Natural Hair Extremism... Discuss!

[LuvlyRain3]

The only versatility they don't condone is straightening. I do more with my natural hair than I ever did with my relaxed hair.

Most of the people who go on np.com KNOW about relaxers and pressing. They log on to learn about dealing their natural hair. And learn to love it. As I said in a previous post some women have a hard time with going natural and the only support system is the board. And to advocate altering texture could be counter productive. That's all

Didn't someone say that they don't like talk of "out" styles?? And I will never understand what their issue is with straightening. Just because someone is natural and wants to straighten didn't mean that they have issues with their image as a black person. Encourage self-acceptance by encouraging self confidence not by discouraging or insulting the behaviors or styles of other black women. Flaming tool of hair torture?? Really?? That is definitely a bit much for me.



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[Spring]

no.

There are degrees to everything. Is wearing my hair flat ironed pure evil? no. But, if I am natural but would not DARE to walk out the house without being flat ironed, have I really accepted my hair? It can be said the same for those ONLY ONLY ONLY wear twist outs. Always wanting to get the "good hair" look.

np.com is about saying "hey, my hair doesn't need to be 'fixed'". We talk about styling options, care and the politics behind hair. And for those who don't believe there is issues within our community with hair, do you also believe that there is not an issue with skin tone?

There's styling options and there are crutches.

There is only really a problem when new people come up on the board whining about why they can't talk about perms.

I like this board. and hope to become more active in it. But I just can't sit by when the real message of np.com is twisted.

Unfortunately, it's not just hair and skin tone though, a lot of men prefer big breast and butts, so should the skinny ladies now start projecting negativity towards those who are more voluptuous because of these preferences by society? I think they should learn to love themselves and change what they can if they so choose to, but people will always have preferences.

 

[Trenell]

Didn't someone say that they don't like talk of "out" styles?? And I will never understand what their issue is with straightening. Just because someone is natural and wants to straighten didn't mean that they have issues with their image as a black person. Encourage self-acceptance by encouraging self confidence not by discouraging or insulting the behaviors or styles of other black women. Flaming tool of hair torture?? Really?? That is definitely a bit much for me.

What? no! hahah. It was a discussion about whether are not some women use twist outs as a means of hiding their natural hair. And it was a huge mess of a thread with people of both sides.

And that flat iron can be torture on the hair. It's being burnt into submission. Every time I do it I KNOW I'm taking a huge chance. I did think it was a bit much, changing words, but the truth can be much.

The board doesn't spend the entire day talking about "We hate perms and the women who use them"

 

[Irresistible]

I truly am sorry you got a negative vibe from np.com. I do mean that.

Just one more question (maybe , ha) Was the negative vibe something a poster said? Or just the fact that they don't condone talk of altering texture?

omg girl, for serious? you mean you haven't been witness to the negative vibes, this is so not nothing new. Sorry but I'm gonna call it like I have seen it and felt it, there are a bunch of 'superior minded' naturals going around condemning others with some pure hate. I just have a hard time believing you ain't seent it yourself. or maybe you just don't perceive it that way? I know I ain't the only one up in hea up in hea talking about all the 'extra' stress and drama. My eyes arent the only eyes that see what is and has been going on for a LOOONG LOONNG time. There is no way to justify attack on others and divisions amongst us ova some hair. That ish is whack!

trust me this mentality is not doing any of us the better, not in the real big picture. I cannot really tell ALL the things my eyes have seen, and FAR from just directed at me, or a 'vibe I got' , nope

 

[nappystorm]

Nahhh, not roasted, just asked not to use it as your avatar.
And, no doubt, there are some "natural nazis" But i just wanted to say that np.com is not only those types. I don't think I am.

See? There goes the extraness somebody mentioned.

I stan for great healthy hair. I don't discriminate based on age, length, gender, texture, relaxed, natural, loced, race none of that. If you got the porn, I'm dimming the lights, getting my KY Jelly and going to work I kid. I kid.

I'm subscribed to and follow some girls that are on that site so I know there are some sweethearts over there.

 

[Janet']

...Everything ain't for everybody, but I knew that when I started using Dominican blowouts as a transitioning method, I had to cut ties with np.com... (although I would have preferred not to because there were and still are some very knowledgeable ladies on that forum). I appreciate them for what/who they are, but there was a very obvious fork in the road and it was time for me to go my way... Even in the cyberworld, I'm not trying to have added stress in my life because someone equated heat with self-hate...Yes, that is true for some but not for all, and certainly, not for me...

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

I truly am sorry you got a negative vibe from np.com. I do mean that.

Just one more question (maybe , ha) Was the negative vibe something a poster said? Or just the fact that they don't condone talk of altering texture?

You didnt ask me, but I was at NP for a long time, at least a year or so and the general overall tone of the board was quite natzi-like. IMO. Of course not EVERYONE was like that for sure, but it was the overall tone that I got from various threads and many many posts over there.

I respect the site and it just wasnt for me, which was why I left.

 

[Trenell]

omg girl, for serious? you mean you haven't been witness to the negative vibes, this is so not nothing new.

You misunderstood me. Heck yeah I've seen people be nasty. I don't like it. And many times, they are called on their nasty. (Like many other boards) What I was getting at was if your main problem was the rules, well, not much can be done with that... But if it was b/c of nasty posters, well, that is a small number.

I will say this. I've been a member since the beginning, then took a hiatus, and came back about 4 years ago. The talk around the water cooler is that the site did get rougish and mean, but eventually that foolishness was stopped.

 

[Trenell]

See? There goes the extraness somebody mentioned.

I stan for great healthy hair. I don't discriminate based on age, length, gender, texture, relaxed, natural, loced, race none of that. If you got the porn, I'm dimming the lights, getting my KY Jelly and going to work I kid. I kid.
.

hahahah! I love a good head......of hair myself.

 

[LuvlyRain3]

What? no! hahah. It was a discussion about whether are not some women use twist outs as a means of hiding their natural hair. And it was a huge mess of a thread with people of both sides.

And that flat iron can be torture on the hair. It's being burnt into submission. Every time I do it I KNOW I'm taking a huge chance. I did think it was a bit much, changing words, but the truth can be much.

The board doesn't spend the entire day talking about "We hate perms and the women who use them"

I get what your saying but I used to frequent np all the time. Just for hair care information. Everyone I tried to really get into a thread I would get turned off by one if these women whose egos seemed to be attached to how "natural" their hair is. I just didn't have time for it. Some of their ways and efforts and views seem to be more detrimental than they are helpful.


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[naheda72]

I agree that some on np can be over the top, but I have seen just as much rudeness and "extraness" over here, just for different reasons. I go by the rules there, I go by the rules here. I do think some over there go a little overboard about discussions of "defining curls" and length. But that is not a board rule, I believe that falls into some members' insecurities. Those people are handled just like some who step out of bounds on this site. I am over here more because my focus has changed to obtaining longer lengths, while over there it was more about obtaining info on how to care for my 4b hair. I don't think it is fair to judge members on np with a broad brush, I think a lot of members over here can be very rude and judgemental, but people are people. I am not sugar coating what goes on, but it seems like some are implying that every post, picture, etc., incurs drama, which is far from the truth.

 

[Trenell]

I get what your saying but I used to frequent np all the time. Just for hair care information. Everyone I tried to really get into a thread I would get turned off by one if these women whose egos seemed to be attached to how "natural" their hair is. I just didn't have time for it. Some of their ways and efforts and views seem to be more detrimental than they are helpful.

To some.

I agree, np.com is not for everyone. They are hardcore natural advocates. Heck someone has to be. . And most of the time, the sass comes when people join for the sole purpose to diss the board.

 

[Irresistible]

You misunderstood me. Heck yeah I've seen people be nasty. I don't like it. And many times, they are called on their nasty. (Like many other boards) What I was getting at was if your main problem was the rules, well, not much can be done with that... But if it was b/c of nasty posters, well, that is a small number.

I will say this. I've been a member since the beginning, then took a hiatus, and came back about 4 years ago. The talk around the water cooler is that the site did get rougish and mean, but eventually that foolishness was stopped.

I actually wasnt trying to do anything about it tho

If you been around there since the beginning, cause umm I was too, and you were gone just a few years, I know you didn't have your head in the sand or somethin. You know what is going on there and has been. You can't deduce it down to just a few crazies/a few rare threads and what they 'don't generally do all day..... many of us have seen it all for ourselves by now. most of us are not just some hair rookies here that you can re-sell the mentality and purpose of Np to now.......most of us did find out for ourselves....and it wasnt nothing pretty,we already been burnt *no pun intended* and have no intention of getting re-burnt, re burning ourselves out with that nonsense

I personally did see the need for such support but on the other hand I fully rejected the division it ended up causing. We can go around acting like something malignant is benign all day. Don't change the fact that it's a Cancer and it's growing, Throwing sand on that wont change it. Each person will decide for themselves where they stand on the issue. Many are telling you WE KNOW what we seen and know what we know and have decided where we stand

 

[Trenell]

You can't deduce it down to just a few crazies/a few rare threads and what they 'don't generally do all day.....

Oh, but I can. My head is not buried in the sand. I honestly don't feel it's one big board of hate. Maybe you and I have just different ideas of what is considered negative vibes.

 

[LuvlyRain3]

Why can't people just be for healthy black hair?? Why does it all have to come down to distorting peoples personal preferences. This is why I love nc. I can find out whatever I want about natural hair (for the most part) and monkeys bra strap gets too tight. Hasthe thought ever accord that maybe if black women learned how to properly manage their hair that we wouldn't have all these issues??

This is how I see it. Right now I am learning how to care for my hair. If/when I have a daughter I plan to teach her the same thing. I'll show her how style her hair, how to use heat and the versatility that comes with our hair. By doing this you can teach your child how to love their hair for what it is. In a perfect world all black women would do this and deciding to get a relaxer or heat train would simply be a matter of preference and not what some might see as a deeply rooted sense of self hate that was passed down from generation to generation. I loved my hair when I was relaxed. I bcd out of curiosity I just happen to prefer my natural hair. I would never turn my nose up at anyone for doing what they want to their hair or try to psychoanalyze (sp?) them.

Sorry I had to vent...

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[Irresistible]

I agree that some on np can be over the top, but I have seen just as much rudeness and "extraness" over here, just for different reasons. I go by the rules there, I go by the rules here. I do think some over there go a little overboard about discussions of "defining curls" and length. But that is not a board rule, I believe that falls into some members' insecurities. Those people are handled just like some who step out of bounds on this site. I am over here more because my focus has changed to obtaining longer lengths, while over there it was more about obtaining info on how to care for my 4b hair. I don't think it is fair to judge members on np with a broad brush, I think a lot of members over here can be very rude and judgemental, but people are people. I am not sugar coating what goes on, but it seems like some are implying that every post, picture, etc., incurs drama, which is far from the truth.

just saying how can you change a person's personal feelings and account of what happened or what they felt they witnessed there. Some of us are more comfortable here regardless of what goes on and are not comfortable there. You cant make anyone accept that board by comparison to this one. This is crazy some of us are making grown a** woman decisions about where we want to log in and where we will pay to spend our time based on our own sound reasons. There is nothing more to that. we just didn't embrace the tone of the board. And on that board many don't embrace this one. we all know that's the truth. The thing is one view is 'tolerance' one is not, Those who want to go to both boards , great, those that want to be on only one , that's great too. We made our own sound judgments based on a whole tone of a board not a few members. I do find it funny that anyone that has a problem with the general tone of Np is now insecure tho-that is really a stretch

Edit: I did re read your post, and saw you were saying the 'extra' stuff over there falls into their insecurities, so I read wrong. This is what I get for trying to intently post on a serious topic on a board that my heart is out of now totally (not the board the topic), it's just old. and doing other things around my house at the same time-but I have to say I agree with you on that point actually

 

[Irresistible]

Oh, but I can. My head is not buried in the sand. I honestly don't feel it's one big board of hate. Maybe you and I have just different ideas of what is considered negative vibes.

ok (ten characters)

 

[Trenell]

In a perfect world all black women would do this and deciding to get a relaxer or heat train would simply be a matter of preference and not what some might see as a deeply rooted sense of self hate that was passed down from generation to generation.

In our non-perfect world, it's both.

 

[Carrie A]

In our non-perfect world, it's both.

Are you Trenell with the fiery red hair? If so luv it!

 

[Spring]

The only versatility they don't condone is straightening. I do more with my natural hair than I ever did with my relaxed hair.

Most of the people who go on np.com KNOW about relaxers and pressing. They log on to learn about dealing their natural hair. And learn to love it. As I said in a previous post some women have a hard time with going natural and the only support system is the board. And to advocate altering texture could be counter productive. That's all

The negativity towards options and liberties of other people is more detrimental and counter productive to the esteem of these women. I think a true support system would address this along with accepting all that comes with transitioning.

 

[Trenell]

Are you Trenell with the fiery red hair? If so luv it!

that would be me

 

[loshed]

Y'all can talk sh!t about NP all you want but I will forever be grateful for it. There are more places now but for the longest time NP was the only board that focused on natural hair and how to take care of it. Yes, they will come for your *** if you come up in there talking about "heat heat relaxer heat" but it's clearly stated in their mission that they don't want to hear that noise. So why are you gonna go over there talking about "relaxers aren't so bad guise" and then get all mad and call them crazy when they flip out. They said they don't want to hear it. NP is all about going hard for natural hair and they make NO secret of it. I don't go there much anymore since I think I've learned all I can there but I happy there is one place on the internet that is no holds barred all about loving natural hair.