Need Your Opinion Ladies!

[LadyBlu]

OK...I'll try to keep this short. I recently met a colleague of mine for coffee whom I had not seen in years, basically before my LHCF days. I had my hair in a twist out with a headband (I get LOTS of compliments on this style--people think it's my natural hair texture). Anyway, as we are catching up, she tells me that she was invited to a Christmas party for some of her clients and did not want to go alone, so I tagged along.

Mind you...the party had already started when she asked me to go with her, so I had to change REALLY quickly. Not knowing what to do with my twist out (which I had just done that morning), I pulled it up and slapped a hair zing on it. I played up my eyes, put on some sparkly earrings and a nice lip color and was out the door.

Today we were talking and she came right out and asked me why I didn't bother to flat iron my hair for the Christmas party. She told me my hair looked "decent", but I should have been more mindful of my surroundings (a whole bunch of white doctors). I was like...huh?

Again, I got a lot of compliments on my hair that evening because people assumed it was my natural texture just pinned up. I dunno. Maybe I'm taking this a little too personally, but I did not like the implication that "natural looking" hair was not PC for a Christmas party with the rich white folks. Am I being hormonal or what?

 

[eajaye2u]

I dunno Ladyblu. Is this a close friend? Cause it almost sounded like the green monster to me. You were probably a lil too cute and gawgeous. Hope I am wrong and she was just having a moment.

 

[Esq.2B]

Yeah, I'm a little confused as to how she came to her conclusion especially when you received compliments that evening.

I'm thinking either:
1) She's jealous of the attention you received, or
2) The clear people were just being sarcastic in your face (like I've seen them do) then ridiculed your hair behind your back.

Question, the compliments that you received that evening, were they from the white doctors at the event or somewhere else prior to attending the evening?

 

[frizzy]

She's not the boss of you. You can wear your hair how it suits you, plus you were doing her a favor. Forget her and her "friends".

Do you think she was trying to say you made her look bad by wearing your hair textured?

I really don't know what to think of that comment.

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

I don't think that you are being too hormonal.
Was she really 4 real? Did she really expect you to flat iron your hair that quickly for an event? I think that she didn't like the attention that you received and if she really wanted you to make your hair more PCerplexed, she would have said it in the beginning or she should not have even invited you to begin with. JMHO.
If the rich white folks were ridiculing you behind your back and your "friend" knew about it and at least didn't tell you that's what's up, she ain't a friend. Again, JMHO.

 

[DivaRox]

I honestly cannot think of any positive way to take this comment. I hope it's as simple as you and her were previously on such good terms that she felt comfortable saying what she really thought. I can't imagine receiving a comment like this from a close friend or family member and even then it would give me pause, not some random *ain't seen in a blue moon* usta b colleague.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Ummm. Excuse her erplexed What a beeyotch. Sorry, but that is what she sounds like. She invited you to this party at the last minute and have the damn gall to ask why you didn't straighten your hair?? And who is she to say that straightened hair is the only way to "do you". It sounds liked you looked lovely.

WHATEVER!!!

 

[tricie]

Bre~Bre said: Ummm. Excuse her erplexed What a beeyotch.

Dayum! I bet your hair was extra fly; not to mention, I have a hairzing, and I can't wait to do a bantu knot twistout and throw it in there afterwards. I get compliments from white folks and black folks when I wear my hair curly, so rock on with your cute 'do; she was truly hatin'!

 

[Traycee]

Honestly I would not take it personally..She has her own issues. You'll be shocked to know how many black people are uncomfortable with their blackness. We have been brain-washed....What she meant to say was u looked a little too black for the white people. u should have flat-iron so would u look more like the them.(white)

The scary part is she doesn't even realize that she was saying our natural hair is not good enough

 

[DarkVictory]

Not knowing what to do with my twist out (which I had just done that morning), I pulled it up and slapped a hair zing on it. I played up my eyes, put on some sparkly earrings and a nice lip color and was out the door.

Today we were talking and she came right out and asked me why I didn't bother to flat iron my hair for the Christmas party. She told me my hair looked "decent", but I should have been more mindful of my surroundings (a whole bunch of white doctors). I was like...huh?

You know those folks were dang lucky to have a sparkly-earring sister show up at their party, twist-out, relaxed, or shiny bald-headed! Sounds like she's envious of the attention you received.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I immediately took it as her being jealous of you. Point blank. Work to get toxic people out of your life. I don't know why she was led back in but I strongly believe that those with negativity energy are drawn to people with positive energy. They want to zap you of that energy. You don't need it. This is a long lost "friend." She ought to stay lost.

Sorry for sounding harsh, but she doesn't sound like she has your best interest at heart.

 

[wannabelong]

It sounds like you were looking FLYYYYYY and your "friend" was sippin' on some HATERADE!!!!!!!

 

[HopefulOne]

Yeah, I'm a little confused as to how she came to her conclusion especially when you received compliments that evening.

I'm thinking either:
1) She's jealous of the attention you received, or
2) The clear people were just being sarcastic in your face (like I've seen them do) then ridiculed your hair behind your back.

Question, the compliments that you received that evening, were they from the white doctors at the event or somewhere else prior to attending the evening?

Excellent point. We are so confused about what clear people, specifically clear women really think of our hair. They think it is inferior to theirs, a feeling we do not help by our eagerness to attach 2 and 3 hair to our 4b scalps. Disclaimer before we have 50-11 posts about white men who love 4b blah blah blah. I am just trying to keep it real.

With regard to the original post, if you like your hair, who cares what others think. There are so many agendas that is exhausting to try to analyze them - was your friend jealous, were the doctor's lying, blah, blah, When I like my hair, I don't care what others think.

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

Hopeful One-What matters most is that YOU were comfortable and theres nothing more beautiful than a woman thats comfortable with herself via natural, extensions etc

It has nothing to do with texture or socio economic class

I commend your overall style.

Some people can handle the attention some cant.


I dont wear my natural to work (3AA-250 clear or Indian)
because Id catch a case

I tried it one time and the "oohs" & "ahhs" oh man thats cool..

I DID NOT LIKE IT

Remember as long as your COMFORTABLE

 

[HopefulOne]

Hopeful One-What matters most is that YOU were comfortable and theres nothing more beautiful than a woman thats comfortable with herself via natural, extensions etc

It has nothing to do with texture or socio economic class

I commend your overall style.

Some people can handle the attention some cant.


I dont wear my natural to work (3AA-250 clear or Indian)
because Id catch a case

I tried it one time and the "oohs" & "ahhs" oh man thats cool..

I DID NOT LIKE IT

Remember as long as your COMFORTABLE

I can't agree. I think some choices have EVERYTHING to do with socioeconomic class.

 

[wannabelong]

Excellent point. We are so confused about what clear people, specifically clear women really think of our hair. They think it is inferior to theirs, a feeling we do not help by our eagerness to attach 2 and 3 hair to our 4b scalps. Disclaimer before we have 50-11 posts about white men who love 4b blah blah blah. I am just trying to keep it real.

With regard to the original post, if you like your hair, who cares what others think. There are so many agendas that is exhausting to try to analyze them - was your friend jealous, were the doctor's lying, blah, blah, When I like my hair, I don't care what others think.

ITA! So what if the clear people were being sarcastic, what matters is how you felt about your hair. If you liked it, bump what everyone else thinks.

 

[destiny616]

I don't think you are being hormonal. I think most people in the same situation would have been offended. I don't think your friend was jealous and I don't think she was being a hater. She just didn't like your hair style and that's fine. The only thing that matters is that you liked it and wore it with confidence. Her perception of a polished hair style maybe be different than yours. There are people that perfer straight sleek styles over textured looks. That doesn't make them jealous haters. They just like what they like. Maybe a pinned up twist out didn't look polished enough to her. I don't know what your hair looked like and I'm sure it probaly looked nice but I have seen some braid/twist out attemps that looked liked a messy bad hair day. I'm just palying devils advocate and offering a different way to look at the situation.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Eww thats some stupid ish my mama would say. That was very negative for two reasons. Either she was super jealous of you, or she want to live something that she is not through you.

Eitherway, you need to check her on that so that it doesnt happen again.

 

[MsCounsel]

I think it sounds a bit insulting....