Wow. I didn't see this coming...

[natura87]

My little brother( 21 in October) said something awesome yesterday. I'm not sure if he figured this out on his own or if he has been noticing my healthy haircare journey. One of my sisters friends(14) was talking about how she "needed" a relaxer to fix her hair before school. This is what he said...

D: See thats your problem. You guys play in your hair too much, you dont wrap it up and you perm it all the time. Then you wonder why it doesnt grow. If you are going to get a perm get it every 6 months or so, not every month. Oh, and our hair isnt meant to be straight anyway. We are black, our hair is in an afro naturally.


M: erplexed

Me:

Now I may not agree with relaxers anymore but I am surprised he even said this, and knew about stretching relaxers, wrapping hair and low manipulation. Have any of you ever been surprised by what the people around you may have picked up about healthy haircare?

 

[debbiedee]

My mother, a faithful grease user suddenly asked me to buy her castor oil which she has seen me using. She said she noticed it made my hair softer!
Wow...for a guy to actually say this....at his age...wow

 

[Yoshi3329]

My family doesn't believe a word I say on hair. Oh well, their loss, but Kudos to your brother! I love the whole 'we're not meant to have straight hair' part.

So true.

And at his age! Wow!

 

[brucebettye]

Yes. The people you don't expect to be paying attention always notice. So your hair must be doing very good for your brother to say that.

 

[SimJam]

awesome. Thats why we should always be conscious of what we say and do ...
Ppl are listening

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

My family doesn't believe a word I say on hair. Oh well, their loss, but Kudos to your brother! I love the whole 'we're not meant to have straight hair' part.

So true.

And at his age! Wow!

They may not believe it..but they are taking notice.


My family gave me alot of side eyes and giggles when I started my hair journey (of growing it longer and giving up relaxers)

The jokes don't come as often anymore, and now I'm asking for help with getting products for my neices.

 

[Solitude]

Yeah....I'm actually kinda concerned about my son picking up too much hair care knowledge. He's currently fascinated by the braidout concept.

My sister started co-washing because of me! (She also did the big chop recently and I started her on her hair journey.)

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I've convinced my mom to use pure oils, not grease to moisturize her hair and scalp. I even taught her how to co-wash her hair twice a week.

 

[silenttullip]

My mom "transitioner" finally started taking my advice, I sent her some products and she's learning. At first she just "smiled and nodded" but now she'll ask questions and understand answers sometimes

 

[omachine]

your brother should be cloned!

 

[FebeeSigns]

Your brother sounds smart and observant. My family is too ignorant about haircare and don't even want to hear it.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Yeah....I'm actually kinda concerned about my son picking up too much hair care knowledge. He's currently fascinated by the braidout concept.

My sister started co-washing because of me! (She also did the big chop recently and I started her on her hair journey.)

May I ask why??

There are alot of men into haircare. Maybe his interest in your hair will encourage him to seek out cosmetology/barbering.

 

[Yoshi3329]

They may not believe it..but they are taking notice.


My family gave me alot of side eyes and giggles when I started my hair journey (of growing it longer and giving up relaxers)

The jokes don't come as often anymore, and now I'm asking for help with getting products for my neices.

True, my mom is still in shock that I'm able to go 8 months sans relaxer.

I think my whole family is a bit surprised on how well my transitioning is going. They expected me to cave, but I'm not, and think that it's making them a bit upset.

Oh well.

 

[Missi]

Lets face it...people with healthy and/or longer hair do get attention

10 black men & 10 black women in a room and all the women had short damaged hair...no one would take notice.

If one black women started a healthy hair journey and tried to spread the word...that means the other 9 would have to admit they want long hair & but dumb founded on what to do.

So that one black women achieves longer healthier hair. Now the other 9 women are "jealous" and now those 10 men notice her over 1st over the other 9.

Thats just my take on this behavior. My mother was the same way. I tried to teach her healthy hair care but she "didn't" wanna hear it. Now that "the million products" & "her ideas" didn't work...then she came-a crawling. Lol

 

[lilsparkle825]

My mom and sister started listening from the beginning, thank goodness...but I thought my cousins were a lost cause till one of them took my advice and started stretching her relaxers. Her hair is probably still a hot mess because we all know that one tip alone won't take your hair from NL to BSL, but it's a start

 

[Pompous Blue]

What a wonderful story OP......Your brother is right on! I hope he's able to influence the girls one at a time and maybe the love for our natural hair will spread in our community.....that relaxers are one of many style-choices for our hair and not a necessity.

 

[Adaoba2012]

Thats amazing that your brother was able to pick that up OP...my brother don't even care about what I'm doing to my hair they just know
I'm trying to grow it out...other than that most of my friends think I'm crazy and that my hair is never gonna grow *shrugs* oh well

 

[simplyhair]

Wow! That's a very nice and inspiring story.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

lmao your brother checked em huh? he betta be careful.

what he look like? ♥

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

What's awesome OP is that you know his future daughter's hair will be AWESOME!! He'll set his wife straight LOL I love it!

 

[lolascurls]

That is so good because he won't be another black man who doesn't understand our hair or will ask (often offensive) questions if a girl stretches her relaxers or goes natural!
Good job! Now, to hold a seminar for the young men to learn!

 

[Solitude]

May I ask why??

There are alot of men into haircare. Maybe his interest in your hair will encourage him to seek out cosmetology/barbering.

All of the men that I know that are into "hair care" (not barbering, but hair styling) have gender-identity issues. I could put some personal stories out there, but I don't want to offend anyone.

Cosmetology and barbering are honorable and often lucrative professions, but my parents both worked in manual labor and I'm finishing up law school. I'm not really interested in my son going into the hair care profession...just being honest!

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

All of the men that I know that are into "hair care" (not barbering, but hair styling) have gender-identity issues. I could put some personal stories out there, but I don't want to offend anyone.

Cosmetology and barbering are honorable and often lucrative professions, but my parents both worked in manual labor and I'm finishing up law school. I'm not really interested in my son going into the hair care profession...just being honest!

Im sorry, but if your son is going to have 'gender-identity' issues, keeping him disinterested in hair care isn't going to change his gayness or lack there of. But, I appreciate the honesty.

 

[Solitude]

Im sorry, but if your son is going to have 'gender-identity' issues, keeping him disinterested in hair care isn't going to change his gayness or lack there of. But, I appreciate the honesty.

No problem, but to be clear, I did not use the term "gay" - that was your word choice. I also did not say that hair care determines one's sexuality. There is more to gender identity than homosexuality.

It's each parent to his or her own. You can raise your son however you choose to. I find that people who don't have children are the first ones to tell a parent what he or she should or should not do. Children are extremely impressionable and it's well know that gender identity is formed at a very early age. The OP's brother is actually an adult, so my original post was slightly off topic, anyway.

As a mother of a black son in 2010, I have waaay more important things to worry about than his knowledge of relaxers.

 

[lea86111]

awww how cute!

 

[Aisling~Siahbon]

Your brother sounds smart and observant. My family is too ignorant about haircare and don't even want to hear it.

Same here.. my family beleives in grease, hot combs, and relax when there is 1 millileter of new growth! Root to tip!

I used to get A lot of insults.. that hurt bad at times... but my hair has grown fast.. my grandmother still hits me with the back handed compliments.. ( like you can't tell how long it is untill you straighten those naps or when you going to get it done?.. I got a blow dryer and a hot comb!) But, I got it straightend and trimmed.. I got some good compliments like ( it looks so healthy) And no one said anything when I decided to bun two out of the three weeks I was straight. I now have it in tiny twist that I did myself and I got a lot of questions and stares a family friend came over and she is determined I have to help her grow her damaged hair back... my family just sat there in silence...

OP how old is your brother? That's wonderful that he is like that... I wish I had a family that supported my hair practices and mostly naturalness...My family has self hate issues I think my grandmother passed it down to many of us... My mother is supportive.. but, I think some of my family members married outside their race to make sure their children would look a certain way.. I have a cousin who is very light but, she has 4A texture and they give her such a hard time.. She has had locs for the past 5 years and she is growing them out I think because of how my family can't resist insulting natural hair on any of us.

 

[Nix08]

My DH asked my girlfriend who I brought along on a HJ how her HJ was going and if she wanted MBL? My jaw dropped and she didn't know what he was talking about.....in the same conversation he let it slip that he's been using my Aloe Vera Juice -- I had thought it seemed to be decreasing fast!!!!

 

[Sondice]

lol thats why guys that grow out decide to grow out their hair have they're like so long. They dont play in like we do. If ne thing they put some grease in it, braid it, leave it alone, and take it done every once in a while to wash.

 

[Fine 4s]

I would have made it waaaaaaaaayyy too obvious of how proud I was interruption the convo and hugging him reeeeeeeeeally hard. You should see how I react to folks who received tips and love them. It's a love fest.

 

[che1219]

That's good OP, my son who is 14 told me when he gets married if he has any daughters he will be bringing them to me for me to do their hair and he is always telling me I should open a beauty salon so I can do some of the girls in his class hair.