Do I Smell Hateration?

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Hi, Ladies.

Today I went to the salon for a blowdry and curl. I normally only go in for a relaxer and maybe a trim, which is now 3x a year. When I made my appointment, my stylist asked if I wanted a trim. I said no, which was fine. Skip to today, while I was waiting in the guest area, she came in, looked at my hair (which is in week 12 of a 15 week stretch), probably assumed my hair would be difficult, and gave a smile through by the look of things she really assumed my hair would be difficult.

When I got in the chair, I informed her that I was on another stretch. She said that she knew (I guess she realizes this by now) and proceeded to wash my hair. She gave me a quick conditioning treatment (because I don't see her enough and my hair needs it ). She blew out most of my hair and then put me under the dryer for some time (which is good).

I went to her chair and got ready for my styling. She asked me what I did to my hair when I wasn't with her. I proceeded to give her my regimen. Once again, she must've have assumed that I wasn't tending to my hair and created a rat's nest. Once I told her, the "concerns" ended. My hair looked awesome without an immediate relaxer. I must have shocked her.

Yes, ladies, you can put your hair into your own hands. Going to the salon is fine; but, you do not need them to survive alone. You should've seen the envious looks on the ladies as I was leaving

Btw, why is it that a lot of stylists are always weaved up, with the exception of those protective styling?

Peace.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I guess they assume you dont' care for you hair b/c unfortunately the majority of their clients don't. There are actually plenty of grown behind women who won't even wash their own hair.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I guess they assume you dont' care for you hair b/c unfortunately the majority of their clients don't. There are actually plenty of grown behind women who won't even wash their own hair.

Yeah, I can see that, which is sad. I actually had to tell her that I maintain my hair at home and see her for the major things I'm too shell-shocked to do, which I guess was a sin.

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

I didn't get any hateration out of that story. . .

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I didn't get any hateration out of that story. . .

I wish I could've captured her face to illustrate it. But, the hateration came from thinking that I needed a salon/stylist to only do my hair or that I needed to follow known myths about her hair to have a healthy head of it.

 

[lovegymnasts]

I guess they assume you dont' care for you hair b/c unfortunately the majority of their clients don't. There are actually plenty of grown behind women who won't even wash their own hair.

I agree. She probably assumed you do not take care of your hair.

hair washing: I never knew this until about 1.5 years ago. I grew up washing my hair once a week. My friend/former co-worker (over 60) told me she does not wash her own hair...ever and never has. She sees her hairdresser every few months to get a trim and something done to her hair. I think she called it neutralizing but her hair looks texturized to me. This is when her hair is washed by the hairdresser. She could see I was shocked when she told me.

 

[brownelovely]

Lots of women prefer to let their stylists do their hair 85-100% of the time so they don't realize that they could do it themselves. Now that's fine and all as long as you have a stylist that's into providing healthy hair care as opposed to just getting you in and out without a concern in the world. I can honestly guess that only 30% of stylists do healthy hair care practices.

Yes, I'm only guessing but going by horror stories and lack of further education stylists are now doing hair for the sake of getting a paycheck as opposed to taking it as a serious career by furthering their education and improving their skills. Sorry for jacking!

Yeah, they were probably jealous!

 

[drappedup]

I guess they assume you dont' care for you hair b/c unfortunately the majority of their clients don't. There are actually plenty of grown behind women who won't even wash their own hair.

I think this is so true. Many people who use hair dressers regularly really DO NOT know how to take care of their hair..... even seemingly "basic" things to other people such as washing, maintaining moisture, etc., etc. I know because I definitely was one of them for most of my life! I was always under the impression I could not handle my hair on my own (because it's soooooo thick ). I know everytime I used to see my stylist she would make all of these negative remarks about my hair, which made me feel even worse about it, even more compelled to continue having my hair care placed in the hands of "professionals". It's like a mind game. I don't think some stylists want their clients to know how to properly care for their hair because then they are less dependent on hair appointments/treatments/etc.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Back in the day when I was relaxed I used to buy into that "I can't do my own hair I should leave it to the professionals" lie. There are so many sista's out there like this today.....its a shame.

 

[*CherryPie*]

that's not hateration. erplexed

I wish I could've captured her face to illustrate it. But, the hateration came from thinking that I needed a salon/stylist to only do my hair or that I needed to follow known myths about her hair to have a healthy head of it.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

that's not hateration. erplexed

What is it then? I don't know. It was a weird vibe.

 

[*CherryPie*]

she was just not sure if you were properly taking care of your hair, then she saw that you were. She wasn't jealous or hating. She was probably glad that your hair was fine.

What is it then? I don't know. It was a weird vibe.

 

[LushLox]

I think that's more the stylist suffering from a superiority complex as so many of them do. A case of, 'I know better than you so you should listen.'

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

she was just not sure if you were properly taking care of your hair, then she saw that you were. She wasn't jealous or hating. She was probably glad that your hair was fine.

I can see that perspective. Thanks for adding.

Cream Tee, I think I saw that as well. It was odd, which only adds to how I feel about going to salons anyway now.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

/\ Why don't you start self-relaxing that way you'd be completely self-sufficient not mention save money.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

/\ Why don't you start self-relaxing that way you'd be completely self-sufficient not mention save money.

I would love to. Maybe I'll catch some youtube tutorials or research some on here and other sites.

Thanks.

 

[isawstars]

I can relate!!

I see my stylist 3x a year for touch ups too! and everytime I come in there 12-15 weeks post... with a birds nest that is difficult to comb out bc by this point i surrender to my new growth. I knowwww she thinks I don't do diddly squat to my hair! but every time i sit in her chair, it's longer and other stylists give me compliments

/\ Why don't you start self-relaxing that way you'd be completely self-sufficient not mention save money.

I've thought about doing that via tutorials like OP said she might do... but I keep hearing about set backs... and people not having consistent results... i don't see anything wrong with only seeing a trustworthy stylist 2-3x a year.

 

[Junebug D]

My stylist always assumes I need a heavy trim and all when I walk in the door too. But once she actually starts working with it, it's all praise. Most of the people they see DO have jacked heads, so they really are surprised when someone they haven't seen in a while walks in with healthy hair.

 

[beans4reezy]

Back in the day when I was relaxed I used to buy into that "I can't do my own hair I should leave it to the professionals" lie.

Same here. Thank goodness LHCF taught me that no one can treat my hair better than me.

 

[bellebebe]

Girl, that's why I looove my stylist. She is BSL with a BKT and she's all over blackhairmedia.com lol. She knows all about LHCF and she supports all of my hair decisions HAHA. -

 

[Jazala]

I wish I could've captured her face to illustrate it. But, the hateration came from thinking that I needed a salon/stylist to only do my hair or that I needed to follow known myths about her hair to have a healthy head of it.

Sounds like she might have wanted to learn what you are doing because your hair looks great and you obviously know more about hair care and retention than her average customer. When you left she probably scribbled down some notes of your regimen so she could try it herself lol . By the way what is your reggie?

My stylist always assumes I need a heavy trim and all when I walk in the door too. But once she actually starts working with it, it's all praise. Most of the people they see DO have jacked heads, so they really are surprised when someone they haven't seen in a while walks in with healthy hair.

Yep this may be the case above as well.

Oh yeah and since no one else mentioned it....

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Sounds like she might have wanted to learn what you are doing because your hair looks great and you obviously know more about hair care and retention than her average customer. When you left she probably scribbled down some notes of your regimen so she could try it herself lol . By the way what is your reggie?



Yep this may be the case above as well.

Oh yeah and since no one else mentioned it....

Jazala, my pics are in my siggie, lol.

Also, my reggie is as follows:

Co-wash 2x a week (3x during Summer) using Vo5 Moisture Milks in either Passionfruit Smoothie or Strawberries and Cream
Moisturize/seal once a day (more than that my hair gets oily) using avocado oil/coconut oil and either LTR Split End Protector or NTM Silky Touch Leave-In
Relax 3x a year
Trim as needed
Dc 2x a week with NTM Deep Recovery Mask and avocado oil
Air dry only (using scarf method)
No direct heat (unless it's relaxer time or very special occasions)

Shampoo 1x a week with NTM Creamy Lather Shampoo

 

[brucebettye]

Back in the day when I was relaxed I used to buy into that "I can't do my own hair I should leave it to the professionals" lie. There are so many sista's out there like this today.....its a shame.

I was just like this before I found fotki and hair boards. I would hate to wash my own hair and take care of it when I wasn't at the salon. Now since I know how to take care of my hair I have not been to a hair salon in over 3 years and I love taking care of my own hair.

 

[Geminigirl]

Maybe stylists weave it up because they don't have time to take care of their hair. Between doing clients and if they have kids especially little girls of their own they might not have time.

When I become a stylist I plan to weave my hair up sometimes so I don't have to worry about it. Now probably a lot of them weaved up still don't have hair, but I was just throwing and idea out there.

 

[Jazala]

Jazala, my pics are in my siggie, lol.

Also, my reggie is as follows:

Co-wash 2x a week (3x during Summer) using Vo5 Moisture Milks in either Passionfruit Smoothie or Strawberries and Cream
Moisturize/seal once a day (more than that my hair gets oily) using avocado oil/coconut oil and either LTR Split End Protector or NTM Silky Touch Leave-In
Relax 3x a year
Trim as needed
Dc 2x a week with NTM Deep Recovery Mask and avocado oil
Air dry only (using scarf method)
No direct heat (unless it's relaxer time or very special occasions)

Shampoo 1x a week with NTM Creamy Lather Shampoo

Thanks hon! I did see your siggy...I was just being greedy.

How do you normally wear your hair? Buns?

 

[caribeandiva]

Great thread!

 

[jasminea]

I wish I could've captured her face to illustrate it. But, the hateration came from thinking that I needed a salon/stylist to only do my hair or that I needed to follow known myths about her hair to have a healthy head of it.

I know what you mean. My stylist got offended when I told her I did not want a trim nor a relaxer more often than ever 12 weeks. She almost tried to trim my hair anyway until she saw the "I will smack you" look on my face. I think some stylist feel a little threatened when they feel their hold on your pocketbook slipping away as you learn more about your own hair. I think that is the main issue with stylist "hateration".

 

[TheGrimPhreaker]

I could see it as hateration. She was giving you the side eye for not coming to her like you are "supposed to", and was expecting to have to "trim" (read CUT), your hair and say "Girl, why havent you come to get your hair done like usual? you see what I had to do to your hair? All these split ends! (even if you can tell you dont have split ends) Now you stop being ridiculous and come back to the salon in 6 weeks weeks for a touch-up..." I'm sorry but I believe most not all, but most stylists are conditioned to believe that they are the only ones that know how to do your hair.

 

[SaucyWow]

Some people may know how to do their hair but don't have the patience to make an effort.