Why/How Would One Encourage Sin?

[PaperClip]

Ok... here's the story:

I was lamenting to my goddaughter's mother yesterday about my current status as an unmarried person and not (ever) sexually active and yet I am struggling somewhat in my spiritual walk.... This has been the toughest struggle of my life to the point where I wanted to walk away from the Lord and take matters into my own hands concerning my sexual status. I've been in church my whole life and never really hung out and all that.... Part of me feels like I'm entitled.... That's another tangent....

Anyway, I was just talking the aforementioned junk and my goddaughter's mother said "Well God will forgive you" if I made the conscious decision to have sex outside of marriage. This is not the first time she's said this to me. Whenever she says this, it sort of stops me in my tracks... It's like WHY would she say this? Fornication goes completely against the Word of God (that I already know anyway) and I know that God will forgive me, which way in the back of my mind kind of gives me some encouragement go on ahead. I've asked her why she says this and I don't recall getting a straight answer....

Does this happen to others--either as the one who is being told? How do you respond?

 

[Shimmie]

God says choose...and you chose. As I and many others, we chose to NOT yield unto temptation.

My sister has ALWAYS mocked my decision to remain celibate until marriage. She thinks I'm a fool for waiting so long. She's commented on how I'll never have anyone, if I keep 'acting like this'...and other comments of that nature.

But I tell her, it's not my desire to do yield my gift to anyone other than my husband. God has given me a wonderful gift, a new beginning. For 24 years, I've cherished this new beginning in my life and I desire to let no one change it.

If having sex before marriage was 'all that' then why are there MORE single women out here than those that are married???? Please why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free? This same sister of mine is still with her same boyfriend who has not committed to marry her. And she stuck in a rut for she's already given him everything she has to give without the honor of marriage. What more does he need her for? And if he can get 'it' from her for 'free', he can also get from another as well.

That's the mindset of the world. We help it along by yielding to the flesh and the men take it for what it's worth...'nothing' of value.

There's a woman on my job...3rd pregnancy; living with this same man for years and still no wedding. Pleeezzzzeee! I'm not going in for that mess. It's stupid! I know we should have compassion, but some things ar just plain stupid! This fool man of hers also impregnated his last girlfriend last year while the two of them (my co-worker and the fool man) were still living together. Some things are just stupid!

[Okay...Shimmie simmers her vent... ]

My point Rehab, people have no idea just how precious a gift we hold iwth our virtue. No one can ever make you feel ashamed for still being virtuous. Being celibate is the best thing a woman can do to esteem herself in value.

Men will not leave a woman for not having sex with them. They leave because they were they were leaving anyway...sex or no sex!

"Rehab", you have such a treaure. Your Virtue is precious; far above rubies and far above gold. And the value of your virtue is yet untold, until the day you are married. And that day WILL occur. For God is faithful that promised. Wear your virtue and esteem it as you do your love for Jesus Christ, for that's exactly what you are doing...loving God with your Virtue, for it is His which He has entrusted to you...Your Virtue...His.

As for the struggle, here's what stopped mine. I wrote this in another thread...

Posted by Shimmie:

"...Personally, I could be 'classified' as always in the 'mood' and without any help from him... I am an incurable 'Romantic' and I love it. I love Romance. But the key is "Desire". I have a very strong Desire that God was inbeding into my spirit for all these 24 years of being celibate and it comes down to this. Do I 'Desire' him for 'now' or the beauty of 'Forever'.
I choose, 'Forever'.

Choosing 'now' has no promise of "Forever"...choosing 'now' may last only 2-3 minutes of 'wow' and with the remaining 23 hours and 58 minutes filled with wondering how long will he still be in it. erplexed So the 'now' is not so 'wow'...

I want 'more' than I had in the past relationships I had with men before. As a woman, God took so much time to create me. I look at the wonder of how both me and my future husband were created...inside and out.

My 'Desire', during the times when I want him 'now', instead I want him 'Forever' and into Eternity with Jesus.

My lovng prayer to every woman, enjoy the beauty of being his mystery, you will never lose him to anyone else. God won't allow it. "That which is His, will never be plucked out of God's hands..." Who'd dare to steal your man from God?

And so all the rest of you wonderful ladies..."Desire Forever"...

Love to each of you...

"Rehab", the next time someone asks, here's the answer to give them,

"...Because I choose 'Forever"
​

I love being celibate, Rehab...I love it. For now I am whole again and will not be torn to pieces as before...in pre-marital sex. I am whole and he cherishes my Virtue, as I do and as our Father God who art in Heaven. ​

 

[pebbles]

My point Rehab, people have no idea just how precious a gift we hold iwth our virtue. No one can ever make you feel ashamed for still being virtuous. Being celibate is the best thing a woman can do to esteem herself in value.

Men will not leave a woman for not having sex with them. They leave because they were they were leaving anyway...sex or no sex!

"Rehab", you have such a treaure. Your Virtue is precious; far above rubies and far above gold. And the value of your virtue is yet untold, until the day you are married. And that day WILL occur. For God is faithful that promised. Wear your virtue and esteem it as you do your love for Jesus Christ, for that's exactly what you are doing...loving God with your Virtue, for it is His which He has entrusted to you...Your Virtue...His.

As for the struggle, here's what stopped mine. I wrote this in another thread...



"Rehab", the next time someone asks, here's the answer to give them,

"...Because I choose 'Forever"​

I love being celibate, Rehab...I love it. For now I am whole again and will not be torn to pieces as before...in pre-marital sex. I am whole and he cherishes my Virtue, as I do and as our Father God who art in Heaven. ​

Whew! Excellent post, Shimmie! I can't add a thing to what you've already said!

 

[Shimmie]

Whew! Excellent post, Shimmie! I can't add a thing to what you've already said!

Hi Angel That's cause I took up all the post 'writing 'space'... 24 years worth...

(Hush, Pebs...don't be teasing me about my '24'or I'll tell our Heavenly Papa, you were laughing at me .... It is funny though -'double - dozen' )

 

[PaperClip]

Wow, Shimmie.... sigh.... you covered so much.... Why was yesterday's sermon about the power of decision and how God has given us the right to choose and how we have to be careful about the consequences of our decisions....

And everything you said is true. I choose life. I choose to please the Lord...and if I were to act upon my flesh in this way, I would not please Him. It has always been important for me to please my Lord....

I need to send you a love offering! I send you my love and appreciation for taking the time to read and respond in divine love and wisdom....

Thank you!

 

[Shimmie]

Wow, Shimmie.... sigh.... you covered so much.... Why was yesterday's sermon about the power of decision and how God has given us the right to choose and how we have to be careful about the consequences of our decisions....

And everything you said is true. I choose life. I choose to please the Lord...and if I were to act upon my flesh in this way, I would not please Him. It has always been important for me to please my Lord....

I need to send you a love offering!

I send you my love and appreciation for taking the time to read and respond in divine love and wisdom....

Thank you!

Oh Lord, "Rehab". Have I not arisen enough 'Drama-Rama' in this here forum? Can you hear it now?..."Shimmie's now taking money on the "Christian Forum"... The "OT's will have a 'hay-day' with this one. The mods will have triple work with all the 'Drama-Rama' posts pouring in.

'Rehab", you have such a pure and sweet heart. The devil is just 'taunting' you for being a good "Daddie's little girl". For this you truly are. AND you Chose...yes darlin' you chose. And in so chosing, God honors and blesses you with your harvest of love and marriage.

Lovely one, I receive your love and appreciation with more coming right back at you from my heart to yours.

No other offering needed...just love.

 

[punchinella]

I think that a lot of people take advantage of the fact that GOD will forgive you. That does not mean that you have a license to sin just because you will be forgiven. Sometimes I just have to look at people when they tell me stuff because I am thinking how does that line up with the word? You know what your relationship with GOD is and what you want it to be, so stay true to GOD and yourself and don't let anyone change your values. GOD Bless you.

 

[firecracker]

Please rebuke that madness. Just because someone else chooses to live foul and disobediant doesn't give them the right to encourage your journey to hell along with them. It's like a druggie giving a sober person their first hit. I feel your pain. I have been down that road. I realized the person that advised me had no real relationship with God so their advice meant nothing. Yes God is forgiving but uh how about your conscience will eat you alive and you would be blocking your true blessing. I know it's hard at times being a virgin or celibate but try to look at the bigger picture. Good luck and stay pure. "No More Sheets" is great for those times when you feel really weak.

 

[firecracker]

Oh Lord, "Rehab". Have I not arisen enough 'Drama-Rama' in this here forum? Can you hear it now?..."Shimmie's now taking money on the "Christian Forum"... The "OT's will have a 'hay-day' with this one. The mods will have triple work with all the 'Drama-Rama' posts pouring in.

Here we go again You are forever trying to bring decisiveness on a board that has been here long before you showed up. Stop breaking the forum rules and stop trying to label folks cuz they don't bow to your nonsense. I'm PM'ing Bev asap. Cuz I know your lil so called protector is going to remove my truthful response. Their is no me against us but your trying your best to make it that way. Go head Pebs. I am coping this thread and response this is getting to be too much.

 

[firecracker]

edited by Beverly

whathadhappenedwuz? LOL

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL..
THANKS, SHIMMIE...

GOSH, MY HEART HURTS..THIS WAS SO ON POINT..

 

[Shimmie]

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL..
THANKS, SHIMMIE...

GOSH, MY HEART HURTS..THIS WAS SO ON POINT..

We all have a beautiful value that God has blessed us with. Look at something else the Lord has shown me.

There was a point in my life when I was having a very hard time and this is one of the ways, the Lord helped me through it.

He showed me that it was 'harder' to live through the conviction of 'yielding' (giving in) to having pre-martial sex, than it was not to yield (give in) to the temptation. I hope I explained this right. Basically, dealing with the consequences is harder than being celibate.

He showed me something else.

Men really do appreciate women who wait.

God bless you, beautiful.

 

[MissYocairis]

Edited by Beverly

 

[UmSumayyah]

I think that some people who commit sins want to see others do the same so they won't feel so bad themselves. In a culture where non-marital, casual sex is seen as normal, it's easy to feel like celibacy is some kind of unattainable goal or unrealistic practice.
When someone comes along that is celibate, it tends to bother some people. I know that in college the fact that I was a virgin and was not at all upset about it, NAY! content about it bothered some people. And trust, I was not going around announcing it and doing the cabbage patch.

 

[cocoberry10]

Ok... here's the story:

I was lamenting to my goddaughter's mother yesterday about my current status as an unmarried person and not (ever) sexually active and yet I am struggling somewhat in my spiritual walk.... This has been the toughest struggle of my life to the point where I wanted to walk away from the Lord and take matters into my own hands concerning my sexual status. I've been in church my whole life and never really hung out and all that.... Part of me feels like I'm entitled.... That's another tangent....

Anyway, I was just talking the aforementioned junk and my goddaughter's mother said "Well God will forgive you" if I made the conscious decision to have sex outside of marriage. This is not the first time she's said this to me. Whenever she says this, it sort of stops me in my tracks... It's like WHY would she say this? Fornication goes completely against the Word of God (that I already know anyway) and I know that God will forgive me, which way in the back of my mind kind of gives me some encouragement go on ahead. I've asked her why she says this and I don't recall getting a straight answer....

Does this happen to others--either as the one who is being told? How do you respond?

I totally understand where you are coming from. My situation is a lot like yours. I have always been the good girl, not really getting into trouble or doing bad things, and like you I haven't had sex yet (I'm in my early/mid 20's). At times I also think that I want to take matters into my own hands, but God always shows me in the end why none of the guys I've met to date have been worth my body.

I also think it's really critical for you to get with people who can encourage you, and not discourage your choice. I've never been overly judgmental of my friends that didn't choose to remain celibate until marriage, and I expect that same respect from people with my choices. Being around people who discourage you in any way (whether it's a job prospect, going back to school, etc.) will always be your stumbling block in my humble opinion.

I have found a lot of women on this forum to be highly encouraging, but we are all in cyberspace, so I say just meet friends who can at least respect your values. You don't have to throw out the old friends (unless God tells you to), just make new ones.

 

[kally]

Shimmie that was powerful. I too have choosen to remain celibant. Now I must say once you discover you have been used for sex. It really hurts and wakes you up. I guess I was afraid that there was no man out there willing to wait, but then I now see that if this is a Man sent from God then he will love me enough to respect my wishes and also remain celibant himself.

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie that was powerful. I too have choosen to remain celibant. Now I must say once you discover you have been used for sex. It really hurts and wakes you up. I guess I was afraid that there was no man out there willing to wait, but then I now see that if this is a Man sent from God then he will love me enough to respect my wishes and also remain celibant himself.

It's so true Kally. I've been used for sex and it really does hurt...it hurts alot. So another reason I have to 'wait' until marriage is I'd rather 'hurt' waiting, than to hurt from being used.

We should get together and make up a "Wait List" until marriage .

Example: The reason, I chose to wait is .......

That sounds like fun and then we can print it out and post it.

Mine would be:

"I choose to wait, because I'd rather have "Forever" than the 'hurt' of now."

What do you think?

 

[14got]

Wow shimmie
that's beautiful

 

[Shimmie]

Wow shimmie
that's beautiful

You're so sweet, Kei

My OTHER secret..."The Fluidity Bar"

I'm so busy with our new exercise routines on the Ballet Barre, I don't have the time or the strength to get into trouble...

God knows how to keep us. Now I can understand a little more His word, "For He who is able to keep you from falling, will continue to do so until the day of Jesus Christ." Hmmmm, He's been keeping me real busy...

 

[Southernbella.]

I also think it's really critical for you to get with people who can encourage you, and not discourage your choice. I've never been overly judgmental of my friends that didn't choose to remain celibate until marriage, and I expect that same respect from people with my choices. Being around people who discourage you in any way (whether it's a job prospect, going back to school, etc.) will always be your stumbling block in my humble opinion.

That is so true!

RR, I think your was half right. God WILL forgive you, but she forgot to add, ..."But you will reap the consequences".

My dh and I were celibate for years before getting engaged. Once engaged, we sort of...lost our minds for a minute. Thankfully, with lots of prayer, we got back on track and God did forgive us, but we had to reap for the sin.

I think your friend was probably trying to be supportive, but she may not realize she's not helping the situation. You absolutely need people in your life who will hold you accountable and support you in what you're trying to do.

 

[PaperClip]

Checkin' in....

I appreciate your supportive responses and encouraging words. Many of you advised to get around people who support my choices, and I agree with this. Unfortunately, the majority of folks in my life do not "have to" be celibate because they are married. A few of them have been through divorces.... The virgins I know are like at least a decade YOUNGER than me (so they're in the 20s!!! Do the math! ). I don't want to be the female 40-year-old virgin (Wow, that's really putting it out there!!!!!)

I've hung on this long.... I just feel like time is running out.... I really need a breakthrough....

 

[Shimmie]

Checkin' in....

I appreciate your supportive responses and encouraging words. Many of you advised to get around people who support my choices, and I agree with this. Unfortunately, the majority of folks in my life do not "have to" be celibate because they are married. A few of them have been through divorces.... The virgins I know are like at least a decade YOUNGER than me (so they're in the 20s!!! Do the math! ). I don't want to be the female 40-year-old virgin (Wow, that's really putting it out there!!!!!)

I've hung on this long.... I just feel like time is running out.... I really need a breakthrough....

"Precious One"... have you not read, "Shimmie holds the record."

 

[PaperClip]

"Precious One"... have you not read, "Shimmie holds the record."

I don't know, Shimmie.... Let me do the math in my head (I mean a piece of paper!).... Ok... according to your number and my age, I certainly wasn't thinking about/waiting for sex at age 13.... So you may have me beat!

Thank you for making me laugh today!

 

[BabeinChrist]

I've hung on this long.... I just feel like time is running out.... I really need a breakthrough....

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

 

[PaperClip]

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

AAAHHHH!!!!! NO MORE CLICHES!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Hear my heart, BabeinChrist.... I know that that's the Word. And I have seen and quoted and recited this scripture over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... I believe that God's Word is true.... This latest valley experience/test/trial has zapped a lot of out me spiritually so that I have lost how to reconnect with God's Word.... I've been waiting... (maybe not as long as Shimmie ) but I think the difference between me and Shimmie is the EXPOSURE.... She has been, I have not.... So then it's like, how can I miss/desire what I've never had? It must be a (godly) desire that I did not originate.... so would God give me a (godly) desire and not the (godly) means to fulfill it?

 

[BabeinChrist]

AAAHHHH!!!!! NO MORE CLICHES!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Hear my heart, BabeinChrist.... I know that that's the Word. And I have seen and quoted and recited this scripture over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... I believe that God's Word is true.... This latest valley experience/test/trial has zapped a lot of out me spiritually so that I have lost how to reconnect with God's Word.... I've been waiting... (maybe not as long as Shimmie ) but I think the difference between me and Shimmie is the EXPOSURE.... She has been, I have not.... So then it's like, how can I miss/desire what I've never had? It must be a (godly) desire that I did not originate.... so would God give me a (godly) desire and not the (godly) means to fulfill it?

I didn't mean any harm by posting that, Relaxer and I'm sorry if it brought you extra grief instead of comfort. I don't believe that God has given you this desire without the means to fulfill it, but I do think there is a purpose in your wait.

I know what it's like to feel like God is ignoring you or forgotten about you, but I want to remind you that this simply isn't true.

 

[PaperClip]

I didn't mean any harm by posting that, Relaxer and I'm sorry if it brought you extra grief instead of comfort. I don't believe that God has given you this desire without the means to fulfill it, but I do think there is a purpose in your wait.

I know what it's like to feel like God is ignoring you or forgotten about you, but I want to remind you that this simply isn't true.

I know you didn't... and thank you for you being strong enough to deal w/my rant.... I do feel real forgotten in this area right now....

 

[Shimmie]

AAAHHHH!!!!! NO MORE CLICHES!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Hear my heart, BabeinChrist.... I know that that's the Word. And I have seen and quoted and recited this scripture over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... I believe that God's Word is true.... This latest valley experience/test/trial has zapped a lot of out me spiritually so that I have lost how to reconnect with God's Word.... I've been waiting...

(maybe not as long as Shimmie ) but I think the difference between me and Shimmie is the EXPOSURE.... She has been, I have not.... So then it's like, how can I miss/desire what I've never had? It must be a (godly) desire that I did not originate.... so would God give me a (godly) desire and not the (godly) means to fulfill it?

"Rehab"... I've forgotten. Actually to the point where I have no remembrance of what it's like... I'll need both classes and glasses...when that time comes again.

Something else...your wait is so special. So very, very special. Nothing to fret over, angel. Nothing.

For God did allow these feelings in us to be as a 'sign' that His fulfillment for them is coming upon us in 'due season.' Think about, right now your future husband is having the same feelings that you are having, until God brings the two of you together as one.

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. For whom God has joined together, let no man put assunder."

Yes, angel. For this cause, Your 'wait' is very special, indeed.

To God be all the Glory, forever and ever... Amen.

For this cause...

 

[cocoberry10]

AAAHHHH!!!!! NO MORE CLICHES!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Hear my heart, BabeinChrist.... I know that that's the Word. And I have seen and quoted and recited this scripture over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... I believe that God's Word is true.... This latest valley experience/test/trial has zapped a lot of out me spiritually so that I have lost how to reconnect with God's Word.... I've been waiting... (maybe not as long as Shimmie ) but I think the difference between me and Shimmie is the EXPOSURE.... She has been, I have not.... So then it's like, how can I miss/desire what I've never had? It must be a (godly) desire that I did not originate.... so would God give me a (godly) desire and not the (godly) means to fulfill it?

I won't give you a biblical cliche, but I will give you "food for thought." So often, when we are on the cusp of what God is going to deliver, Satan is right there trying to deter us, distract us, and of course destroy God's blessings.

My guess would be that you are so close to meeting someone who may be that special someone, and Satan knows you are "hungry," so he's trying to fill you with an appetizer, instead of letting you enjoy God's meal. Let me give an analogy, since I'm better at that.

Let's say you were on your way to a really nice steak dinner, but the restaurant was an hour away, and you were really starving. You are so hungry you could eat a house. Well, on your way, you see all kinds of fast food restaurants. McDonald's, etc. You could stop and get a quick cheeseburger to "tide yourself over," but that grade D meat would NEVER compare to the Grade A steak you were on your way to enjoy. And worse, by the time you get to the steak restaurant, your appetite may not even be as strong as it was (if you didn't have that cheap burger). That's how I think it is with God. So many times when God has been in the midst of blessing me, something negative overcomes me, and often I have no idea where it comes from. But if I just trust, and press on, He delivers! ALWAYS!

Sorry for the long post, but I hope this helps!

 

[Shimmie]

I won't give you a biblical cliche, but I will give you "food for thought." So often, when we are on the cusp of what God is going to deliver, Satan is right there trying to deter us, distract us, and of course destroy God's blessings.

My guess would be that you are so close to meeting someone who may be that special someone, and Satan knows you are "hungry," so he's trying to fill you with an appetizer, instead of letting you enjoy God's meal. Let me give an analogy, since I'm better at that.

Let's say you were on your way to a really nice steak dinner, but the restaurant was an hour away, and you were really starving. You are so hungry you could eat a house. Well, on your way, you see all kinds of fast food restaurants. McDonald's, etc. You could stop and get a quick cheeseburger to "tide yourself over," but that grade D meat would NEVER compare to the Grade A steak you were on your way to enjoy. And worse, by the time you get to the steak restaurant, your appetite may not even be as strong as it was (if you didn't have that cheap burger). That's how I think it is with God. So many times when God has been in the midst of blessing me, something negative overcomes me, and often I have no idea where it comes from. But if I just trust, and press on, He delivers! ALWAYS!

Sorry for the long post, but I hope this helps!

Cocoberry, this...is...BEAUTIFUL! And how it so blesses me. Even though I don't eat steak, I'd rather have it than McDonald's grade D meat.

Amen to you girl! AMEN!!! Go head..."Steak Dinner" ... I like that alot.

God bless you Ms. Analogy...Actually Ms. Parable...

((( Hugs )))