Natural hair aint for everybody!

[Meemee6223]

Since going natural everyone wants to talk to me about hair. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people say natural hair aint for everybody. They dont say i shouldnt be natural but I can't help but think that they are referring to me. I learned to accept my hair for what it is a long time ago. It doesn't hurt my feelings if people feel this way but I don't see the logic. People say if your hair is not 3c, big ol curls you aren't meant to be natural. How can the hair that you were born with not be meant for you? So I went online to see what I could find about people making this kind of statement and I was surprise to see so many YouTube videos of people saying that everybody's not meant to be natural and I just do not understand that. What are your thoughts on this? I'm sure this topic has been touched on many times on this site however this is new to me so I'd like to know how u all feel about this.
Or if there is a thread on this subject please feel free to direct me to it.

This is the first video I found when inquiring about other's thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hlW9kyxQ08

 

[Postal]

I think that saying "everybody's not meant to be natural" is a wrong way to put. Obviously we were meant for it if we were born with it. But I think the prevailing thought behind that statement is that not everybody should have to accept the hair the way it grows out of their head. And I agree with that. If you don't like it curly and coily, straighten. No big deal. Everybody doesn't want to have to deal with the challenges of natural hair.

 

[summertimewine]

I think the message is coming out wrong. What I hope people mean, is that they themselves feel as though taking the natural route isn't something they want to do. But if randoms are just saying "Natural hair isn't for everyone" and is pointing people out and talking about others, that's seriously wrong. No one has a right to judge someone based on their life choices. Literally someone going natural isn't effecting your life in anyway, why do you have to be negative about it and try and bring someone's self esteem down because you aren't comfortable with their hair. Time to swerve.

 

[Meemee6223]

I think that saying "everybody's not meant to be natural" is a wrong way to put. Obviously we were meant for it if we were born with it. But I think the prevailing thought behind that statement is that not everybody should have to accept the hair the way it grows out of their head. And I agree with that. If you don't like it curly and coily, straighten. No big deal. Everybody doesn't want to have to deal with the challenges of natural hair.

ITA with that. If you don't like the way your natural hair looks then by all means relax it. But don't condemn the next person for choosing to embrace their natural hair. Trust me, when those people I've encountered say "errbody aint meant to be natural" theyre not referring to the ease of styling. They are referring to the way it looks.

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

I think it's not that people aren't accepting what they were born with. I feel it's more of people have their own preference on how they want their hair to look even if they do know how to care for it naturally or not. There are plenty of naturals who are still learning about their hair and how to care for it just the same for relexed, texlax and everything else. It doesn't bother me one way or the other and I just say do what makes you happy with your hair you know. As long as it's healthy doesn't matter if natural isn't for everyone.

 

[Meemee6223]

I think the message is coming out wrong. What I hope people mean, is that they themselves feel as though taking the natural route isn't something they want to do. But if randoms are just saying "Natural hair isn't for everyone" and is pointing people out and talking about others, that's seriously wrong. No one has a right to judge someone based on their life choices. Literally someone going natural isn't effecting your life in anyway, why do you have to be negative about it and try and bring someone's self esteem down because you aren't comfortable with their hair. Time to swerve.

One lady said " I saw a girl the other day and it look like she tried to put her natural hair in a ponytail but it didn't quite lay down. Those beedy bees was sticking up all over her head! " My thinking was what business is it of yours? Black people judge naturals more than any other race! This is my opinion based on my short experience as a natural.

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

ITA with that. If you don't like the way your natural hair looks then by all means relax it. But don't condemn the next person for choosing to embrace their natural hair. Trust me, when those people I've encountered say "natural hair aint for errbody" theyre not referring to the ease of styling. They are referring to the way it looks.

The last part is very true too

 

[Theresamonet]

I think the statement: "everyone isnt meant to be natural", is odd, untrue, and offensive (depending on the motive). Everyone is meant to be natural. Its the way we were born and the way we would be if not for modern advances, and for some... If we didnt live in a eurocentric society.

A better statement would be, "everyone doesnt WANT to be natural". That is totally true and unoffensive, because it makes it about personal choice; and not about who isnt meant to be, based on some unknown standards...and known, since its obvious who usually falls into the "not meant to be" catagory .

 

[Meemee6223]

I think the statement: "everyone isnt meant to be natural", is odd, untrue, and offensive (depending on the motive). Everyone is meant to be natural. Its the way we were born and the way we would be if not for modern advances, and for some... If we didnt live in a eurocentric society.

A better statement would be, "everyone doesnt WANT to be natural". That is totally true and unoffensive, because it makes it about personal choice; and not about who isnt meant to be, based on some unknown (and obvious :rolleyes) standards.

I wish I could thank this more than once!

 

[isawstars]

A better statement would be, "everyone doesnt WANT to be natural".

I respectfully disagree.

After my personal experience of being natural for two years, I believe a person's decision to be natural is dependent upon their lifestyle.

I would still be natural if I wasn't so active. I train 5 days a week and sometimes even twice a day... resulting in a scalp requiring co-washing. This would be absolutely fine for my lifestyle if only my natural hair was OK with being manipulated that often, but its not. As my hair grew longer it became a bigger issue. Of course, I could have just kept my hair short as a natural but I prefer long hair. So I returned to texlaxing and am very happy with my decision although I miss having my "natural card."

Yes, there are many naturals who exercise regularly with no issues but we've established on this board many times that everyone's hair is different. What works for someone does not work for someone else... especially with the different textures found in natural hair.

I believe this also applies to women who work in the Caucasian dominated corporate world and cannot afford to "figure out" how to properly style natural hair... I definitely had an "ugly" hair phase when I was learning styling techniques.

Those are only 2 of the many lifestyles that people have... and it's just like eating healthy. We all want to eat healthy but not all of us have the time or money to do it, so we must find other ways... such as buying frozen veggies/meals, cooking meals in advance, getting groceries delivered, etc.

So ultimately, I believe people say it isn't for everyone because people have different lifestyles and natural hair doesn't fit in it. Nothing is wrong with that because at the end of the day, it's just hair.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I respectfully disagree.

After my personal experience of being natural for two years, I believe a person's decision to be natural is dependent upon their lifestyle.

I would still be natural if I wasn't so active. I train 5 days a week and sometimes even twice a day... resulting in a scalp requiring co-washing. This would be absolutely fine for my lifestyle if only my natural hair was OK with being manipulated that often, but its not. As my hair grew longer it became a bigger issue. Of course, I could have just kept my hair short as a natural but I prefer long hair. So I returned to texlaxing and am very happy with my decision although I miss having my "natural card."

Yes, there are many naturals who exercise regularly with no issues but we've established on this board many times that everyone's hair is different. What works for someone does not work for someone else... especially with the different textures found in natural hair.

I believe this also applies to women who work in the Caucasian dominated corporate world and cannot afford to "figure out" how to properly style natural hair... I definitely had an "ugly" hair phase when I was learning styling techniques.

Those are only 2 of the many lifestyles that people have... and it's just like eating healthy. We all want to eat healthy but not all of us have the time or money to do it, so we must find other ways... such as buying frozen veggies/meals, cooking meals in advance, getting groceries delivered, etc.

So ultimately, I believe people say it isn't for everyone because people have different lifestyles and natural hair doesn't fit in it. Nothing is wrong with that because at the end of the day, it's just hair.

What you're saying may well be true but usually the people saying it's not for everyone are turning their noses up at someone who doesn't have "good hurr".

 

[isawstars]

What you're saying may well be true but usually the people saying it's not for everyone are turning their noses up at someone who doesn't have "good hurr".

You're right. And I cannot speak for those people because they went natural for the wrong reasons, IMO.

 

[RocStar]

I respectfully disagree.

If you want to be natural, then you will. If you want to be healthy then you will. You have the choice and the power (sans any health issues). The decision may not be easy and it may mean you have to alter your lifestyle, do thing differently, wake up earlier, whatever, if you want to have natural hair you will have it. If you want relaxed hair, you will have it. It just depends on what you decide is important for you and your life.

 

[dyh080]

I think that saying "everybody's not meant to be natural" is a wrong way to put. Obviously we were meant for it if we were born with it. But I think the prevailing thought behind that statement is that not everybody should have to accept the hair the way it grows out of their head. And I agree with that. If you don't like it curly and coily, straighten. No big deal. Everybody doesn't want to have to deal with the challenges of natural hair.

Very few naturals wear the hair "they were born with", unless they came from the womb with a straightening comb.

 

[Theresamonet]

I respectfully disagree.

After my personal experience of being natural for two years, I believe a person's decision to be natural is dependent upon their lifestyle.

I would still be natural if I wasn't so active. I train 5 days a week and sometimes even twice a day... resulting in a scalp requiring co-washing. This would be absolutely fine for my lifestyle if only my natural hair was OK with being manipulated that often, but its not. As my hair grew longer it became a bigger issue. Of course, I could have just kept my hair short as a natural but I prefer long hair. So I returned to texlaxing and am very happy with my decision although I miss having my "natural card."

Yes, there are many naturals who exercise regularly with no issues but we've established on this board many times that everyone's hair is different. What works for someone does not work for someone else... especially with the different textures found in natural hair.

I believe this also applies to women who work in the Caucasian dominated corporate world and cannot afford to "figure out" how to properly style natural hair... I definitely had an "ugly" hair phase when I was learning styling techniques.

Those are only 2 of the many lifestyles that people have... and it's just like eating healthy. We all want to eat healthy but not all of us have the time or money to do it, so we must find other ways... such as buying frozen veggies/meals, cooking meals in advance, getting groceries delivered, etc.

So ultimately, I believe people say it isn't for everyone because people have different lifestyles and natural hair doesn't fit in it. Nothing is wrong with that because at the end of the day, it's just hair.

Your lifestyle choices have nothing to do with how your hair is naturally meant to be. You have chosen to no longer be natural because it does not fit the lifestyle and the look you want. That is about preference. Bottom line is, your natural hair is a fixed part of you and your lifestyle is relative. Nature is always the default.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I agree with the statement that "natural hair isn't for everybody". I just think there is a better way to say that so people understand what I mean. What I mean/think of when I say that is that is that just because your born with a feature doesn't mean that that particular look maximizes your potential to look your best. If that were the case the cosmetic/beauty industry wouldn't be so popular and makeover shows wouldn't be so mind-blowing. Some people do enhance their beauty by coloring , straightening, or adding weave to their hair. Most people look better with styled cut ends than the longest hair that they can possibly grow. Effortless beauty is certainly a blessing. However little effort to enhance your beauty can go a long way with hair(styling options), skin (makeup/skincare), body (working out/eating right). Natural(fill in the blank) isn't always going to be the most flattering look for a person. When something natural and effortless is our best look it's something to be grateful for.

 

[isawstars]

Your lifestyle choices have nothing to do with how your hair is naturally meant to be.

Yes and I agree with that. I never said it did-- maybe I was unclear in my post.

All I am saying is that one's lifestyle may be one of the reasons why people say "natural hair isn't for everyone" because as a society we always want to find a way to make our lives easier.

 

[silenttullip]

they may not say it the best way but I think they mean
a) it doesn't look good on everyone (and I'm my own opinion it doesn't) or
b) everyone won't willingly take care of it. I've heard an ex often times say (some women go natural as an excuse to be lazy so they walk out looking crazy) I do see some women and you can see lint and its not done like matted.
or they mean
c) they personally are afraid to do it so wanna take a shot and make you feel insecure.

people say stuff not thinking you'll care or hoping you will. Leave em where they are keep it movin

 

[Theresamonet]

Yes and I agree with that. I never said it did-- maybe I was unclear in my post.

All I am saying is that one's lifestyle may be one of the reasons why people say "natural hair isn't for everyone" because as a society we always want to find a way to make our lives easier.

they may not say it the best way but I think they mean
a) it doesn't look good on everyone (and I'm my own opinion it doesn't) or
b) everyone won't willingly take care of it. I've heard an ex often times say (some women go natural as an excuse to be lazy so they walk out looking crazy) I do see some women and you can see lint and its not done like matted.
or they mean
c) they personally are afraid to do it so wanna take a shot and make you feel insecure.

people say stuff not thinking you'll care or hoping you will. Leave em where they are keep it movin

Maybe we are just arguing semantics at this point. From the examples you two are giving, im hearing...

Everyone...

can't handle being natural...
doesn't like being natural...
isn't brave enough to be natural...

Etc...

Im not getting how that means they werent "meant to be" natural. But maybe my idea of something "meant to be" is different than yours.

silenttullip When you say everyone doesn't look good natural... Do you feel it's the texture that makes them not look good, or the way they style their hair?

 

[Ann0804]

I was at a conference reading a book on my ipad a month ago when I heard this statement followed by that's why you need to know what kind of hair you have before going natural.

I looked up to see where the ignorance came from and it got ghostly quiet. Luckily for the culprit I could not identify them, because I don't mind ripping ignorant people a new a$$ hole.

People should realize that not everyone wants white people's hair. Yes I said it.

 

[Theresamonet]

I was at a conference reading a book on my ipad a month ago when I heard this statement followed by that's why you need to know what kind of hair you have before going natural.

I looked up to see where the ignorance came from and it got ghostly quiet. Luckily for the culprit I could not identify them, because I don't mind ripping ignorant people a new a$$ hole.

People should realize that not everyone wants white people's hair. Yes I said it.

Wait... Were they talking about you??

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I don't think afros are for everybody.

The first time I saw Macy Gray with straight hair I immediately thought she looked the best that I'd ever seen her.

Some people need hair to hang around (or cover) their face.

It's not about texture because braids, twists and locs can replicate straight styles. But an afro is unforgiving of a large forehead, a football or bowling ball shaped head, being facially unfortunate, etc.

 

[Ms Lala]

I don't think afros are for everybody.

The first time I saw Macy Gray with straight hair I immediately thought she looked the best that I'd ever seen her.

Some people need hair to hang around (or cover) their face.

It's not about texture because braids, twists and locs can replicate straight styles. But an afro is unforgiving of a large forehead, a football or bowling ball shaped head, being facially unfortunate, etc.

facially unfortunate LOL

 

[ckisland]

^ I look terrible with afro. It is most definitely not a good look for everyone, but that should be obvious because there's no one style (natural or otherwise) that looks good on everyone .

I also hate when someone says that natural hair isn't for everyone. Because it's not like it's a person whose hair grows out as snakes or something crazy like that. Natural hair is a genetic trait of hundreds of millions of people, so if it also grows out of your scalp, I promise that it wasn't a mistake . Saying that everyone doesn't want natural hair sounds completely reasonable without necessarily being offensive. I would compare it to someone saying that their nose or eyes aren't for them, but then I remembered that people actually feel that way and take steps to "correct" them .
I am not into changing my body or face, although it has been suggested for medical/cosmetic reasons, because I love everything I've got because it was given to me. My preference is natural hair, no weave, no fake eyelashes, no fake nails, no contouring no body-shapers, and I'm anti-plastic surgery. But I don't have to live with your face, body, or hair everyday of my life, so I'm not telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do .

 

[ghanagirl23]

That statement just needs to rephrased to something like not everyone wants to be natural I know I don't I have nothing against people who are natural I have gone natural twice but I just prefer straight hair I don't hate my self I just don't have time to deal with shrinkage detangling and what not to me at the end of the day its JUST hair whatever someone chooses to do to their hair is up to them

 

[Ogoma]

Can please stop with the 'it doesn't work in the corporate world' nonsense. I went natural when I worked in IB. I worked in the FIG group so interacted with PE and VC firms. It didn't stop me from being promoted or bringing in business.

 

[bellebebe]

I hate it when non-natural heads get defensive about their reason for not being natural. Like... sht!! Ain't nobody asked you. Dang!! Anyway, I understand, OP. But you know what? It is what it is & fact is, it really depends on the person.

Sent from my sexy phone.

 

[jcdlox]

I don't think afros are for everybody.

The first time I saw Macy Gray with straight hair I immediately thought she looked the best that I'd ever seen her.

Some people need hair to hang around (or cover) their face.

It's not about texture because braids, twists and locs can replicate straight styles. But an afro is unforgiving of a large forehead, a football or bowling ball shaped head, being facially unfortunate, etc.

facially unfortunate LMBO! Imma use that!

 

[alive]

I think that saying "everybody's not meant to be natural" is a wrong way to put. Obviously we were meant for it if we were born with it. But I think the prevailing thought behind that statement is that not everybody should have to accept the hair the way it grows out of their head. And I agree with that. If you don't like it curly and coily, straighten. No big deal. Everybody doesn't want to have to deal with the challenges of natural hair.

I agree with Postal. It's kind of like nail color. Some people stay natural -- others like to use nail polish or faux nails. No biggie