Hair Depression... Sniffle Sniffle

[indarican]

I never heard of a clarifying conditioner. The clarifying shampoo is important to remove the build-up from other products. That way your hair will take the conditioner better. So a clarifying conditioner probably would be defeating its own purpose. That build-up of product (especially ORS) could cause breakage eventually because it can block out moisture.

ETA: Don't use the clarifying shampoo each time. Start off with maybe once a month or every other wash. But it all depends on how much product you use. I use a lot of cones so I have to clarify every other week. If you use it too much it can dry your hair out.

I got a clarifying conditioner from the V05 line, I guess i will be tossing that out. Thank you for your response.

 

[lana]

I try not to comb every day, but the front of my hair is so jacked up with short broken hairs if i dont at least combs or pass a brush the fly aways are ridicuolous. when i bun i use the mesh donut since i dont have enough hair to do a decent bun. I have tried braid outs and it was horrid since im not a good braider. basically my hair is either out or in a bun.

Okay well the MESH donut bun could be part of why you are seeing breakage. The MESH can literally chew through your hair over time. So I would move to a satin strip of cloth or a silky sock bun, instead of using the mesh donut. Unless I misunderstood your post.

Also, I can't tell but it sounds like you were relaxing pretty frequently. It's good to stretch your relaxer to help retain growth and avoid overlapping the new relaxer on the already processed hair. Also, which relaxer were you using? I was using No-Lye for years and I had dry broken, shoulder length hair, so I went natural, texlaxed again using No-Lye and still had dry hair, no longer breaking...it was only in the last year that I realized that for MY hair to retain length while using a chemical it absolutely had to be done with a LYE relaxer.

Also my rule is to follow a protein conditioner with a moisturizing conditioner and rinse thoroughly. But I rarely use protein conditioners on my hair 4a/b texlaxed. I hope this helps you. By the way when I had color in my hair years ago, the only way to get healthy hair again was to cut the color off. I cut the color off and it seemed like my scalp THANKED me...all of a sudden my hair grew and retained lengthed. Still growing strong...I was natural with color and it didn't work for me, got it done professionally and everything. Yeah, right. LHCF saved my hair.

Oh and my secret weapong this year for retaining length has been: Mane & Tail Conditioner.

 

[indarican]

Okay well the MESH donut bun could be part of why you are seeing breakage. The MESH can literally chew through your hair over time. So I would move to a satin strip of cloth or a silky sock bun, instead of using the mesh donut. Unless I misunderstood your post.

Also, I can't tell but it sounds like you were relaxing pretty frequently. It's good to stretch your relaxer to help retain growth and avoid overlapping the new relaxer on the already processed hair. Also, which relaxer are you using? I was using No-Lye for years and I had dry broken, shoulder length hair, so I went natural, texlaxed again using No-Lye and still had dry hair, no longer breaking...it was only in the last year that I realized that for MY hair to retain length while using a chemical it absolutely had to be done with a LYE relaxer.

Also my rule is to follow a protein conditioner with a moisturizing conditioner and rinse thoroughly. But I rarely use protein conditioners on my hair. I hope this helps you or another person, but try NEVER to compare your hair to others whether for good or bad. It's not fair.

Thank you, will the foam bun be better for my hair. I dont have a particular relaxer that i use. I thought lye was bad for you health wise?

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I got a clarifying conditioner from the V05 line, I guess i will be tossing that out. Thank you for your response.

You don't have to throw it away. Clarifying conditioners are just the accompanying conditioners for the clarifying shampoo. And it isn't supposed to leave buildup (according to the bottle) so this conditioner is ok to use for co-washing.

 

[imaccami]

I agree that you should switch to lye relaxer. My hair was fine in the beginning using no-lye but after several years it became dryer and dryer. When I switched to lye the difference was night and day.

Also try to use a satin scarf anyway. It may come partially off or totally off during the night but you have the pillowcase as a backup. IMO hair needs to be kept as "organized" as possible when sleeping otherwise it breaks.

I think you have to wait until all the color grows out for the breakage to stop.

 

[Aggie]

Thank you, will the foam bun be better for my hair. I dont have a particular relaxer that i use. I thought lye was bad for you health wise?

Technically none of the relaxers are considered "healthy". However, you can choose the lesser of 2 evils for your hair. It seems that the no-lye relaxers are not doing your hair any justice so you may want to consider switching over to lye relaxers eventually.

Now the most obvious difference between the two after usage over time is this: The no-lye relaxer leaves a lot of calcium build-up on the hair strands which causes dull, dry, brittle, breaking hair over time and I believe it is worse with finer hair strands than coarser hairs. The no-lye relaxer also is easier on the scalp but really hard on the hair.

Lye relaxers on the other hand is hard on the scalp and easier on the actual hair strand. I used to use no-lye relaxers but it destroyed my hair and I switched over to lye relaxers and found it to be a lot better on my hair.

What I do is double base my scalp with Blue Magic grease. Once the night before my relaxer and again the day of the relaxer and I never get burns anymore. I would also put the grease on the previously relaxed hair for protection in case I missed and overlapped the relaxer. By the way, I use Mizani Butter Blend lye relaxer for fine/color-treated hair.

It would be probably be good to find a relaxer that has some moisturizing properties in it. If I am not mistaken, Linange and Olive Oil are two other examples. Someone please correct me if I am wrong about these two relaxers and please add the ones that you know of.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I dont think all of your hair is badly damaged but the oldest hair might be. If nothing works after a month or so I really suggest a trim and if you are deciding to relax really research the relaxer you are using, Ive seen people relax their hair the correct way but their hair would still break a lot. So Im assuming that specific relaxer didnt agree with their hair? but I honestly believe its because your hair is double processed.

I just don't want you to waste more and more money on products on damaged hair that will eventually break off or get cut anyway. And whats even more frustrating is that the products that you are using to salvage the damaged hair might not work the same on the healthiest parts of your hair. Sometimes I think that's how the healthy hair gets neglected because we spend so much time and energy on trying to keep hair that's irrepairable.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

There are clarifying conditioners Suave Daily Clarifying conditioners and VO5 Kiwi Lime Conditioner.

I never heard of a clarifying conditioner. The clarifying shampoo is important to remove the build-up from other products. That way your hair will take the conditioner better. So a clarifying conditioner probably would be defeating its own purpose. That build-up of product (especially ORS) could cause breakage eventually because it can block out moisture.

ETA: Don't use the clarifying shampoo each time. Start off with maybe once a month or every other wash. But it all depends on how much product you use. I use a lot of cones so I have to clarify every other week. If you use it too much it can dry your hair out.

 

[nnmiles]

.....Don't know if it is in your budget, but what has changed my hair totally around and improved my retention is the acquistion of my wonderful Steamer!!!! Condition with steam and you will surprise yourself. Be blessed!

 

[Reecie]

Indarican, I am so sorry you are feeling depressed about your hair growth. I remember being in your position during my beginning months. There has been so much advice given, I don't think there is anything else that I could add (great suggestions thusfar). I did however want to express to you that your day will come when you will be amazed at how wonderful your growth/retention.

The hardest part of a personalized hair journey/regimen is establishing what your hair needs/wants. It is definitely a process that takes longer for some than others. I can say it took me 1.5 years to really master what my hair needed and what it really meant when people said "listen to your hair". It does let you know what it needs, but it's hard figuring out its language in the beginning.

Stick to this trial and error period and I assure you, everything will be fine.

Good luck, keep trucking on, know that you will have trial and errors for a short time longer, and there is definitely an end game in sight.

Happy Hair Growing. :ha:

 

[Chevelure618]

OK. Your hair is heavy and coated.....too hard. It could be protein loaded or just loaded period. Your hair does not like being wet because it needs protein, but the right kind of protein. I think you need light protein. Hardcore DCing isn't for everyone all the time.

Coconut oil. It is wonderful for a lot of people but not for everyone. I think it is too heavy for your hair. My hair lovessss heavy oils but not everyone's does. I would try a light sealing oil like Keracare essential oil or Shima Oil. (YES...SHIMA OIL) It is a light oil.

You have to find a style that is low manipulation and loose. Again. Bunning isn't for everyone. Try a loose French Roll and then deal with the short edges sticking up with an edge cream. or use a pretty headband in a satiny material to hold it down. I SWEAR by UBH Lotion Creme Moisturizer. Tames New Growth. Period.

Look at your ends individually. If any of them are split, bent, right-angled or curled, cut them off, but only about an 1/8th inch above the split or bend.

I am a firm believer in Clarifying with a clarifying shampoo...not a regular shampoo that you believe clarifies. Clarifying is like starting from scratch.

I have a sense of what is wrong with your hair but I cannot be sure. Keep telling us what you do.

 

[Chevelure618]

Your previously relaxed hair may have been overlapped at every previous touch up and now that you are doing healthy hair care, the old hair just is too far gone. If this is the case, I would do a 1/2 inch trim. Evaluate your hair for 1 month (1/2 inch of has grown back). If it is still doing the same, trim another half inch, then evaluate for another month. Unfortunately, you may have to wait until the breakage stops until you see length retention. At some point, there will be more healthy hair on your head than old overlapped hair.

 

[LadyRaider]

Make sure you are taking pictures. Without pictures you might over estimate how long your hair was in the first place, and so you can't see how much growth you have now.

 

[notlookingback06]

Since there have been so many great ideas & suggestions given already, I won't add another. I will offer you this: be encouraged! You'll find exactly what works for you. Be patient with yourself and with your hair. Be blessed!

 

[indarican]

Indarican, I am so sorry you are feeling depressed about your hair growth. I remember being in your position during my beginning months. There has been so much advice given, I don't think there is anything else that I could add (great suggestions thusfar). I did however want to express to you that your day will come when you will be amazed at how wonderful your growth/retention.

The hardest part of a personalized hair journey/regimen is establishing what your hair needs/wants. It is definitely a process that takes longer for some than others. I can say it took me 1.5 years to really master what my hair needed and what it really meant when people said "listen to your hair". It does let you know what it needs, but it's hard figuring out its language in the beginning.

Stick to this trial and error period and I assure you, everything will be fine.

Good luck, keep trucking on, know that you will have trial and errors for a short time longer, and there is definitely an end game in sight.

Happy Hair Growing. :ha:

Thank you for your input, im trying to figure it out but i honestly feel like I have gone through every option except chopping it all off and as well as many pull it off, i would look horrendous with a short do. Im trying to listen, but i dont think my hair likes me one bit.

 

[indarican]

Since there have been so many great ideas & suggestions given already, I won't add another. I will offer you this: be encouraged! You'll find exactly what works for you. Be patient with yourself and with your hair. Be blessed!

Thank you for your kind words. i need it this week.

 

[indarican]

Make sure you are taking pictures. Without pictures you might over estimate how long your hair was in the first place, and so you can't see how much growth you have now.

I have taken plenty of pics and my hair is always in the same spot, sometimes it looks fuller and i think i am getting somewhere then the next week it looks horrible again. its like a never endind cycle.

 

[indarican]

There are clarifying conditioners Suave Daily Clarifying conditioners and VO5 Kiwi Lime Conditioner.

I have the V05 one, so does it do the same thing as a clarifying conditioner?

 

[indarican]

Hey ladies, again i want to say thank you for all of your encouragement and advice, it seems like the breakage has finally subsided!!! I am so happy that i havent seen so much hair in the sink, tub, my fingers, etc. I have still been dc with the ors replenishing conditioner 2x a week half air dry half blowdry not much breakage there. then everyday i moisturize with wave neavou moisturizer and seal with EVCO. Pretty basic so i hope it stays this simple through my transition.... thank you thank you thank you!!!