I agree more info should be included! But I agree with one main point of the video mostly and that its a trauma suffered by no other race of children!

now me just with professional applications and done correctly I still got burns and sores ,and feel very lucky that I got out of that cycle with no major damage to my scalp like in that video

The bolded speaks VOLUMES and goes much, much deeper than relaxers.

 

[DivaD04]

Heehee, you have officially been Barack Obama-ed. Held guilty by association.

Dang I go to sleep and missed all the thread drama....So Irres get's BO'd, damn this thread is viscious! I thought all the comotion was settled and if anyonw was to this thread they'll see Irres was not trying to come off as an offender.

Irres,
Sometimes the (TITLE) alone can be offensive or hit home to some folks....It's almost like you have to carefully choose your words....*rolling my eyes* while saying, "yeah right, I'm grown"! As if you were the student and anyone who reads this is your professor grading your mid term(thread). I guess I'm one of your friends in class cuz I took this thread as a careless possible outcome from relaxers and the person who didnt know what the he// they were doing. From the title onto the actual video, I was like, yup, I know some folks will have your hair like that, but for me personally being a relaxed head for 20yrs, that ish never happened to me. Going natural was a personal decision not because I was left with oozing bald patches from somebody's kit...
Other than that good post, just remember u can't plz every1, ur post may faze 1 but not the other. arguing about it it's like! No one wins until one let's it go and take it for what it's worth.

 

[Irresistible]

no i didnt say YOU were militant i said the thread and SOME of its implications. And yh of course its not good to see little kids with messed up relaxed hair but...you know that some of the ladies in here have children with relaxed hair so it could be offensive to them. Anyway I wasnt jumping down your throat just adding my input. I love your hair btw.

oh I didnt see the last part of your post! *Sorry about that* I'm not ungracious either, so I thank you for the compliment girl! *smiles*

 

[Irresistible]

Dang I go to sleep and missed all the thread drama....So Irres get's BO'd, damn this thread is viscious! I thought all the comotion was settled and if anyonw was to this thread they'll see Irres was not trying to come off as an offender.

Irres,
Sometimes the (TITLE) alone can be offensive or hit home to some folks....It's almost like you have to carefully choose your words....*rolling my eyes* while saying, "yeah right, I'm grown"! As if you were the student and anyone who reads this is your professor grading your mid term(thread). I guess I'm one of your friends in class cuz I took this thread as a careless possible outcome from relaxers and the person who didnt know what the he// they were doing. From the title onto the actual video, I was like, yup, I know some folks will have your hair like that, but for me personally being a relaxed head for 20yrs, that ish never happened to me. Going natural was a personal decision not because I was left with oozing bald patches from somebody's kit...
Other than that good post, just remember u can't plz every1, ur post may faze 1 but not the other. arguing about it it's like! No one wins until one let's it go and take it for what it's worth.

yeah girl I see you got to mind your P'S AND Q'S around this joint, I've lost my hair board touch! but dizammmmmm I really never thought it would have taken the direction it did tho!

thanks 4 havin my back! whew that went so far to the left I was like huh?

 

[Irresistible]

The bolded speaks VOLUMES and goes much, much deeper than relaxers.

& Gurrrrl that was the whole main point of the thread!

it is what it is!

 

[sunshinelady]

rotfl! yeah!

Don't worry about it. Read->Digest->Respond, not the other way around. Willie Morrow is a nut and has made a living by convincing Blacks that their hair wasn't beautiful by itself. Relaxers are the same thing as Nair and that alone makes me want to keep it away from children's developing brains.

I always thought the rule was that children's hair shouldn't be relaxed until at least 13, when their hair follicles are fully formed. I figure, by that time, half of them wouldn't want it relaxed anyway.

 

[Irresistible]

Don't worry about it. Read->Digest->Respond, not the other way around. Willie Morrow is a nut and has made a living by convincing Blacks that their hair wasn't beautiful by itself. Relaxers are the same thing as Nair and that alone makes me want to keep it away from children's developing brains.

I always thought the rule was that children's hair shouldn't be relaxed until at least 13, when their hair follicles are fully formed. I figure, by that time, half of them wouldn't want it relaxed anyway.

yeah my own hair dresser would not let his daughter get a relaxer for that reason, I remember him tellin me that many many moons ago, also about the follicles. and also something about before menses.

I think it makes alot of sense!


I even remember my hair dresser tellin me when I was on my period by how my hair acted . that was a trip! Because he was always right!

 

[Qualitee]

I feel bad for that litte girl, well she must be a women now. But I'm relaxed and I dont think if you have a relaxer in your head your hair has to look like that.<-( refering to the video) I see alot of women (not only black) with no edges & loads of weave on their head. But I dont think that we should shake our heads at them because they are just a Naïve as we were before we joined the site

 

[caribeandiva]

OH PLEASE!... His 'No Lye' relaxer: Keratin Hydroxide Relaxer fortified with Reformation Conditioner...WTF!

OK, like, I'm a qualified Scientist.
Ain't no thing on this earth called Keratin Hydroxide so what he's created a new element now... so misleading .
Maybe he means Ca(OH)2!

That's calcium dihydroxide. I agree with you because Keratin isn't an element. Does he think we're dumb or something?

 

[DivaD04]

fa sho Irres!

ya know what, a person can say don't eat that, its not good for you, if you eat it, it can kill you...because people can be so optimistic at times, their perspective will be, well susy ate it and she's doing fine so why can't I? I'm going to try it.
We know the saying, what works for one may not work for another. I think relaxing and being natural is such a debate.
People are always going to be people and no matter what a person or a group of persons say, your going to do what you want, not matter what the outcome is b/c ur 'grown' and the kids, well, they better sit their quietly or get popped upside the head with that big red comb.... damn, I just had a flashback living on 12th St. Jefferson

 

[DivaD04]

That's calcium dihydroxide. I agree with you because Keratin isn't an element. Does he think we're dumb or something?

Cari...I guess he thinks the average black american either skipped school or failed chemistry....not I BUABY!

 

[caribeandiva]

I personally am lost at where this thread went or even why!

lmao

wow!

Iris, are you serious? You've been on this board long enough to know which threads are gonna downhill and fast. I'm not attacking you or putting you down. Most threads with about how damaging relaxers are will go there everytime.

 

[Irresistible]

Iris, are you serious? You've been on this board long enough to know which threads are gonna downhill and fast. I'm not attacking you or putting you down. Most threads with about how damaging relaxers are will go there everytime.

Nah girl I aint playin! I was blind sided! I was talkin about the babies! not the grown folks!

I really didnt see it comin!

kumbaya my Lord!

 

[Irresistible]

AND TO THINK.....This thread was posted by the same chick that wrote this years ago!

To my natural sistah's (from your relaxed sistah)

So, you think im tryin to conform? when for all ive ever known is
this to be the norm. you say im trying to be something that im not, when my
hair will never make who i am whether it's straight, kinky, or bought , you
cut your eyes at me ova my 'do when you were once in the very same shoes. so i
apply this creamy stuff to make my hair straight, but you act is if your
kinks gave you a pass through heaven's gate? why do you put me up under this kind of pressure? and act as though because you now have naps you are now up
to measure? you say you are so enlightened, but it seems to me as though
you just might be somewhat frightened. are you scared you will face the
temptation to straighten out the kinks again? do you project that fear unto me
distorted and full of disdain? i wish i could show you that just because my
hair is straight doesnt mean i cant relate to your pain. you say my ignorance
runs deep, as though just because my hair is straight i must have no sense, my sistah have you forgotten when you were on this side of the fence? you look
your nose down on me now that you have naps growing freely from your head, when really you should be concerned about the kinks in your heart instead.

To my relaxed sistah's (from your natural sistah)

So you say you can relate to my pain? no i dont think you can, not
till you have worn an all natural mane. you see, there is no pain like this,
when your very own people ignorantly diss what our hair really is. yes i feel
enlightened and free to be me, and yes , maybe i am a little
frightened of what my nappy experience will be. you see, i feel the pressure every single day , to once again make my hair lay down, i just dont want to give in and lose this freedom that i have found. no my naps wont give me ticket through heavens gate, but i have a new love for what God made me instead of living with self hate. I no longer damage and abuse the hair God gave me just to fit in, im no longer in bondage to white people's greatest sin. The promotion of self hate within us to oppress and degrade us, as though
we are not acceptable the way the creator made us. I may come off as though i
think im better than you, but my sistah that is so not true, it's about so
much more than just your 'do. Maybe i dont say it right, but really we are
all in the same fight and all i want is to share my insight. your acting as
though your so righteous because you feel slighted, maybe you as well are
somewhat frightened. Why do my naps cause you distress? when you have the same thing coming from your head under that chemical mess? you fit in with those you choose cause your hair looks like theirs, and turn your back on me
when im your real reflection, you can straighten your naps all you want to,
but its the kinks in your heart that need inspection.


To all sistah's (from God)

I count the hairs on all of my children's heads. My word does not say
"I count the hair on a relaxed head" nor does my word say " I only
count the hairs of a natural head" It is I that count the hair on my children's heads. Do not make it your job to count the hair on your sister's head! It is I that count them and it is I that formed them! YOU CANNOT ADD THEM, NOR SUBTRACT THEM, NOR MULTIPLY THEM , BUT YOU LET THEM DIVIDE YOU! i desire the peace, happiness and joy in the hearts of all my children and this strife amongst you saddens me greatly. for it is my purpose for you to unite and walk in love notdivision. I say unto you before you check your hair in the mirror to see whether it is perfectly straight or perfectly natural , i tell you to to check to see if your heart is perfectly straight AND natural before me first. and before you look at the condtion and state of the hair of your sister, I tell you to look at the condtion and state of your own heart first. for the hair on on your head and the head of you sister's is but a small matter in my sight.

Do not bother to straighten your hair to fit into this world or to be
accepted by it , while your heart is not straightened out and you dont accept
your very own sister in love...I say to you , you will surely then not fit in
with me, nor shall you be accepted by me, nor fullfill my purpose for you. what you call the path of least resistance, i call the path of fools, when you resist walking in love for others.

Do not bother to wear your hair natural and untainted with chemicals
as you have said in your heart "to be as i made you" and not walk in love
towards your very own sister , then i say to you, it is then that your heart
shall surely be tainted in my sight, and you will then surely not "be as i
made you" what you call the path of enlightenment i call the path of darkness, if you are not enlightened enough to walk in love for others.

I know the pain of all of your hearts and i know all the tears shed by
all of my children and all the pain inflicted on you and the division that
has been caused amongst you, surely i say unto you those people will be held
accoutable for every action and deed before me. but you will not be
able to come before me and say "Lord but my sister did not love me due to the
chemical or lack of a chemical in my hair, and Lord this is why did not walk in love towards her in return" for i tell you she will be held accountable for
herself and you will have your own accountability unto me.


Title:
We cant add, subtract or mulitply the hairs on our head, yet we let it
divide us

 

[Irresistible]

fa sho Irres!

ya know what, a person can say don't eat that, its not good for you, if you eat it, it can kill you...because people can be so optimistic at times, their perspective will be, well susy ate it and she's doing fine so why can't I? I'm going to try it.
We know the saying, what works for one may not work for another. I think relaxing and being natural is such a debate.
People are always going to be people and no matter what a person or a group of persons say, your going to do what you want, not matter what the outcome is b/c ur 'grown' and the kids, well, they better sit their quietly or get popped upside the head with that big red comb.... damn, I just had a flashback living on 12th St. Jefferson

LOL @ gettin popped with a comb , those were the days!

 

[vestaluv1]

bringing up a subject doesnt make one militant

well at least in my mind it dont!

your right they can do what they want to, but when somone's heart breaks over seeing a child suffer chemical damage thats militant?

I think sometimes people can also be over sensitive to this issue, because the same as most of us know there is damage, most of us know there is healthy thriving relaxed hair too

we've all seen both sides of the coin!

*I realise this will bump the thread so sorry to those who don't wanna see this come up again*
However, I just had to say to this comment!

 

[Irresistible]

*I realise this will bump the thread so sorry to those who don't wanna see this come up again*
However, I just had to say to this comment!

*SHE SMILES*

 

[DivaD04]

:waytogo: With God with the final Word, no one shouldn't have anything else to say. Hallelujah Yahweh, Praise God! AMEN!

AND TO THINK.....This thread was posted by the same chick that wrote this years ago!

To my natural sistah's (from your relaxed sistah)

So, you think im tryin to conform? when for all ive ever known is
this to be the norm. you say im trying to be something that im not, when my
hair will never make who i am whether it's straight, kinky, or bought , you
cut your eyes at me ova my 'do when you were once in the very same shoes. so i
apply this creamy stuff to make my hair straight, but you act is if your
kinks gave you a pass through heaven's gate? why do you put me up under this kind of pressure? and act as though because you now have naps you are now up
to measure? you say you are so enlightened, but it seems to me as though
you just might be somewhat frightened. are you scared you will face the
temptation to straighten out the kinks again? do you project that fear unto me
distorted and full of disdain? i wish i could show you that just because my
hair is straight doesnt mean i cant relate to your pain. you say my ignorance
runs deep, as though just because my hair is straight i must have no sense, my sistah have you forgotten when you were on this side of the fence? you look
your nose down on me now that you have naps growing freely from your head, when really you should be concerned about the kinks in your heart instead.

To my relaxed sistah's (from your natural sistah)

So you say you can relate to my pain? no i dont think you can, not
till you have worn an all natural mane. you see, there is no pain like this,
when your very own people ignorantly diss what our hair really is. yes i feel
enlightened and free to be me, and yes , maybe i am a little
frightened of what my nappy experience will be. you see, i feel the pressure every single day , to once again make my hair lay down, i just dont want to give in and lose this freedom that i have found. no my naps wont give me ticket through heavens gate, but i have a new love for what God made me instead of living with self hate. I no longer damage and abuse the hair God gave me just to fit in, im no longer in bondage to white people's greatest sin. The promotion of self hate within us to oppress and degrade us, as though
we are not acceptable the way the creator made us. I may come off as though i
think im better than you, but my sistah that is so not true, it's about so
much more than just your 'do. Maybe i dont say it right, but really we are
all in the same fight and all i want is to share my insight. your acting as
though your so righteous because you feel slighted, maybe you as well are
somewhat frightened. Why do my naps cause you distress? when you have the same thing coming from your head under that chemical mess? you fit in with those you choose cause your hair looks like theirs, and turn your back on me
when im your real reflection, you can straighten your naps all you want to,
but its the kinks in your heart that need inspection.


To all sistah's (from God)

I count the hairs on all of my children's heads. My word does not say
"I count the hair on a relaxed head" nor does my word say " I only
count the hairs of a natural head" It is I that count the hair on my children's heads. Do not make it your job to count the hair on your sister's head! It is I that count them and it is I that formed them! YOU CANNOT ADD THEM, NOR SUBTRACT THEM, NOR MULTIPLY THEM , BUT YOU LET THEM DIVIDE YOU! i desire the peace, happiness and joy in the hearts of all my children and this strife amongst you saddens me greatly. for it is my purpose for you to unite and walk in love notdivision. I say unto you before you check your hair in the mirror to see whether it is perfectly straight or perfectly natural , i tell you to to check to see if your heart is perfectly straight AND natural before me first. and before you look at the condtion and state of the hair of your sister, I tell you to look at the condtion and state of your own heart first. for the hair on on your head and the head of you sister's is but a small matter in my sight.

Do not bother to straighten your hair to fit into this world or to be
accepted by it , while your heart is not straightened out and you dont accept
your very own sister in love...I say to you , you will surely then not fit in
with me, nor shall you be accepted by me, nor fullfill my purpose for you. what you call the path of least resistance, i call the path of fools, when you resist walking in love for others.

Do not bother to wear your hair natural and untainted with chemicals
as you have said in your heart "to be as i made you" and not walk in love
towards your very own sister , then i say to you, it is then that your heart
shall surely be tainted in my sight, and you will then surely not "be as i
made you" what you call the path of enlightenment i call the path of darkness, if you are not enlightened enough to walk in love for others.

I know the pain of all of your hearts and i know all the tears shed by
all of my children and all the pain inflicted on you and the division that
has been caused amongst you, surely i say unto you those people will be held
accoutable for every action and deed before me. but you will not be
able to come before me and say "Lord but my sister did not love me due to the
chemical or lack of a chemical in my hair, and Lord this is why did not walk in love towards her in return" for i tell you she will be held accountable for
herself and you will have your own accountability unto me.


Title:
We cant add, subtract or mulitply the hairs on our head, yet we let it
divide us

 

[SleepyJean]

No one said that they didn't feel bad for this little girl. No one said that this doesn't happen to many little girls.

The vast majority of relaxed ladies would NEVER put a relaxer on a child.

The big problem is that it became a natural vs relaxed issue.

People have said that relaxed women don't want to hear the truth.

The truth is even if some women want to relax their children's hair, if the hair is cared for PROPERLY, it's not that big of an issue. It's not the relaxer that's evil.

Do you really think that the child would be much better off even if she was natural? It is easy to see that her guardians don't know how to take care of hair PERIOD.

I say this again... it all boils down to learning how to care for nappy hair period, natural or relaxed.

Of course people are going to get offended if naturals seem like they are trying to:

1) Imply that natural hair is somehow better than relaxed hair (An IDIOTIC way to feel imo... it's just hair)

2) Pressure people to become natural

3) Undermine or underestimate the ability of INFORMED people to make their own decisions.

I'm not saying that any one person did all of this, but the vibe is definitely in this thread.

This is not one of those "pro natural, relaxer bashing" boards. I feel it's important for everyone to be able to be comfortable here and learn and share with each other regardless of how we choose to style our hair.

IA with your entire post. It's so true. I hope this board never divides.

Naturals vs. Relaxed
​

That would be a silly disagreement. I don't think the OP meant any harm by her post. I just feel, like someone else has mentioned, that we have to be careful what we post when it comes to this topic. I don't want to see a natural forum and a relaxed forum, when we can all be together.​

Natural + Relaxed
​

I added the visual demonstrations for clarity. ​

 

[DivaD04]

Naturals vs. Relaxed
​

Natural + Relaxed
​

I added the visual demonstrations for clarity. ​

2 cute

 

[Allandra]

Nothing wrong with posting this information, but we are not here to bash anyone who gets relaxers.

 

[SparklingFlame]

Naturals vs. Relaxed




Natural + Relaxed
​

This is so cute!!

It should be an anthem or something.

 

[Irresistible]

Nothing wrong with posting this information, but we are not here to bash anyone who gets relaxers.

Allandra nobody got bashed , certainly not by me , or by others that I COULD see

I felt a lil banged up though *sportin my black eye now*

its alll good!