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I Officially Hate The Way I Look With Natural Hair

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stephanie75miller said:
Have you looked into that texture manageability system by beautiful textures. It supposedly doesn't have chemicals. If you don't care for your current texture this could be an option. I know chime Edwards had it done like a year ago but didn't what her texture to change so she ended up cutting her hair. Check out her YouTube she gives her experience. If you perfer straight hair I would think this would be a good option for you. I think design essentials also has a staightening system as well. There are so many more options today. Your hair should not be stressing you. You shouldn't feel bad preferring straight hair.
Click to expand...

Good suggestion! This product kind of reminds me of New Options Alkaline Mineral Softener which I think I'm going to try. It just softens the hair making it easier to straighten and the straight hair style is supposed to last longer.
 
I'm in the same struggle, but objectively, I like how my natural hair looks. Like if it were on someone else's head, I'd like it, so I don't want to let it go.
Plus I can't imagine going back to the stress and expense of relaxing and caring for relaxed hair. These natural hair years have been the easiest of my life, hairwise lol.

My way of dealing with it has been braiding it up until it gets long enough to where shrinkage isn't as much of an issue. It'll be 3 years in October and I'm at shoulder blade now, so hopefully another year or so will do it.
 
Chaosbutterfly said:
My way of dealing with it has been braiding it up until it gets long enough to where shrinkage isn't as much of an issue. It'll be 3 years in October and I'm at shoulder blade now, so hopefully another year or so will do it.
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I'm with you, butterfly: I am going to "hold out" until I have enough length such that shrinkage isn't too bothersome. It's length and NOT texture that's my issue.

Right now, I just can't go back to worrying about chemical damage, my edges, whether I need to bend my ends, etc.

I hope gravity causes my hair to fall downward at SOME point. :laugh: Guess I'll see!
 
:needpics:

Not trying to be funny, but let us be the judge. How long have you been natural? Seriously, have you tried installing your own braids. I've been natural for over ten years and I've just had success with installing my own braids with much practice. Medium to large Havana braids are the way to go.
 
bklynbornNbred said:
NO NO NO to TMS.




Y'all gonna keep Komaza in business constantly sticking to and rehashing trends that don't work and damage folks hair.
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It doesn't look like she said the treatment damaged her hair it was her using heat that was too high. The treatment just straightened her hair more than she wanted which if the OP wants to wear straight hair all the time then I don't see the problem.
 
Muse said:
It doesn't look like she said the treatment damaged her hair it was her using heat that was too high. The treatment just straightened her hair more than she wanted which if the OP wants to wear straight hair all the time then I don't see the problem.
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I agree.
I wonder how the hair holds up to humidity after one (or a series) of these treatments. Humidity struck me again yesterday. Left the house with an awesome braidout, 2 hours later, not a bit of definition left and nothing but straight up frizz!
 
@CaraWalker
im in the same struggle, I stopped relaxing- I'm growing out my keratin treatments - I'm pretty much a straight hair natural and I don't know what to do next. Being a straight hair natural can be high maintenance and expensive. I'm trying to learn how to straighten at home :(
 
HappyAtLast said:
I agree.
I wonder how the hair holds up to humidity after one (or a series) of these treatments. Humidity struck me again yesterday. Left the house with an awesome braidout, 2 hours later, not a bit of definition left and nothing but straight up frizz!
Click to expand...

I thought you were experimenting with grease for better braid out results? Didn't work out?
 
@Muse

Watch her other video "My TMS experience one year later". It damaged her hair.

Others in the comments and on other boards had same experience. If it worked for you fine but don't use Chime as an example when she is currently growing out damage caused from this product. Wanting straight hair does not mean deliberately damaging your hair.
 
bklynbornNbred said:
@Muse

Watch her other video "My TMS experience one year later". It damaged her hair.

Others in the comments and on other boards had same experience. If it worked for you fine but don't use Chime as an example when she is currently growing out damage caused from this product. Wanting straight hair does not mean deliberately damaging your hair.
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Ok, I just looked at the video you posted. I'm not interested in the treatment for myself but I do know a lot of things get a bad rap because of user error.
 
beingofserenity said:
I thought you were experimenting with grease for better braid out results? Didn't work out?
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Nah, sis. It's a no go. That was still no match. I just can't find the right match of products yet. And what's worse Ive been heavily observing naturals in my area and no one has seemed to find a solution.
I stopped this one girl out of the blue because her twistout was so fly. She said, "Girl, this is a wig!" We laughed so hard! This humidity is no joke!
 
While I was transitioning, I decided that if I ever wanted to be a straight natural, I'd use a hot comb. Flat ironing takes forever and my hair ain't even thick. I can't imagine what it must be like for people with dense thick hair. Also, I feel like the results are better with a hot comb.
 
I had a hot comb, but I gave it to my mom. I'm too clumsy and I'm not about that burnt skin ministry. I'll just stick with the flat iron even though it takes me for-freaking-ever to do. Ugh, back issues and thick hair. Totally bad combination lol
 
I felt the same way as you and I ended up relaxing my hair with phyto index 1. I use to use ORS but hopefully phyto will treat my hair a little better. Hope you find the solution that's best for you.
 
I'm sorry you feel that way. (HUG) Is there any reason you cant straighten your hair and be natural? So you can keep your length and have a style that you feel pretty with....
If not, go to a stylist who knows what they're doing with the bkt and try that out before you try texlaxing. (If you do texlax, go to someone who knows what the hell they're doing please)
 
OP, have you tried curlformers, or is that not up your alley? You might, for example, be able to ponytail your hair after setting with curlformers and be done with it! Heatless stretching!

Or maybe after setting with curlformers you then flat iron. I don't know: Just thinking aloud.

I really hope you get hair routine, look, and health that makes you exhale and smile.

P.S.
Do you only like your hair bone straight?
 
Chaosbutterfly said:
I'm in the same struggle, but objectively, I like how my natural hair looks. Like if it were on someone else's head, I'd like it, so I don't want to let it go.
Plus I can't imagine going back to the stress and expense of relaxing and caring for relaxed hair. These natural hair years have been the easiest of my life, hairwise lol.

My way of dealing with it has been braiding it up until it gets long enough to where shrinkage isn't as much of an issue. It'll be 3 years in October and I'm at shoulder blade now, so hopefully another year or so will do it.
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right! objectively my hair is very pretty but it does not look good on my face on my head on my body. i thought the same thing that once i got some length things would be better. and in some ways it is because i dont have to work so hard to get a ponytail, but the shrinkage does not seem to change no matter how long my hair gets. it is always at shoulder length.

Whimsy said:
I'm sorry you feel that way. (HUG) Is there any reason you cant straighten your hair and be natural? So you can keep your length and have a style that you feel pretty with....
If not, go to a stylist who knows what they're doing with the bkt and try that out before you try texlaxing. (If you do texlax, go to someone who knows what the hell they're doing please)
Click to expand...

i always have set backs when i straighten my hair on any kind of regular basis. thats why this time i am making sure to think in terms of high quality tools and products and always using a ton of heat protectant. last night i straightened my hair in extremely small sections (probably smaller than a quarter of an inch, basically about twenty strands together or something ridiculous like that) with the flat iron on its lowest setting which was 365. it honestly wouldnt have gotten much straighter at any other temp until i hit 400. it also took about 4 hours or so. i wasnt counting but i went through 6 episodes of a 1 hour tv show.

mysblossom said:
OP, have you tried curlformers, or is that not up your alley? You might, for example, be able to ponytail your hair after setting with curlformers and be done with it! Heatless stretching!

Or maybe after setting with curlformers you then flat iron. I don't know: Just thinking aloud.

I really hope you get hair routine, look, and health that makes you exhale and smile.

P.S.
Do you only like your hair bone straight?
Click to expand...

ive tried heatless stretching and it makes my hair look a frizzy mess.
 
Muse said:
I feel you. I think I look better with straight hair too so I am a straight hair natural. I would not recommend BKT. It's all good in the beginning but that extreme heat catches up especially if your strands are fragile. I had hair breaking off mid length! Plus the formaldehyde exposure is NOT worth it IMO.

That Alterna line looks pretty good. I have never tried it before but I did just buy one of their scalp exfoliating products to try. I personally have had good success with two lines. It's a 10! and Living Proof. It's a 10! gives me relaxer straight results but it's heavier on my fine 4b strands. Living Proof is weightless and makes my hair feel amazing but there's a lot more volume which is what the product is supposed to deliver but I don't need volume. It just depends on your needs/wants. Don't feel bad for having a preference. You tried natural hair and just prefer straight which is fine. I also think with the advice on this board you can straighten regularly and successfully with minimal damage.
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i thought about trying living proof especially when i saw a couple bottles of it in target. which line do you use? perfect hair day?

there is so much info in the straight hair naturals thread. do you have a shortcut on what heat protectant most ladies are using? i saw some super long hair in that thread so i know people are retaining.
 
If I were you, I'd become a heat trained natural and wear weaves.
I haven't been natural long and even now I'm sometimes getting tired of redoing my hair nightly and I want straight hair... but not just my own straight hair, I want the fullness and variety of a weave. If I didn't care about heat damage, I'd weave up my hair and have a nice leave out going. Save for your hair products and start to heat train your hair. Do you have a stylist you can visit monthly for silk presses?
 
I feel the exact same way and I just keep it covered whether it's weaved, with a wig, or in braids. My struggle is retention. Once I can figure that out and get it to a wearable length, I can be a straight natural.
 
@CaraWalker - I don't have the same exact struggle but I do understand the feeling. I've recently came to the conclusion that texlax/relaxed hair doesn't work for my hair but having been a lifelong natural wasn't exactly nirvana either. I had a difficult time with caring (lots of setbacks) and styling my hair in a refined style other than buns. I know I would look HAM with short hair so I'm not chopping, just transitioning.

I was a 90% straight hair natural in the 1990s and early 2000s but won't work with my exercise/fitness schedule. I don't have any answers for you, but know you're not alone.
 
Don't feel pressured into being natural. I'm giving natural hair a go, I like it so far, but when I stop liking it and it stops being flattering I will be trying something different. I'd like to add that I'm currently in a weave. I'm just out of year one and it looks funny, and I'm too old to walk around looking funny.
 
CaraWalker said:
yeah, im over it.

i thought it was important to be like "oh im a black person and i dont have straight hair so this is what my hair looks like so everyone deal with it!"

but now im like

this **** is really detracting from my attractiveness factor and i really dont want to feel like i dont get to have a life unless i sew somebody else's hair on my head. and i mean yes im sad about this but also let's just put the rhetoric aside and face the facts, i dont look attractive this way ok

i have a round face and it makes my face look much rounder and my eyes extremely small

my hair is lengthwise into my back now and i dont get to exploit that

and its very nice and pretty and everything but i will never be thin enough to look chic with a little cloud of puffs on my head

so what are my options?

i cannot seem to grow any hair with a relaxer because it will all break off although i might be confounding that with the frequency of which i used to flat iron

i dont know about a BKT because isnt that made with formaldehyde and doesnt everybody always have to chop their hair off after they do it?

i could texlax to loosen it out some but i feel like i would accidentally end up relaxing my whole head

what can i do????
Click to expand...

Lol, girl you have me here cracking up "my attractiveness factor". Natural hair is hard work and it's not for everybody. I have the same problem with relaxers, hair grows but it was always getting overprocessed/breakage but I had new growth so I know my hair grows. Girl just "do you".:afro:
 
OP the struggle is too much. I went natural in 2010 relaxed in 2013. Even though I was 2" from BSL it was very hard to look pretty with my natural hair. A huge part of that reason was due to me being style challenged and u never experiment with blow drying and flat ironing. During my 3.5 years of natural hair I only blow dryed once also flat ironed once, though it was beautiful and much more manageable it was not a smooth sleek finish and quickly should my lack of skills.

Now that I'm relaxed I'm still style challenged but I look more polished at least most times. I am heavily contemplating going back natural and if I do I think product selection and experimenting more will be my focus; that's after I grow it out with weaves for 3 years of course.

I ain't got no time for the awkward stage.
 
Just want to add that I'll never get another relaxer. After years of relaxer abuse, my edges were fried, now I'm having hell trying to get it to grow back. I'll definitely flatiron if I want to but I don't ever want to rely on a relaxer to get straight hair. Plus there is something exotic about black women with natural hair, it just look right and I'm not saying it because I'm natural.:afro:
 
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