Does your family's lack of hair knowledge bother you??

[GaiasDaughter24]

My family has the knowledge. Both my mom and my sister have gone natural and BC'd. I guess my issue is that they have all the right products, know what they need to do and not do and just do things half assed. They're like "I can't wait for my hair to get to your length so I can____". But I keep telling them by not covering your hair when you sleep, combing your hair everyday to have a fro will keep setting you back. My mom and sister are super lazy when it comes to their hair. I think they thought being natural was easier and they didn't need to do too much but at the same time they want long hair. I'm confused LOL

 

[Carisa]

Absolutely! I never try to give out hair advice, they just pay too much attention and then criticize me for it. Just yesterday, I had some OCT in my hair with a plastic cap on, and my sister (who will color her full head of hair over again each month instead of just touching up the roots and at 21 has a couple of small bald spots around her crown) proceeded to huff and puff and ask, "What are you doing? You're always doing something to your hair!" like the simple thought of me nurturing my hair burns her soul (a la Jill Scott). I wanted to tell her, sweetheart, this is a protein treatment, if you used one, your hair would be on your head and not all over the sink! Like it's my fault you go anywhere from 4-6 weeks without washing your hair. No, that's not an exaggeration, 4-6 weeks, sometimes 8!

My mother, who is relaxed and gets permanent color and highlights and gets a smoking hot iron pressed to her hair every other week , has a comment about every product I buy. I bought something, I think it was John Frieda conditioner, and she went on to say, "That's not for our hair, that's for 'stringy' hair." I'm thinking to myself, 'our' hair? How are you gonna say what's good for natural hair and you haven't had it in 30 years?! Let alone the fact you felt the need to relax my hair at 4 years old because you didn't know how to deal with it.

She still 'greases' her scalp, and whenever the two of them have a conversation about hair color, she claims her hair is not damaged. :scratchch I guess you wouldn't know how damaged your hair is when you have a short haircut and get it trimmed every 2 weeks. She also complains about her scissor-happy stylist who's been doing her hair for over 10 years and only has clients with short hair. She'll never have long hair just for that reason alone. Trust me, she does want long hair, but every time she grows it out it stops growing at...you guessed it: her shoulders.

Every time I straighten my hair, she comments on how long it's gotten, yet when she asks what I've been doing, she stops me right after I say "less heat." Like that one thing contributed to my hair growth. If only it were that simple. I own moisturizers, deep conditioners, protein packs, shea butter, etc. and all they know is grease, wax sticks, and hair sheen... Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the wax stick, but I wash my hair often, so I'm not just laying it on my edges day after day for over a month. I am so glad I found this website and at a young age too (15 I think) because I would not want to be back there, getting my hair relaxed and trimmed every 6 weeks thinking there is no other way.

Like I said before, I'm not preaching to anybody about hair. Unfortunately most black women will not find this board and half of them that do will just brush off the information they read (Monistat, WTH?!) but when you dip your big head into my business and then try to teach me something based on your own ignorance, that bothers me.

And please, don't get me started on my aunt, who's real hair I haven't seen in about 8 years.

lol @kandycurls U hit the nail on the head several times in this post! I mean u wouldve thought i tell my friends/fam to use poisonous snake oil lol! If i do give advice its usually simple stuff like take a multivitamin or hsn vit, use a satin pillow case, condition hair more- these are all not difficult things to do. And now im glad i live alone because theres no one here to discourage me from frequent co-washing, making my own hair oils, protective styling ect. like before.

 

[Vashti]

My immediate family is fine as far as hair. In fact most of my mother's family know a little something about hair care. My dad's side of the family? IDK. Weaves, chewed up edges, over dyed hair, lacefront city, a hot mess. Only my paternal grandmother took care of her hair and she wore a twa her whole life. I don't worry about the rest of them.

The only thing I worry about is that my sis has Graves disease. She seems to be doing pretty good with not abusing her hair but the ends are very thin. I often wonder how I can help her retain more length with that condition.

 

[Tiye]

Family taught me the foundations of everything I know. I added to that knowledge base on my own coz of personal interest. I share if asked.

Some here are getting into fights with family and friends over stuff they read on the internet and this is unnecessary. No one knows it all, and no one source is the final word. Just coz you read it here and it's yielded positive results for you (which is great) doen't mean it's the only way. Plus there's a way to share info. Do it when asked, and do it politely. If someone came up to me and told me I didn't know anything and they were going to show me what to do I'd be annoyed too. jmho.

 

[prospurr4]

No, not at all.

ALL of the ladies in my family need hair help. They wear wigs, not as a PS or alternate style choice, but because they are losing their hair. One of them was wearing her hair out, when I noticed a thinning/balding patch in her crown....and her hair is the longest (about BSL but kinda thin) and "healthiest" among them.

My hair is obviously long (almost WL) and healthy, and I am EAGER to share knowledge with them, but I don't get many inquiries...oh well.

THE GOOD NEWS is that ladies OUTSIDE of my family are asking for hair tips and advice. It makes my day when I can get someone on the path to healthy hair.

 

[bibs]

Not that much- i just realize they arent into hair like me; What really bothers me is when people with chewed up hair tell me what i need to do to grow hair and what products are good or bad for my hair as if they know and will argue u down about it 2! I dnt even really discuss hair growth with family/friends because i feel like if they are truely interested then they would be up on this site just like me

Oh my goodness, yes!

I'm not "bothered" per say, but I do want to give pointers sometimes. My little sister for instance, is on a track (no pun intended) of putting in a super tight sew in, taking it down, relaxing, and putting in another within a week. Her edges are disappearing, but I know with my TWA me giving advice is laughable, so I don't say anything just cringe.

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

No, not really. Those that care about haircare actually ask what I'm doing and listen to my response. Everyone comments how my hair looks pretty, thick, long, or whatever. So although I wish some of them would take better care of their own, for the most part my family is happy for me. What did bother me at the beginning of my HHJ is the doubt that I received that I could actually grow my hair to BSL+, actually even APL was doubted! Now that I'm only 2" from BSL, they are all believers but I can't wait til next year and I go home for the holidays swinging MBL hair. So no, my family's knowledge or lack thereof doesn't bother me.

 

[200AndOne]

not my family, but my coworkers. just had a discussion with one that left me smh. first she tells me about a patch of her daughter's hair that she broke off from snatching the rubber bands off her ponytails. then said she's been putting eucerin on the patch to try to get it to grow

 

[KurlyNinja]

YES. OMG. YES! My mom and my sister are both natural and I am transitioning now, but my sister likes her hair straight. ALL. THE. TIME. I straightened my sisters hair for her birthday, but I also gave her a good DC, a protein treatment and I air dried her hair in a pony tail roller before I flat ironed. (which took me a good 2 days) My mom and sisters were both shocked at how straight and bouncy and swangin it was. My mom asked me how I got it like that and when I started telling her she was like "I didnt ask you all of that". WTH??? If you want it shiny and bouncy you have to do all this stuff. I just shut up after that. I also refuse to straighten my sisters hair if she doesnt allow me to DC it before hand. I wont be the reason her hair is falling out.

My mom shoots down anything I have to say because, "its for white people" or "I did you hair growing up, I can do your sisters too". So I've come to the fact that I just wont tell them anything. Now when they ask anything, I just shrug or say "its online". I dont have time for tom-foolery anyway.

 

[fitnessmommy]

My immediate family is fine as far as hair. In fact most of my mother's family know a little something about hair care. My dad's side of the family? IDK. Weaves, chewed up edges, over dyed hair, lacefront city, a hot mess. Only my paternal grandmother took care of her hair and she wore a twa her whole life. I don't worry about the rest of them.

The only thing I worry about is that my sis has Graves disease. She seems to be doing pretty good with not abusing her hair but the ends are very thin. I often wonder how I can help her retain more length with that condition.

Someone with graves disease should really pay close attention to their diet. I find that taking kelp helps.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Used to but not anymore. My mum always had long hair without doing much. Back in Nigerian when she was younger she and my Grandmum lied to the boarding school saying it was against their religion to cut their hair (She had MBL). My older sister listens but she's more on this whole Lace wig thing so...

My little sister on the other hand I used to care now I just laugh (don't judge me she is really rude she's has become the white sheep of the family but I digress).

She used to use bonding glue all the time and wold rip out the track along with her real hair and I tried to tell her to stop but then she swore at me and caught an atittude saying how "Not everyone's hair is like those stupid women on the internet" And I was like "I know this girl did not just cuss my hair idols!"

So I was like fine so I go one to BC my hair and it's the same length as her own dyed, fired and laid to the side to hide the bald spots hair. Now a year later my hair is past coller bone and is steadily reaching shoulder and she is hiding under wigs. Then she comes asking me what she should do. When I recommend starting anew she says I'm not helping her and stomps off.

So as she continues to relax and dye her hair every three weeks and hide underneath wigs and scarves, I'm whipping my hair back and forth.

 

[lolascurls]

It used to bother me....I used to defer to my mother on all things hair. Now, I just do what I know is right. And if they want a straight hairstyle for a function....I wig it.. That way, they can't say I didn't put in the effort, and I can keep proctecting my ends.