WORRIED ABOUT HAIR STYLIST...NEED HELP!!

[azul11]

First I would like to say that I really do like my stylist. She is highly recommened at this site (Marcia from LaVar Hair Designs) but I am worried if I am falling into the same pattern with hair stylist who do more harm then good.

The last visit I went to she told me I have to not wait too long for a touchup that I should come every 6 weeks and that my hair was thicker when I first came to her. Here is where my problems is.

1) When she finishes washing and conditioning my hair she blows it out and then flat irons it. (My hair doesnt like heat too much and I am sure this may be why my hair isnt as thick and has split ends)

2)I dont like my hair poker straight. It looks drab on my head and makes my hair look thin.

3) As long as I take care of my hair waiting never hurt it. Six weeks now seems too soon for me and the fact that I pay 80 dollars each time that is like almost 80 a month

and that is too much relaxing for my taste per year when I was relaxing 3x a year max when I used to wear braids.

What should I do? I dont want to leave the salon because I do trust her work but I cant take the heat or go for this new 6 week deadline. Help!!!

God bless you all.

 

[simplycee]

Your hair, your money, your rules! To me its as simple as that.

 

[aqualung]

Re: 1 & 2
My stylist blows out my fine hair too, and it falls flat quickly. Better to have the hair wrapped after the rollers are removed. When I rollerset at home and just comb the curls down (no blowout), the resulting hairstyle is fuller.

Re: 3
The board is filled with tips about spacing relaxers 2+ months apart. It'll save you money if you can work out such a touchup schedule.

 

[KinksnCurlz]

hey ma

As you know already i love me some marcia BUT like any stylist, she's gonna do what she's use to unless u tell her that's not what you want. After relaxing, I do not get blow outs, she rollersets my hair. (she told i'm one of the few who requests this that's y she can never find the rollers

) The one and only one time did she flatiron after the rollerset was at my request b/c i wanted to take a pic as i was FoTM.

What did she mean 'thicker when u first came to her'? I don't understand that.

How often do you think you need to see her? Every 12 (4x yr) - 16 (3x yr) weeks? If that's the case, then stick to your guns. $80 duckets every 6 weeks is damn near $720/yr... sh*t...

 

[Wolftrap]

It's your hair do what YOU feel is best. If you have not noticed anything different with your hair when you stretch relaxers then you do what you know is best. If your hair does not like heat then tell her. Black stylists are quick to fry your hair up.

I don't mean to make this a race thing, but I'm sorry a black hair stylist with NEVER!!! touch my hair again. I have been to countless ones and they always have some dumb stuff to say and don't know jack about growing hair. They are quick to tell you your hair is damaged and needs to be cut off and other things you know aren't right. I listened for years because I didn't know any better. Now I'm sure there are some good ones I just have not come across them yet. I'll stick to the Dominican salons. I have never had a problem with them at all and my hair has been SOOO much healthier since I vowed never to listen to another black stylist.My hair never grew with the countless black stylist that I had. Plus the Dominicans are half the price and do a better job in my opinon.

You can't beat a wash and set for $15 and a perm for $40. I often wonder why anyone with access to a Dominican salon in New York even still pay those high prices black salons charge.

 

[bollyhair]

[ QUOTE ]
simplycee said:
Your hair, your money, your rules! To me its as simple as that.

[/ QUOTE ]

'NUFF SAID!

 

[Carlie]

I go to Marcia as well for my touchups.

So far, I'm very pleased with her work. When I had my last touch up back in April, I told her that I wanted my hair roller set and then put up in a wrap. No blowdrying, no hot curling and no flat ironing. She did what I asked her to do without questioning.

My question to you is did you ASK her to blowdry and flatiron your hair? If not, then, why didn't you just tell her what you wanted done? As was already said, it's YOUR hair and YOUR money...YOU make the rules.

 

[Leslie_C]

I had the same problem with my stylist. if I went in at 4 and 5 weeks for a wash and set and had a lot of new growth, she would try to tell me I need a perm. COME ON NOW!?@?

Plus she underprocessed my hair the first time and overprocessed it the second(took her sweet time applying it, it was burning by the time she was done, THEN she had to let it "process". And my hair got thinner by going to her a few times.

She did a good job on trims (1st stylist Ive found who doesnt cut too much) and styling it, but Im trying to grow my hair and its not worth frying it so it looks good for a few days.

Needless to say Im shopping for a new stylist. I will probably go to her for an occasional trim and just tell her I do my own perms or a friend does them now.

I found a great dominican salon who seemed to know ALL about hair, so Im leaning towards them. But I wont let them cut it, the lady I talked to seemed eager to get at me with scissors....

 

[Neroli]

[ QUOTE ]
Carlie said:
My question to you is did you ASK her to blowdry and flatiron your hair? If not, then, why didn't you just tell her what you wanted done? As was already said, it's YOUR hair and YOUR money...YOU make the rules.

[/ QUOTE ]

YOU have to set the boundaries and like everyone is saying here, just say no to the stuff you don't want and TELL her what you DO want! When I first started going my current stylist (who is dominician and who i LOVE) she suggested a rinse/color becasue I have some gray, I told her NO, thanks. She then wanted to do a blowout after my rollerset- she didn't ask, but started with the blow dryer and I and said NO, thanks. I didn't explain, I just said NO and told her what i wanted. NOW, we are great buddies and she knows what to do for me. We have no problems and she just does my hair the way I like, no fuss, no muss -- if she start's with something I don't like, I'll tell her. I watch her many times do each lady a bit different, some speaks up, some don't. The moral here is, if you don't say what you want, they're gonna do what THEY want 'cause you're not giving any directions.

 

[azul11]

thank you so much for your responses. I think my main problem is me. I do not know how to speak up. I will sit through so much and not say a word. I know dumb dumb dumb. I have been on these hair sites for almost 4 years and should know better but it is so different when I am actually sitting in the chair and the stylist is telling me what I need to do.

I never ask for the blowdry and flatiron because I had a bad experience with a lady who blowdried, flat ironed and curled my hair TWICE and my hair looked so thin my mom commented and said I should stop going there. Marcia is different. She is very nice and takes good care of my hair. But flags went up when she said six weeks.

With my hair when I first came to her I just got out of braids that I had in my hair for about 3 months. I like that time period of 2-3 months mainly because I worry about overlapping and I want my hair to be in good condition.

I feel bad even saying anything. I always tell her to do whats best for my hair but I really need to be proactive and say I want x,y and z. And the reason I let her do the procedure was only because a member here said she lets her do it because she goes so infrequent that she doesnt feel that it would hurt her hair.

sometimes i wish i had a mouthpiece to say what i want to say for me. i always sit and take stuff and kick myself later. God bless you all.

 

[KinksnCurlz]

azul... u know marcia is cool, she's not one of 'those' stylists. just tell her u don't want ur hair blown and flatironed. you just want a rollerset and wrap and go (or whatever u want). She's gonna respect ur wishes... she may ask y, just tell her honestly, you don't LIKE how ur hair looks and/or feels afterwards. PERIOD! she will respect that.
As for the relaxing, just tell her, sorry, can't afford that! i'll come back in such and such (or just make an appt. with the guy (forgot his name) for when YOU want to come back

 

[Carlie]

[ QUOTE ]
CaramelHonee said:
azul... u know marcia is cool, she's not one of 'those' stylists. just tell her u don't want ur hair blown and flatironed. you just want a rollerset and wrap and go (or whatever u want). She's gonna respect ur wishes... she may ask y, just tell her honestly, you don't LIKE how ur hair looks and/or feels afterwards. PERIOD! she will respect that.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's true... when I went, she expressed a desire to trim my hair. I told her and she was able to SEE

that I was not yet MENTALLY ready for that. I have had a lot of tramatic experiences in the past when it comes to stylists with scissors in their hands...so I'm easy to start gettin' flashbacks,

. Anyway, she respected my wishes not to get a trim...she didn't try to force her view on me and she didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

A long time ago, I used to be afraid to speak up for myself in salons and my hair just got shorter and shorter each time I went. But what motivates me to speak up for what I believe/want for my hair is my goal. Whenever I'm a little unsure of whether I should speak up, I just remember what my hair goals are and question how serious I am about reaching them.

 

[Nice]

I go to Marica too. Trust me, if you tell her that you don't want your hair to be blown and flat ironed...she will not do it.

I love the way that she relaxes. My only problem with her is that she will not use a mild relaxer on my hair. For that reason alone I am comtemplating going to someone else.

 

[henrilou]

When I go to my stylist and she saying one thing and I am not agreeing I try to remember that it's ME who will be crying and cussing the rest of the night over my hair. She'll be asleep not thinking anything about my hair whatsoever. I told her that exact thing one time and she laughed and said it was true, so she'll do my hair the way I WANT IT. Try to think of it that way...

 

[azul11]

Thank you guys. I hope I have this much courage when I go back. okay the guy that sits at the reception desk set me up for a august 18th appointment. i am taking a bunch of vitamins and protein because I am afraid there wont be much new growth to justify the touchup. plus I am going away at the end of august and there are two conflicting things going on in my brain should i go for the touchup anyway since i know the area i will be at humidity wont be my friend or should i postpone it and save the money for my trip.

I do want my hair to grow that is my main goal. I just think the problem is me. I keep sitting there and letting these stylist talk me into things I dont want to do. Now if someone else said my stylist suggested this and that I would be one of the first people to say its your hair your money but let me get in that chair and I lose all nerve.

I know Marcia is cool and she is the best stylist I have had its just that 6 week thing that threw me. I was like noooooooo.....not another one. I will have to discuss with her that six weeks is too soon for me and will have to request the roller sets from now on. dang cant one of you come and speak for me lol.

God bless you all.

 

[simplycee]

azul

I would happily come and speak for you but gas is soooooooo high in MA that I would not be able to afford the return trip. I will however remind you to speak up at your next appt. Look for me to pm you around 8/18!

 

[KinksnCurlz]

ur next appt (8/18) is that 6 weeks from the last time u went? is that date acceptible 2 u?

ur just a peach, ur so sweet

Don't worry about Marcia, just tell her what you prefer, she will undoubtedly respect that and do as you wish.

 

[Carlie]

[ QUOTE ]
azul11 said:
dang cant one of you come and speak for me lol.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
simplycee said:
azul

I would happily come and speak for you but gas is soooooooo high in MA that I would not be able to afford the return trip. I will however remind you to speak up at your next appt. Look for me to pm you around 8/18!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, my momma and I will be there tomorrow getting our touchups done ... So, Azul, if you stop by then, we'll be sure to back you up!

 

[cutebajangirl]

Why don't you call and reschedule the appt now, it is easier for me to be firm over the phone and maybe it will be easier for you too. I would wait until after the trip and do braid outs etc until then.

 

[GodsPromises]

[ QUOTE ]
When I rollerset at home and just comb the curls down (no blowout), the resulting hairstyle is fuller.



[/ QUOTE ]

OT- Megan I thought I was the only one who didn't blow dry or do a doobie after rollersetting. Nice to know that I'm not alone.

 

[azul11]

thank you again everyone. i think i am gaining more courage to reschedule. my hair is shedding which is very unusual for me because it is usually a week before a single strand is seen. now its a lot more than i am used to. i'm getting my hair washed on monday and hopefully the shedding will subside. this has me a little worried and has convinced me futher that i need to wait on the touchup. even though its a month away and i dont know whether i will need to get a touchup or not the shedding is bothersome. especially considering that even when i had the worst hair stylist in the world and i didnt even so much as moisturize my scalp it never shed as much as it is now. God bless you all.