*CRYING* The weave damaged my hair!!

[Crystalicequeen123]

I'm so sad right now I can barely write this post....but I need all the help I can get.

I don't know if anyone of you read my post about a month ago, but I was contemplating on whether or not I should get a sew-in weave for vacation. Well...I had never had a weave before, and so I figured why not right??

Everything was okay (I was taking care of it, getting it washed and done at the salon every week/two), and I just got it taken out on Tuesday (after having it in for about 6 weeks).

Well....instead of picking the cornrows out with her hands, the stylist immediately started using the fine-toothed comb to actually COMB the corn-rows out of my hair! This didn't sound right to me, and I told her twice that I didn't think that my fine hair could take all the stress.

She just kept saying to trust her and that she knew what she was doing.
WEll, to make a LONG story short, after she washed and deep conditioned my hair, and blowdried it, I noticed that my hair is not only finer and thinner than it was when I first got the weave in, but my scalp is still sore from the braids!! *crying* My hair is almost non-existent!!! Oh my goodness... my ends are sooo fine and whispy... I can't even imagine wearing it out. :*( My hair is naturally fine, and even though my hair wasn't thick thick before the weave was put in, my hair certainly wasn't as THIN as it was when she took it out!

I don't know what to do! I have to be the maid of honor at my sister's wedding in a month, and my hair was supposed to be in an up-do. I'm so mad and frustrated that I just want to get my hair cut off to my neck and start all over again. All that hard work is GONE! Gone down the drain.... I'm so sad I feel like crying.

I"m so so discouraged right now. Has anyone else ever made a bad decision with regards to their hair and has had to start all over again?? How did you get through it? I'm just so discouraged right now that I don't even want to do anything...I just feel like completely giving up on this hair-care journey. My usual stylist is going to kill me when she sees my hair...

I regret even getting the weave...

Anyway...here are the before and after pictures:


My OWN hair before the weave....

My hair with the weave:

My hair after the weave was taken out: *crying*

 

[fluffylocks]

Aaaaw--Im sorry that she did that. Well let my just say hair is most of the time ALWAYS thin after you take braids out

Just do some protein treatments, and your hair should thicken right back up! And braids could make someone who's been getting their hair done for years and years sore, it was only your first time, but, she may have been extra hard, so if there is a next time, tell them to be gentler

Something like that happened everytime i went to get braids, they would either cut some of my hair, braid to tight and i would loose hair in the front, ect. ect..---so next time you should consider a fall/half weave, just like a sewin, exept no-one has to touch your hair

 

[NYAmicas]

*Hugs* Im so sorry this happened to you. I know after I let my fiance's sister relax my hair I saw so much hair loss afterward. NOw the good news is that you still have a lovely head of hair, even though its not what it was. After I saw the changes to my hair I told myself to only let people with healthy hair care touch my hair and its not actually as bad as I initially thought it was. I dont think you should go back to that woman and I know that your hair will soon be back to the way it was provided you baby it. Enjoy your sister's wedding!

 

[sylver2]

Don't make any rash decisions now..u are goin to be emotional for a little while.
Just start treating it and babying it. Do that for the winter it should be longer and thicker by Spring.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

Sorry that this happened to you. Dont cut it- baby it. It will thicken up. It sounds like she braided it to tight and the combing with the fine tooth comb did not help matters.

I had this problem when my hair was being braided too tight and sewed too tight.

Try castor oil to thicken it up and try a fall or half wig for the wedding.

(((Healthy hair hug 4 u)))

 

[sareca]

ITA. Give it a little TLC until next year.

 

[luvmesumhair]

Don't make any rash decisions now..u are goin to be emotional for a little while.
Just start treating it and babying it. Do that for the winter it should be longer and thicker by Spring.

I am so sorry to hear what happened.

ITA w/Sylver2. Take a deep breath, relax and start thinking about what you are going to do to get your hair healthy again by spring. I know it is easier said then done but just try it.

As far as your sister's wedding, maybe you can wear hair clips? That might help with giving your hair some length and fullness for your updo?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Have u tried roller setting for a thicker look? Dont go cutting your hair,, i think it probably needs tlc, protein treatments, deep conditioning etc, maybe a tiny , tiny trim off the ends and just keep it under wraps for a while. The strands probably arent that thinned out, becuz i dont see how thats possible simply from braiding.. probably just needs a protein boost...

 

[Cayenne0622]

Girl, I am so sorry!! I can definitely see the difference in the before and after shots. As another lady with finer hair, I understand how devastating any amount of hair loss is. If your hair isn't breaking, I would probably say trim off about an inch and just wear your hair bunned up for the next 6 months. I would continue to keep it trimmed to the same length until it starts thinckening up. Gosh...I wanna cry with you.

I don't know how you want to wear your hair for the wedding but you can always buy a really jazzy wig (half or full).

Good luck, baby girl! Try not to be too sad.

 

[curlcomplexity]

OH!! I am SO sorry sweetie! BIG HUGS TO YOU!!! I was where you were a while ago...things will be alright. This website is the right place for you. Sylver is right, start babying the heck out of your hair and you will see results in no time. Until then, PM me is you need to. I wore weaves for a while too. Also, did the stylist relax your hair too? Sometimes when you come out of a weave and your months post-relaxer, the ends could look thinner. I would also use a protein treatment, like Aphogee or Dudley's

 

[metro_qt]

Here's the Link of what happened to me last summer >>http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=90620<<

(actually if someone could tell me how to link this properly, i'd be much obliged)


I will try and dig up some pictures of what happened to me last summer.
If i can't find them, just imagine and trust me it was bad.

I put in a weave, and by the time it was time to take it out, i found out my weave was sewn in wrong, and my hair started matting.

My whole head of hair, which was brastrap and natural at the time matted into three big dredlocks on my head.

I went to 3 or 4 salons and had countless technicians and hairdressers pulling and yanking and brushing and cutting my hair in the course of that week, each telling me there's nothing i can do, etc.

I ended up travelling 5 hours back home to have my mom do what she could to it.
She ended up salvaging my hair, so that I didn't completely have to shave off my hair, but i had bald spots the size of ....a loonie (our one dollar coin)
about 3 of them from where my hair was pulled and torn out from various people.


I have to say, a year later, my hair has grown back nicely, it's evenly armpit length- even the bald spots

and for a timeline- that happened End of May-2006, by Dec. 2006, the hairstylist texturizing my hair didn't even realize I had had any trauma to my hair. It had all grown back full and thick-(uneven, so i needed a cut)

That's approximately 6 months, fast forward 6 months after that, and i'm at armpit length again.

so don't despair, i've been where you've been and worse! It'll grow back

Plan out a regimen, and follow it for 6 months- I used MN to grow my hair back, along with alot of leave in conditioner, and I kept my hair in plaits, under a really nice wig. I fully left it alone.

I also babied it by doing full conditioner and reconstructor washes every 2 or 3 weeks...then oiling afterwards, then leaving in conditioner for moisture.


I really hope this helps some.

 

[SelfStyled]

I am sooo sorry this happened to you! But I want to let you know that with TLC you CAN turn it around. When you come out of weaves, braids, etc your hair always looks thinner. As all the other ladies have said, be patient and treat your hair with kindness over the next coming months. I will say, Castor Oil is your friend. Find ways to use it in your regimen, whether it's sealing or adding some into your deep conditions. Castor oil has really helped me to thicken my strands. I wore weaves for 3.5 years and decided in May that the weave was doing more damage than protection and I can honestly say that 3 months later my hair is thicker and healthier. IMO your hair doesn't look that bad right now, I really think that you can turn it around. Best of luck to you, please keep us all posted.

 

[Luvmylife]

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry you are going through this. I also have been the victim of thinning ends after a weave and I just have two words for you:

Castor Oil

Baby your ends right now, (no heat, no extra combing or brushing) make liberal use of castor oil for sealing and don't make any rash decisions about cutting anything. It will get better, I promise

 

[Sosoothing]

Cry if you need to and release that frustration. I can only imagine how devastated you are.
But please dont cut it. Maybe later when you are calm you can decide to cut it but right now you just need time to accept what has happened and first give your hair a chance to recover. As you can see, you have several options. Good luck.

 

[alwayzalady22]

Here's the Link of what happened to me last summer >>http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=90620<<

(actually if someone could tell me how to link this properly, i'd be much obliged)


I will try and dig up some pictures of what happened to me last summer.
If i can't find them, just imagine and trust me it was bad.

I put in a weave, and by the time it was time to take it out, i found out my weave was sewn in wrong, and my hair started matting.

My whole head of hair, which was brastrap and natural at the time matted into three big dredlocks on my head.

I went to 3 or 4 salons and had countless technicians and hairdressers pulling and yanking and brushing and cutting my hair in the course of that week, each telling me there's nothing i can do, etc.

I ended up travelling 5 hours back home to have my mom do what she could to it.
She ended up salvaging my hair, so that I didn't completely have to shave off my hair, but i had bald spots the size of ....a loonie (our one dollar coin)
about 3 of them from where my hair was pulled and torn out from various people.


I have to say, a year later, my hair has grown back nicely, it's evenly armpit length- even the bald spots

and for a timeline- that happened End of May-2006, by Dec. 2006, the hairstylist texturizing my hair didn't even realize I had had any trauma to my hair. It had all grown back full and thick-(uneven, so i needed a cut)

That's approximately 6 months, fast forward 6 months after that, and i'm at armpit length again.

so don't despair, i've been where you've been and worse! It'll grow back

Plan out a regimen, and follow it for 6 months- I used MN to grow my hair back, along with alot of leave in conditioner, and I kept my hair in plaits, under a really nice wig. I fully left it alone.

I also babied it by doing full conditioner and reconstructor washes every 2 or 3 weeks...then oiling afterwards, then leaving in conditioner for moisture.


I really hope this helps some.

i know your testimony was for the OP, but i tears welled up in my eyes after i read this! i had a horrible similar experience with a weave (which led me to lhcf), and i had quite a few bald spots in my head...the spots are filled in, some are about 3.5 to 4'' long now, 8 months later...the rest of my hair is in much better shape than it was in december, and i'm hoping by december of this year that my broken off parts are 6'' long stretched/flat ironed, and the majority of my hair is at APL...i too will be using a combo of MN and BT to grow out my hair, and i hope the prolonged california summer encourages some extra growth...

so just know that you've helped me and the OP with your post, metro! luv ya!

 

[NuMe2004]

Hey,

Thanks for sharing your story/pics. Sorry this had to happen to you.

I definitely agree with some of the ladies who said that you shouldn't jump to chop off your hair.

My hair broke off badly years ago while I was relaxed, and instead of chopping all my hair off (like I should have), I wore it in buns a lot and moisturized the heck out of it. I trimmed it as it grew, and eventually it came back in thicker.

If I were you I'd start with a good trim and take it from there. Good luck to you!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

It looks to me like your hair has just gained length and since it wasn't really thick to began with it looks thinner, also it looks like you have a lot of NG and lots of NG makes the hair fall funny and make it appear thinner than it really is.

Not sure when your going to relax again, but I would just start DC and doing treatments more often and wait until after relaxing to see how full it really is.

 

[HoneyA]

Girl, I completely understand how you feel. I used to wear weaves to grow my hair out (so I thought) until I realised they were really messing up my hair. At least you realised it after doing it once. Mine happened over time, over a year I think. My ends were horrible. It was uneven. My hair started to break at the sides and edges. My left side at the front was literally about 4 ''. Wearing my hair out was not an option. It looked disastrous. I finally had to blunt cut it to just below ear length about 2 years ago. Then I had to wear it out because it couldnt' go in one. Within the year I found LHCF and starting taking care of it and it's been pretty much fine ever since. Just protect your hair in general and take care of the ends, use castor oil to seal and your hair will thicken and bounce back in no time. Hang in there...

 

[glamazon386]

I'm sorry this happened to you hun! It sounds like she pulled your hair too tight and then that small comb pulled ever more out. Just keep babying your hair, it'll thicken back up.

Also, I agree with BeautifulWideEyes about your hair might look better after you relax. Sometimes when you have a lot of new growth the shrinkage is uneven and makes your ends look thin and uneven but when you relax they're all the same length.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Has anyone else ever made a bad decision with regards to their hair and has had to start all over again?? How did you get through it? I'm just so discouraged right now that I don't even want to do anything...I just feel like completely giving up on this hair-care journey. My usual stylist is going to kill me when she sees my hair.

Crystal, I am so sad this happened to you. I have had my share of bad experiences with stylists. I have made a vow to never go to a stylist that I am not familiar with. Especially not for major processes. There is only one stylist that I trust and she's in Miami. But now that I am in GA, I will remain a DIYer indefinitely.

I went thru something similar with a stylist and I am gradually dusting off hair. All I needed was some TLC and my hair is regaining its health.

Go back to doing what you were doing before this happened. Go back to DCing, moisuture/protein treatments, and taking care of it yourself. If you feel you must cut some off, simply cut off the hair you feel is damaged. By looking at your last few pics, you look like you need barely an inch off, if that at all. Your hair will thicken up.

As for your sister's wedding, there are so many styles that do not require any elaborate manipulation, or you can play with some phony ponies if you wanna do an updo. You have enough hair to come up with a beautiful hairdo.

All is not lost. You learned a valuable lesson that will help you gain prettier, longer, and even healthier hair from this moment on.

Have fun at the wedding and keep us posted!

 

[SunnyDelight]

I'm sorry this happened to you hun! It sounds like she pulled your hair too tight and then that small comb pulled ever more out. Just keep babying your hair, it'll thicken back up.

Also, I agree with BeautifulWideEyes about your hair might look better after you relax. Sometimes when you have a lot of new growth the shrinkage is uneven and makes your ends look thin and uneven but when you relax they're all the same length.

ITA with the all of this - especially the bolded.

 

[sylver2]

I would wait awhile before relaxing it. your hair is at its weakest state right now.

 

[northernbelle]

I am sorry to learn about the condition of your hair and the problems that the weave has caused. I have never worn a weave, and so I cannot speak from experience. I trust that in time, your hair will recover, and, that this is a lesson learned.

 

[InnerSoul]

(((HUGS))))

yes I understand your frustration... check out my journal for my latest updates and you will see that I totally understand. That small comb she used was the main culprit in my opinion. You can try to thicken your hair back up with protein treatments and possibly just stretching your relaxers out if you aren't already doing that. Stretching has helped to thicken my hair. As frustrating as this is... you will get through this as time goes on.

 

[glamazon386]

I would wait awhile before relaxing it. your hair is at its weakest state right now.

Sylver's right. You're supposed to wait a week or two after taking it out to relax anyway for that very reason.

 

[mzhotniz86]

dont feel bad sweety. my hair does the same thing with simple styles like braidouts. mater of fact, i had to stop rollersetting and get my hair cut shorter because of the thin ends and then the splits. i wouldnt cut it unless you have splits tho. a nice deep conditioner or some cholesterolw/ heating cap/hood dryer and then a blowdry on low heat will give it the apperance of being fuller. trust. i kno that heat is not good, but whenever i blowdry my hair i have a nice big THICK bush to mess in . and remember to moisturize. sorry this happened to you, but remember that it could be worse. your hair could be as short as mine lol.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

I have to say that your weave looked GREAT!!! I couldn't even tell the difference in the pictures. Although I notice a difference in the before an after a cut to the neck would be a bit drastic to me. I would do some protein treatments and protect those ends by wearing my hair in protective styles.

I certainly feel your pain with your stylists and her not listening to you. Sometimes you just have to get up and walk out. I have snatched a comb before....LOL I would definitely hold off on cutting your hair.

 

[starfish]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! The SAME thing happened to me last year, when I took my weave out. I had 2 different weaves in for about 3 monhts total, I went to the salon weekly, took care of it, and it thinned out my hair too. (my stylist didn't use a fine tooth comb to get the cornrows out either)

It only took about 3-4 months to nurse my hair back to health (cassia treatments, no direct heat, only rollersets) I put braids in my hair this summer and it really thickened up with the braids.

It'll thicken up!

 

[elaine07]

I'm sooo sorry to hear this happened to you. I wear weaves, and even though I do have rather thin ends, I have never experienced any major damage. Next time (if you ever weave again), please, please take the cornrows out w/ your fingers. I'm sure if you pay special attention to your hair over the next few months, you can get it back into good shape. Keep your head up Chica!

 

[Soliel185]

This is EXACTLY what happened to me. I thought that the sew-in would help protect some of the areas that had been damaged from the dry winter and I'd never had one before, but instead it made them worse. I just told her to chop it when I saw how thin it was and in a year went from APL to mid-neck. That was in June. It solidified my resolution to never go to a stylist again, but it also kicked my good hair practices into gear and now I'm 14wks post with what looks like 1-3 inches of new growth on my head. Don't worry -- it'll come back, and the hair the grows in will probably be thicker than before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that though- I cried the whole way home so I can only imagine how you must feel.