Am I on the wrong path? Need your opinion ladies!

[indarican]

So about 4 months ago I decided that i was going to go natural. No my problem is I dont really know what the drive behind that is.
some of the reasons why i dont want to be natural:
I dont like my hair poofy at all, i dont like tight curls in my head, i cant seem to get control of my hair no matter what products i use.
Why i want to be natural:
I want healthy hair.

Thats it. so now im trying to figure out if me trying this natural thing is just because of all the hair porn on this site. I dont really think ill be happy with a fro or dealing with a fro, but i cant stand the damage that relaxing does to my hair. im debating whether or not i should texlax and stretch that maybe that will help? give your opinion ladies. Thanks!!!

 

[Curlykale]

Since when you texlax you are still processing your hair with a chemical, I cannot guarantee it will turn out healthier than relaxed hair. If you don't want short hair, maybe you could transition for a long time, playing with braidouts and twistouts until you get to know how your natural roots react to products and tecniques and until you reach a length that makes you feel confortable. There is no product in the world that will guarantee you "non puffy hair", especially if your texture is naturally puffy. But at the same time what could happen is that you get to know your natural texture and you find some styles that you like.

When I went natural I focused on the health on my hair, the styling came aftewards: now that I'm able to style my hair without using heat or damaging chemicals or the wrong manipulation, and now that I know what products and techniques my hair likes, I'm finally able to style my hair. I think a lot of difference in the outcome of hair styles is due to ingredients (getting to know humectants, butters, gels and if your hair likes them or not) and technique (wet hair, dry hair, stretched hair, overnight...).
I avoid puffy hair using products without humectants and butters and braiding everytime I wash, air dry or sleep. And my hair loves some oils. But many other people love butters and humectants, so it's very individual. Also, your relaxed part eacts differently form your natural part to things.

A long transition allows you to have that safety blanket which is bunning with a soft scrunchie and a lot of conditioner until you find the things that work for you, and experimenting when you feel like it and when you have the time.

Good luck whatever you choose!

 

[bride91501]

I'm no expert (disclaimer), but if you don't think you can enjoy, or even deal with, your hair in its natural state, then you probably shouldn't go natural.

There are a BUNCH of relaxed ladies on the forum with healthy, relaxed hair, so hopefully they'll step in and give you some tips. Since I went natural, my sister, a relaxed head who wouldn't EVER have thought of going natural, has decided to start stretching and her hair is SO much healthier than it was before. She's about 5 months into her first stretch. Maybe this could be a start for you.

 

[WaistLengthDreams]

You can have hair that is healthy and relaxed. I started last year with frail, bone straight relaxed hair. And in a year my hair has made a complete turn around. The first thing that I stopped doing was relaxing my hair bone straight. While I'm not bone straight, I still consider myself relaxed and not texlaxed because I leave the relaxer in for the full time and loose all curl pattern but there's still some texture so that there is strength retained. Now I'm at a point where I just need to cut off the sad looking bone straight relaxed ends that I started this HHJ with.

HTH!

 

[indarican]

Since when you texlax you are still processing your hair with a chemical, I cannot guarantee it will turn out healthier than relaxed hair. If you don't want short hair, maybe you could transition for a long time, playing with braidouts and twistouts until you get to know how your natural roots react to products and tecniques and until you reach a length that makes you feel confortable. There is no product in the world that will guarantee you "non puffy hair", especially if your texture is naturally puffy. But at the same time what could happen is that you get to know your natural texture and you find some styles that you like.

When I went natural I focused on the health on my hair, the styling came aftewards: now that I'm able to style my hair without using heat or damaging chemicals or the wrong manipulation, and now that I know what products and techniques my hair likes, I'm finally able to style my hair. I think a lot of difference in the outcome of hair styles is due to ingredients (getting to know humectants, butters, gels and if your hair likes them or not) and technique (wet hair, dry hair, stretched hair, overnight...).
I avoid puffy hair using products without humectants and butters and braiding everytime I wash, air dry or sleep. And my hair loves some oils. But many other people love butters and humectants, so it's very individual. Also, your relaxed part eacts differently form your natural part to things.

A long transition allows you to have that safety blanket which is bunning with a soft scrunchie and a lot of conditioner until you find the things that work for you, and experimenting when you feel like it and when you have the time.

Good luck whatever you choose!

I was definetly trying to do a long term transition but it seems my hair is far less healthy now then it was before. The bunning has been breaking off my hair even after i stopped doing them tight. I cant braid my own hair, i got two left hands when it comes to my own hair. I tried the butter didnt work, the humectants didnt work, the protien treatments didnt work, it just dosent seem like anything is working. Im just so frustrated and so tired of putting so much time, effort and money into something that is giving me now rewards. I started my hair journey SL and I am still SL probably a little shorter then when i started and what i have been my whole life. I thought natural would be the way that i would be able to have my hair grow and be strong. ugh... so tired.

Sorry for the rant

 

[indarican]

You can have hair that is healthy and relaxed. I started last year with frail, bone straight relaxed hair. And in a year my hair has made a complete turn around. The first thing that I stopped doing was relaxing my hair bone straight. While I'm not bone straight, I still consider myself relaxed and not texlaxed because I leave the relaxer in for the full time and loose all curl pattern but there's still some texture so that there is strength retained. Now I'm at a point where I just need to cut off the sad looking bone straight relaxed ends that I started this HHJ with.

HTH!

Thank you!! I just wish thier was like a hair manual for people like me, just a sense of direction

 

[topnotch1010]

Relaxed hair ≠ unhealthy hair just as natural hair ≠ healthy hair. It's all in your practices.

I see you joined in 2009, how long have you been serious about your HHJ?

Are you judging the health of your hair on hair that was abused prior to your HHJ?

What's your current regimen?

I had to cut my SL approaching APL hair off to EL last year to get rid of all the damage I had prior to my HHJ. I'm not suggesting you do that but let's try to figure out the real culprit before you jump to something else.

 

[WaistLengthDreams]

If you want to do some research on healthy relaxed hair, here are some sources of information that gave me a great foundation for understanding how to work with my relaxed hair:
Hair Regimen Building For Newbies
Getting Ready to Relax? Preparing Your Hair for Chemical Relaxer Straightening
The Fine Art of Protein and Moisture Balancing for Black Hair

All three articles were written by, LHCF member, Sistaslick. And she has a bunch of other ones on Associated Content that are equally as informative.

 

[Russet]

I definitely agree that natural hair does not equal healthy hair. I mean sure you will be chemical free but just like relaxed hair, you will still have to keep up with it. Moisturizing, oiling, reconstructing, balancing protein/moisture, single strand knots, breakage, etc. The same practices go with having natural hair. Going natural won't free you of having to do your hair every morning and taking care of it, if you want healthy hair that is.

What i'm really trying to say is that going natural won't be any easier than having relaxed hair. There are TONS of relaxed ladies on this site with beautiful, strong, healthy, long hair. If length is a big deal to you and SEEING it, then relaxed is the way to go. You seem like you don't like kinky, curly, tight coils. Straightening natural hair won't be any much easier and would and could cause alot of heat damage, which will result in UNHEALTHY hair.

It's a matter of preference. You can have healthy hair either route you choose. You should think about what you want personally in the long run. Straight hair, or natural hair.

HTH!

 

[Charz]

If you don't like they way your natural hair looks like, then become a heat stretched natural, keep it braided/twisted, do twistouts/braidouts for a more structured style, or relax/texlax.

 

[indarican]

I definitely agree that natural hair does not equal healthy hair. I mean sure you will be chemical free but just like relaxed hair, you will still have to keep up with it. Moisturizing, oiling, reconstructing, balancing protein/moisture, single strand knots, breakage, etc. The same practices go with having natural hair. Going natural won't free you of having to do your hair every morning and taking care of it, if you want healthy hair that is.

What i'm really trying to say is that going natural won't be any easier than having relaxed hair. There are TONS of relaxed ladies on this site with beautiful, strong, healthy, long hair. If length is a big deal to you and SEEING it, then relaxed is the way to go. You seem like you don't like kinky, curly, tight coils. Straightening natural hair won't be any much easier and would and could cause alot of heat damage, which will result in UNHEALTHY hair.

It's a matter of preference. You can have healthy hair either route you choose. You should think about what you want personally in the long run. Straight hair, or natural hair.

HTH!

I definetly have been straighting my hair way more now that i have been trying to transition. I dont kinky curls on myself, i wouldnt mind a little wave but straight up curls is not for me.

 

[indarican]

If you don't like they way your natural hair looks like, then become a heat stretched natural, keep it braided/twisted, do twistouts/braidouts for a more structured style, or relax/texlax.

I thought about that and did some research and i really feel like that would damage my hair... my main goal.. healthy hair, secondary goal length down to the flooor.

 

[indarican]

If you want to do some research on healthy relaxed hair, here are some sources of information that gave me a great foundation for understanding how to work with my relaxed hair:
Hair Regimen Building For Newbies
Getting Ready to Relax? Preparing Your Hair for Chemical Relaxer Straightening
The Fine Art of Protein and Moisture Balancing for Black Hair

All three articles were written by, LHCF member, Sistaslick. And she has a bunch of other ones on Associated Content that are equally as informative.

I just read an article of hers about texlaxing. very informative.

 

[lovely_locks]

If you don't like they way your natural hair looks like, then become a heat stretched natural, keep it braided/twisted, do twistouts/braidouts for a more structured style, or relax/texlax.

I honestly was going to go to the shop and get my hair relaxed.....untill I saw your siggy. How your hair is now, thats what I want my natural hair to look like. I like your length natural, and flat ironed.

 

[indarican]

Relaxed hair ≠ unhealthy hair just as natural hair ≠ healthy hair. It's all in your practices.

I see you joined in 2009, how long have you been serious about your HHJ?

Are you judging the health of your hair on hair that was abused prior to your HHJ?

What's your current regimen?

I had to cut my SL approaching APL hair off to EL last year to get rid of all the damage I had prior to my HHJ. I'm not suggesting you do that but let's try to figure out the real culprit before you jump to something else.

I have been serious about my HHJ since feb 2010. i cut about 2 inches when i started the hair journey because my ends were fried. But my hair only recently started to break real bad when i started to transitioning. when i kept up with my relaxer it didnt break too much it just wasnt growing.

 

[Charz]

I thought about that and did some research and i really feel like that would damage my hair... my main goal.. healthy hair, secondary goal length down to the flooor.

Lady, braidouts and twists out are not damaging. I rollerset my hair to get it straighter every Sunday and then do braidouts on it during the week, every 1-3 days.

I honestly was going to go to the shop and get my hair relaxed.....untill I saw your siggy. How your hair is now, thats what I want my natural hair to look like. I like your length natural, and flat ironed.

Aww thank you love, if you need any tips just PM me and/or check out my youtube channel @ YouTube - Charzboss's Channel

 

[Curlykale]

Hair always grows: the fact that you need to keep relaxing your roots is a sign that it's growing, I think you might have a breakage issue since your 100% relaxed days and maybe you haven't tried the right solution yet. One thing that you say in your post is "no matter what product I use". It might be the technique... What's your regimen?

Secondly: since you don't like curls, do you like twist outs and braidouts on natural hair? (they look different from the braidouts on relaxed hair). If you don't, then I wouldn't go natural.

 

[indarican]

]Lady, braidouts and twists out are not damaging. I rollerset my hair to get it straighter every Sunday and then do braidouts on it during the week, every 1-3 days.[/B]



Aww thank you love, if you need any tips just PM me and/or check out my youtube channel @ YouTube - Charzboss's Channel

I was referring to heat training damaging my hair, I have tried braidouts and they dont look good on me, the roots are so incredibly thick and the ends are so NOT. If i do it on dry hair it would last maybe a day, when i would try to do them constantly my hair would break off in my hand so it was not helping with the health of my hair just a temporary style. Plus i cant braid so well..

 

[indarican]

Hair always grows: the fact that you need to keep relaxing your roots is a sign that it's growing, I think you might have a breakage issue since your 100% relaxed days and maybe you haven't tried the right solution yet. One thing that you say in your post is "no matter what product I use". It might be the technique... What's your regimen?

Secondly: since you don't like curls, do you like twist outs and braidouts on natural hair? (they look different from the braidouts on relaxed hair). If you don't, then I wouldn't go natural.

I certainly do not like them on natural hair... as for my regimine the only thing that is consitant right now is i DC with ORS replenishing conditioner and then blowdry my hair. Those two days after the ORS my breakage is at a minimum like just a couple of strands minimum. I DC twice a week and blow dry.
I do moisturize, i use cantu leave in, NTM leave in, Hawaiian Silky 14 - 1, Wave Neavou moisturizer, ORS Olive oil moisturizer, water and aussie moist mix.
I seal with either hot six oil or EVCO
(I dont use all the products at once, i switch between these things)
and my PS style is usually a bun. I have been moving the bun, not using any ties with the bun, using hair stix... you named it i tried it but my hair just wont stop breaking off. My hope is if i texlax my hair the line of decremation wont be so brittle, this is were the majority of my broken hairs come from.

 

[jerseygurl]

Hi Indarican, sorry you're going through this, it'll be okay I promise you. IMHO, I don't think you've been on this journey long enough to master your hair. Since you do not like curls, then going natural or even texlaxing may not be for you. I would suggest you relax your hair for the time being and experiment with braidouts and twistouts till you feel comfortable in curls. Try on a curly wig or weave and see how you feel.

Transitioning is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, you have to be mentally prepared for it also. I decided to transition because I wanted to see my little kinks and curlies and because I felt like I was prepared for it. I have no urge to relax my hair and I'm happy with that.

Give yourself some time and don't get caught up with what other people are doing with their hair. It is your journey, don't forget that. With time you might become comfortable with your curls and decide to go natural but I don't think this is the best time for you.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[indarican]

Hi Indarican, sorry you're going through this, it'll be okay I promise you. IMHO, I don't think you've been on this journey long enough to master your hair. Since you do not like curls, then going natural or even texlaxing may not be for you. I would suggest you relax your hair for the time being and experiment with braidouts and twistouts till you feel comfortable in curls. Try on a curly wig or weave and see how you feel.

Transitioning is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, you have to be mentally prepared for it also. I decided to transition because I wanted to see my little kinks and curlies and because I felt like I was prepared for it. I have no urge to relax my hair and I'm happy with that.

Give yourself some time and don't get caught up with what other people are doing with their hair. It is your journey, don't forget that. With time you might become comfortable with your curls and decide to go natural but I don't think this is the best time for you.

Just my 2 cents.

At bolded, i was hoping that if i transitioned to texlaxed instead of bone straight i would be able to keep some of my curls and really try and get the hang of it... What do you think?

 

[jerseygurl]

You could do that too. I would advice you to PM the texlaxers we have on board to guide you along. Sistaslick is one name that comes to the top of my head. I hope it all goes well for you Cuz

 

[topnotch1010]

I certainly do not like them on natural hair... as for my regimine the only thing that is consitant right now is i DC with ORS replenishing conditioner and then blowdry my hair. Those two days after the ORS my breakage is at a minimum like just a couple of strands minimum. I DC twice a week and blow dry.
I do moisturize, i use cantu leave in, NTM leave in, Hawaiian Silky 14 - 1, Wave Neavou moisturizer, ORS Olive oil moisturizer, water and aussie moist mix.
I seal with either hot six oil or EVCO
(I dont use all the products at once, i switch between these things)
and my PS style is usually a bun. I have been moving the bun, not using any ties with the bun, using hair stix... you named it i tried it but my hair just wont stop breaking off. My hope is if i texlax my hair the line of decremation wont be so brittle, this is were the majority of my broken hairs come from.

You may be combing your hair too rough.

If your hair is brittle at the line of demarcation, why not moisturize it before combing your hair? I never comb dry hair unless it's pin straight because it leads to breakage.

You should consider an alternative to the blowfryer. What about roller sets instead to straighten your hair?

Why do you use all of these different moisturizers? You should find one and stick to it. It doesn't take a lot to moisturize hair.

As a matter of fact, I think you should work on getting a sold regimen, staple products, and hairstyle. Trying all this stuff could be leading you to breakage.

 

[indarican]

You may be combing your hair too rough.

If your hair is brittle at the line of demarcation, why not moisturize it before combing your hair? I never comb dry hair unless it's pin straight because it leads to breakage.
____ i do moisturize before i comb. I have to at least brush my hair everyday because my flyaways are serious!

You should consider an alternative to the blowfryer. What about roller sets instead to straighten your hair? The roller sets never really got my roots straight but i have tried that as well.

Why do you use all of these different moisturizers? You should find one and stick to it. It doesn't take a lot to moisturize hair.
well i heard the cantu and the ORS oil Moisturizers had protien in them so i didnt want to overload, the wave neavou and hawaiian silky solidify in my hair??? especially hawaiian silky, the aussie moist and water concotion is only for when i dont blowdry my hair...but i was worried about build up, NTM i just started using.

As a matter of fact, I think you should work on getting a sold regimen, staple products, and hairstyle. Trying all this stuff could be leading you to breakage.

Thank you for all your input

 

[Carrie A]

So how is your relaxed hair now? Is it breaking off? Do you want to texlax because you think the hair is stronger.

If you don't want to see a curl then defer your journey to natural hair. Being completely dependent on heat straightening will not be great in the long run. Most of the posters who use heat often take breaks at various times per year to wear natural styles. Just concentrate on improving the health of your relaxed or texlaxed hair. See how skilled you can become. Then, in the future if you decide to try again, you will have the tools to work with the natural hair.

The trick with texlaxing is consistency. Sometimes the level of straightness can vary so it takes skill. There were some good step by step texlax threads a few years back. Start searching there. You will eventually have to cut at the demarcation point if your hair is bone straight now.

So I'd go with the texlaxing.

ETA: I would not blow dry my hair twice a week. Agree with roller set or air dry. How often do you flat iron?

 

[HappilyLiberal]

So about 4 months ago I decided that i was going to go natural. No my problem is I dont really know what the drive behind that is.
some of the reasons why i dont want to be natural:
I dont like my hair poofy at all, i dont like tight curls in my head, i cant seem to get control of my hair no matter what products i use.
Why i want to be natural:
I want healthy hair.

Thats it. so now im trying to figure out if me trying this natural thing is just because of all the hair porn on this site. I dont really think ill be happy with a fro or dealing with a fro, but i cant stand the damage that relaxing does to my hair. im debating whether or not i should texlax and stretch that maybe that will help? give your opinion ladies. Thanks!!!

I am at that point as well. I'll be five months tomorrow. I am going to stick it out for another month to go the whole six months and see how I feel. But, I think I may relax at 6 months. If I relax, I am going bone straight. I was planning to be a heat straightened natural anyway.