Why is flat ironing natural hair such a big deal?

[SuchaLady]

Im relaxed and I know for a fact if I ever decide to go natural I will wear my hair straight the majority of the time. Why? Because 1. it grows out of my head and 2. because I like it that way. And I have seen people on here argue about it and I just And in all honesty, it is time to let that slavery arguement go. Using it to your convenience just isnt cool anymore. A few things black people still do is rooted from slavery but we have yet to abandon those. Lets move on.

 

[songbyrd517]

(sorry for the long post - just answering OP and sharing my thoughts )


I am a natural who wears my hair straight, kinky/curly, dyed - however I feel at the moment. I have relaxed my hair in the past, and transitioned from relaxed to completely natural twice without a BC! My hair is long, full, and very healthy. I think that some women are bothered about naturals who straighten often because they are concerned about damage ... as they should be. It is very easy to heat damage. However, if they are concerned, they should just try to share knowledge with them to help them straighten it right and avoid damage - not try to change their styling choice because that's personal.

BUT, I believe other natural women get up-in-arms over straightening naturals because they assume that the straightening natural is doing so because she is subconciously trying to adopt a Euro standard of beauty; doesn't accept her natural texture and feels it is inferior to straight hair... basically that it is a subconcious expression of self-hate.

Now, I do understand the sentiment. Subconcious self-hate has been a problem for black people in this country because of our history in this country and the way we have been abused and portrayed as inferior and even undesirable, when its just not true or right. And when this is indeed the motivation for altering the natural texture, it IS a serious problem (the self esteem issue that is, not the straightening in-and-of itself ). BUT, I hope that those naturals who are bothered by fellow naturals who straighten, relaxed ladies, etc. may understand that while those societal scars can be the cause of black womens' hair decisions, that is not always the case.

I LOVE my hair - just how it grows out of my head. My Father in heaven made it, and it is perfect and beautiful without any help from me. But, I also love its versatility, and I like to change the look of my hair just for fashion or even sometimes convenience purposes. It's versatility is part of it's beauty! I wear what I feel like rockin' at the moment. If the mood strikes me, I can and will relax and still have beautiful and healthy hair because I have learned how to take care of it no matter how it is styled. I don't hate my hair or myself; I am in love with me and love experimenting with the many beautiful styles available to try. Why must I be chained to one style just because I'm a black girl when women of other races change their hair all the time and nobody gives them a hard time??? That is not freedom, its bondage. I am free . I can do what I want with my hair, just like you can. God is my only judge. Besides, women of other races are still natural when they flat-iron, so why not us? We should stop putting so many artificial restraints on one another and judging one another so harshly. That has the effect of tearing each other down instead of building up.

Therefore, I guess I am saying, if someone is bothered by a straightening natural; Unless you know the straightening lady personally, and know that she has deep self-esteem issues regarding her natural hair which are the real cause for your concern - there is no need to be bothered by peoples' styling choices. And more often than you might think, it is just that - a styling choice - and not a deep-seeded self esteem issue. So please don't assume that it is when you see us; we're just being free!

God bless ya girlies

 

[Southernbella.]

I wear my hair however I feel like it. That's the beauty of natural hair...I can wear it straight, wavy, kinky, nappy, curly, braided, twisted, fro'd out, or any other style I want. All this judgment about who is really natural is just internet messiness.

 

[FearlessNik]

OP I am one of those militant naturals when it comes to MY hair. I am also a member of Nappturality. I believe it is a personal choice and not one to force on other people (similar to religion). For me becoming natural means enjoying my hair in it's natural state without altering it with chemicals or heat. I believe both of those damage your hair, even when done "correctly" and with "safety precautions". I also don't agree with straightening hair for length checks. While I would never advise someone to straighten their hair, If they decide to do it I will not try to stop them.

 

[MyInvisibleChyrsalis]

I think that when you get to the point of being militant about OTHER people's hair, it's time to back away from the keyboard. That being said, it's only an issue to some, and most people who have been natural for years don't even see it anymore. It's like, part of a large quilt. You can choose to focus on that aspect of being natural, or you can focus on another one. Naturalhood is multi-faceted beautiful diamond rainbow with spectrums of extremity on both sides.

 

[PinkGirlFluff]

I have neer had that experience in real life but I can say that people are going to have their own ideas of what being natural is. To me it's like being a vegetarian. There are so many typoes of vegetarians but that person is still considered all in all a vegetarian.

 

[locabouthair]

I will never understand how a black woman can get crucified for straightening her hair but when latinas or indian women do it it's ok.

 

[PinkGirlFluff]

It only matters to people that don't matter. I have not witnessed that kind of shade but I don't associate myself with individuals that are that shallow. It's all about the company you keep unless random strangers just come to you and say that and if that's the case you might want to keep some pepper spray on you.

 

[Melody.Monroe]

I really honestly wonder if there is a majority white woman hair forum that have women on there who are MILITANT about those that curl their hair or get perms (permanent curls)...I highly doubt it. And I would highly doubt that they think they are trying to "be ethnic or black"...

Only us...*Sigh*

 

[Qtee]

Personally the only issue that I have with straightening "MY" natural hair is that I worry about damage...and its a B&T&C to straighten..other than that I dont cant what anyone does with hair..and I dont subscribe to the notion that its or fro or nothing..

 

[MissMasala5]

There is a disconnect. To one person, natural may mean free of chemical processes. To another, it is that, PLUS how you actually style and wear your hair.




Sent from the TARDIS.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I used to go NP...my first post I introduced myself as a new natural...I made the mistake of saying...I want to have long hair (meaning..I want to have hair that is not breaking off left and right, and hair that has some length) Oh.....My.....GAWD! My 1st response from the NP welcoming party was from a current NP member LECTURING Me about how my self esteem must be sooooo low because by wanting long hair I am conforming to an ideal and blah blah blah blah blah...and why can't I just enjoy my hair in an Afro!

Not "welcome to NP.com"' or visit our rules, and here is a link to some natural hairstyles.....nothing...it was a straight criticism from a stranger to a stranger after I'd poured my heart out about my experience going from relaxed to natural....I was like "Child please! I want long hair because I want long hair" and who the heck are u to lecture me when you don't know me from Eve? Her response was another lecture....I left it alone.....What a way to welcome a newbie....I lurked after that, and read other criticizing threads about the way people wear their hair....it's not out of the blue...NP.com is harsh....there are good threads on styles and product, but honestly if you get too deep it's nauseating...ultimately they don't inspire, they overwhelm and bring you down. I'd never recommend a newly natural person sign up there......

 

[greenandchic]

naturalgyrl5199 That's why I stopped going there years ago.

 

[PinkGirlFluff]

They probably bicker over other stuff and they do make comments about their own people wanting to be black or ethnic or whatever. It's generally the same across the board. Society plays on the insecurities of women so we take it out on each other.