Oh Ish. I think I have a "complex"

[*SkolarStar*]

I'm finding myself doing the inevitable. I'm hiding behind my weave. Yes, I love my brown skin. Yes, I like my big lips and nose. But sweet baby Jesus, I can't stand my hair! Maybe I should put it this way, I can't stand the LENGTH of my hair. (Since I wear kinky curly weaves).

I've been at this "hair journey" for a while now. Been natural for two years and transitioned for a year and a half before that with weaves. I've always had problems with my nape (not so much anymore thanks to jbco). Out of my frustration, I've turned to weaves because I think that I look better with longer hair. I would use the excuse that it's only a protective style, I love my hair. Now that I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I'm realizing that I'm lying! I take less pictures without a weave and I'm "less seen" because I don't have the same amount of confidence.

I didn't always feel this way about my hair. In the beginning when I first saw my curl pattern I had so much hope. I envisioned big fros and blocking students from seeing the professor in lecture and people asking me what I do to grow it. All of that honeymoon ish went out of the window when months passed and money was being spent trying to figure out what my hair likes. So that's when I went back to how I transitioned in the first place, weaves. Then I just figured, "hey, if my hair wants to act like this, I'll just keep wearing weaves". Next thing I know, I'm only seeing my real hair a couple of weeks at a time because now I just think I look better in weaves. When I look at my hair, I want to feel like I'm doing something right, but sometimes all I see is wrong.

Now that I realize this is how I feel about myself. I'm not getting another weave until next week (I know that's short, baby steps people. baby steps) and right now, I'm trying to fall in love with my hair again. When I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I had way less breaking than usual and I feel good about that. It was mostly shedding. I did my wash routine and rod set my hair.

My question to you is, how did you fall in love with your hair? Did you ever fall out of love with your hair? If so, how did you fall back in love with your hair? If not, I think you should try.

 

[naija24]

I don't really "love" my hair. I never did. When I had full CL hair, I didn't love it. I don't love it now. If I were TBL hair, I wouldn't love it. It's just hair. I may rather it be longer or shorter for a different aesthetic, but if I don't think I'm beautiful at all times, my hair really becomes irrelevant.

I love me, and I accept everything else. You just have to be happy with what you got.

Sorry thats probably not what you wanted to read.

Err...LHCF made it "easier" lol to accept my hair. I guess.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I can't relate.

 

[LaToya28]

Thanks for having the courage to admit this! I know there are many, many ladies who can relate to this. Maybe not on this forum per se, but I see them all the time on YT, IG, and FB. I used to be one of them in my pre hair journey days. I stayed in some form of braids or weave. I felt so wack when wearing my own hair. For me it was really just a lack of knowledge about how to maintain and style my own hair. I hope that you are able to overcome this and love your hair. It may take a while but that's ok. I think most women have some type of beauty "crutch" whether it's weave, makeup, lashes, etc.

 

[PinkSunshine77]

I'm finding myself doing the inevitable. I'm hiding behind my weave. Yes, I love my brown skin. Yes, I like my big lips and nose. But sweet baby Jesus, I can't stand my hair! Maybe I should put it this way, I can't stand the LENGTH of my hair. (Since I wear kinky curly weaves).

I've been at this "hair journey" for a while now. Been natural for two years and transitioned for a year and a half before that with weaves. I've always had problems with my nape (not so much anymore thanks to jbco). Out of my frustration, I've turned to weaves because I think that I look better with longer hair. I would use the excuse that it's only a protective style, I love my hair. Now that I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I'm realizing that I'm lying! I take less pictures without a weave and I'm "less seen" because I don't have the same amount of confidence.

I didn't always feel this way about my hair. In the beginning when I first saw my curl pattern I had so much hope. I envisioned big fros and blocking students from seeing the professor in lecture and people asking me what I do to grow it. All of that honeymoon ish went out of the window when months passed and money was being spent trying to figure out what my hair likes. So that's when I went back to how I transitioned in the first place, weaves. Then I just figured, "hey, if my hair wants to act like this, I'll just keep wearing weaves". Next thing I know, I'm only seeing my real hair a couple of weeks at a time because now I just think I look better in weaves. When I look at my hair, I want to feel like I'm doing something right, but sometimes all I see is wrong.

Now that I realize this is how I feel about myself. I'm not getting another weave until next week (I know that's short, baby steps people. baby steps) and right now, I'm trying to fall in love with my hair again. When I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I had way less breaking than usual and I feel good about that. It was mostly shedding. I did my wash routine and rod set my hair.

My question to you is, how did you fall in love with your hair? Did you ever fall out of love with your hair? If so, how did you fall back in love with your hair? If not, I think you should try.

Thank you for being honest! I've been feeling the same way lately. I'm sorry. I love myself as a whole..but my hair in it's natural state...I am not a fan. Sometimes I even find myself wishing my deadbeat dad was White, Puerto Rican, Indian or anything else, (I realize most of them have curly hair so that may not make much sense lol but you get my drift) so that I wouldn't have to relax to keep my hair straight the way I like it. I can't keep doing the heat constantly. I've come to the conclusion that I just have to deal with it. I don't think I'll ever be in love with my hair. I know how to maintain and retain length. I prefer my hair straight all the time and find myself envious of ladies that don't have to do all that I have to do, to get and maintain the straightness. I have never liked curly styles on me. I look like a clown and I dislike weaves/braids and fake looking wigs. I might have to invest in an expensive lace front that looks real. I can't keep putting heat on my hair. Sorry my mini vent.

 

[LadyRaider]

My mom told me all my life that my hair was the ish with chocolate chips on top. So I'm brainwashed.

 

[PennyK]

I hated my hair when I was a teenager, because it never stayed straight and would get frizzy, etc. But my desire to make it long was what caused me to fall in love with my curls. Heat was what was killing my hair back then and when I found LHCF, I realized the error of my ways. Slowly my curl pattern started to come back and my hair got healthy. Ever since then, I've loved my hair no matter if it's straight or curly

 

[naturalmanenyc]

*SkolarStar*
I have not worn a sew in weave since 2007; however, I have used wigs and braided/twisted extensions. I never cared for short natural hair on me so I transitioned for 2 full years. I never did a big chop. That is not to say I never had short hair. I had the Halle Berry pixie cut when I was relaxed, complete with a few blonde highlights. It was cute but growing it out was a pain so I never wanted hair that short again.

I fall in and out of love with my natural hair on a day to day basis depending on how it's acting. I think most naturals can relate since a change in the weather can totally change your hairstyle once you get outside.

I love the versatility of my hair. One day it can be in a well defined twist out and the next it will looks like a big curly afro and the next in a tightly coiled wash and go and the next day in a huge bun. My coworkers (Black and White) are amazed by my hair. They always think I cut it when I wear a wash and go. Then they instinctively pull on a curl and see that my hair is as long as theirs, or longer.

I'm finding myself doing the inevitable. I'm hiding behind my weave. Yes, I love my brown skin. Yes, I like my big lips and nose. But sweet baby Jesus, I can't stand my hair! Maybe I should put it this way, I can't stand the LENGTH of my hair. (Since I wear kinky curly weaves).

I've been at this "hair journey" for a while now. Been natural for two years and transitioned for a year and a half before that with weaves. I've always had problems with my nape (not so much anymore thanks to jbco). Out of my frustration, I've turned to weaves because I think that I look better with longer hair. I would use the excuse that it's only a protective style, I love my hair. Now that I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I'm realizing that I'm lying! I take less pictures without a weave and I'm "less seen" because I don't have the same amount of confidence.

I didn't always feel this way about my hair. In the beginning when I first saw my curl pattern I had so much hope. I envisioned big fros and blocking students from seeing the professor in lecture and people asking me what I do to grow it. All of that honeymoon ish went out of the window when months passed and money was being spent trying to figure out what my hair likes. So that's when I went back to how I transitioned in the first place, weaves. Then I just figured, "hey, if my hair wants to act like this, I'll just keep wearing weaves". Next thing I know, I'm only seeing my real hair a couple of weeks at a time because now I just think I look better in weaves. When I look at my hair, I want to feel like I'm doing something right, but sometimes all I see is wrong.

Now that I realize this is how I feel about myself. I'm not getting another weave until next week (I know that's short, baby steps people. baby steps) and right now, I'm trying to fall in love with my hair again. When I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I had way less breaking than usual and I feel good about that. It was mostly shedding. I did my wash routine and rod set my hair.

My question to you is, how did you fall in love with your hair? Did you ever fall out of love with your hair? If so, how did you fall back in love with your hair? If not, I think you should try.

 

[Froreal3]

I used to depend on extensions (mostly braids), then I started trying out various wigs and sometimes a weave. This was before my hair journey. I did this out of pure laziness. I didn't want to deal with my hair because I didn't really know how to style it in ways other than a fro or twists. I've been natural all my life too. I liked the versatility that the fake hair gave me and I didn't have to think about my hair. It wasn't really out of not liking my hair in any way. I've never liked nor disliked it (to this day I'm just neutral about it). I just didn't want to deal with it.

Now that I know how to take care of my hair, I don't wear extensions, weaves, or wigs. Don't get me wrong, I will wear them if I want to, but I have taken this year to really learn to take care of my hair. I am still lazy with styling. It is in twists pulled back into a bun every day.

I think the key is learning the things your hair likes and easy styles that you can rock and be confident in. You should probably just challenge yourself to ditch the weaves for a certain period of time and play with styles that you can rock at whatever length you are at. How long is your hair? What styles do you do?

 

[DarkJoy]

I can't help it. I love my hair! I used to hate the kinks, coils and naps (type 4b and beyond here). But now that I've gotten a handle on hair care, my hands rarely leave my 'fro!

I have been natural 6 years or so. I hid my hair in braids and lace fronts. Then came LHCF and YT and boom! I ditched those beesches as I learned. Forced myself to wear her out for like 6 months before I hid her away.

Now, mind you I BC'd a year ago next month to rid her of color damage. It's still short. I HATE me in short hair and not the hair itself, per se. It just makes me look older having NL-SL hair. So lately, I've been giving my hair a break to retain and to help out my bloated sense of vanity by rocking crochet braids. I love them too and it kills two birds with one stone!

It takes time. It's an adjustment, but you gotta FORCE yourself to do it and accept those bad hair days. They happen--but hell, they happen to Type 1s, 2s, and 3s too!

 

[Guinan]

I used to hate my hair too. Within the last couple of years, I've started to really like my hair. I'm still not in love with it but it will do. What changed it for me was becoming more educated about my hair texture, hair products and techniques that will help my hair thrive and look the way I wanted it to and feel the way I wanted it to feel.

I used to wear wigs 24-7 & had no clue how to care for my hair. I started taking baby steps & eventually I learned how to care for my hair. I think that weaves, wigs, braids etc... are great protective styles, but for me it became a hinderance b/c I didn't know squat a/b my hair. When I discovered this forum; I made a promise not to rely on wigs anymore & really learn how to care for my hair. Sometimes my hair doesnt looks so great & other times it looks fabulous.

Good Luck w/ your hair journey

 

[genesislocks]

For a long time I was in denial too! I "said" I loved my hair but there was no evidence of that. I constantly had extensions in my hair...

Fast Forward 2 years and 3 months and I'm FREE from my former broken mindset.

For me it took:
Phase 1: I cut my hair to EL. For some reason I was deathly afraid to cut my hair because I was afraid it wouldn't grow back...so for me this was a big deal smh At this time I forced myself to wear my hair out, and I flat ironed regularly so I didn't go insane

Phase 2: I went on a 6 month hair challenge. No heat, No surrender. 300 style. This forced me to FIND a way to love my hair in it's absolutely natural state. It started off easy then got harder as my heat trained hair grew out.

Phase 3: No Heat challenge ends in 4 days and I don't even feel like flat ironing (but I will though! Don't get it twisted ), I've finally learned to love my hair by find styles that look good on me and easy routines to maintain it.

Anyway, I like to draw parallels to hair and food/exercise...we may not like that we have to do it to maintain a certain "look" but if we change our mindset, find workout routines (like a sport) that we actually like and discipline ourselves to stick with it then we will reap the benefits of our hard work both physically and spiritually. And guess what! You will inspire other people to do the same.

 

[melisandre]

I'm definitely a long weave/wig addict. It makes me feel glamorous. Even if my real hair was as long as my weave, I would probably still wear fake hair for extra fullness/volume. Unfortunately, my hair is naturally fine/thin. I've accepted the fact that I'll probably never be 100% satisfied with my hair.

I also get more compliments and attention when wear long hair. Even my SO tells me how much he likes "my" long, beautiful hair. So, that makes it even harder for me to go without it and wear my real hair.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using LHCF

 

[Jewell]

I LOVE WiGS and weave, but I hardly ever wear it anymore as my SO hates wigs and weave. So I have a closet full of wigs sitting in their plastic cases not being worn. I saw a wig the other day I lusted over several yrs ago but never purchased. Well, I think I wil pick her up for the fall...I want to hide my hair for a while, but don't have patience for takedown of individual braids, and my hair is rather long to add extension hair to.

But yeah, when I purchased my first wig in 2006, I discovered the complex too!! I have like 15 now of all different colors, lengths, textures...from a neck length bob to a classic length remy wig. I love the variety of looks you can achieve with wigs and weaves. I will forever love them for the versatility. But I am satisfied with my hair in general, I just wish it was a lot longer than it is...but it's getting there!

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I had about 2 years of this with senagalese twists. I used to say that it was okay because it wasn't straight hair weaves. i wasn't like those "other girls" who wore weaves and wanted to be white. I was not only kidding myself but had a holier than thou attitude that must have stank. I thought because i had plaits i was accepting my african heritage. but i would still flick those things around like an 18 inch weave. Truly fully embracing my hair took practice and a lot of effort. It's personal and as soon as you start comparing yourself to other ppl its not going to work. Now i know that i love my hair most of the time. ( i wish it were longer, the length seems inadequate)

It took another two years to realise that spending large amounts on products is not the same as loving my hair but that's a different story

 

[prettybyrd]

As much as I would like to come in here raving about how much I loved my hair in all its natural glory beginning the day of my first BC, November 13, 1998, the truth is that it was a while before I did.

My problem with my hair was due to my inability to style it or find products that would work for my hair. Imagine, you're the only loose, non-heat trained natural you know, no products exist on the shelves of any BSS or drug stores for natural hair, and you're about five years away from learning about butters, coconut oil, co-washing, and ACV rinses. It was not a good time to go natural!

Once I was able to nail down a regimen and find products that worked with my hair I was golden.

[soapbox rant]

Whatever anyone's reasons for going natural, this is a mental process as well as physical. You don't just have to get used to dealing with a new/different texture of hair, you have to deal with the feelings and expectations you have about beauty and whether your natural hair compliments or detracts from your ideal. Just as important, you are making the decision to accept a part of you that family, friends, significant others, and sometimes even strangers, are going to tell you is not okay - and sometimes not worth accepting.

For that reason, I will always consider black women going natural to be a revolutionary act. Whether you went natural as a part of a trend, or for other reasons, there is a lot of power in the decision to accept and consider beautiful what so many don't, especially in a culture where what you look like is regarded with such importance.

[/soapbox rant]

 

[Bozcurls]

I hated my hair in the past too because I wanted it to do all the things it wasn't meant to do.

 

[CodeRed]

Good thread op. I'm always proud of people who can be truthful with themselves

Bozcurls - that's a good point also.

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I hated my hair in the past too because I wanted it to do all the things it wasn't meant to do.

you pretty much summed it up

 

[Whimsy]

(HUG)

What do you love about your hair? Is there anything?
IF not, what do you like about it?
What do you accept about it?

If you can't stand the length, what length would it have to be to make you like or love it?

Your hair is growing. You're just not retaining, so try to find a regi that works well for you to retain what's growing.
No use in hating your hair girl. It's what you've got. You now have to find a way to accept, then like, then love it.

You got this.

Maybe start by extending the times between taking your weave out and the new installation, and babying/pampering your hair. Give it some loving deep treatments, lube it up, try some styles etc...

Also, think of why the length=beauty to you. Do you feel masculine w/ it shorter? Do you just feel limited and less in control of your looks?
Figure out the source of your issue with the length.

Good luck. And kudos to you for an honest post.

I'm finding myself doing the inevitable. I'm hiding behind my weave. Yes, I love my brown skin. Yes, I like my big lips and nose. But sweet baby Jesus, I can't stand my hair! Maybe I should put it this way, I can't stand the LENGTH of my hair. (Since I wear kinky curly weaves).

I've been at this "hair journey" for a while now. Been natural for two years and transitioned for a year and a half before that with weaves. I've always had problems with my nape (not so much anymore thanks to jbco). Out of my frustration, I've turned to weaves because I think that I look better with longer hair. I would use the excuse that it's only a protective style, I love my hair. Now that I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I'm realizing that I'm lying! I take less pictures without a weave and I'm "less seen" because I don't have the same amount of confidence.

I didn't always feel this way about my hair. In the beginning when I first saw my curl pattern I had so much hope. I envisioned big fros and blocking students from seeing the professor in lecture and people asking me what I do to grow it. All of that honeymoon ish went out of the window when months passed and money was being spent trying to figure out what my hair likes. So that's when I went back to how I transitioned in the first place, weaves. Then I just figured, "hey, if my hair wants to act like this, I'll just keep wearing weaves". Next thing I know, I'm only seeing my real hair a couple of weeks at a time because now I just think I look better in weaves. When I look at my hair, I want to feel like I'm doing something right, but sometimes all I see is wrong.

Now that I realize this is how I feel about myself. I'm not getting another weave until next week (I know that's short, baby steps people. baby steps) and right now, I'm trying to fall in love with my hair again. When I took out my last weave a couple of days ago, I had way less breaking than usual and I feel good about that. It was mostly shedding. I did my wash routine and rod set my hair.

My question to you is, how did you fall in love with your hair? Did you ever fall out of love with your hair? If so, how did you fall back in love with your hair? If not, I think you should try.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I love my hair! My hair is natural. I haven't straightened it since I first started transitioning in 2010. I love the fullness of it. I love the feel of it. I usually wear it in twists in a bun or I take the twists out and bun it for work. On the weekends I usually wear a twistout. I enjoy my texture and I feel completely at home with my hair. I like the curly afro I get when it's humid. I like to put it in a big puff. I don't have any interest in straightening it.

The only thing I don't like is the gray! But I color that most of the time when I feel like it.

During my transition I had to let go of the idea that the only way my hair could be attractive was if it was straight. Now I like my hair big, full, lush and sometimes out of control.

 

[LexiDior]

I know the feeling.

In society have a vision of what beautiful hair looks like so we strive to achieve it. Truthfully we cant and its ok.

Think of your hair as a child-~ its mine, it came from me, it makes me sick sometimes, but I wouldnt change it for the world.~

 

[sounbeweavable]

I think the best way to love your hair is to wear it and treat it right. My hair isn't long and whipalicious like a lot of the posters here, but I like it because it's soft, healthy, and is growing at a decent speed.

You can't learn to love your hair if you're hiding it most of the time.

 

[*SkolarStar*]

...How long is your hair? What styles do you do?

Froreal3 My fro is 6 inches stretched at the top, 5 at the sides, and the back ranges from 1-5. Low density. My styles are limited to puffs (so I think).

... So I have a closet full of wigs sitting in their plastic cases not being worn. ...

Jewell Let me know when you sell those.

(HUG)

What do you love about your hair? Is there anything?
IF not, what do you like about it?
What do you accept about it?

...

Also, think of why the length=beauty to you. Do you feel masculine w/ it shorter? Do you just feel limited and less in control of your looks?
Figure out the source of your issue with the length.

Good luck. And kudos to you for an honest post.

Whimsy I like that it looks thicker when I flat iron it, which is once in a blue moon. I like that it looks thicker overall. I accept the curls. Length means beauty because it's all I've ever seen. Dolls, tv shows, magazines, and people always complimented me more when I had longer lengths. Therefore, I think I'm prettier with longer hair. Overall, there's more to do with longer hair than short.

 

[overtherainbow]

*SkolarStar*

I was dependent of weaves for the entire spring semester of my freshman year (though I used straight clip ins) and during this time, I was super self conscious of my real hair, which was an awkward length from being tripled processed and heat damaged. I HATED my hair, and if for some reason I couldn't wear my extensions, I would slap on a hat and hope no one noticed.

I was able to love my hair again just out of pure coincidence. It was a really hot summer, I had a very demanding job, and I just didn't have time to straighten my hair and blend my extensions before work. So I took up bunning for the entire summer in an attempt to hide my "ugly" length
By the end of summer I went from CBL to grazing shoulder length, even though I still blow dried my hair (On high ) on a weekly bases. At this time I was also relaxing my hair every 7 weeks (my hair hated relaxer stretching)

When I returned to school in late august, sans weave, I recieved a lot of compliments on my hair, which boosted my confidence. I was also really happy that I did not have to work so hard on my hair every morning. By letting go of the extensions cold turkey, I was able to really see what my hair could do.

If I were you, I would just let the weaves go for now and work with your hair. (But I bet you already knew that, right?) I would also try to figure out what's the root of your dislike for your length, besides the media glorifying long hair. I know for me, I was struggling because I hated my relaxed hair, but thought I didn't have the "good" natural hair.

Hope I helped

 

[*SkolarStar*]

*SkolarStar*

I was dependent of weaves for the entire spring semester of my freshman year (though I used straight clip ins) and during this time, I was super self conscious of my real hair, which was an awkward length from being tripled processed and heat damaged. I HATED my hair, and if for some reason I couldn't wear my extensions, I would slap on a hat and hope no one noticed.

I was able to love my hair again just out of pure coincidence. It was a really hot summer, I had a very demanding job, and I just didn't have time to straighten my hair and blend my extensions before work. So I took up bunning for the entire summer in an attempt to hide my "ugly" length
By the end of summer I went from CBL to grazing shoulder length, even though I still blow dried my hair (On high ) on a weekly bases. At this time I was also relaxing my hair every 7 weeks (my hair hated relaxer stretching)

When I returned to school in late august, sans weave, I recieved a lot of compliments on my hair, which boosted my confidence. I was also really happy that I did not have to work so hard on my hair every morning. By letting go of the extensions cold turkey, I was able to really see what my hair could do.

If I were you, I would just let the weaves go for now and work with your hair. (But I bet you already knew that, right?) I would also try to figure out what's the root of your dislike for your length, besides the media glorifying long hair. I know for me, I was struggling because I hated my relaxed hair, but thought I didn't have the "good" natural hair.

Hope I helped

Thanks overtherainbow! I know that I need to let the weaves go for now, but it's so haaard to say goodbyyyyye to yesterdaaaaaayyyyy. It's just so much more work into wearing my real hair out. The twisting, the untangling, etc.

 

[Mskraizy]

Personally, I find that I start falling out of love with my hair when I pay too much attention to other people's growth and success with their hair because then there comes the immediate

"WHY ISN'T MY HAIR AS LONG AND BEAUTIFUL AS HERS!!!? UGGGGH!!!!"

And then I'd write out this super complex regimen involving all the things my hairspirations do that I end up falling off of the next couple of weeks...

I would say, get to know your hair again. I know it's just hair and at the end of the day, all it really is a million strands on your head. But to have confidence in something, you gotta love it, and to love it you gotta learn it. I think weaves may be your crutch for now, doesn't mean you don't love your hair it's just that your hair has probably become a stranger to you.

Don't be scurred. Your hair has been with you since you were born, your hair doesn't want to make you ugly, it wants to beautify you and make you glamorous. You just gotta know what works for you. It's all trial 'n error, pretty soon, everything will be good and gravy...

....
Did I answer anything you asked? I feel I completely drifted off topic..

 

[k_enitan]

I can freely admit that I hate my hair with a passion and that I look better with my wigs....because the density is so low and the strands are fine and on top of that I have patchy hair-loss especially on top and temple area. I don't give a hoot about texture and in fact I am getting okay with the low density/fine hair part...all I want is for it to be evenly(or almost) distributed.

It s what it is...I don't think you can love what is not right (though you might get to accept it) and I just feel mine is not.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I loved having a TWA and have been natural most of my life like that. It was so easy to wash and moisturize.

Now I'm in that "in between" length phase I cant stand it. I like my natural hair, but can't wait for it to be longer and even all over.

I actually think the most damaging part of wearing weaves and wigs is the thickness. If you have quite thin - medium hair it's hard to go from a lions mane to thin hair. I do think thicker wigs have made me see my own hair as less glam.

 

[Nazaneen]

are you finding that the weaves are causing damage and stunting your progress in any way? If not, then I don't see why you can't just keep on wearing them while growing your hair out to a length that you're more comfortable with. Maybe in another year you'll have another 6 inches and be shoulder length stretched...
If they are damaging your hair then, you're between a rock and hard place. Deal with your hair or lose it and in that case I would look into other styles...