Would you take someone back after they wanted to 'take a break'?
- Thread starter Fine 4s
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ladylibra_30
Well-Known Member
What you describe seems like dating...
I would make sure I don't put all my eggs in one basket & date others too.
If we were in a exclusive realtionship and he said he needed a break, I would have an issue w/that. I'm a all-or-nothing girl...either we work on issues together or we go our separate ways.
I would make sure I don't put all my eggs in one basket & date others too.
If we were in a exclusive realtionship and he said he needed a break, I would have an issue w/that. I'm a all-or-nothing girl...either we work on issues together or we go our separate ways.
caltron
Well-Known Member
You are making perfect sense and I totally agree with you. I don't think it takes months for a person to decide whether they want to be with you. If they're needing to take a break, it just means you are not the one for them. Sometimes the guy may not even realize it on a conscious level, but you can save yourself a lot of heartache if you just pull the bandaid off yourself.
It generally takes me longer to attach properly and fall in love so all my SOs have been hooked before me. They tend to feel 100% sure way before I do. If in the pre relationship phase I have no problem these days saying if its going too fast and we need to slow the **** down.
Im usually unsure during the first couple of months of a relationship, but I either bare with it and let myself fall fully when I'm ready, or I'd break up with them . I don't see the point of asking for a break after the relationship has already started. I don't think not being sure during the pre relationship process is always a disaster though.
Im usually unsure during the first couple of months of a relationship, but I either bare with it and let myself fall fully when I'm ready, or I'd break up with them . I don't see the point of asking for a break after the relationship has already started. I don't think not being sure during the pre relationship process is always a disaster though.
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Seeking8Rights
New Member
Maybe I read the OP wrong? The guy you were dating who took a break, now wants to date you again?
Sorry, I'm a little slow this morning.
Sorry, I'm a little slow this morning.
Pompous Blue
Well-Known Member
My SO wanted to take a break when he came back home from a military tour of duty. I said, okay, but we couldn't be "friends", talk to each other or anything 'cause I felt like it was a permanent break-up. Three days later he came back and 23 yrs later we're still together and married.
So, I say it's a case by case thing. There is no one answer. The couple should do what's best for them and not try to follow some hard and fast "rule" on dating and breaking up.
So, I say it's a case by case thing. There is no one answer. The couple should do what's best for them and not try to follow some hard and fast "rule" on dating and breaking up.
Pompous Blue
Well-Known Member
Fine 4s Yes, it would matter to me. If I felt like he was running a game on me, the break-up would be permanent and he'll never ever, ever get another chance....
YasashiiSekai
New Member
I don't get the whole break thing....
if someone wants a break then either they don't want to be with you, or they want to do something in that time that they can't do because you're with them, and they might feel guilty about it because you're still in a relationship (you're technically not when you're on a "break").
...either way it isn't good, so I'm not sure if I would want to go back to someone if they wanted one.
if someone wants a break then either they don't want to be with you, or they want to do something in that time that they can't do because you're with them, and they might feel guilty about it because you're still in a relationship (you're technically not when you're on a "break").
...either way it isn't good, so I'm not sure if I would want to go back to someone if they wanted one.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
I don't see the point in 'taking a break' in relationships. Either you want to be together or you don't. I know there exceptions but in most cases I find someone who says 'let's take a break' wants to have their cake and eat it too. They may truly want that person in their life, but they're not ready to commit either. If a SO ever told me he wanted a break I'd give it to him, it'd just be a permanent one.
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
ITA with your post but the bolded is key. Either you're together or you're not and this staying friends even though your not together is a way for the person asking for the break to keep you attached to them while they enjoy their break (dating other people) and you.
If it's a break, it's a full break..when I've seen women stick to this hard and fast, almost invariably he comes back all in love.
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BrownBetty
Well-Known Member
My girls and I say:
"I don't do breaks I do break ups"
I don't play that ish. You leave you leave... I don't have time for the rest. A friend of mine had to tell her ex this. He was unemployed, she stuck by him, he got a job, all of a sudden he needs a break to get himself together. She said ok and left. He came back a month later wanting to get back together. She fell out laughing....
"I don't do breaks I do break ups"
I don't play that ish. You leave you leave... I don't have time for the rest. A friend of mine had to tell her ex this. He was unemployed, she stuck by him, he got a job, all of a sudden he needs a break to get himself together. She said ok and left. He came back a month later wanting to get back together. She fell out laughing....
Hairsnob
Deep Thinker
I agree with the others. If a man says he needs a break give him just that. A break that does NOT include you still seeing him, talking to him or anything.
Most of the time it means they're dating someone new and they want to feel that person out without you being in the way. So if that person doesn't work out then there you are in his in case of emergency break glass box.
The only exception I can see to this is a man who is going through something like maybe a new job or something else stressful where they can't deal with a relationship at the time.
I can only see going back to a guy I had a break from if it was a true break and he had a chance to really be by himself and appreciate me. If you stayed in the picture he probably won't respect you as much.
Most of the time it means they're dating someone new and they want to feel that person out without you being in the way. So if that person doesn't work out then there you are in his in case of emergency break glass box.
The only exception I can see to this is a man who is going through something like maybe a new job or something else stressful where they can't deal with a relationship at the time.
I can only see going back to a guy I had a break from if it was a true break and he had a chance to really be by himself and appreciate me. If you stayed in the picture he probably won't respect you as much.
