"OMG, I Just Love Black People!"

[kblc06]

Does anyone else attracts this type of white person or am I the only one who attracts such wierdos?

Here's some background:

Cute Male White Friend:
*Student Commons area, we're going over material for a neurobiology test while eating chicken tenders and sandwich*

CMWF (ironically while eating chicken): Hey what's your favorite food?
Me: I love Indian and Italian food, and I love my mother's greens, jambalaya
CMWF: I just love black people food (yes "black people food" as though we are a separate species)
Me: *Baby Louis side-eye* Oh that's nice.....
CMWf: Yeah me and my friends went to this soul food restaurant... "blah blah blah"
Me: I can guarantee that there is no such thing as genuine soul food in Upstate NY.

Another more recent incident:

* Talking to a fellow student, white female,*

WF: Omg, what did you do to your hair...it looks so cool!
ME: Oh I'm wearing twists (I've sectioned them off with rubberbands). But I washed them so they've sort of unraveled and curled up on their own.
WF: Black people are so cool. You guys have the coolest hair. I kinda wished my hair spiraled like that...are you mixed?
Me: *Baby Louis side-eye* WTF? No, but....uh thanks

Has this ever happened to you? There are quite few more stories I could share but these are the first instances that come to mind. In most cases I'm mildly perturbed, some are amusing, and others are borderline offensive. But mostly, I'm befuddled. Do I seem like a "safe" black person such that they feel comfortable sharing their secret fixations about black people and black culture. Do they think they're making me feel more comfortable with them? It just seems so bizzare

 

[Golden75]

Ehh. I would be perturbed too. It's like just say "you like the food at this restaurant, they had some banging @ss fried chicken, mac&cheese, & collard greens." You would know he meant "soul food" didn't have to say black food cuz we ain't the only people that eat it, clearly he did. And the girl all she had to say, "your hair looks nice". and K.I.M. The one that really pisses me off was when I was to wear braids and WP would say "oh, it looks beautiful! How can you or do you wash it?" WTF!?!

 

[AlliCat]

I've never had that happen to me...

 

[SignatureBeauty]

WF: Black people are so cool. You guys have the coolest hair. I kinda wished my hair spiraled like that...are you mixed?


I though she said black people have the coolest hair, then she asked if you are mixed because of a spirals????

Naw! that ain't ever happened to me, but I am sure it happens often. I think most have gotten "My Best Friend WAS Black!! WTF??

Okay I am dark and if I wear my hair a certain way, people ask if I have something else in me, Yeah, Cognac, I guess I am too dark for waves in my head. LOL!!!

 

[Danniquin]

I get this kinda, it just doesn't bother me at all. I get the same kinda "black people hair is cool", "what do black people eat", and "are you mixed"?

I don't care because I live in PA and my school is mostly white people so most of them are just genuinely curious. I really never got the feeling of them being rude or anything just curiosity.

The food thing does sound a little shady but it was because I was trying to describe Italian cheeseburgers and ox tails, something they have never heard of.

Getting asked if I am mixed is valid because I am light, but now that I think of it mostly black girls ask that.

I will admit that I probably am viewed as a safe one though, I'm not sensitive to stuff like that.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

I get comments like that pretty often.

I remember when I was in BCT (bootcamp) we were in the restrooms showering. I was waiting on my turn in the shower. So, I'm hanging around the sink area, conditioner in hand ready for my co-washing session.

White Female: Battle, can I ask you a question
ME: Yeah, what's up
WF: Umm I hope I dont offend you by this, but WHAT ARE YOU?
ME: Huh? What do you mean by that?
WF: Well, you know it's just that you dont have hair like most black people I've seen. And you're features aren't quite like theirs either.
ME: Oh, I gotcha. No, I'm not offended. I consider myself black. My hair is different because of my genes, that's all.

 

[BostonMaria]

Yeah I get that sometimes. I just pretend I didn't hear it LOL

NASDAQ DIVA when people ask me "what are you" my reply is "human"

 

[CurliDiva]

I had an older, white male co-worker tell me that...... he does not consider me BLACK!....like this was some kind of compliment.

I sat him down and we talked (he explained that he meant that I was not any of the black sterotypes he grew up hearing about and so therefore I'm not "black") but I explained that I'm very PROUD to be BLACK!

I told him gently that he needed to expand his view of what BLACK is.

The sad thing is that there some black folks who feel the same way because I'm not street, ghetto, or whatever you want to call it enough for their taste!

 

[lilwomen20010]

more stories please.....

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Girl, it's not just you. White people are extremely interested in everything I say or do...until they find out just how boring I am. White women tell me all the time how nice and poofy my hair is. White women tell me that when they go to the tanning salon, they want my skin tone. If your IQ is anywhere over 90, White people think you're a genius. If you wear a sundress, White people ask you where you're goin' all dressed up. If you wear your hair flatironed one day and kinky/curly a day or two later, they ask if you cut your hair - then when you straighten it again a month later, they say "My, how your hair's grown!" White girls used to tell me in high school that they were afraid of certain Black girls. When I ask them why, they'd say, "she looks mean". White guy friends have told me about some random Black girl being mean to them, and how they were somewhat afraid.

If they think you're safe, i.e. "not mean", they will ask you everything they ever wanted to know about Black people. If you tell them you don't know about something they think you should know, they will quickly tell you that you're "not really that Black". My sister takes pride in the fact that White folks don't play with her like that, but they can just tell she's mean (she really is), lol.

White people who are racist would never be genuinely curious about us, so I never take it that way. Oh, and it's not just White folks - Asians are just the same, it just takes them a bit longer to start asking stupid/annoying questions.

 

[Storyteller]

OK first off I have to comment on your location because I didn't think anyone on here was even near upstate let alone rochester.

As for the weird white people behavior I have had that happen several times. My roommate from fresh/soph. year was amazed when I wore my fro for the first time. lol

Then freshman year I got micros a couple wks into the first semester and one of our neighbors thought my it was my hair and even said "How can your hair grow back so quickly?? I love black hair" I just laughed and went back to studying. But she was a little off anyway


ETA: I almost forgot about my wally world experiences! lol

I went to wally with my friend and had a fro working. Then I noticed a older white man following me up and down aisles. So I finally stopped to see if I recognized him from school or something. He walked up to me and said " I love your hair! Its so big and puffy!" And he made this big gesture with his hands all the while with a big smile on his face. That one made me feel good because I'm anorexic about my afros and puffs.

 

[Danniquin]

Another thing I don't think "black people food" is offensive, because we say Chinese food, Italian food...etc. It's the same.

 

[Shananyganz]

I get it some of the same, but it could be summed up to where I reside and the lack of contact with blacks (shrugs shoulders). I try not to go too deep into; usually just take it as an opportunity to educate/emphasize that certain things, no matter how genuinely inquisitive you may be, can come off as ignorant. I think I’m pretty perspective and can gage when someone is being outright offensive regardless of intent and I handle those matters accordingly. It can be a little irritating, to say the least. I wouldn’t go as far to think I “attract” those kinds of individuals, but after some time, one does begin to wonder.

~S~

 

[kmn1980]

I know what you mean.

The funniest is when white people try to sneak and touch my hair. They'll come up behind me and act like they are trying on pick lint or something off my shirt or act like they are greeting me with a pat on the back and touch my hair in the process. They ain't slick.

Then you have the dumb ones that assume my kids are mixed because they are lighter-skinned than I am.

Next you have the ones who think they are Black By Association because they are up-to-date on what they think entails Blackness or their "grandbaby" is part Black or they used to date a Black guy or they used to smoke weed with their Black college roomate. Those are the ones that keep getting owned because they think they can say/do anything.

White people don't "love" Black people though. My most recent confirmation of this was our neighbor who is married to and just had a baby by a BM arguing with him in their driveway and calling him the N-Word (the real one...not the replica that ends in an "a").

White people are, however, intrigued by us because we are beautiful, creative, sharp, unique, etc...The truth is that on a worldwide scale, they are the true minorities. Like the master comedian Paul Mooney said, "Everybody wants to be a n**** but nobody wants to be a n****."

 

[sithembile]

I use such encounters as opportunities to dispel myths and stereotypes. In my experience, Those who ask such questions are typically ignorant as opposed to racist.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Yeah I get that sometimes. I just pretend I didn't hear it LOL

NASDAQ DIVA when people ask me "what are you" my reply is "human"

Girl, I've been getting the "what are you" my entire life...

I'm not one of those Negroes who likes to go down the entire heritage just to make myself appear to be exotic.

I do that to avoid that, "oh so THAT'S WHY you're natural..you're mixed" I dont need that in my life

 

[CofCGrad1997]

I think those kinds of conversations can be interesting in the right context. I enjoyed those late night cultural talks we had in college with roommates and/or suitemates. It's like they would ask us stupid questions --

"Why do you only wash your hair once a week? Doesn't it get dirty?"

and we asked them equally stupid questions --

"Why don't white people ever talk about cousins? Why don't y'all family reunions?"

I think it can be an interesting, non threatening way to learn about different cultures. I think usually people are asking because they are genuinely curious, and you rarely get opportunities to learn about people in that way. I would NOT wanna be stopped by a random person on the quad and asked about my ethnicity, or even to have that discussion with a classmate.

Like someone said...the ones who are racist -- they're not asking questions!

 

[ChristmasCarol]

OK first off I have to comment on your location because I didn't think anyone on here was even near upstate let alone rochester.

Hey, DH and I lived in Rochester for 3 years during the early '90s! We used to call it "them armpit of the North" Only good thing about Rochester was it's proximity to Toronto. We never met anyone (Black) who was native to the city the whole time we were there - weird.

 

[CrissieD]

Another thing I don't think "black people food" is offensive, because we say Chinese food, Italian food...etc. It's the same.

Yea but those are actual countries w/ specific types of food. I am black and I don't eat "soul food" because my family is not from the states. So basically he is an idiot. He could have said soul food, or southern food, or whatever because "black people food" in my house is bacalao.

 

[HauteHippie]

Umm...do you go to my school? I kid, but this always happens to me! I heard a table near me having a conversation like the first one around finals time.

I don't really mind "cool" comments concerning hair. It's a lot better than what my grandma says!

 

[cocoaluv]

Umm...do you go to my school? I kid, but this always happens to me! I heard a table near me having a conversation like the first one around finals time.

I don't really mind "cool" comments concerning hair. It's a lot better than what my grandma says![/QUOTE]


AMEN. If my g-mom's were still alive and saw my puff...... They would damn near force me to relax again or at least not visit them without a blow out

 

[chasturner84]

I definitely get that a lot. My favorite line is one that happened recently by a WF in my office. Background: I was looking at pics of braids and other PS when she walked up but was wearing my hair down (it had been wrapped): "Woooow!!! I love black people's hair. You guys can wear such cool styles. [touches my hair] Wait, why does your hair feel like mine?" I didn't know what to say besides, "the real question is why does yours feel like mine" *Kanye Shrug*

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I don't see anything really offensive about it. Hey I want to know what Indian and Nepalese, etc people do, I ask questions, I am curious. I think some folks are quick to think something negative.

I usually associated black people food with soul food.

 

[metro_qt]

This clear lady came up to me yesterday at work, and started speaking about how she LOVES black people... it's an 'Energy thing'... and Black People were the ones who taught her how to get through things and tough times

She had recently locked her 4 month old in her car, and went into the store to get something. CPS, of course was called... and now she's going to court to fight for her child.

She was talking to me like i had all the answers.
Lady? not only do i NOT have any children, but i can't relate to you at all, locking your child in your car like that.... just because i'm black.Sorry!

 

[MarieB]

I know what you mean.

Next you have the ones who think they are Black By Association because they are up-to-date on what they think entails Blackness or their "grandbaby" is part Black or they used to date a Black guy or they used to smoke weed with their Black college roomate. Those are the ones that keep getting owned because they think they can say/do anything.

I had to, let's say, educate a co-worker about the use of the n-word: he thought he had rights to it because his girlfriend's son was mixed.

 

[HauteHippie]

Story of my life! I do find it mildly amusing. I've also been told that I'm not "cool Black", I'm like "Cosby Black". He's lucky we were planning a wedding!

Also, my sister takes pride in not being "played with". Off topic, but we both have natural hair. If a white person (especially a blonde female) is not afraid of my older sister, she gets all, "What? They don't know? Where is their fear? Be scared!"

Girl, it's not just you. White people are extremely interested in everything I say or do...until they find out just how boring I am.

If they think you're safe, i.e. "not mean", they will ask you everything they ever wanted to know about Black people. If you tell them you don't know about something they think you should know, they will quickly tell you that you're "not really that Black". My sister takes pride in the fact that White folks don't play with her like that, but they can just tell she's mean (she really is), lol.

 

[metro_qt]

I don't know how un PC this next comment is going to be...
but why is it that clear girls think they can bond with me out of nowhere.... pulling out pictures of their mixed children, which means they have black spouses....

We'll just be chatting about the weather... or work... and
"HEY!!! wanna see my daughter she's soooo cute... so um.... Do you like to eat currygoat too? cuz my boyfriend sure does...he's a dred you know...."

 

[darlingdiva]

Yeah I get that sometimes. I just pretend I didn't hear it LOL

NASDAQ DIVA when people ask me "what are you" my reply is "human"

EXACTLY!!! I can't stand the "what are you" question.

I had an older, white male co-worker tell me that...... he does not consider me BLACK!....like this was some kind of compliment.

I sat him down and we talked (he explained that he meant that I was not any of the black sterotypes he grew up hearing about and so therefore I'm not "black") but I explained that I'm very PROUD to be BLACK!

I told him gently that he needed to expand his view of what BLACK is.

The sad thing is that there some black folks who feel the same way because I'm not street, ghetto, or whatever you want to call it enough for their taste!

A few months ago, I was outside talking with someone who lives in my neighborhood. A man walked by and told me that I need to start speaking more "black."

 

[Forever in Bloom]

Another thing I don't think "black people food" is offensive, because we say Chinese food, Italian food...etc. It's the same.

Where do you live? Heck, WP love "black people food" more than we do here in Memphis. I guess I've always called it Southern food or straight up soul food. 'Black people food' never really had a chance cause WP always seemed to have a monopoly over it They'd knock us down for a piece of cornbread.

 

[supermodelsonya]

I get this kinda, it just doesn't bother me at all. I get the same kinda "black people hair is cool", "what do black people eat", and "are you mixed"?

I don't care because I live in PA and my school is mostly white people so most of them are just genuinely curious. I really never got the feeling of them being rude or anything just curiosity.

The food thing does sound a little shady but it was because I was trying to describe Italian cheeseburgers and ox tails, something they have never heard of.

Getting asked if I am mixed is valid because I am light, but now that I think of it mostly black girls ask that.

I will admit that I probably am viewed as a safe one though, I'm not sensitive to stuff like that.

THIS....I don't think he meant any harm. Sometimes they are just generally curious and have questions.