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"I like your hair all wild and unrulely"

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BlkOnyx488

BlkOnyx488

Well-Known Member
I walked in to the UPS store and the older lady I don't know what nationality she was but she was clear
anyway
she says, "I like your hair all wild and unrulely"

I just said, "yep It's the way God made it, so it's just the way I LIKE IT!"

WTF
My girlfriend said I should have said I like your face all wrinkled and unbotoxed!:lachen::lachen::lachen:

I was just wearing it in a braidout and headband:rolleyes:
 
I think your response was approriate. Your friend's response IMO would have been rude and unnecessary. Plus, we all know old people don't have a filter in their brains so they just say whatever pops up. In her head, she was giving you a compliment.
 
I never would have said that:nono: She is somebody's grandmother.
We were just joking on the phone things I could have said, but nothing I SHOULD say:look:

LaFemmeNaturelle said:
I think your response was approriate. Your friend's response IMO would have been rude and unnecessary. Plus, we all know old people don't have a filter in their brains so they just say whatever pops up. In her head, she was giving you a compliment.
Click to expand...
 
Oh ok I understand.....I get really defensive when somebody messes with old people. I LOVE THEM!...yes i know i'm weird. Dah well! lol
 
Yeah, being rude would have been uncalled for. Besides, she said she LIKED it. I've had plenty of people tell me that they like my hair when it's "wild" - and they were only trying to pay a compliment. I act based on intent, not on delivery. It's like when someone says "bless you" when I sneeze. I don't believe in superstition, but I still say "thanks" because the person was only trying to be polite and kind. No reason to create drama where there is none.
 
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Its a good thing you responded as you did. Had you responded how your friend said you should've, you would've left the poor lady (and me) thinking that you can't handle compliments, that you aren't used to getting them.
 
I don't see anything wrong or WTF-worthy about what she said. I hear the same thing from the very mouths of happy naturals. Is our hair like the "N" word now? Lol..
 
I would've considered it a compliment. Now if she started off the statement with a "why" instead of "like", then I would be offended :yep:
 
We, black folks, tend to get offended WAY too easily. People shouldn't have to say what WE want them to say WORD FOR WORD. It's what they MEAN that counts.

She was saying that your hair is beautiful. Take the compliment. :yep:
 
I don't see the problem. I would have took it as a compliment, I will be glad when mine gets wild and outta control.
 
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I guess the offensive part was the underlying assumption that natural black hair is wild and unruly. :look: If we ask older black ladies they will tell you about some serious angry reactions to black hair in its natural state. Heck, I'm 30yo and I remember seeing ads for Raveen Relaxer saying basically that you cannot get a professional job without a relaxer... with the underlying assumption being that your natural hair is too wild and out of control for a position of responsibility. :ohwell:

So when the old lady said she liked it that way, she was in a way affirming that old belief of our hair being disobedient or disorderly.

ITA though that she meant well and there was no cause to get grumpy with her.

(BTW some men love natural hair for the same reason... it looks wild and untamed... which makes them think of a woman being wild in other places :eyebrows2 )
 
OP, I'm so glad to see you chose to respect an elder...that's rare. You also expressed the level of confidence in your natural hair A LOT of Black folks don't have. Double-whammy...

ITA w/ others that woman meant well....
 
I feel the same way when people say my hair is wild or unruly.. i wonder if they preceive me to be disobedient or a rebel... when I am not... I understand it as a complement but kinda a neg on me... Like looking at someone's nails and saying "Your nails are nice are those real" Giving compliments with prejudice and and weird unrelated notions are not nice, but i guess we should say thank you and take the type of compliment we deserve. sad
 
You mean, "volumous" like this??
:lachen:
whitefro1.jpg
 
LadyPaniolo said:
I guess the offensive part was the underlying assumption that natural black hair is wild and unruly. :look: If we ask older black ladies they will tell you about some serious angry reactions to black hair in its natural state. Heck, I'm 30yo and I remember seeing ads for Raveen Relaxer saying basically that you cannot get a professional job without a relaxer... with the underlying assumption being that your natural hair is too wild and out of control for a position of responsibility. :ohwell:

So when the old lady said she liked it that way, she was in a way affirming that old belief of our hair being disobedient or disorderly.

ITA though that she meant well and there was no cause to get grumpy with her.

(BTW some men love natural hair for the same reason... it looks wild and untamed... which makes them think of a woman being wild in other places :eyebrows2 )
Click to expand...


I hear that quote a lot. I've heard it thrown about with my friend who has blazing curly red hair or a jewish friend of mine whose hair is wild. I've read that description a lot from old poetry to describe a woman and her mass of curly hair. I have never heard it said in a bad way. It is totally a compliment and not exclusive to black hair. It is supposed to note how free and devil may care your hair is which may reflect on your personality and attitude as being vibrant or free.
 
LadyPaniolo said:
I guess the offensive part was the underlying assumption that natural black hair is wild and unruly. :look: If we ask older black ladies they will tell you about some serious angry reactions to black hair in its natural state. Heck, I'm 30yo and I remember seeing ads for Raveen Relaxer saying basically that you cannot get a professional job without a relaxer... with the underlying assumption being that your natural hair is too wild and out of control for a position of responsibility. :ohwell:

So when the old lady said she liked it that way, she was in a way affirming that old belief of our hair being disobedient or disorderly.
Click to expand...

Well said. :yep: :yep:
 
I guess with all the time i spend on braid outs and twists and deep conditioning... I'd rather not be called wild, untamed--- I associate with un kept and uncared for...
 
she said it in a positive way so its all good. now if someone had said "why do you wear your hair all wild and unruley like that; i do not like it- straighten it", then it would've been on. ♥
 
She didn't have better words on the tip of her tongue when she spoke while trying to give you a compliment. I guess she was wishing for your hair texture.:grin: For her hair to be :look:ing so good!
 
Beautiful natural hair can be wild like wildflowers, not in the sense of wild animals or "running wild."

If somebody called my hair "tame" I wouldn't be happy.
 
I prefer to not have any part of me referred to as "wild", which can also read as "uncivilized".

That said, it's clear it was a compliment, and as above posters have noted, intent is what is most important in these situations.

You had a wonderful response that spoke very well of you (*cough* and our demographic *cough*).
 
LittleGoldenLamb said:
I prefer to not have any part of me referred to as "wild", which can also read as "uncivilized".

That said, it's clear it was a compliment, and as above posters have noted, intent is what is most important in these situations.

You had a wonderful response that spoke very well of you (*cough* and our demographic *cough*).
Click to expand...

" Oh My girl, I just love your hair... it is so trained, so civilized...." :nono:
 
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