Can you advise someone who thinks they know it all?

[outspokenwallflower]

Last night, one of my roommates brought both of her friends over and relaxed both girls hair. One of them had healthy, uncolored hair, and the relaxer process went fine. The other however, had colored hair that was already breaking before the relaxer was applied, and when my roommate washed out the creme, the girl's hair was falling out.

Now, keep in mind, that I am almost 12 wks post because I've been trying to stretch out my relaxers and therefore, I bun my hair everyday, or rollerset it into a curly short style. Well, I guess that made my roommate take my advice with a grain of salt, because when I ran into my bathroom and tried to offer her my Joico reconstructor or Mendex or Aphogee, she looked at me with look and said: "I'm not puttin ANYTHING else in her hair! Youre only supposed to use products from ONE line!" She began to comb through her friends hair (big tooth comb) and chunks ladies, CHUNKS, of the girls hair was fallin out...I could see my roommate trying to look nonchalant about it, but even her other friend said: DAMN!! DID MY HAIR COME OUT LIKE THAT?! I mean, I guess I should've just left it alone, but I only thought I was helping by offering up some protein for the girl's hair.

Then later on, she began to blow dry her friends hair while it was soaking wet...I didnt feel like offering any advice at this point, because the way she came at me before was with an attitude. On top of that, I heard her whispering to her friend about how I have so many products, etc... I guess she thinks I must use them all in one shot or something?

Lastly, she flat ironed her friends hair on the HIGHEST SETTING. With NO heat protectant. Sad to say, her friends hair wasn't looking healthy or shiny...when she triend to curl her hair with the flat iron, it wouldnt even curl for NOTHING....I feel like that said something about the condition of the girl's hair

Have ya'll ever had an experience where someone thought they knew it all?

 

[Nerd.]

what a mess.

 

[LushLox]

What makes it worse is your roommate is abusing someone else's hair - not her own!

 

[blessedandlucky]

to answer your question: not without giving yourself a headache...

it's really unfortunate, but ultimately, we are responsible for how we allow other people to treat our hair.

 

[Sondice]

So sad, I haven't had a experience like that yet, but I'm sure my day will come. U tried the best u can, that's all u can do u know, I think once roomie sees all your progress then she'll be more keen to listen 2 u

 

[Vashti]

You know, it's painful to watch something like that but often times the best thing is to teach by example. When you hair continues to grow out healthy and strong, if either one of them are smart they will be asking you "how" rather than getting offending at your suggestions. Some of us on this board (me) were where they are right now and it takes time and a willingness to put your pride aside to realize that you need a lot of help with your hair. But they have to come to that realization on their own. Until then you may have to sit back and watch while they or she or whoever makes mistake after mistake.

 

[JJamiah]

You did great, you advised without imposing. goes to that old saying about the water and the horse. Can't make them drink. Plus as my older sis always says, I can show you better than I can tell you. She's going to be asking for your regimen in a minute.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Wow I've never had an experience like that....people come to my dormroom to come and ask me for hair care tips, advice, extension repair or they'll stop me in the hallway to ask how to go forward with haircare. I think people that know me would be too ashamed to even do something like that near me lol

I think the difference with me is my hair is almost always down, so people can see the results of my techniques, when you're protective styling in a bun, its not as easy for people to have proof your progress so maybe thats why she's still sassing you.

Thats just sad but I think you handled it well especially considering there was another youg lady there who didn't need o feel any worse abou her breaking hair. Just keep doing what you're doing and soon your progress will speak for itself.

 

[Kneechay]

I'm dying to know:

Did she do it with YOUR flat iron?

 

[outspokenwallflower]

I'm dying to know:

Did she do it with YOUR flat iron?

Lol, NO; after reading your advice she simply asked someone else in the housing area that she knew to borrow their flat iron. When she was done doing both friend's hair, I looked to see what flat iron it was and noticed it was cracked up to 450...

 

[shopgalore]

Your friends hair is not going to end well......

 

[sharifeh]

Wow, thats painful, I wouldn't have been able to watch.

 

[Superfly Sister]

Oh dear, it sounds HORRIFIC! But you know it's the girl's call (who was getting her hair did). I'd be tempted to link back here...

She blowdried WET hair!?!?!? *shudder* I'm currently letting my hair air dry before I tackle it... LOL

 

[BellaM]

I cant stand people like that

 

[Chrissy811]

Nope and I don't even try...

 

[amwcah]

Oh dear, it sounds HORRIFIC! But you know it's the girl's call (who was getting her hair did). I'd be tempted to link back here...

She blowdried WET hair!?!?!? *shudder* I'm currently letting my hair air dry before I tackle it... LOL

^^^I agree with the bolded. Maybe you should have been trying to talk to her friend instead of your roommate. But then again, you have to live with this chick until May.

 

[ceebee3]

What's wrong with blowdrying wet hair?

I hardly ever blowdry but I did yesterday for the first time in a year on wet hair.

What am I missing?

 

[HauteHippie]

Yep, I know people that think they know it all. I can't tell them NUTHIN' about hair, health, or kinesiology (I guess I was just given my A's back at my old school). Those are the same people who usually think we're arguing or disagreeing when we're not. Defensive people, in general (and I'm related to all the ones I'm talking about).
When/if they go off, I just stare at them blankly and walk away. If they don't see the difference between me and them at that moment, they'll see if later in a picture.

 

[HauteHippie]

What's wrong with blowdrying wet hair?

I hardly ever blowdry but I did yesterday for the first time in a year on wet hair.

What am I missing?

It can increase the amount of breakage you have b/c of the wet (and vulnerable) hair and you'd be quickly zapping out moisture. Not all blowdryers are created equal. I'd trust a FHI Heat Nano Pro b/c it has a ceramic heater and not a metal coil one.
It may be best to airdry at least halfway. You can braid, twist, bantu knot, pony tail, or clip hair up while it's airdrying to prevent tangling.

 

[Superfly Sister]

What's wrong with blowdrying wet hair?

I hardly ever blowdry but I did yesterday for the first time in a year on wet hair.

What am I missing?

It can increase the amount of breakage you have b/c of the wet (and vulnerable) hair and you'd be quickly zapping out moisture. Not all blowdryers are created equal. I'd trust a FHI Heat Nano Pro b/c it has a ceramic heater and not a metal coil one.
It may be best to airdry at least halfway. You can braid, twist, bantu knot, pony tail, or clip hair up while it's airdrying to prevent tangling.

Plus it's quicker to get through your hair when it's not wet. Less heat usage also which is always a good thing!

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

I am going to go against the majority here. Please don't be offended by this question. What did your hair look like when you were trying to offer the advice? Most people only take advice from someone with hair that looks like something they would desire for themselves. Sometimes hair doesn't look good with 12 weeks worth of new growth, especially if the new growth is not blended well with the already processed hair.

 

[Mleah]

You were a good Samaritan to offer your precious products. Those girls were bamboozled! I predict your roomie will be on everyone's "she don't know ish about hair list" soon enough.
I'd be finding another roommate for next semester....and hiding my hair goodies now.

 

[outspokenwallflower]

I am going to go against the majority here. Please don't be offended by this question. What did your hair look like when you were trying to offer the advice? Most people only take advice from someone with hair that looks like something they would desire for themselves. Sometimes hair doesn't look good with 12 weeks worth of new growth, especially if the new growth is not blended well with the already processed hair.

I agree, which is why I figured she was taking my gesture with a grain of salt, however, it doesnt look terribly bad-- just looks like I'm in need of a touch up. Its not wash day for me, so I didnt even get to straighten my hair. But when I do, it looks MUCH better, lol.

Another reason why I feel like she didnt want to take my advice is because earlier in the week when she went to the salon to get her hair done, the stylist was saying that you should only use products from one line (which is probably why she didnt wanna add anything to the girl's hair), and that you should relax every 5-6 weeks because your hair can break from the new growth, etc. Meanwhile, the stylist said this as she was blow drying my roommates wet, highlighted hair and flat-ironing it with about 2-3 passes for each section afterward. ALSO, lol, when my roommate caught me pre-pooing one time, she looked at like I was crazy and saying that doing that is too much for my hair, etc. I explained to her the benefits it has for MY hair and she still looked at me like I was crazy

Thing I found funny is that when she was getting her hair done the other day, the stylist used different products from different brands on her hair... I didn't feel like bringing it up because the girl obviously doesn't wanna hear it, and I figured I shouldn't waste my breath.

 

[CarolinaGal]

You are such a sweetie trying to help the other young lady out like that! Don't torture yourself because you did all that you can do by offering.

"When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear" -- Ancient Proverb

 

[outspokenwallflower]

You are such a sweetie trying to help the other young lady out like that! Don't torture yourself because you did all that you can do by offering.

"When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear" -- Ancient Proverb

I like that!

 

[Leesh]

OWF, To answer Your question, No You cannot, to avoid any altercations or unnecessary friction, just leave it alone! Altho, sometimes its painful to sit back and watch something like that, sometimes You have to bite Your tongue.

 

[Miss AJ]

That is awful, but if the girl didn't care enough about her own hair to speak up when you clearly saw something wrong and tried to help, then you shouldn't care about her hair either. As for the one who was scalping the poor girl, what does HER hair look like, cuz I have a rule: I will NOT let anyone with unhealthy, jacked up hair lay a finger on mine. They obviously don't know what they are doing and envy makes people do some hateful things.