(sorry for the long post - just answering OP and sharing my thoughts
)
I am a natural who wears my hair straight, kinky/curly, dyed - however I feel at the moment. I have relaxed my hair in the past, and transitioned from relaxed to completely natural twice without a BC! My hair is long, full, and very healthy. I think that some women are bothered about naturals who straighten often because they are concerned about damage ... as they should be. It is very easy to heat damage. However, if they are concerned, they should just try to share knowledge with them to help them straighten it right and avoid damage - not try to change their styling choice because that's personal.
BUT, I believe other natural women get up-in-arms over straightening naturals because they assume that the straightening natural is doing so because she is subconciously trying to adopt a Euro standard of beauty; doesn't accept her natural texture and feels it is inferior to straight hair...
basically that it is a subconcious expression of self-hate.
Now, I do understand the sentiment. Subconcious self-hate has been a problem for black people in this country because of our history in this country and the way we have been abused and portrayed as inferior and even undesirable, when its just not true or right. And when this is indeed the motivation for altering the natural texture, it IS a serious problem (the self esteem issue that is, not the straightening in-and-of itself
). BUT, I hope that those naturals who are bothered by fellow naturals who straighten, relaxed ladies, etc. may understand that while those societal scars
can be the cause of black womens' hair decisions, that is not always the case.
I LOVE my hair - just how it grows out of my head. My Father in heaven made it, and it is perfect and beautiful without any help from me. But, I also love its versatility, and I like to change the look of my hair just for fashion or even sometimes convenience purposes. It's versatility is part of it's beauty! I wear what I feel like rockin' at the moment. If the mood strikes me, I can and will relax and still have beautiful and healthy hair because I have learned how to take care of it no matter how it is styled. I don't hate my hair or myself; I am in love with me and love experimenting with the many beautiful styles available to try. Why must I be chained to one style just because I'm a black girl when women of other races change their hair all the time and nobody gives them a hard time??? That is not freedom, its bondage. I am free
. I can do what I want with my hair, just like you can. God is my only judge. Besides, women of other races are still natural when they flat-iron, so why not us? We should stop putting so many artificial restraints on one another and judging one another so harshly. That has the effect of tearing each other down instead of building up.
Therefore, I guess I am saying, if someone is bothered by a straightening natural;
Unless you know the straightening lady personally, and know that she has deep self-esteem issues regarding her natural hair which are the real cause for your concern - there is no need to be bothered by peoples' styling choices. And more often than you might think, it is just that -
a styling choice - and not a deep-seeded self esteem issue. So please don't assume that it is when you see us; we're just being free!
God bless ya girlies
And in all honesty, it is time to let that slavery arguement go. Using it to your convenience just isnt cool anymore. A few things black people still do is rooted from slavery but we have yet to abandon those. Lets move on.
