yet another question on respect

ichephren

ichephren

New Member
I asked this question on the goddess thread but it's taking a lifetime to receive an answer. I have a guy friend who began showing his behind 2 months ago. He has acted disrespectufully on 2 occasions in that span of time. Previously he had been so courteous and respectful and even told me how he liked my attitude. The change in attitude began when he said something highly offensive to which I only mildly reacted b/c I was soo fumed :mad: Yeah, when I'm really mad, I get silent...anyway, I think this has affected our friendship and I want to set things right. Do I bring up the past episode and tell him what the consequences would be if it happens again...given that it's months after? This is a guy who I'm interested in being more than just friends with btw. Eek...ladies please help.
 
And... I understand taking the time to cool you heals, but bring up something that's bothering you immediately. Men like to claim that women go back and dig up old stuff that they never knew we had a problem with, so try and catch it and correct it while its happening.
 
You should have addressed it when it happened. Women tend to take things and stew on them, men will tell you right away. He is going to ask you why didn't you tell him when it happened and you may feel like he is disregarding your feelings. Men are like puppies, correct them when they pee on the floor not the next day because they are going to look at you cross eyed.
 
ThickHair said:
You should have addressed it when it happened. Women tend to take things and stew on them, men will tell you right away. He is going to ask you why didn't you tell him when it happened and you may feel like he is disregarding your feelings. Men are like puppies, correct them when they pee on the floor not the next day because they are going to look at you cross eyed.
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It's always good to nip things in the bud right then and there. :yep:

Since it's already happened, I would still bring it up to him, and you can just nip it in the bud next time (if / when).
 
ichephren said:
I asked this question on the goddess thread but it's taking a lifetime to receive an answer. I have a guy friend who began showing his behind 2 months ago. He has acted disrespectufully on 2 occasions in that span of time. Previously he had been so courteous and respectful and even told me how he liked my attitude. The change in attitude began when he said something highly offensive to which I only mildly reacted b/c I was soo fumed :mad: Yeah, when I'm really mad, I get silent...anyway, I think this has affected our friendship and I want to set things right. Do I bring up the past episode and tell him what the consequences would be if it happens again...given that it's months after? This is a guy who I'm interested in being more than just friends with btw. Eek...ladies please help.
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I would NEXT him. This is probably the pointy tip of a very large disrespectful iceberg attitude and it will only get worse. IMO
 
Would you ladies give him some sort of warning of "do this again and we won't be friends?" I hesitated to bring up the conversation because I almost feel as if saying that invites him to test me...and I was reading another thread on respect and many ladies said that a warning may be ineffective. What say you?
 
ichephren said:
Would you ladies give him some sort of warning of "do this again and we won't be friends?" I hesitated to bring up the conversation because I almost feel as if saying that invites him to test me...and I was reading another thread on respect and many ladies said that a warning may be ineffective. What say you?
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No, because then you are indirectly telling him that you are wishy washy and don't value your respect to the utmost.

I don't wanna say 'get rid of him' because lately i feel like that's all I have to say...I'm just so tired of the crap these guys are putting out, tired at us for not demanding more.
 
ichephren said:
I asked this question on the goddess thread but it's taking a lifetime to receive an answer. I have a guy friend who began showing his behind 2 months ago. He has acted disrespectufully on 2 occasions in that span of time. Previously he had been so courteous and respectful and even told me how he liked my attitude. The change in attitude began when he said something highly offensive to which I only mildly reacted b/c I was soo fumed :mad: Yeah, when I'm really mad, I get silent...anyway, I think this has affected our friendship and I want to set things right. Do I bring up the past episode and tell him what the consequences would be if it happens again...given that it's months after? This is a guy who I'm interested in being more than just friends with btw. Eek...ladies please help.
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Began, as in, "ongoing"? I'm not sure, but I don't do "disrespectful", especially on an recurring basis. People make mistakes, and say the wrong things, but if this seems to be part of his personality, you might do good to reconsider the "more than friends" thing. If you continue to pursue a relationship with him, please keep an eye out for this, because it very well might not change. Like was previously said, you might have to "next" him.
 
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