How the heck do yall transition?!

[newbeginnings2010]

Whoa; I don't think that's how she meant it with her comment. No one is on their high horse around here. As people who have transitioned before, we are just giving advice....the question was asked "How the heck do y'all transition?!" So those who've gone through it are answering.

All we are saying is that the "I look busted" phase doesn't have to exist. There are ways to work around that. Your hair can still look nice. It's about finding things that work with your hair and not against it. If you're still trying to treat your newgrowth like you are your relaxed portions then it's not going to work.....and would result in "busted."

There are plenty of styling options for transitioning hair. And unless her hair is like earlength short where the styling is extremely limited (in which her hair length is not), then she has options, and busted is not one of them.

Excuse us for trying to help.

I don't think she's talking about the OP. She's talking about the comment quoted above her post that's telling her to just give up.

ETA: This is the comment she's talking about:

If you're saying things like "I look busted", you ain't ready for this lifestyle. You obviously understand what your relaxed hair likes, so stick with what you know. Try again in a few months/years. *shrug*

At least you accomplished a long stretch.

I agree with the ljbee. We come on the board looking for support, not a "You can't do this" response. I personally don't like when I get comments like this when I'm looking for support, so I know where ljbee is coming from. I only wish I could come in and be upfront like that with the naysayers and "Negative Nancy's." Good job ljbee!

 

[Priss Pot]

I don't think she's talking about the OP. She's talking about the comment quoted above her post that's telling her to just give up.

ETA: This is the comment she's talking about:



I agree with the originally quoted text. We come on the board looking for support, not a "You can't do this" response. I personally don't like when I get comments like this when I'm looking for support, so I know where she is coming from.

I know, and that's what I was responding to.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

I know, and that's what I was responding to.

Ohhh, my bad! No offense, but I still don't agree with the negativity...

 

[Priss Pot]

Ohhh, my bad! No offense, but I still don't agree with the negativity...

I don't agree with it either, which is why I responded. No one is on a "high horse" around here, but whatever.

 

[glamazon386]

Whoa; I don't think that's how she (lilsparkle) meant it with her comment. No one is on their high horse around here. As people who have transitioned before, we are just giving advice....the question was asked "How the heck do y'all transition?!" So those who've gone through it are answering.

All we are saying is that the "I look busted" phase doesn't have to exist. There are ways to work around that. Your hair can still look nice. It's about finding things that work with your hair and not against it. If you're still trying to treat your newgrowth like you are your relaxed portions then it's not going to work.....and would result in "busted."

There are plenty of styling options for transitioning hair. And unless her hair is like earlength short where the styling is extremely limited (in which her hair length is not), then she has options, and busted is not one of them.

Excuse us for trying to help.

ITA... I don't think lilsparkle meant it like that either. And in my experience most of the people who express the sentimentslilsparkle referred to end up relaxing and end their transition or they actually go through with BCing and then go back to the relaxer and start all over again. They haven't figured it out yet. Whether it's how not to look "busted" or just how to handle their new natural hair. There was some truth to that statement. It is what it is. That mental transition can be really hard for some people.

But you know what's funny? I've picked out quite a few transitioners that way. They were having what looked like a "hair WTF day" and then either they said they were transitioning or they ended up BCing shortly after. I knew it at first glance.

 

[Carrie A]

I always tell people that transitioning isn't for the faint of heart LOL

You have to keep your eye on the prize and think of your goal. My new growth punched, kicked and karate chopped my relaxed hair and it took forever to detangle, but I kept going until I BC'd. If something doesn't work then you'll have to find another regimen, method, hairstyle. Wet Ponytails with headbands were fine the first 4 months and after that only rollersets saved me. I had to just keep trying to figure it out. You'll be ok just hang in there girlie!



I looked busted for 10 months and looking back it was all worth it. You couldn't pay me to relax my hair.

I had several failed attempts at transitioning but I was ready (armed with board knowledge) I finally succeeded. I cut my relaxed hair short, shaved the back and grew it out. I didn't use extensions only rollersets so the was a "busted period"- although I didn't look at it that way. And in reality nobody even noticed what I was doing. I took it for what it was, transitioning and embraced all the awkward style phases. They all pass and when you come out on the other side it's so liberating. All goals have challenges- just focus on the end and use your knowledge to ease the bumps. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can do it.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

I had several failed attempts at transitioning but I was ready (armed with board knowledge) I finally succeeded. I cut my relaxed hair short, shaved the back and grew it out. I didn't use extensions only rollersets so the was a "busted period"- although I didn't look at it that way. And in reality nobody even noticed what I was doing. I took it for what it was, transitioning and embraced all the awkward style phases. They all pass and when you come out on the other side it's so liberating. All goals have challenges- just focus on the end and use your knowledge to ease the bumps. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can do it.

@ the bolded, I think that people who do the BC early with a long term goal in mind like BSL are also technically in a transitioning period. They don't plan on keeping a TWA. They are almost transitioning to longer hair.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

^^^Not sure if I'd call it a transitioning period. I normally think of transitioning as....going from one phase to the next (phases that are drastically different from one another): relaxed to natuarl, pre-op to post op lol. They are just on a journey to longer hair. I would explain more but I have to run to class. Maybe I'll come back and edit!

 

[septemberbaby]

I transitioned with half-wigs and braids. I never bc'd. It wasn't easy but I'm soooooooo glad I hung in there. I love being natural!

 

[newbeginnings2010]

^^^Not sure if I'd call it a transitioning period. I normally think of transitioning as....going from one phase to the next (phases that are drastically different from one another): relaxed to natuarl, pre-op to post op lol. They are just on a journey to longer hair. I would explain more but I have to run to class. Maybe I'll come back and edit!

Hm. Maybe journey is a better word for it. My godsister BC'ed but she still considers herself transitioning because she hasn't gotten back to her old length.

 

[Computer Blue]

Whoa; I don't think that's how she (lilsparkle) meant it with her comment. No one is on their high horse around here. As people who have transitioned before, we are just giving advice....the question was asked "How the heck do y'all transition?!" So those who've gone through it are answering.

All we are saying is that the "I look busted" phase doesn't have to exist. There are ways to work around that. Your hair can still look nice. It's about finding things that work with your hair and not against it. If you're still trying to treat your newgrowth like you are your relaxed portions then it's not going to work.....and would result in "busted."

There are plenty of styling options for transitioning hair. And unless her hair is like earlength short where the styling is extremely limited (in which her hair length is not), then she has options, and busted is not one of them.

Excuse us for trying to help.

Thanks was not enough, excellent post, cosign 100% I saw where she was coming from, but how things are misconstrued over the internet.

 

[ellebelle88]

Whoa; I don't think that's how she (lilsparkle) meant it with her comment. No one is on their high horse around here. As people who have transitioned before, we are just giving advice....the question was asked "How the heck do y'all transition?!" So those who've gone through it are answering.

All we are saying is that the "I look busted" phase doesn't have to exist. There are ways to work around that. Your hair can still look nice. It's about finding things that work with your hair and not against it. If you're still trying to treat your newgrowth like you are your relaxed portions then it's not going to work.....and would result in "busted."

There are plenty of styling options for transitioning hair. And unless her hair is like earlength short where the styling is extremely limited (in which her hair length is not), then she has options, and busted is not one of them.

Excuse us for trying to help.

Hey there, I'm not talking about anyone who really did try to help.

I've been on the board for quite a few years now and yes, there are people who are on their high horses. But that's not the point of my thread. OP asked for tips on how to transition. The post I was responding to didn't give any advice but rather sarcastically told her to give up. Say what you want about "Oh she's just stating the truth," but transitioners aren't here for negativity, but rather support.

And you don't have to remind me about the hundreds of people who say they are transitioning and don't make it past month 5. I know about them, but what do I care if they say they are transitioning and end up relaxing? At least they tried. Besides, I know plenty who took 5 or 6 attempts before they really got the hang of transitioning. So their prior efforts were not in vain. It's not my place to call them on that.

All I'm saying is that if you don't have anything positive to say, why say anything at all? Honestly, lilsparkle's post helped no one.

 

[ellebelle88]

All we are saying is that the "I look busted" phase doesn't have to exist. There are ways to work around that. Your hair can still look nice. It's about finding things that work with your hair and not against it. If you're still trying to treat your newgrowth like you are your relaxed portions then it's not going to work.....and would result in "busted."

Sorry for another post, but I just wanna respond to this.

I do believe that there are ways to work with your hair while it's transitioning but I'm just asking for you to be realistic about the difficulties associated with it. Working with two textures is not as simple as it may seem. I'm at a super-intensive summer program on the west coast and I'm from the east coast. There are some days when I need to wash my hair but I don't have the time to devote to a 4 hour wash day when I have readings and studying to do which keeps me up to 3 AM. I have no transportation and I don't know any hair stylists or the location of any BSS in the near vicinity.

So yes, right now it is pretty hard for me because all I'm doing is sticking to bunning, which gets old as you could imagine and I don't have any product to make it lie flat. If I had the time and money to devote right now, maybe my outlook would be different. But I feel like some of these posts act like we are supposed to have it all figured out while we are transitioning. That is not the case. People live and learn.

For the record, I gave up on my relaxed hair because I'm tired of crying over relaxer burns and I'm tired of fighting hairstylists who don't know how to care for my hair. I went thru hell with getting relaxers as well, so no I really didn't appreciate that comment when I was just airing my frustrations. But I do apologize if I came off negative and I won't respond to this anymore because I know it falls on deaf ears.

 

[Priss Pot]

So are you looking for mainly various styles or just an easier way to transition? Because the buns you're doing sound like a sure enough less difficult way to do it. I don't want to make it sound like transitioning is a breeze, but at the same time it's not *that* hard. It really depends on what you're trying to do.

As I stated earlier, I transitioned for 8 months wearing buns (using the sock).

1x a week, I'd:

-Shampoo & Condition
-Apply leave-in and detangle w/ Jilbere shower comb
-Rollerset w/ 1inch magnetic rollers (with the snap cover)
-Sit under the dryer for about 45 minutes
-Remove rollers, apply a heavy moisturizer (QB Amla & Olive Heavy Cream or Shealoe), concentrating on the ends
-Smooth hair into a bun (sock bun).
-Put Fantasia IC gel on my edges, tied down with a scarf to help lay flat.


.......and that was it. That was my routine every week for 8 months except for the few times that I'd do a rod set or straighten. It honestly wasn't hard. I didn't try to do any fancy stuff; I didn't use a million and one concoctions. I kept it simple and neat, and it got me through those 8 months.

 

[ellebelle88]

So are you looking for mainly various styles or just an easier way to transition? Because the buns you're doing sound like a sure enough less difficult way to do it. I don't want to make it sound like transitioning is a breeze, but at the same time it's not *that* hard. It really depends on what you're trying to do.

As I stated earlier, I transitioned for 8 months wearing buns (using the sock).

1x a week, I'd:

-Shampoo & Condition
-Apply leave-in and detangle w/ Jilbere shower comb
-Rollerset w/ 1inch magnetic rollers (with the snap cover)
-Sit under the dryer for about 45 minutes
-Remove rollers, apply a heavy moisturizer (QB Amla & Olive Heavy Cream or Shealoe), concentrating on the ends
-Smooth hair into a bun (sock bun).
-Put Fantasia IC gel on my edges, tied down with a scarf to help lay flat.


.......and that was it. That was my routine every week for 8 months except for the few times that I'd do a rod set or straighten. It honestly wasn't hard. I didn't try to do any fancy stuff; I didn't use a million and one concoctions. I kept it simple and neat, and it got me through those 8 months.

Hey there. First off, I want to thank you for your response on how you transitioned. It was helpful. But I just wanna say that I visited your fotki and your texture/roots look extremely different from what I remember mine being. Your roots look like my roommates which are much easier to tame than mine. I got my first relaxer at 16, so I remember my hair for the most part and it looked nothing like yours. You look like a 3 b/c. I'm sure I will be a 4b. With that being said...

I think that our transition is probably gonna be a little bit different. I'm looking for easy hairstyles AND an easy way to transition. I don't wanna keep doing ponytails every day because they are breaking my hair off and all of the jam I am using is making it greasy within one day.

I suck at rollersets but I'm definitely gonna try them. I haven't been able to experiment because I don't have any of my supplies with me, much less a hooded dryer. Thanks for the tip.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Hey there. First off, I want to thank you for your response on how you transitioned. It was helpful. But I just wanna say that I visited your fotki and your texture/roots look extremely different from what I remember mine being. Your roots look like my roommates which are much easier to tame than mine. I got my first relaxer at 16, so I remember my hair for the most part and it looked nothing like yours. You look like a 3 b/c. I'm sure I will be a 4b. With that being said...

I think that our transition is probably gonna be a little bit different. I'm looking for easy hairstyles AND an easy way to transition. I don't wanna keep doing ponytails every day because they are breaking my hair off and all of the jam I am using is making it greasy within one day.

I suck at rollersets but I'm definitely gonna try them. I haven't been able to experiment because I don't have any of my supplies with me, much less a hooded dryer. Thanks for the tip.

Hmm...I don't want to sound negative but it sounds like you are just making excuses. Are you saying that you are not near any drug store that you can't buy simple products? I am 4a/4b and yes at times detangling got difficult but you have to learn to get through them. I went from spending an hour detangling to 20 minutes. Being frustrated and having negative thoughts about your hair isn't going to make things any easier. It could be my memory, but I don't recall ever even seeing you post in the transitioners threads and asking questions...but I do have a sucky memory. Nevertheless, you are not limited to just doing buns. You can do braids, you can do braidouts. It takes me 10-15 minutes tops to style my hair in the morning and I don't spend 4 hours on wash days. You just have to find styles and techniques that work for you. I know doing this during school is hard but honestly, if you are on this bored, you have some time to spare. I detangle my hair while I'm reading for class. You just have to stop having the attitude where you're shutting people off (like you just did because that lady has a type 3 texture) and try to take everyone's advice and apply it to your own hair.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Hmm...I don't want to sound negative but it sounds like you are just making excuses. Are you saying that you are not near any drug store that you can't buy simple products? I am 4a/4b and yes at times detangling got difficult but you have to learn to get through them. I went from spending an hour detangling to 20 minutes. Being frustrated and having negative thoughts about your hair isn't going to make things any easier. It could be my memory, but I don't recall ever even seeing you post in the transitioners threads and asking questions...but I do have a sucky memory. Nevertheless, you are not limited to just doing buns. You can do braids, you can do braidouts. It takes me 10-15 minutes tops to style my hair in the morning and I don't spend 4 hours on wash days. You just have to find styles and techniques that work for you. I know doing this during school is hard but honestly, if you are on this bored, you have some time to spare. I detangle my hair while I'm reading for class. You just have to stop having the attitude where you're shutting people off (like you just did because that lady has a type 3 texture) and try to take everyone's advice and apply it to your own hair.

Well.....she is kinda right. I am a 3c/4a and my sister is a 4b/cnapp, and our transitions were completely different. Stuff that worked for me just didn't work for her sometimes. it ultimately came down to her keeping her hair in braids for a year until she was ready to BC, and even after that year, most of the relaxed part had broken off. The textures were just TOO different. (And to answer the forthcoming questions, she moisturized/sealed and DC'd more often than I did.)

I am not saying this to discredit your advice about posting in the transitioners' thread, but if she is sure she is a COMPLETELY different texture than Priss Pot, then she has a little bit of room to talk. I mean, I DON'T expect 3b's and 4b's to take the same hair advice at this point in my journey.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Well.....she is kinda right. I am a 3c/4a and my sister is a 4b/cnapp, and our transitions were completely different. Stuff that worked for me just didn't work for her sometimes. it ultimately came down to her keeping her hair in braids for a year until she was ready to BC, and even after that year, most of the relaxed part had broken off. The textures were just TOO different. (And to answer the forthcoming questions, she moisturized/sealed and DC'd more often than I did.)

I am not saying this to discredit your advice about posting in the transitioners' thread, but if she is sure she is a COMPLETELY different texture than Priss Pot, then she has a little bit of room to talk. I mean, I DON'T expect 3b's and 4b's to take the same hair advice at this point in my journey.

I didn't say that the experience is similar. I said she should not shut people out like that. For one thing, Priss Pot gave a simple and common regimen that many type 4 ladies do. And that was the LAST thing I even said that shouldn't even be focused on. Of course I know the experience is going to be different between a type 3's transition and a type 4's transition. But for such a simple reggie that I've seen many ladies do, how can someone just discredit it without even trying it first? If you don't have time, that's one thing. If you just want to look at someones hair, that's a whole different story. Being of the same hair type is not going to ensure that someone's reggie will work for you and that is the bottom line. I wouldn't even dream of being able to do Sylver2's reggie with her 4b hair because I know my hair. The majority of the stuff that's said on here doesn't work for me or I don't agree with for my hair. The point is to get to know your hair better, find techniques and reggies, ask a variety of people, and things will get easier.

BTW those questions weren't coming because I don't even believe in daily M&Sing or DCing.

 

[lilsparkle825]

That's flawed thinking on your part.

I was one of the ones who said, "I look busted" but do I think that I am ready for this lifestyle change when it comes to my hair? Honestly, I do. I could go into all the reasons explaining it to you but I don't really care to.

The thing is, we all want our hair to look nice. That's part of the reason we are on this hair board. But the new growth coupled with the two textures makes hairstyling difficult a lot of times. You'd be lying if you'd say it didn't. So yes, I'm a little frustrated at this point, but am I giving up? Definitely not.

So get off your high horse and stop thinking that transitioning goes smoothly only if you are "mentally" ready. There wouldn't be so many transitioners support threads if that were true.

Apparently I made that last post without going back and reading what had happened since I posted yesterday. I apologize if I come off as being on a "high horse" because I completed a transition (and have helped quite a few others do so as well) and was trying to state what seemed to ME to be the obvious. In my experience, those who say things like "I look busted" say so because their hair no longer looks the way they are used to it being, i.e. straight. Heck, the first time I wore my hair curly, you're right -- I did have a "this is new" moment -- but I darn sure didn't tell myself I looked busted. I had, out of necessity, already prepared myself for what I was gonna hear from a lot of OTHER people who had NOTHING to do with what was going on with MY hair. In my experience (emphasized for the sensitive), those who talk down on their own hair are already downtrodden because they think they look crazy, and thus are devastated when a friend/family member/SO say something like "what happened to you?" or "when are you going to do something to your hair?" From there, it's a short walk back to relaxed. The good news is that if you really ARE ready, you will regret getting that relaxer and make a more sustained effort to transition.

Just a bit of tough love. That's all it was.

 

[RedVelvet310]

I don't know HOW people do it... which is why I BC'd

.
.
.

And then threw some weave on that piece ♪

 

[lilsparkle825]

I didn't say that the experience is similar. I said she should not shut people out like that. For one thing, Priss Pot gave a simple and common regimen that many type 4 ladies do. And that was the LAST thing I even said that shouldn't even be focused on. Of course I know the experience is going to be different between a type 3's transition and a type 4's transition. But for such a simple reggie that I've seen many ladies do, how can someone just discredit it without even trying it first? If you don't have time, that's one thing. If you just want to look at someones hair, that's a whole different story. Being of the same hair type is not going to ensure that someone's reggie will work for you and that is the bottom line. I wouldn't even dream of being able to do Sylver2's reggie with her 4b hair because I know my hair. The majority of the stuff that's said on here doesn't work for me or I don't agree with for my hair. The point is to get to know your hair better, find techniques and reggies, ask a variety of people, and things will get easier.

BTW those questions weren't coming because I don't even believe in daily M&Sing or DCing.

I will admit that while a type 3 and type 4 may not be able to follow the same transitioning regimen, all type 4 transitioners (heck....or naturals, OR relaxed heads) can't follow the same directions either. As for the rest, I reread Priss Pot's regimen and it does seem pretty straightforward for all hair types, and I can see where you were coming from. I'll chalk that up to me reading too quickly.

 

[BostonMaria]

I had the sengelase twists put it. I just took them out after a little less than a month. I have about 2 inches of newgrowth and I'm 3 months post. I CAN'T PUT MY FINGERS THROUGH MY HEAD. AT ALL!

I know I'm tryna lay off direct heat, but I flat ironed it on 375 to try to get my roots straight. They puffed right back up and my hair smells burnt. Just a mess.

After a detangled after taking the braids down, I first deep conditioned with Keracare Dandruff Conditioner just to get some slip. Then I washed it out and made a concoction of 2 tablespoons of GVP Joico Kpak, 2 tablespoons of pure honey, 3 tablespoons of olive oil, and 4 tablespoons of Silk Elements Moisturizing Treatment to get some moisture/protein back in my head.

My hair felt softer but STILL hard. I look like a troll doll. This is the reason why I don't think I could never make it natural. I don't wanna have to look a mess to get there, and I don't want to go bald...my head is too long for that.

WTF am I gonna do to look more presentable...besides going to the creamy crack? (I'm thinking real hard about that though!)

I forgot to mention that I found it easier to actually continue my relaxed hair regimen (yeah its controversial around here LOL ) than trying to make it act like natural hair. Once I did that (rollersets and flatirons) my hair reacted better, was able to hide the two textures and I didn't look a HAM. I cut my hair because I was falling in love with the length and I didn't want to go back to relaxers.

One thing kept me going - knowing that if I gave up I'd have to start ALL over again. If I didn't give up my transition from day one I'd literally be about 10 years natural instead of 3. God knows how long my hair would be. I'd be Member of the Month or a Senior Vice President of a corporation by now! LOL j/k If you relax today (not saying you are) then all hair you just relaxed will be chopped off. I would shudder at the thought LOL

Just keep going and think about your goals.

 

[A_Christian]

Don't know if I'm transitioning or just doing a really long stretch (haven't decided yet) but I've been wearing twists, twist-outs, and roller sets during my stretch (currently 50 weeks post). I've flat-ironed a few times but not often. I just ensure that I moisturize well, paying particular attention to the roots and ends and always sleep in twists to ensure that my hair doesn't get tangled up at night.

 

[Imani]

I'm almost 1 year post. I took an unpopular route, I have been using heat the entire time. I've had virtually zero breakage at the demarcation line and for the most part transitioning has been a breeze.

I get my hair flat ironed weekly at a natural salon. I also do a deep conditioners under the steamer. At first I did them weekly, then went to 2 or 3 times a month once my moisture level got up. As I've gotten more natural hair and trimmed off some of the relaxed hair, I rarely do conditioners with protein in them, it is usually straight moisture. I will enjoy my hair straight for the weekend, then during the work week I am in half wigs bc I exercise hard. Now that I'm getting more natural hair, I've been eyeballing some lace front wigs. I never ever use heat on dirty hair, only on wash day.

I haven't read thru this whole thread, just breezed through a couple of comments, and I agree that you just have to figure out what works for you. I've never really had a problem with heat when done correctly, so thats the route I went.

Right now I'm in kinky twists extensions (which I have really enjoyed), and will evaluate how my hair does in these to see if I want to start alternating between wearing braids and wearing my hair straight to give my hair breaks from the heat.