Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, and Proverbs 9:10 all state that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom. I believe that recognizing and acknowledging that you cannot do anything without God is Wisdom. When you read the book of Proverbs, it continually speaks about a fool. My interpretation of a fool, from reading Proverbs, is someone who does not acknowledge God as sovereign and in control of everything. Someone who believes he can do things on his own. Someone who is prideful. The Bible also states that pride precedes the fall (Proverbs 16: 18) and humility comes before honor (Proverbs 15:13; Proverbs 18:12; Proverbs 22:4).
I am single, in my late thirties and I understand what you are going through. There are SO MANY decisions to be made on a daily basis. In my late twenties, I quit a “good” job (meaning I had a pretty good income) to attend graduate school full-time. BIG MISTAKE. I didn’t finish graduate school and it took me a while to get back to where I was financially. But you know what? God is faithful and he is able.
The biggest thing I learned during that time was how to totally depend on God. I thought I was smart and I thought making a good pay check was everything. You know what I quickly found out? I am nothing without Him. One thing that came about as a result of my mistake was that I began to make it a priority to spend quality time with God every day. During that time, and I continue to do this even today: every morning I rise an hour before it is time for me to get up and spend quality time with my God. I begin by writing down 5 things I am grateful for in my gratitude journal. I then read my Bible. I then read a Christian book. Every morning is not the same, I let the Holy Spirit guide me on how to best spend time with Him. And you know what? He does speak to me. If you do this, you will know things you never could have guessed on your own. People will ask you, “How did you know that?” And you will truthfully answer, “I don’t know, I just do.” That’s the Holy Spirit who will be constantly in communion with you!!! The Bible says he speaks in a still, small, voice (I Kings 19:12). That means that He will not compete with the things of this world to get your attention. IF YOU WANT TO HEAR HIM SPEAK TO YOU, BE STILL, AND HE WILL!
I just gave you a quick run down of how I spend time with Him to give you an idea of how to do it. But let the Holy Spirit guide you. The Bible states he rewards those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Spending time with Him on a regular basis will allow you diligently seek Him and he will reward you by sharpening your spiritual ears (he will reward you in many different ways).
It has been 10 + years since I have strived to spend consistent time with my Lord every morning. Some mornings are better than others. On some mornings I oversleep. On some mornings I can only do 15 minutes. But don’t let that discourage you, as long as you continue to try, God will honor that. I am a morning person which is probably why the Holy Spirit moved me to get up early. You may be a night person and the Holy Spirit may move you to stay up an hour later before going to bed. If you are a single parent, you may have to spend your time with Him while your kids are napping.
And I understand what SuperNova meant when she said she was mad at God. I’ve been mad at him several times. . . in the past year! The Bible says he is my Husband as well as my Maker (Isaiah 54:5). And how many women have not been mad at their husbands??? He is big enough for your anger. To be honest, I don’t know how anyone who says they have a personal relationship with Him haven’t been mad at Him at some point in the past. How many of us have friends at whom we have NEVER been mad?
The book I am reading now in my quiet time is Just Enough Light for the Step I am On by Stormie Omartian and I highly recommend it. (I got it on sale for $5 at LifeWay Christian Store). How do I know what book to read during my quiet time with Him? I usually go to the Christian bookstore (or sometimes other bookstores, or even the book section at Wal-Mart) and I am often led by the Holy Spirit to the exact book which speaks to my spirit. There is an Chinese proverb which says, “When the student is ready, the teacher shows up.” Don’t be discouraged, if you spend time with Him, he will speak to you. He may not speak to you during quiet time with Him, but He will speak. And even today, I am still amazed at the "awesome-ness" of God and some of the methods he uses to speak to me. I am still a work-in-progress, but I am so grateful to be a student of the Teacher of the Universe.
Another suggestion, read different versions of the Bible, you will be amazed at how different versions (New King James, New International Version, Living Bible, Amplified Bible, etc.) help you to better interpret and understand different scriptures.
Anyway, I know this post was long, but that’s my two pennies. . .