Why Would a Stylist Lie??? (Rant)

LuvlyRain3

LuvlyRain3

Well-Known Member
So my cousin has been thinking about going natural. I have been giving her advice on how to transition. I told her that she should check out this forum for tips. She started going on and on about believing everything you read on the internet and that they are probably lying about their hair and taking pics with weaves. :nono:

She said that she was going to go to a salon to get a consultation. I come home yesterday and and the girl is greasing her scalp with vaseline and one of her friends is mixing up a perm.

She starts telling me about how the shs told her that there was no such thing as transitioning and the only way to go natural is to cut all your hair off. The shs told her that if she stopped getting perms that all her hair would fall out. I told that I transitioned for six months with barely any breakage and that there are plenty of people who transition for years.

She just kept saying but the stylist said this and the stylist said that. And to make it worse she went to a Dominican salon. I told her that shs was lying because $50-70 that she would get for you getting a perm doesn't compare to the $25 she would get if all you needed was a wash n set. She goes that doesn't make any sense why would a stylist lie??

To make things worse her friend that was doing her perm had horrible hair. She's one of those girls that barely have enough hair to put into a ponytail but still puts it sitting on the top of her and takes her chewed up back and slaps some black gel on it to make it lay flat (yeah I know HAM). I started watching the girl put the perm in. I told her that she was overlapping and that she was gonna cause overprocessing. She looked at me like I was crazy. I couldn't watch so I left.

I come home this morning and my cousin is in the bathroom coming down her wrap. There was so much breakage. I asked her what was wrong with her hair. I took out my shower comb and I realized that her scalp was red and she had Burns by her edges. And her hair had the strong smell of perm. Her friend didn't properly neutralize!!! Her hair is breaking off so badly now. Its really sad. Sorry this is such a long rant but this is hate to see things like this happen and I don't know what to do because I've never been in this situation. What should she do??? OK I'm done.

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Its amazing to me how little knowledge many "stylist" have when it comes to natural hair. Just sad.
 
OMG! I am so mad! First off how an she trust a stylist out for money, pver famly who is oy out to help! Pls doesn't shesee how beautif your hair is. Is she going to start taking care of hr hair now? Even if she keeps relaxing I hope she is more careful about it. She should come on this site and ask some of these healthy hair relaxed ladies what they do to achieve what htey got. I feel so sorry for her.....I know how much it hurts to have a chemical burn...
 
Wow! This is just sad. Ppl who don't or can't think for themselves. Not all ppl holding titles are wrong but this transcends stylist advice and is a major problem in the world as a whole. I see this IRL with regard to college professors, celebrities, politicians (yes, on both sides), doctors, ministers and other religious leaders (including agnostic or atheists mentors):nono:. Just b/c someone has degrees, titles, can sing or act, etc does not make them infallible and the end all to be all. SMH! Maybe now she can start her HHJ and will listen to you. Just sad...
 
I really wished that she would have asked me do the perm for her instead of her friend. But she said that since I'm natural I wouldn't support her relaxed hair. I told I support healthy hair relaxed or natural and this is not healthy.

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I am not going to lie...I used to overlap like crazy before my STYLIST told me that was damaging my hair! I was like "Oh Crap" and she was about to kill me for that. Then when I used to get relaxers I would try to get them to early...like I would ask her to give me a relaxer and she REFUSED to do it...she said there was no need. She just washed roller set and I deuced out. There are some Stylist that really care about hair health but CLEARLY this one did not care a LICK about your cousins hair. The only reason I am considering BC is because my hair is CURLY WAVY CURLY then...BAM!!! BONE STRAIGHT! I am tired of that stupid look! I digress...

But that is sad. Why don't you suggest doing her hair from now on. You may not be a stylist but you have this site and apparently more common sense. Even if she doesn't want to go natural...do her relaxers for her...you know how to do it better than he "doorbell ponytail" friend...
 
Uniqzoe said:
Its amazing to me how little knowledge many "stylist" have when it comes to natural hair. Just sad.
Click to expand...

It amazes me how little knowledge stylist have in general whether it be on relaxed or natural heads. You would think they would want to do a good job so their clients will return :nono: This is just awful.
 
Carisa said:
It amazes me how little knowledge stylist have in general whether it be on relaxed or natural heads. You would think they would want to do a good job so their clients will return :nono: This is just awful.
Click to expand...

Honestly I've come to realize that a lot of stylist do know better. They just don't care. And since a lot of women equate styled hair to healthy hair they will continue to go to money hungry shs.



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OOOHHH! That burns me when they keep telling me "Stop believing everything you read on the internet" My family shut the *** up then they kept having breakage and spits...and my TWA is flourishing and healthy...
You can't tell some folks you have to show them... I.E. swing your HEALTHY non shedding hair hard in their face...they'll get the hint and start taking notes... :yep: Lol...
 
Uniqzoe said:
Its amazing to me how little knowledge many "stylist" have when it comes to natural hair. Just sad.
Click to expand...

Oh, trust me they have the knowledge but dont' feel like losing a client who decides to go natural.

Many do not or will not have interest in learning how to properly care for (ie. detangling, styling, maintaining) natural hair. It's alot more profitable to keep your client coming back faithfully every 6 weeks for that touch-up.

I wish more women in general would seek out outside knowledge whether in books or the internet on topics that they are curious about. I dont take everything folks say as gospel..I do my own research and find out how it may/may not effect me. I really hope your cousin gets a 'clue' sometime..sometime very soon! :yep:
 
I really don't know what to say but she probably believed the stylist because that is what she really wanted to believe. I didn't know some things about hair that I had to learn in my own time (and to my own peril).
 
It's horrible that happened to her but since it seems like she doesn't really believe what you have to say on the subject it's best to show her by example. it might be a good idea to find some ladies here and on YT that are relaxed that have healthy, beautiful hair if your natural hair seems to be an issue for her when it comes to listening to advice.

Like others have said sometimes people have to go through things the hard way for a long time before they wake up.
 
I don't think this had anything to do with the stylist at all. Your cousin isn't ready to accept the knowledge available to her.

SN: plenty of Dominican stylists are familiar with, and regularly style, natural hair.
 
Solitude said:
I don't think this had anything to do with the stylist at all. Your cousin isn't ready to accept the knowledge available to her.

SN: plenty of Dominican stylists are familiar with, and regularly style, natural hair.
Click to expand...

My problem with the Dominican salons in my area is that they treat every head of hair the same. Plus I told her about the natural salons in the area who gave me advice when I was transitioning and she went else where.

I know that what ls happening to her hair is her fault but I still wish I knew a way to help her.



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Why would a stylist lie? To keep money in their pocket.:rolleyes: I'm sorry your cousin's hair ended up in a bad way.:nono:
 
Last edited:
What's sad is that you told you "not to believe everything on the internet", but she believes everything that comes out of the stylist's mouth. When she is ready...maybe she will accept your help, but she has to be ready to receive it. How sad...
 
Why would she ask a stylist advice on transitioning? That's their bread and butter so of course she's gonna lie. That's like getting AA advice from a bartender. Or asking a drug dealer advice on how to quit drugs LOL

Sounds like your cousin doesn't really want advice IMHO. I'd let her be.


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I know its not suppose to be funny but she told her friend that did her hair that her hair was breaking off. Her friend told her that its her fault because she was scratching. WTF??? I just wrote down the lhcf website for them on a piece of paper and told them that the information is there when you're ready.

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Solitude said:
I don't think this had anything to do with the stylist at all. Your cousin isn't ready to accept the knowledge available to her.

SN: plenty of Dominican stylists are familiar with, and regularly style, natural hair.
Click to expand...

Yes. We all put our heads together and decided to install weaves before our length checks. We also pull these "rules" for a HHJ out of our butts. (just poking fun, OP!)

All I read in that story was denial. Sometimes I think that we as hair forum members get so excited about what we learn that we misread the emotions and opinions of those around us. I don't know all the circumstances about how her "thinking of going natural" came about, but it totally sounds like more your idea than hers. If she really wants to do it, or even have healthy relaxed hair, she will go looking for the info. I can tell you right now everything you're telling her is falling on deaf ears.

Re: Dominican salons....I don't think it's fair to make a generalization like that, just like I can't say all black stylists are relaxer-pushing scissor happy freaks. At the salon I frequent, most of them are accustomed to doing relaxed hair, but my stylist ( and the girl she replaced) are both excellent with natural hair. Both me and my 4b sister left her chair with healthy flowing hair post-blowout.
 
lilsparkle825 said:
Yes. We all put our heads together and decided to install weaves before our length checks. We also pull these "rules" for a HHJ out of our butts. (just poking fun, OP!)

All I read in that story was denial. Sometimes I think that we as hair forum members get so excited about what we learn that we misread the emotions and opinions of those around us. I don't know all the circumstances about how her "thinking of going natural" came about, but it totally sounds like more your idea than hers. If she really wants to do it, or even have healthy relaxed hair, she will go looking for the info. I can tell you right now everything you're telling her is falling on deaf ears.

Re: Dominican salons....I don't think it's fair to make a generalization like that, just like I can't say all black stylists are relaxer-pushing scissor happy freaks. At the salon I frequent, most of them are accustomed to doing relaxed hair, but my stylist ( and the girl she replaced) are both excellent with natural hair. Both me and my 4b sister left her chair with healthy flowing hair post-blowout.
Click to expand...

I came to the conclusion that she only reason she mentioned going natural is because she sees that I'm natural and my little sister is transitioning. I never push natural hair on people. Trust I am not trying to be the spokesperson for natural hair. She asked me about going natural and I told her to check out lhcf. I only have issues with the Dominican salons in my neighborhood. Not everywhere. The ones in my neighborhood treats everyone's hair the same. They treat damgaged hair like healthy hair and people leave with more hair on the floor than on their heads. I just wished people looked for information that's sitting right at their finger tips.



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LuvlyRain3 said:
So my cousin has been thinking about going natural. I have been giving her advice on how to transition. I told her that she should check out this forum for tips. She started going on and on about believing everything you read on the internet and that they are probably lying about their hair and taking pics with weaves. :nono:

She said that she was going to go to a salon to get a consultation. I come home yesterday and and the girl is greasing her scalp with vaseline and one of her friends is mixing up a perm.

She starts telling me about how the shs told her that there was no such thing as transitioning and the only way to go natural is to cut all your hair off. The shs told her that if she stopped getting perms that all her hair would fall out. I told that I transitioned for six months with barely any breakage and that there are plenty of people who transition for years.

She just kept saying but the stylist said this and the stylist said that. And to make it worse she went to a Dominican salon. I told her that shs was lying because $50-70 that she would get for you getting a perm doesn't compare to the $25 she would get if all you needed was a wash n set. She goes that doesn't make any sense why would a stylist lie??

To make things worse her friend that was doing her perm had horrible hair. She's one of those girls that barely have enough hair to put into a ponytail but still puts it sitting on the top of her and takes her chewed up back and slaps some black gel on it to make it lay flat (yeah I know HAM). I started watching the girl put the perm in. I told her that she was overlapping and that she was gonna cause overprocessing. She looked at me like I was crazy. I couldn't watch so I left.

I come home this morning and my cousin is in the bathroom coming down her wrap. There was so much breakage. I asked her what was wrong with her hair. I took out my shower comb and I realized that her scalp was red and she had Burns by her edges. And her hair had the strong smell of perm. Her friend didn't properly neutralize!!! Her hair is breaking off so badly now. Its really sad. Sorry this is such a long rant but this is hate to see things like this happen and I don't know what to do because I've never been in this situation. What should she do??? OK I'm done.

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Click to expand...

You tried to warn her!
 
Solitude said:
I don't think this had anything to do with the stylist at all. Your cousin isn't ready to accept the knowledge available to her.

SN: plenty of Dominican stylists are familiar with, and regularly style, natural hair.
Click to expand...

WERD!! great observation Solitude :yep:

Some people need to come to knowledge in their own time. i'm guessing the doorknob-ponytail (funny, whoever said that) friend is representative of all her other friends which means she's probably come to consider unhealthy short hair the norm. this is likely why she can't even fathom a site/blog/vlog like lhcf where women with real-growing-out-of-their-heads long hair exist and not just random crazy people posting length checks w/ weaves.

you're talking about a whole new world she doesn't have any reason to believe exists yet, since everything in her environment tells her otherwise. give her time. i'm sure even after getting a bad chemical burn and losing hair to overprocessing she still won't be ready to hear you out.

all you can do is watch and be there for her when she needs it (only when she asks, don't continue knocking your head against her brick wall).

you can't go on her journey for her :look:


good luck to you both,
nz

*edited for clarity
 
Last edited:
I would like to believe the stylists was uneducated in proper transitioning techniques and not lying to her client. If she was trying to upsell her product or service to make money then she is just like the majority of businesses out there.

If she wants to go natural maybe she should seek a stylist who does natural hair only. That stylist can share the benefits of going natural and still make money from her clients.

Good luck to you both.
 
Wow, sad, about your cousin's hair.

To be honest, I don't think the stylist lied. My in-law is a stylist (only works with relaxed hair) and told our little cousin (13) that the only way she could 'go natural' would be to cut all of her hair off. She really believed that to be true. I looked at both of them in shock and told her no, that's not true, she could do that or slowly cut off her relaxed ends over time. Now, there is more to it meaning you have to be careful as the hair grows out, properly moisturize, condition, etc., but you DO NOT HAVE TO CUT all of your hair down to your natural hair.

After telling them both that, the child still changed her mind about growing natural because she believed the 'stylist' over me. I wasn't insulted though...that's usually the norm unfortunately.
 
LuvlyRain3 said:
So my cousin has been thinking about going natural. I have been giving her advice on how to transition. I told her that she should check out this forum for tips. She started going on and on about believing everything you read on the internet and that they are probably lying about their hair and taking pics with weaves. :nono:

She said that she was going to go to a salon to get a consultation. I come home yesterday and and the girl is greasing her scalp with vaseline and one of her friends is mixing up a perm.

She starts telling me about how the shs told her that there was no such thing as transitioning and the only way to go natural is to cut all your hair off. The shs told her that if she stopped getting perms that all her hair would fall out. I told that I transitioned for six months with barely any breakage and that there are plenty of people who transition for years.

She just kept saying but the stylist said this and the stylist said that. And to make it worse she went to a Dominican salon. I told her that shs was lying because $50-70 that she would get for you getting a perm doesn't compare to the $25 she would get if all you needed was a wash n set. She goes that doesn't make any sense why would a stylist lie??

To make things worse her friend that was doing her perm had horrible hair. She's one of those girls that barely have enough hair to put into a ponytail but still puts it sitting on the top of her and takes her chewed up back and slaps some black gel on it to make it lay flat (yeah I know HAM). I started watching the girl put the perm in. I told her that she was overlapping and that she was gonna cause overprocessing. She looked at me like I was crazy. I couldn't watch so I left.

I come home this morning and my cousin is in the bathroom coming down her wrap. There was so much breakage. I asked her what was wrong with her hair. I took out my shower comb and I realized that her scalp was red and she had Burns by her edges. And her hair had the strong smell of perm. Her friend didn't properly neutralize!!! Her hair is breaking off so badly now. Its really sad. Sorry this is such a long rant but this is hate to see things like this happen and I don't know what to do because I've never been in this situation. What should she do??? OK I'm done.

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Click to expand...
Tell her to go to her stylist and ask you what she should do AFTER you tell her that her hair is still being proccessed b/c you smell relaxe on her head and you can see her scalp burns.

Lawd, my people.
 
~Sparklingflame~ said:
Tell her to go to her stylist and ask you what she should do AFTER you tell her that her hair is still being proccessed b/c you smell relaxe on her head and you can see her scalp burns.

Lawd, my people.
Click to expand...

SF... the stylist didn't put the relaxer in. Her cousin let the dumba$$ed friend put the relaxer in!:nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono:
 
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