Take Care of Your Hair...and it will grow!!

[Cleve_gryl]

How do I tell my BFF this without hurting her feelings? Or say, your hair is jacked up because you refuse to take care of it? We joined the site together last February, and my hair has taken off. Her hair is still in the same place and broke off in the crown . She waits for me to read up and test products, then she'll go get them...but won't USE them. She hates to wash her hair.

What really burns me up is her DH bought her a Pibbs way before we knew what Pibbs was...that sucka gets no love in her house. Help me help her!!

 

[locabouthair]

If she doesnt wanna do it, there's nothing you can do. She has to want it for herself. Maybe deep down she feels that her hair wont get better, so she doesnt even try.

 

[wheezy807]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

Yall may be right. Why spend a ton of money of products just to let them collect dust?! She could send that stuff to me!! Pack up the Pibbs, I NEED that

 

[tiffers]

There's really nothing you can do

She's a member/lurker here, she has a Pibbs and probably every product under the sun. What more motivation does she need? She just flat out doesn't wanna take care of her hair

Hopefully one day she'll come around and realize that your hair looks fab while her hair is a broken off, HAM

If not, you can always go to her house and bum some good products off of her

 

[Blessed_Angel]

If she doesnt wanna do it, there's nothing you can do. She has to want it for herself. Maybe deep down she feels that her hair wont get better, so she doesnt even try.

I totally agree.

And I think that she buys the products with you because she wants you to "think" that she's trying to take care of her hair. But the truth shows in the condition of her hair. She's obviously not motivated enough to do it; and she may think that she has no control over hair. Many woman feel helpless. They don't even think their hair can grow. But as long as you're alive; your hair is gonna grow. It's all about maintaining that growth. I had a friend like that. She didn't like taking the time to COMMIT to taking care of her hair. Hopefully, she'll see you as her motivation; instead of intimidation.

 

[Traycee]

How do I tell my BFF this without hurting her feelings? Or say, your hair is jacked up because you refuse to take care of it? We joined the site together last February, and my hair has taken off. Her hair is still in the same place and broke off in the crown . She waits for me to read up and test products, then she'll go get them...but won't USE them. She hates to wash her hair.

What really burns me up is her DH bought her a Pibbs way before we knew what Pibbs was...that sucka gets no love in her house. Help me help her!!

If she is a member or lurker here...don't you think she might get hurt or offended reading this thread ????

 

[Cleve_gryl]

If she is a member or lurker here...don't you think she might get hurt or offended reading this thread ????

Nope, she has a membership but hasn't logged on since like May 07. That was the last thing I was worried about.

 

[Mimi22]

If she is a member or lurker here...don't you think she might get hurt or offended reading this thread ????

I was thinking the same thing

 

[MizAvalon]

If she doesnt wanna do it, there's nothing you can do. She has to want it for herself. Maybe deep down she feels that her hair wont get better, so she doesnt even try.

Agreed. When folks get tired of their hair looking a hot, busted mess year after year after YEAR, then they will eventually try to change.

 

[Traycee]

There are a lot of people that desire long or just healthy hair but....aren't willing to do the work....I know she is a friend.... but those are her issues ............I wouldn't lose any sleep over it...Just keep doing what your doing ...Your hair is very pretty

 

[Cleve_gryl]

She seems to think that it (haircare) is a lot of work, and I assure her that its not. I actually have fun doing my hair. I honestly invest alot of time into my hair because I like to, but deep conditioning once a week isn't that hard is it?!

 

[Blessed_Angel]

It isn't hard for me...but she seems to be depressed. That is usually the first sign of laziness. And she's lazy when it comes to her hair. She simply doesn't care.

 

[KaramelDiva1978]

Idk how far you guys live from each other, but if you're really close and you have so much fun doing yours, what if you suggest you have a "wash day" together. Like make a girlfriend's night of snacks and a good movie during your deep condish. Maybe you could even say, "Girl, you have all these products, we need to put them to good use!" Shoot, if you're at her crib, you get free use of the Pibbs !!! But maybe you can actually help her take care of hers by doing it once or twice with her and maybe consistency will show her some results. Just a suggestion!

Wish you the best with it!!

 

[Cleve_gryl]

It isn't hard for me...but she seems to be depressed. That is usually the first sign of laziness. And she's lazy when it comes to her hair. She simply doesn't care.

You took the words right out of my mouth . I can tell by the health and appearance that she just doesn't care. I really don't think she'll do anything to her head until her DH complains about it.

Idk how far you guys live from each other, but if you're really close and you have so much fun doing yours, what if you suggest you have a "wash day" together. Like make a girlfriend's night of snacks and a good movie during your deep condish. Maybe you could even say, "Girl, you have all these products, we need to put them to good use!" Shoot, if you're at her crib, you get free use of the Pibbs !!! But maybe you can actually help her take care of hers by doing it once or twice with her and maybe consistency will show her some results. Just a suggestion!

Wish you the best with it!!

We live in different states, so that wouldnt work...I wish we were closer because that would be fun, and she'd probably be more open to doing hair if we did it together. I sent her a box of old magnetic rollers I outgrew, so she could learn to rollerset...again, no love.

 

[Isis]

We can't change other people. It's her hair and her business whether or not to care for it. All you can do is be an example of what is possible. One day she may come around and ask for advice or she may not ever do it. She may not ever use her Pibb's. It's all her choice and it's most important that you respect that

 

[It~Can~Grow]

If I'm honest with myself I would have to say that 'it is work'...I want healthy hair. I'm ubber competitive so now I'm in a competition with myself to prove to myself that I can grow long hair, so I'm willing to make the time and put in the work.

I say it's work because even once a solid regimen is identified I believe it will still eat up some time.

My tuesday - mid -week wash I consider as my quick wash and it still takes two hours.

This includes time to let conditioners marinate, but that's still time you have to sit around and wait for something to happen.

Pre poo w/heat and wait
rinse
co wash
rinse
DC
rinse
detangler>leave in>seal and scarf

Start to finish 2 hours

Now the Friday wash and pamper

I start at 3:30 once I get home from the office..

Oil rinse to Leave in...it's now 7:30 or 8:00 if I'm lucky.

Even once I narrow down products...know exactly what and how much of this and that to add...I'm still looking at 3 hours a year from now. So, it is work but we're just willing to put in the time. When someone else looks at your hair they 'think' they want healthy long hair, but when they look at the process we've discovered that works to retain it's more than just a notion and second thoughts set in

 

[Cleve_gryl]

If I'm honest with myself I would have to say that 'it is work'...I want healthy hair. I'm ubber competitive so now I'm in a competition with myself to prove to myself that I can grow long hair, so I'm willing to make the time and put in the work.


Even once I narrow down products...know exactly what and how much of this and that to add...I'm still looking at 3 hours a year from now. So, it is work but we're just willing to put in the time. When someone else looks at your hair they 'think' they want healthy long hair, but when they look at the process we've discovered that works to retain it's more than just a notion and second thoughts set in

You're right, it is alot of work but I think those of us that put in that work truely enjoy it. I know I do, I like seeing the results of it. When strangers ask me about my hair, I always tell them it takes alot of work to get my hair like this . I'm going to lay off my BFF...If she likes her hair that way, I love it.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

I can tell it's hurting you...because you want what's best for her. But it's very sad when you want it more than she does.

I wish you both the best. And keep looking good...lol.

 

[Moroni]

How do I tell my BFF this without hurting her feelings? Or say, your hair is jacked up because you refuse to take care of it? We joined the site together last February, and my hair has taken off. Her hair is still in the same place and broke off in the crown . She waits for me to read up and test products, then she'll go get them...but won't USE them. She hates to wash her hair.

What really burns me up is her DH bought her a Pibbs way before we knew what Pibbs was...that sucka gets no love in her house. Help me help her!!

Hey, Cleve, your hair is awesome! In fact, your hair looked awesome when you got started back in February of last year!!! Is it possible that she's comparing her hair to yours, and thinking that since her hair is different (whether it's coarser, finer, kinkier, shorter.....whatever), her progress won't be like yours, and she's feeling defeated??? Sort of like two friends who are overweight, one by 15 pounds and one by 150. You can imagine the heavier one might feel a little bit overwhelmed by the enthusiam of the less heavy one at some point, right?

If you are together and on the forum, maybe you could show her someone who has had tremendous results starting where she is right now. I just know that if you can get her here, active on the site (lurking or posting), but seeing ladies who have been where she is, she'll come around. All of us handle our disappointment and discouragement in different ways. I can't wait to meet her! HTH

 

[janeemat]

How do I tell my BFF this without hurting her feelings? Or say, your hair is jacked up because you refuse to take care of it? We joined the site together last February, and my hair has taken off. Her hair is still in the same place and broke off in the crown . She waits for me to read up and test products, then she'll go get them...but won't USE them. She hates to wash her hair.

What really burns me up is her DH bought her a Pibbs way before we knew what Pibbs was...that sucka gets no love in her house. Help me help her!!

I say don't give up on her. Hopefully sooner or later she will come around. My sister's hair was/is really jacked up. She was so overprocessed from doing home perms and not knowing what she was doing until her scalp is showing, seriously alopecia from chemicals. I have been trying to give her tips for the last year. My biggest tip to her was NO MORE relaxers, because she was just too damaged and her hair could know longer hold up under them. Her hair is fine, so I would tell her to purchase a good ceramic flat iron, cut it all off and start over. Well, she finally took my advice the end of Dec and did just that. I sent her to a reputable stylist for the cut, I purchased a chi for her (she paid me back) and now she is relaxer free with no plans of getting one anytime soon. She washes and deep cond once a week and then flat irons. Some weeks I do it for her. He hair looks so much healthier now. Just be straight and tell your friend how jacked up her hair is and offer advice when ever you can.