Youth ministry set up - Long

ajoke

Well-Known Member
Hello Ladies, I am in a bit of a dilemma and I need you advice, your experience and your prayers. My pastor asked me to join the youth ministry ( 14- 25) as a mentor about 2 years ago. It was a new concept he brought in as the youth ministry had not been functioning as it should and he wanted to bring some structure to it. There was a team of leaders who were elected, but people just did what they wanted when they wanted. He appointed 3 mentors and we attended the youth meetings where we could and tried to call them up regularly and build relationships with them. There were some internal struggles amongst the youth, one of the girls, A is a pastors daughter from another city and more dedicated to church, and she became 'pastors pet' so after a while the youth leader stopped coming to church. When the next round to elect leaders came she was elected youth leader. She has been really faithful in organising, but also a very polarising figure, she's only 22 and the pastor keeps bringing her to internal meetings of the church leadership and even let her preach in church and many people disapprove of this. Now, I really don't care and even thank God that a young girl is so faithful, but she does have a very high opinion of herself and could do with a good dose of humility. There has been a lot of growth in the youth in the last 2 year. They are in the translation, music and welcoming ministries and they organise lots of events. My issue is that it's more like an activity led thing, spiritual gifts are sparse and if you try to correct in love, you are placed on the ignore list. A is a powerful young woman and action driven. She expects a lot of the youth and only accepts guidance from the pastor. The youth are intimidated by her and there are two ladies (E& I) in the church they talk to - not the mentors. E's husband became a mentor belatedly. Instead of giving them what I would consider godly advice, she gossips with them and stokes the fires in my opinion. She has relaxed expectations of them, like sex before marriage is okay, I just want to know whom you are with etc. Her own daughter got married at 19, without either her or her DH having finished their apprenticeship and now has a daughter( grandma is not yet 40) and is the person all the youth ate looking up to. When the youth come to E and DH instead of him involving the other mentors, he calls the youth to him and his wife and some other people. Sometimes the youth have night parties, dress in ways I don't always consider the best and the only difference with a worldly party is the lack of alcohol. E & husband support these. They stopped inviting me after I made my disapproval known. E says you can't hold the children of nowadays who are growing up in Europe to the same standards as "African standards" ( she is also African) , forgetting our standards have no nationality- they are biblical standards. Anyway, there is no structure to the mentoring, they call us when and if they want and mostly go to Pastor directly. I blame him for not sending them back to the mentors. I tried to leave the mentoring earlier this year, but was prevailed on to stay on. For me, I am not making any impact as the whole structure is wrong and I don't want my name associated with something that is not going the way it should and not glorifying God. There is a lot of external growth, but the core is stunted. I also think the age range is too wide. We will having a leaders and mentors meeting at my instigation and I would like to go with concrete proposals of the way forward. That's what I need your help with. How's the youth organised with respect to leadership and what's the role of adults in your church. Please share your experience. I am praying about this and your prayers would also be appreciated. If nothing changes within the next 6 months, I have decided to leave the youth ministry. Thanks in advance for your responses and prayers.
 
Hello Ladies, I am in a bit of a dilemma and I need you advice, your experience and your prayers. My pastor asked me to join the youth ministry ( 14- 25) as a mentor about 2 years ago.

It was a new concept he brought in as the youth ministry had not been functioning as it should and he wanted to bring some structure to it. There was a team of leaders who were elected, but people just did what they wanted when they wanted. He appointed 3 mentors and we attended the youth meetings where we could and tried to call them up regularly and build relationships with them.

There were some internal struggles amongst the youth, one of the girls, A is a pastors daughter from another city and more dedicated to church, and she became 'pastors pet' so after a while the youth leader stopped coming to church.

When the next round to elect leaders came she was elected youth leader. She has been really faithful in organising, but also a very polarising figure, she's only 22 and the pastor keeps bringing her to internal meetings of the church leadership and even let her preach in church and many people disapprove of this.

Now, I really don't care and even thank God that a young girl is so faithful, but she does have a very high opinion of herself and could do with a good dose of humility.

There has been a lot of growth in the youth in the last 2 year. They are in the translation, music and welcoming ministries and they organise lots of events. My issue is that it's more like an activity led thing, spiritual gifts are sparse and if you try to correct in love, you are placed on the ignore list.

A is a powerful young woman and action driven. She expects a lot of the youth and only accepts guidance from the pastor. The youth are intimidated by her and there are two ladies (E & I) in the church they talk to - not the mentors. E's husband became a mentor belatedly. Instead of giving them what I would consider godly advice, she gossips with them and stokes the fires in my opinion.

She has relaxed expectations of them, like sex before marriage is okay, I just want to know whom you are with etc. Her own daughter got married at 19, without either her or her DH having finished their apprenticeship and now has a daughter (grandma is not yet 40) and is the person all the youth ate looking up to.

When the youth come to E and DH instead of him involving the other mentors, he calls the youth to him and his wife and some other people. Sometimes the youth have night parties, dress in ways I don't always consider the best and the only difference with a worldly party is the lack of alcohol.

E & husband support these. They stopped inviting me after I made my disapproval known. E says you can't hold the children of nowadays who are growing up in Europe to the same standards as "African standards" ( she is also African) , forgetting our standards have no nationality- they are biblical standards.

Anyway, there is no structure to the mentoring, they call us when and if they want and mostly go to Pastor directly. I blame him for not sending them back to the mentors. I tried to leave the mentoring earlier this year, but was prevailed on to stay on.

For me, I am not making any impact as the whole structure is wrong and I don't want my name associated with something that is not going the way it should and not glorifying God.

There is a lot of external growth, but the core is stunted. I also think the age range is too wide. We will having a leaders and mentors meeting at my instigation and I would like to go with concrete proposals of the way forward. That's what I need your help with.

How's the youth organised with respect to leadership and what's the role of adults in your church. Please share your experience. I am praying about this and your prayers would also be appreciated. If nothing changes within the next 6 months, I have decided to leave the youth ministry. Thanks in advance for your responses and prayers.

The answers are already within your heart... :giveheart:

"How can two walk together except... they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3)

You already know what the structure of this youth ministry should be, yet is fallen and outside of God's will. Write your Pastor a letter detailing and documenting all that you have shared. Let him know that the youth are being 'lead astray' and this is not his vision for starting the youth ministry.

Let him know that unless there is structure according to scripture that you can no longer be a part of something that does not give glory to God or your Pastor's vision to enrich and develop the youth of your / his community.

Dearest one, each of us are here on earth as Ministers to enrich God's Kingdom, not to enlighten satan's fall. As Minister's to our youth, we are to lead them NOT into temptation, but to deliver them away from the paths of evil.

God's Word: Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy Name...Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on earth as it is 'In Heaven".
 
Thanks dear sister for your response. We have a meeting planned with the pastor for Wednesday.
If not for the fact that I don't trust the judgement of this lady, I would think the best thing would be for her to join the leadership of the ministry, but as you have stated, I'm afraid she will lead people astray with advice that is not scriptural lay sound.
 
Thanks dear sister for your response. We have a meeting planned with the pastor for Wednesday.
If not for the fact that I don't trust the judgement of this lady, I would think the best thing would be for her to join the leadership of the ministry, but as you have stated, I'm afraid she will lead people astray with advice that is not scriptural lay sound.

I pray for the Lord to strengthen you as you have the pureness of Heart for the Lord's will and not to please the world which pleases the flesh.

If anyone is teaching sex before marriage is acceptable, this is a very dangerous person to be in leadership among our youth. Too much is at stake and against the protection of their precious souls. satan is out seeking whom he may devour and our youth are his main targets, especially in the Church.

As satan said to Eve, 'did not God say' and he attempted to sway Jesus as well, by deflecting God's word... however Jesus stood upon God's Word and rebuked him. Our youth need God's word empowered in their hearts to be able to do the very same. The Leadership in any youth ministry must be a true leader into righteousness and not deceptions.

God bless you and know that many are praying with and for you. Please keep your head up, for God is using you to take a stand against satan's slays (which are many) against our children.

:bighug:
 
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