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* Spinoff * Naturals: The "ugly" phase...how did you get through?

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kbragg

kbragg

Well-Known Member
Thanks Vain Jane a Zeal for mentioning this. I am on my 3rd transition. My second transition I actually did BC but after several months I hit that "ugly" awkward phase where your hair is not short enough to pull off a cute TWO but not long enough to bun, rock a nice round puff, or even pick out into a shapely fro. It's like it won't stand up yet won't quite hang.

Anyway long story short I bought a so called "texture softener" that was just supposed to loosen my curl and if left me bone straight. I plan to transition longer this time to avoid that phase but since I'm a coily coarse 4B it's getting harder to deal with the two textures and I may end up cutting again:ohwell:

So any veteran naturals have any advice on how to survive the "ugly" phase? It seems like the only solution is fake hair but I have a low tolerance for it:ohwell:
 
it was fake hair for me....half wigs, and i absolutely detest fake hair all the time :nono:, but I dont like short hair so that was my thing...I dont wear half wigs now.
 
Sorry to say - but mine was braids. I know you don't like fake hair, but I had micros done twice, by the time I took the last set out, I was doing twists and twist outs and looking great. This was like 10 years ago though, so I'm not sure which styles would be best now.
 
I wore kinky twist which I regret later on, because i wasnt moisturizing the right way and when I decided to wear my hair freely. I had single strand knots and split ends out this world.
 
I feel as if I am an at awkward stage concerning natural hair. I'm halfway between neck and apl and I can't seem to wear a cute afro puff. My hair is too long up top and flops over instead of standing up like a good puff should.

Same thing with wearing a twist out or braid out. It seems they would just work better if my hair was longer or shorter.

I used to wear a cute curly afro with a headband but now my hair doesn't look cute like that anymore.
 
I never really had an 'ugly' phase. I admit, I'm not the most creative, so I spent alot of time in wngo's and pulled up in a puff most times. I also would do the half wigs (this was back when I didn't have a healthy hair regimen)

Youtube has so many awesome videos showcasing women with natural hair of all lengths. They have some cute styles that I would've never even thought was possible when my hair was at that length.
 
For me it was rollersets. The first 5 months I could get away with washing my hair and putting it in a ponytail. After a while I couldn't get my hair to lay down, I was a hot mess LOL

So rollersetting and then flatironing the roots was what worked for me. It disguised the two textures very well... well till water hit my head then I was a HAM again
 
Twistouts, Scarves and hair accessories. Lots of them. This was my hair the first year natural (two years of growth).

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I've been wearing twists, and when I wear it out I pull it back just a little bit to give the illusion that I have a really big Afro puff.
 
Kash said:
can someone explain the ugly phase? i never heard of that.
Click to expand...


I wouldn't call it an ugly phase, it's more of an awkward stage, where it's too long to be short, but too short to be long. I'm in that stage right now and it is frustrating but I'm dealing.
 
Hey I wouldn't call it ugly thin of it this way if your hair doesn't get to this point, it'll never make it down your back
but ther are tons of theings you can do cornrow eyour natural hair, box braids,twists or flat twist,coils, flat coils, coil outs Straw sets, perm rod sets or even 1 inch rollerset. bantu knots and UPDOS. Just start stickin in bobby pins until it all stays up there. It'll be cute. dont stress in a few months you'll be beyond this point
 
Yea it was weaves, braids, and wash n gos for me. Mostly weaves and braids. Just flew right past that stage and putting it away stopped me from wanting to do something stupid like cutting it or whatever other dumb idea i had at the time.
 
I'm not quite there yet, but I do feel like I'm in an "ugly phase" sometimes when I can't do anything to my hair. I have 17 weeks of new growth tomorrow and I'm a little past SL. Right now I do one of Mummysgirl's styles: the individual plaits. I do them on my own hair and pull them back into a ponytail. Then I wear a cute scarf or hair accessory. I also put smaller plaits in the front and pull them out of the scarf to wear as bangs. I roll them at night so that my ponytail and bangs have some curl. Then I just leave it alone. I spritz with water and coconut oil twice a day and I plan on washing every two weeks and rebraiding until I feel cute again! :yep:
 
Just try to hold on to the ends as long as possible- at least 9-10 months. Once you have more natural than relaxed hair it won't be such a struggle.
 
hmmmm well I didnt transition I just BC'd insted of relaxing so I'm going through allll the length stages and Im enjoying myself thoroughly. There has been no awkward stage for me and I hate fake hair so it wasnt an option for me.

I got kinky twists for abt 2 weeks, and I only kept them in for that long b/c I paid good money for them and decided to atleast wear them untill my next hairdresser appointment.

in the first 2 months I just rocked my fro till it got too big (like 0.5 inch shrunken)

month 3
then I started using a head band/bandeaus, with the back in a fro

months 4 - 5
then started flat twisting the front, with either a fro or comb coils at the back
then flat twist/corn row the front with 2 stand twists

month 6 till now (8 months)

Im doing everything, twist outs, wash and go's, corn rows, fro hawks, puffs

Its alll been fun :grin:
 
During my "INBETWEEN" phase I did the braids and sew ins...My only regret was to take care of my edges better....But My hair grew like mad. My edges are healthy now (took 6 months)...But had I done longer breaks in-between weave installs I would have been fine!
 
OP, do you mean awkward stage? IDK how I feel about it being called an ugly stage. Certainly wasn't ugly for me. :look: I just experimented with hair pieces when I was too short to be long but too long to be short. Hair is never too short or too long to do a twist out or wash and go though.
 
I know you don't like fake hair and I really don't either BUT I broke down and bought a fake bun. It's tiny and it has a braided look to it. I pull my hair back in one of those and tie a cute scarf around the base and people don't even know. I even made my fiance think really hard before he figured it out. He said "Babe, I know you said your hair hair is long enough now to pull into a tiny ponytail so it didn't even register that it wasn't real!" I don't think people pay attention to our hair as much as we do, LOL!
 
i've never made it past the ugly phase. :ohwell: the first time i encountered it, i ended up relaxing. :ohwell: now i'm natural again, and i'm still in it. :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: ♥
 
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