NATURALS:WHO IS YOUR EMOTIONAL BACKBONE???

[Freespirit02]

I think every natural..whether newly natural, someone transitioning or someone who has bc'ed needs someone to encourage them to keep it up. It can be hard sometimes..ppl alway offer their negative opinion even when no one asked them. Anyway..my emotional backbone has been my hubby. He is the one who encouraged to go natural and to go weaveless after my bc. I have been a litte insecure about my short cut so I had a convo with him that went something like this.

Me: Babes..be honest with me..are you okay with my hair being like this..or do you want me to wear a weave until it grows out.
Hubby: Do what you want. I personally think you should let your hair breathe for a few months..Leave it alone.
Me: Are you sure? You sure you understand
Hubby: Your hair is apart of who you are..you are a black woman and you hair is going to go through stages..I'm behind you 100%.

AYYY..I love me some hubby.

(clearing my throat..hope no one saw me cheesing)

Anyway.. who was your backbone.

 

[Janet']

I guess that this question wouldn't really apply to me because although I am natural, I long-term transitioned and there wasn't just one person who was my backbone, I actually was fortunate enough to have an entire support system...

 

[Freespirit02]

I guess that this question wouldn't really apply to me because although I am natural, I long-term transitioned and there wasn't just one person who was my backbone, I actually was fortunate enough to have an entire support system...

You are lucky! I got some and from the family..but i think they are getting use to it!

 

[B3e]

I'm the oldest so I am naturally inclined to be my #1 cheerleader. But I don't mind, yes it is hard sometimes, but being able to be my sisters', mum's, cousin's, friends #1 cheerleader as a result is worth it.

My SO makes it easier though by loving all of me regardless of what my hair looks like in any given month. I don't think I would be so completely carefree if he were against my hair journey.

One of my close friends, he's from central mexico, asked me about my hair curiously. Being able to openly tell him, I cut it off and am inching my way back to a decent length naturally is quite invigorating. He, and others that ask, are genuinely curious. I'm pretty easy to talk to so I love informing and laughing with them about my mini struggles.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

DH, my two godsisters, and my cousin

 

[winona]

My hubby. Sometimes I wished that I had a whole support system but this experience has really brought us closer together.

 

[Harina]

LHCF And My brother a bit. He recently said my hair was nice. Awwwww....

Honestly, Even my mom said at first that maybe I should get a relaxer. Now that it's getting longer, she just says don't cut my hair. Most people when I went natural, didn't say anything. I got a lot of "are you going to lock your hair", "are you going to get a relaxer." A few snickers here and there. But now that I'm starting to retain more, I don't get that as much. But for the first part, it's really been reading stories and advice on here that's helped me push through and just my personal knowledge that I've had long healthy hair in the past, so why not now. Sad I know.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

I guess I was my own cheerleader too. I didn't have to ask anyone for their approval or re-assurance that I looked 'good'.

I got some negative comments from friends, family and co-workers..So what. This was about ME! It's my journey and my head it's growing from. I will say it is refreshing to view fotkis an read other naturals hair progress from forums too.

 

[Kay.Dee]

My little sister. She's always positive and always has her hands in my hair.

And I'm trying to encourage her to transition. I tried about a year ago but my parents weren't having it. The "made" her relax. Now that's she's graduated from high school and has a job (can pay for her own hair) she's thinking about trying again.

 

[ms.blue]

I'm my own emotional support. My family doesn't support my natural hair. Also one friend went back to relaxers and another friend has always a negative comment about my natural hair and she is natural too with very similar hairtype. Witnessing all the natural hair on this board gives me the support to stay natural. Not leave out all the relaxed ladies out, I love y'all as well.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Me and Jesus all the way. Haters all around. Family silent...Friends silent. No hoorah team. A few family members..ignorant ones had jokes. No folks cant get off me...TML TML..When I was short and nappy y'all couldnt stand me now my hair is bangin and hangin' y'all all on me. TML....I'm TML...I'm TML!


Jesus and me all the way.

 

[Miss_C]

My mom, and my ex-bf. Both encourage me to keep it up.

 

[nappystorm]

You guys were

 

[jada1111]

I think every natural..whether newly natural, someone transitioning or someone who has bc'ed needs someone to encourage them to keep it up. It can be hard sometimes..ppl alway offer their negative opinion even when no one asked them. Anyway..my emotional backbone has been my hubby. He is the one who encouraged to go natural and to go weaveless after my bc. I have been a litte insecure about my short cut so I had a convo with him that went something like this.

Me: Babes..be honest with me..are you okay with my hair being like this..or do you want me to wear a weave until it grows out.
Hubby: Do what you want. I personally think you should let your hair breathe for a few months..Leave it alone.
Me: Are you sure? You sure you understand
Hubby: Your hair is apart of who you are..you are a black woman and you hair is going to go through stages..I'm behind you 100%.

AYYY..I love me some hubby.

(clearing my throat..hope no one saw me cheesing)

Anyway.. who was your backbone.

Why does going natural have to be this deep?

Ever since I've been visiting the natural hair boards several years ago, I hear these messed up stories about folks being told negative things about their hair. I mean I'm really saddened that even TODAY there still needs to be a nappy support group, especially when you see naturals EVERYWHERE.

I have no emotional backbone, because I don't need one. I went natural when not too many folks were doing it. I wanted my hair like this when I started seeing all these beautiful fros about ten years ago. No, it wasn't that many, but the few I did see made me want to get rid of the straight hair.

Once I did my research on the net (how to comb, products, etc.) I began a year long transition. If I knew what I know NOW I never would have waited that long. Today I would just get a twa and grow it out. There was one or two people that asked why I did it, but they didn't say anything stupid. Wouldn't have mattered if they did. I had a boyfriend at the time too. I know he didn't like it, but there wasn't too much he or anyone else could say or do. I'm grown and pay my own bills.

I'm glad your hubby supports you. Right now, his opinion is the only one that should count to you. Even if it didn't, you should still do what's best for YOU.

 

[SimJam]

I am my own cheerleader/back bone etc ... thats my personality in general so it wuddnt be any different in this situation. Honestly, being natural a challenge for me.

my familiy immeadiate and extended have no issues with my being natural, though neither my mom or sister are natural, 4 of my 6 aunts on my moms side are natural and have been for yeeeeeears (only 1 on my dads side) and several cousins on both sides are natural (locks ect) so its not like Im the charting out a new path or anythign lol

the biggest "opposition" I got though has been from my b/fs family (he is fine with my hair) especially one of his sisters who always feels the need to point out that I have "bad hair" and that hers curls when its wet LOLOLOL

Thinking abt it now, if my b/f nvr put her in her place around the dinner table one day, I think it wud have been rough for me ... I mean is only b/c my mother taught me to be respectful to my elders that I nvr tell her bout her bumbo that day

 

[kmn1980]

My quick wit and smart a$$ mouth is my backbone.

 

[FRESHstart101]

my cousin, she also convinced me to actually go natural with her.
i took the big plunge in BCing because i LOVED the idea of just
seeing MY REAL hair again. while shes still transitioning we still
do support each other and are constantly at battle with out
family because no one else really understands our decision.

 

[Avaya]

My quick wit and smart a$$ mouth is my backbone.

I've been itching for someone to say something out of pocket to me, just itching, but alas, no takers .

 

[frizzy]

NP's website did it for me when I was natural, then I started coming to LHCF.

 

[KikiB]

My baby niece is my backbone. Although she is only 1yrs old she inspires me to stay natural. I want her to at least have that one family member that is all natural, dark, and beautiful; and when she comes to that age to make her decision she will have me as an example of a natural beauty.

 

[jupitermoon]

I'm my own support system. My need to be natural comes from within so support from others isn't necessary. I love the freedom that my natural hair provides and that's what I had in mind when I began my transition several years ago. I did my research and knew what to expect. Some people like my natural hair and others don't but being natural is something that I want and that's all that matters.

 

[prettybyrd]

I'm on the fence about reaching out for support for natural hair because people can be fickle. If you invest too much of your esteem in the opinions of others, you may lose your appreciation for your natural hair if they don't value it as much as you do.

However, I think that this forum is a great place for newbies to gather information and perhaps hook up with a mentor or two who are old hats at the natural thing.

I would also suggest for those looking for support, or an emotional backbone while natural, to look within. You know your reasons for going natural; embrace those reasons and love your hair and the journey. If you decide that it's not for you, you are not accountable to anyone, and you're not a failure for trying and going back. Some of us "went natural' more than once before it felt right. I went natural for the first time at 19 (with LOTS of support - from friends not family), but it wasn't until I was 27 that I really wanted to be natural and fully embraced it.

Good luck!!

 

[SND411]

I have none. Just me and God.

 

[coolsista-paris]

My first one: me!
second: hubby

 

[IrisDaVirus]

By a landslide I'm my own emotional backbone. In good times or bad I can always count on myself when it comes to my natural hair.

 

[NicBenny]

My quick wit and smart a$$ mouth is my backbone.

I love this!

Ummm, I was a straight natural until 20. I have been relaxed for about 10 years and I hate what the relaxer has done to my tresses over time. So when I made the decision to transition, that was all I needed.

I do have supporters that say "you have good hair, so you can do that" or "you never needed to relax to begin with" and so on. AND I have had negative comments - my stylist told me that my hair was "nappy" ... so it's all relative.

My backbone is my own. I know I have beautiful hair and I look forward to the day when my hair is in it's true state. I'll take my good hair or nappy hair and just continue on my journey.

 

[MsLizziA]

LHCF , NC.com, Curlynikki.com, my blog readers, and twitter.

No IRL i have no backbone. And before i found any of these sites, which was in 2009 and i been on this hair journey since 08, i was my own backbone. If i have something i want to do, i don't care how anybody feels about it even if i have to go it alone

 

[Freespirit02]

Why does going natural have to be this deep?

Ever since I've been visiting the natural hair boards several years ago, I hear these messed up stories about folks being told negative things about their hair. I mean I'm really saddened that even TODAY there still needs to be a nappy support group, especially when you see naturals EVERYWHERE.

I have no emotional backbone, because I don't need one. I went natural when not too many folks were doing it. I wanted my hair like this when I started seeing all these beautiful fros about ten years ago. No, it wasn't that many, but the few I did see made me want to get rid of the straight hair.

Once I did my research on the net (how to comb, products, etc.) I began a year long transition. If I knew what I know NOW I never would have waited that long. Today I would just get a twa and grow it out. There was one or two people that asked why I did it, but they didn't say anything stupid. Wouldn't have mattered if they did. I had a boyfriend at the time too. I know he didn't like it, but there wasn't too much he or anyone else could say or do. I'm grown and pay my own bills.

I'm glad your hubby supports you. Right now, his opinion is the only one that should count to you. Even if it didn't, you should still do what's best for YOU.

I don't know where you live..but in Miami..hardly anyone is natural! Maybe about 10 percent of the black women here are. I still get stares..like omg look at her hair. Ppl ask to touch it because they never see black women with their hair natural. Majority has relaxers or a weave.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

I don't know where you live..but in Miami..hardly anyone is natural! Maybe about 10 percent of the black women here are. I still get stares..like omg look at her hair. Ppl ask to touch it because they never see black women with their hair natural. Majority has relaxers or a weave.

When I have visited Miami, I saw alot of naturals...hmm maybe they were tourists like me though erplexed


Anywho, Look..I'm in O-H-I-O..and natural hair is basically unheard of here. Everyone is in Remy weaves, BSS lacefronts (this is getting big ) quickweaves, and broken off relaxers.

I still get the stares. I still get the I still get the, "girl I'd love to go natural but my man wouldn't like it" comments too.

Screw them! Be your own support system. If you are confident in your decision it will shine through and keep them moving too.

 

[e.lauren]

Definitely my sister (nerdsauce) she taught me just about everything I know about caring for my hair and I've been natural all my life !! lol. When I didn't appreciate my hair she did : ]. Also my cousin who I inspired to go natural, her looking up to the progress of my hair health helps me along.

And my friend who I call my brother just started his dreds and we all just help each other out. I would never relax but they keep me from chopping all my hair off when I'm simply just too tired to deal with my hair

And all my aunts and my mom cut all their hair off and mainly rock a short cut so they're down for the natural cause lol.