Your SO and other women/ flirting...

Fine 4s

Fine 4s

Well-Known Member
This chic deleted her post....again!

:wallbash:

Thank you for all the feedback ladies!
 
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Fine 4s said:
Is this innocent flirting or is this pursuing something more?

Also, how do you feel about your SO making new female friends? Can it be done? Does your man stop making new friends once he commits to you?
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He could very well be a flirt but just one comment shouldn't reason for cheating. I swear those social sites stay ruining relationships !!!
 
ugh...twitter flirting. I went thru that with my SO when we first started our committed relationship. Just be real with him. If you find it disrespectful that he flirts openly on a site, and it needs to stop..then he NEEDS to stop doing it, if it hurts you. I had that talk with my SO, and he stopped. He said he wouldn't like it if i was doing it to him, so fair is fair
 
That interaction would not be okay with me. Imo, he was pursuing something. Why does he need to talk to some random woman he met on the phone? About what? I would be concerned about why he's is even still thinking about some chick he had a convo with before he even met you. To me meeting a nice woman, and deciding to call her up to get to know her better=developing a relationship.

The only new female friends that my SO has made since we've been together, are co-workers and co-workers wives/girlfriends. And even then he doesn't hang out with them one one one, and he most def doesn't chit chat on the phone.



ETA: Is this about you Fine 4s? I hope this isn't about the same guy from your last thread, because if so.....
 
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Is this innocent flirting or is this pursuing something more?

IMO there is no such thing as "innocent" flirting when you are in a committed relationship. I could never be with a guy that was a flirt.
 
-He initiated contact
-He asked her to call him
-He sent her a private message

That's way over the line. Innocent flirting is seeing a cute girl at the grocery store and telling her she looks nice and then going on about your business. What he's doing is setting up a side piece.

Sent from my HTC Evo
 
I agree with a previous poster. There is no such thing as "Innocent" Flirting. Flirting (to me) is an interest, that if given the chance, would escalate to the next level. :nono:
 
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With the above situation, would.not.be.okay. with that. The only reason I can think off the top of my head for an SO to meet a new female "friend" is if it's legitimately business-related. I'm sure there may be a couple more instances, but that's all I can think of right now.

The question is: why does he need a new female friend? If you're in a committed relationship, you should be able to fulfill all those needs. If for some reason you can't, then he should have old female friends that can do the rest.

Nah, I couldn't do. I don't do flirty men either. It's too much stress and it's always downplayed by them using flirtiness as an excuse until you get your feelings hurt.
:nono: Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone like that, but that's me.
 
You should definitely be concerned. And this is the guy who was somewhat insecure? In that exchange sounds more like a player. Be careful Fine 4s. Is this the first time you are seeing his flirtatious ways?
 
For me that would be over the line. If I was the one initiating contact with a guy in that way, it would be because I was looking for a "back-up" not just innocent flirting.

IMO innocent flirting doesn't involve exchanging contact information.
 
FoxxyLocs said:
-He initiated contact
-He asked her to call him
-He sent her a private message

That's way over the line. Innocent flirting is seeing a cute girl at the grocery store and telling her she looks nice and then going on about your business. What he's doing is setting up a side piece.

Sent from my HTC Evo
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All of this. He even admitted that the card was not for business, but personal.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670
 
This is what I have learned over time. The situation is usually almost always exactly how it looks/feels/seems.
This looks/feels/seems bad. He said verbatim that his contacting her was for personal reasons. This is not good.:nono:

We can rationalize things over in our heads and try to make something seem like its not really a big deal b/c we don't want to admit that the guy is less than head over heels in love and faithful.

While in the big scheme of what could be happening this may not be a reason to end the relationship ofcourse but when someone shows you themselves, believe them the first time....meaning these behaviors may not be going anywhere anytime soon. "Flirt" or not...that definitely crossed the line.

And what's up with claiming you have a certain personality type that gives you a pass to misbehave and it becomes ok?
 
I don't mind my FH innocently flirting but once he starts taking numbers and pursuing people, he has jumped waaaay across the line.
 
I had a similar issue with my now FH when we first got together. I was ready to get serious and I thought he was but there was still so much Facebook flirting that I couldnt be sure, so one day I just was like look this bothers me, idk if you have female friends but there's a difference between two friends talking and inappropriate flirting.

He apologized and it stopped. Fast forward 3 years and we are engaged.

My advice is don't be afraid to say how you feel. If he loves you then he will fix it.

Eta
And if he doesn't someone else will!
 
Fine 4s said:
Is this innocent flirting or is this pursuing something more?

Also, how do you feel about your SO making new female friends? Can it be done? Does your man stop making new friends once he commits to you?
Click to expand...

No, not innocent flirting when numbers have been exchanged and he has told her to call him.

He has a mamy female friends. It doesnt bother me. He has never been inappropriate in my presence, neither have the females. He is extremely friendly and outgoing so he makes new acquaintances frequently-he Owns his business. Some stay friends, including females. I have a lot of male friends as well, and have made 2 new ones (both married) in the past 2 months. As long as we know our boundaries, we have discussed them, it shouldn't be (and hasn't been) a problem.
 
Nothing innocent about this.....flirting is usually done right then and there not pre-meditated like this; this man has been thinking about this woman for a year....this isn't innocent.
 
Empressri....LOOK AT THAT AVATAR!!!!!!!!!

Hey ladies,

Initially, I packed my stuff and went home. I told him I had to think of a few things.
I later explained that I did not want to be with someone who was a flirt or at least with someone who has trouble identifying when he has crossed the line. He understands that if he does anything like this again, I'm gone.

Overall, I'm happy with him and I trust him. This situation gave us BOTH an opportunity to talk about boundaries and what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior on both parts. He deserves the benefit of doubt...for now :)

So...only time will tell and people can't hide who they are...for long.

Thanks again ladies! Your perspectives are always great especially when I read them to him LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
 
Well good luck. I wanted to tell you a story about how important boundaries are in a relationship and knowing your man. I was at a party this summer. All the women had gathered in the dining room and the men were in the kitchen. So anyway this loud-mouthed woman shows up late. At some point in the conversation she said that she had met my husband and that he told her he liked her watch and that he especially liked the brand. I said that could not have been my husband because he doesn't know anything about different watch brands. I also knew he would not be complimenting some random woman he just met on anything. So anyway, all the men and women eventually gather together. I asked dh about it and he didn't know what I was talking about. So I say to her, is this who you were talking about? She's like no it was this other man whose wife wasn't even there. I pressed the issue because she was adamant about it when I said I was sure it wasn't him. So I'm just saying it's important that you know who this guy is and how he behaves, shady behavior is not cool at all. You want to be able to say no my guy doesn't do/say this and that with confidence.
 
Agreed! We're only 2 months in so we're still learning each other and I'm glad he was honest with me.
 
I agree with what the other ladies have already stated....

If you trusted him this thread would not have been created..good luck!
 
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