Excuses people make to justify their short and/or damaged hair

[Chaosbutterfly]

Wow. I guess it is all about priorities for certain women. For me personally, I'd rather rock less expensive clothes and use my money to pay for good quality hair and beauty products. I'm sorry... If I'm wearing Jimmy Choos and have a Gucci purse on my arm but my hair looks to' up from the flo' up I am NOT a happy camper and I would feel far from fierce. Just sayin'

I agree...clothes and shoes are things you buy off the rack, or if you get them made for you. They aren't a part of you, so I don't understand why people will go crazy spending on them but can't even go buy a quality conditioner. Or a drugstore conditioner. Or any conditioner at all. Even if your clothes look nice, people are still going to know that you don't care about yourself if you neglect things that actually grow from your body, like your hair or skin.

And that lady's daughter, I feel bad for her too.
That's a prime example of this vicious cycle within the BW community, and its why I honestly think that beautiful, healthy and/or long hair will never become the norm among us. Because you have all these women who believe that their hair is ugly and doesn't deserve/need care. They won't listen to reason. Won't listen to advice, won't seek help....they just think that because their hair is kinky, it sucks and won't ever look like anything.

Then they teach that to their daughters. Who then teach it to theirs...who then teach it to theirs...it just doesn't stop.

 

[Mdmommy99]

Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.

 

[wish4length]

I love how people say I don't care about my hair because I wear protective styles 99% of the time, but my SO sees me on LHCF and on wash days and tells them they're crazy...........
Outside of this website I've chosen not to discuss hair with anyone.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.

Oh, I hear you 100%. However, there is an in between level between just doing the basics to not look a hot flaming mess, and going all out LHCF style. If you have some level of self respect, you should at least put forth the minimal effort in all the basic grooming categories.

ETA: and wish4length, I know exactly what you mean, too! I have been hardcore protective styling on my HHJ. Almost no one had even seen my hair before my Big Reveal this Christmas. I'm sure they all thought my head looked tore up, hence the wigs.

 

[teacherjess]

Oh, I hear you 100%. However, there is an in between level between just doing the basics to not look a hot flaming mess, and going all out LHCF style. If you have some level of self respect, you should at least put forth the minimal effort in all the basic grooming categories.

ETA: and wish4length, I know exactly what you mean, too! I have been hardcore protective styling on my HHJ. Almost no one had even seen my hair before my Big Reveal this Christmas. I'm sure they all thought my head looked tore up, hence the wigs.

Right, before I even knew what LHCF was I conditioned every wash and kept my hair groomed. It wasn't healthy~but no one knew that but me. Not every woman will become a "hair enthusiast" like the LHCF ladies. Some are into makeup, shoes, clothes, etc. like we are into hair. But...nonetheless, don't step out looking a HAM with your hair. It just looks trifling. Like stepping out with ashy skin thinking it looks cute. Just don't do it.

 

[Jewell]

Hair care has always been a priority of mine, and over the years, I have just added to my previous knowledge and techniques to keep my hair in the best shape with minimal cost (I don't like waste). I'm a real DIY'er. Actually, I don't know many that use excuses as to why their hair is a HAM, but I have had some at an old job (when it came to CW and my washing frequently) say that if they washed their hair "that much" it would "fall out." Mind you, their hair looked like the pic posted below, except it was fly-away, see-thru thin, and dry, but at least somewhat even neck length. This is the description of my mother's hair, sadly (I try to help, but she doesn't wanna think I know a little more than she does about anything---yeah, that personality type). :-/

I am trying to educate my sisters and mother on other aspects of hair care, but they don't pay me much attention. So as a caveat, I will be rocking long, silky, past WL hair next year in front of them. When they ask me what I do, I'm going to happily be mum on the subject. It's like, "Nah, don't be asking me no questions now!"

I was thinking to myself (about the old coworker), "Well maybe if you stop using them box no-lye relaxers (which give the hair inherent dryness due to the calcium content), and deep conditioned on a regular basis, you wouldn't be looking like that." The answer to her hair issues in her eyes was to get a ghetto, crimped, multi-color, sew-in weave the following month. :-/

I don't discuss hair with some people b/c all that will end up happening is a debate on which works for what "type" of hair. Like some ppl say to me, "Well, I can't do that cuz I ain't got that "good hair" like you." Mind now, that they are saying that without evening having seen my real hair texture, or while my hair is under a wig or head wrap! It's almost like they assume I have "good hair" b/c I happen to have a light complexion.

When I was a child, stylists used to comment on my sister's "good hair" and look at mine like it was a HAM (it wasn't, it was just a tighter coil--my mom and grandma always kept our hair done either pressed or done in cute little-girl ponytails w/barrettes). Well, for a while I was envious of the type she had, but that was only until I discovered my own natural texture and was enlightened to the techniques that allow me to embrace my own curls/kinks with manageability in hand, and rock 'em with pride.

In my honest-to-God opinion, I believe all hair is good, so long as it is well-groomed, healthy, and well cared for. I hate the division the "hair typing" or "good hair vs. bad hair" thing does to our community of beautiful sistahs. I also believe that if at all possible, no woman should go out without her hair done, it just makes for an unkempt appearance, no matter how "fly" the shoes or outfit might be. If the hair isn't done (minimally groomed at least), it makes me think that you might be slippin' on some other areas of hygiene and self-care.

Sorry so long, but I had to get this off my chest!

 

[blacksapphire]

^^^ ITA. you make some really good points

 

[ryanshope]

Wow...really? Pure lye would eat a hole in her scalp :-/

smh...some people...

There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.

According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year.

She said she didn't find out what the neighbor was doing until the year was over and that's why she had short hair.

 

[LoveLiLi]

Wow...really? Pure lye would eat a hole in her scalp :-/

smh...some people...

Exactly. She would be all :burning::burning::burning: after the first application.

I don't know why she thought that was a feasible story. I considered calling her out, but decided she was too entertaining and let her keep on.

 

[Almaz]

pure lye HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh that just kills me.

Hi Lovely

Exactly. She would be all :burning::burning::burning: after the first application.

I don't know why she thought that was a feasible story. I considered calling her out, but decided she was too entertaining and let her keep on.

 

[LoveLiLi]

pure lye HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh that just kills me.

Hi Lovely

Hi, Almaz.

Lmao. Yeah, she's going to tell that story to the wrong person one day and get called out.

 

[Jewell]

Originally Posted by LoveLiLi
There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.

According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year.

She said she didn't find out what the neighbor was doing until the year was over and that's why she had short hair.
-------------------------------------------

??IDK, but maybe she meant the lye that is used in soaps, not the sodium hydroxide (also called lye) that's in relaxers. Of course, if the neighbor was putting sodium hydroxide on her scalp, it would burn a whole through it like acid, for real. I'm sure there are chemical similarities between the two, but the lye used to base bar soaps (think lard-like)...I could see it being similar in consistency to grease. Just my op. So maybe she was really telling the truth!! I was looking at hand-made soap today with lye in it.

 

[Oasis]

My cousin claims her hair ain't been right and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some 18 years ago. The fact she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.

My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.

 

[Esi]

Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.

Well said...I sho 'nuff have not gone to the gym consistently in 4 months but I definitely moisturize and seal my hair everyday and dc at least once a week because I love to do it. I don't always feel that way about working out Fitness becomes a priority when I have a wedding or vacation coming up.

Another story to add to your devil's advocacy involves my sister. She has beautiful bsl natural hair and washes it and re-twists or buns when she needs to so she is presentable for work. She couldn't care less about all the "extra" stuff I do like dc'ing and trying different styling methods.

ETA: ...but I agree that true HAM are unacceptable.

 

[me-T]

i don't understand the stories about "my hair won't grow 'cause ____ happened several years ago". how does that even make sense?

 

[natura87]

My cousin claims her hair ain't been right and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some 18 years ago. The fact she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.

My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.

OMG!! Decades!! Decades!!

 

[Jade Feria]

My cousin claims her hair ain't been right and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some 18 years ago. The fact she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.

My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

A relaxer every 2 weeks, OMG! Tell me she isn't combing it through root to tip, though???

She just can't have ANY nappiness to her hair, huh? And I'm willing to wager that she would look at a natural woman with coily curly locks and be like thinking all that natural hair = a HAM.... No matter how healthy or long it is, if it isn't bone straight, it's a no-go. SMDH. I have known people like that. Unless, of course, the hair is type 3.

 

[SheaButterBaby]

All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?


That was the story that I told too though.
When my hair first started to break at the crown, I'd tell people that I had gotten layers.
When it broke more, I told people that I was experimenting with different lengths.
And when it was all gone, like to the top of my ears, I'd tell people that I'd cut it that way. And I maintained my lie too...people would ask me how come my hair didn't grow, and I'd just be like oh..I get it cut every few months. (False)

It's easier to make up stuff than to swallow your pride and admit that you don't know wtf you're doing. And that you are scared and need help.

 

[Dragone]

I know not to tell my hair stories anymore then, hahaha. I really did have BSB hair but I hotcombed it until it all broke off and it was many, many, many years before I figured out how to get it to grow again. I guess the people I told my tale of woe and devastation to where like GFTHOWTBS

 

[Oasis]

A relaxer every 2 weeks, OMG! Tell me she isn't combing it through root to tip, though???

She just can't have ANY nappiness to her hair, huh? And I'm willing to wager that she would look at a natural woman with coily curly locks and be like thinking all that natural hair = a HAM.... No matter how healthy or long it is, if it isn't bone straight, it's a no-go. SMDH. I have known people like that. Unless, of course, the hair is type 3.

Yes, it's root to tip. I'm 4b and she loves my hair but hates her's and her childrens. She thinks only certain folks can go natural and claims she's one of them. She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it. I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks. *shrugs* Can't help those who don't want to be helped.

 

[Bulletproof]

Yes, it's root to tip. I'm 4b and she loves my hair but hates her's and her childrens. She thinks only certain folks can go natural and claims she's one of them. She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it. I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks. *shrugs* Can't help those who don't want to be helped.

 

[HollyGolightly]

She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it. I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks.

Wow.

 

[BostonMaria]

She was natural for years and then relaxed it and got the strongest relaxer she could find and left it on the little bit of hair that she had left for 40 minutes and left it on her 7 year old daughters virgin hair for 30 minutes. I asked her why she left it on so long and she said that when she used to relax her hair, she always used to leave it long until her scalp burned and would start to peel. She said that she would just switch on the fan and lean forward so the breeze would cool her head.

I just screamed! :burning: OMG her daughter was probably screaming in pain! *SMH*
OMG I can't stop scratching my head now! LMFAO

 

[LadyPaniolo]

OMG... My hair is trembling in fear at this thread....

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

Some people weren't meant to have long hair ....told to me by my FORMER hair stylist

 

[natura87]

Some people weren't meant to have long hair ....told to me by my FORMER hair stylist

That's just grimy.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

^^^yep! She sure did tell me that. That was my last visit to her and I was a weekly customer

 

[Aria-Selene]

I just screamed! :burning: OMG her daughter was probably screaming in pain! *SMH*
OMG I can't stop scratching my head now! LMFAO

You too huh! That woman is nuts! She has to be!! OMG She can't be right! naw man

 

[Kash]

"the reson your hair stays short is... because you haven't found a hair stylist with them 'growing hands'."