Why do we get so passionate about Weaves?
- Thread starter Eyvonne7131
- Start date
ms_kenesha
New Member
<font color="red"> I also wanted to agree and add with what Lucia said, but depending on how you look (read light skinned) no one questions as to whether your hair is yours (I mean unless they saw you the day before with shorter hair). I personally for prom had a weave that was mid-back and no one who didn't know me thought it was anything but my hair. I took a job that summer at my local amusement park and everyone who didn't know me would refer to me as the girl with the back length hair. But I was quick to tell people it wasn't mine. My best friend was like why do you keep telling people it's a weave. I told her I wasn't trying to fool anyone & I wanted to let people know don't assume 'ish! /images/graemlins/smirk.gif </font color>
Tracy
New Member
Iggy Baby! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Hermanita - big hugs and grins. /images/graemlins/cool.gif I'm glad you feel I represented our position accurately. As an African American Latina, I wonder sometimes if my perspective as related to "our" experiences is unique. So many of us identify with either one or the other with so much passion that it's often hard to know how those who identify with all of their heritage feel. I'm glad I'm not alone on this. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Gracias m'ija for your support. /images/graemlins/smile.gif It's good to know I'm not just dangling in the wind.... /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Hermanita - big hugs and grins. /images/graemlins/cool.gif I'm glad you feel I represented our position accurately. As an African American Latina, I wonder sometimes if my perspective as related to "our" experiences is unique. So many of us identify with either one or the other with so much passion that it's often hard to know how those who identify with all of their heritage feel. I'm glad I'm not alone on this. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Gracias m'ija for your support. /images/graemlins/smile.gif It's good to know I'm not just dangling in the wind.... /images/graemlins/grin.gif
sassygirl125
Professional PJ
Waaaay off topic, but:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Calling us HISPANICS, and "The Dominicans"
[/ QUOTE ]
What do we call them? I'm not trying get smart--I sincerely want to know. I've put my foot in my mouth more than once. One friend calls herself Chicana and hates the term Latina. She says, "I ain't Latin!" Another friend would cut the first person that called her Chicana. She calls herself Mexican. They are both what I call Mexican-American--grandparents born in Mexico, everybody else born in the states.
My ex is Puerto Rican and he called himself Hispanic...
His sister married a dark skinned Cuban and he calls himself black!
/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
I wanna be politically correct--help! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Calling us HISPANICS, and "The Dominicans"
[/ QUOTE ]
What do we call them? I'm not trying get smart--I sincerely want to know. I've put my foot in my mouth more than once. One friend calls herself Chicana and hates the term Latina. She says, "I ain't Latin!" Another friend would cut the first person that called her Chicana. She calls herself Mexican. They are both what I call Mexican-American--grandparents born in Mexico, everybody else born in the states.
My ex is Puerto Rican and he called himself Hispanic...
His sister married a dark skinned Cuban and he calls himself black!
/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
I wanna be politically correct--help! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Tracy
New Member
Sassy,
I can't say we ain't complicated (as much so as the differences between African American's, Afro-Caribbean's etc...) - /images/graemlins/smile.gif and I can't speak for all Latinos in this regard (cuz your Mexican friend is right - she isn't really Latin culturally - she's probably more Indian - Aztec and Mayan etc... but that's a whole historical thing....) - but I prefer to be referred to either by my nationality - Dominican - minus a "the" which turns me liguistically speaking from being a person into being a "thing", or as a Latina.
As far as how to refer to different nationalities - it safer to avoid it altogether. Finding another way to identify the person aside from their "Spanishness" is always the safest bet. Think about it: would you rather be a the girl with the red shirt on, or the tall woman, or the woman with the nice curves? Or the "The Black Girl" or the "African American Woman" or "The Colored Girl". Is that all we are as black women? Black? Are we not mothers, sisters, teachers, lawyers and friends...and more? Why are we not identified by THOSE things as often. We seem to use these terms to categorize; to establish a sense of separation. It is this that I take exception to. I object less to the terminology than I do to the objectifying mindset that goes along with it.
If you want to know more about it we can take it to the OT board - because it is complicated - I'll give you that. But there are no steadfast rules... the point here would be mostly: think of us as people with a culture and a history and sensitivities as rich and deep and far reaching as African Americans. That's all I ask.
I appreciate that you care though. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
I can't say we ain't complicated (as much so as the differences between African American's, Afro-Caribbean's etc...) - /images/graemlins/smile.gif and I can't speak for all Latinos in this regard (cuz your Mexican friend is right - she isn't really Latin culturally - she's probably more Indian - Aztec and Mayan etc... but that's a whole historical thing....) - but I prefer to be referred to either by my nationality - Dominican - minus a "the" which turns me liguistically speaking from being a person into being a "thing", or as a Latina.
As far as how to refer to different nationalities - it safer to avoid it altogether. Finding another way to identify the person aside from their "Spanishness" is always the safest bet. Think about it: would you rather be a the girl with the red shirt on, or the tall woman, or the woman with the nice curves? Or the "The Black Girl" or the "African American Woman" or "The Colored Girl". Is that all we are as black women? Black? Are we not mothers, sisters, teachers, lawyers and friends...and more? Why are we not identified by THOSE things as often. We seem to use these terms to categorize; to establish a sense of separation. It is this that I take exception to. I object less to the terminology than I do to the objectifying mindset that goes along with it.
If you want to know more about it we can take it to the OT board - because it is complicated - I'll give you that. But there are no steadfast rules... the point here would be mostly: think of us as people with a culture and a history and sensitivities as rich and deep and far reaching as African Americans. That's all I ask.
I appreciate that you care though. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Tracy, now you know i would never say anything to berate you.. I just wanted to let you know that before i started.
Well, I am half puerto rican myself, my father is of black and Indian puerto rican descent. I just said those things about J Lo, because (other than the fact i find it quite funny, but she has forgotten her community and people .. i worked at kips bay boys and Girls Club in my teen years and when she blew up and she never once came back until recently.) My hispanic family holds her up on a pedestal. They look at her with her added hair extensions and will NEVER comment on that, but as soon as a black girl walks by with long hair they'll say that "oh that's not hers, black people have no hair" .. i'm sorry but i have always found fault with that kind of thinking, no matter WHO it comes from.
Since my mom is black, i have two different perspectives to learn from. I often hear my hispanic family talk of those "ugly black girls who have no hair"... negras, not Negritas, pero negras, which is a negative term. They look at me and think that i have "malo pelo" because my mom is black and all kinds of negative bad things, and the sad part is THEY are of black descent themselves!!!!
that's the only reason i said what i did about J.lo. It seriously bothers me knowing that Beyonce (which is the only "black" girl my father's side of the family thinks is pretty) is criticized and J.lo is put on a pedestal. What they knock Beyonce for, they won't even THINK about woth J.lo... they are celebrities, but this happens commonly amongst my family.
Luckily my father does not think this way. I didn't even know the "difference" between me and my other cousins until his family pointed it out.
Well, I am half puerto rican myself, my father is of black and Indian puerto rican descent. I just said those things about J Lo, because (other than the fact i find it quite funny, but she has forgotten her community and people .. i worked at kips bay boys and Girls Club in my teen years and when she blew up and she never once came back until recently.) My hispanic family holds her up on a pedestal. They look at her with her added hair extensions and will NEVER comment on that, but as soon as a black girl walks by with long hair they'll say that "oh that's not hers, black people have no hair" .. i'm sorry but i have always found fault with that kind of thinking, no matter WHO it comes from.
Since my mom is black, i have two different perspectives to learn from. I often hear my hispanic family talk of those "ugly black girls who have no hair"... negras, not Negritas, pero negras, which is a negative term. They look at me and think that i have "malo pelo" because my mom is black and all kinds of negative bad things, and the sad part is THEY are of black descent themselves!!!!
that's the only reason i said what i did about J.lo. It seriously bothers me knowing that Beyonce (which is the only "black" girl my father's side of the family thinks is pretty) is criticized and J.lo is put on a pedestal. What they knock Beyonce for, they won't even THINK about woth J.lo... they are celebrities, but this happens commonly amongst my family.
Luckily my father does not think this way. I didn't even know the "difference" between me and my other cousins until his family pointed it out.
Kitkat
Active Member
Hi Tracy,
I feel badly that you're offended by the manner in which Latinas are discussed on this site. I think we have all tried to be respectful of differences, racial and otherwise, and have tried to make this a comfortable warm forum within which to post our views. And I appreciate your stating your differences in the respectful way that you have, which is what I love about this board. I will admit that I'm not certain after reading your post what is the correct way to refer to people of Latin descent. I always thought that 'Hispanic' was an appropriate term that encompassed all such races, as opposed to the truly ignorant things that I've heard in New York. For example, I have heard many people in New York referring to everyone and anyone 'Hispanic' as Puerto Rican. Yes, NY has a large Puerto Rican population, but not everyone who speaks Spanish is Puerto Rican.
I don't agree with you that we are lumping people together by referring to them as, ie, 'Dominicans'. I'll admit I never heard of Dominican salons till I joined this board. Is the issue that these salons are not run by Dominican women? If they are Dominican, I'm not sure I understand the issue you take with this (and I'd like to, sweetie, which is the reason I'm posting this long rambling response). You mentioned that it would be offensive for others to refer to black stylists as 'the Black girls'. But many of us (especially in NY) who get our hair braided commonly refer to 'the African women' because these women have a stronghold on the braid market here. I might not know where many of them are from - I have encountered mainly Senegalese women - but I don't think that it's offensive to say 'the African women', because the fact of the matter is many of them indeed hail from Africa. Naturally, these women aren't the ONLY Black women who braid hair in NY. But, as I said, they have a decided stronghold on the braid industry here in NYC.
I don't want to stray too far from the original point of this post. Tracy, you are right to say that many of us are indeed haters when it comes to seeing women with long hair. Some of us are indeed guilty of doing the things that you mentioned. I do think that we are our own worst enemy. So what if a woman is wearing a weave? I braid my hair occasionally, so who am I to rag on someone for adding hair when it's so obvious that I've done the same? You're right that we need to change our way of thinking before we assail others for ridiculing us for wearing weaves.
I do take exception to other posters joining this board and proceeding to lob personal attacks against others. I think we can all respectfully agree to disagree when necessary without subjecting one another to the attacks that KeyLargo suffered.
Just my .02.
I feel badly that you're offended by the manner in which Latinas are discussed on this site. I think we have all tried to be respectful of differences, racial and otherwise, and have tried to make this a comfortable warm forum within which to post our views. And I appreciate your stating your differences in the respectful way that you have, which is what I love about this board. I will admit that I'm not certain after reading your post what is the correct way to refer to people of Latin descent. I always thought that 'Hispanic' was an appropriate term that encompassed all such races, as opposed to the truly ignorant things that I've heard in New York. For example, I have heard many people in New York referring to everyone and anyone 'Hispanic' as Puerto Rican. Yes, NY has a large Puerto Rican population, but not everyone who speaks Spanish is Puerto Rican.
I don't agree with you that we are lumping people together by referring to them as, ie, 'Dominicans'. I'll admit I never heard of Dominican salons till I joined this board. Is the issue that these salons are not run by Dominican women? If they are Dominican, I'm not sure I understand the issue you take with this (and I'd like to, sweetie, which is the reason I'm posting this long rambling response). You mentioned that it would be offensive for others to refer to black stylists as 'the Black girls'. But many of us (especially in NY) who get our hair braided commonly refer to 'the African women' because these women have a stronghold on the braid market here. I might not know where many of them are from - I have encountered mainly Senegalese women - but I don't think that it's offensive to say 'the African women', because the fact of the matter is many of them indeed hail from Africa. Naturally, these women aren't the ONLY Black women who braid hair in NY. But, as I said, they have a decided stronghold on the braid industry here in NYC.
I don't want to stray too far from the original point of this post. Tracy, you are right to say that many of us are indeed haters when it comes to seeing women with long hair. Some of us are indeed guilty of doing the things that you mentioned. I do think that we are our own worst enemy. So what if a woman is wearing a weave? I braid my hair occasionally, so who am I to rag on someone for adding hair when it's so obvious that I've done the same? You're right that we need to change our way of thinking before we assail others for ridiculing us for wearing weaves.
I do take exception to other posters joining this board and proceeding to lob personal attacks against others. I think we can all respectfully agree to disagree when necessary without subjecting one another to the attacks that KeyLargo suffered.
Just my .02.
Kitkat
Active Member
Tracy, I just read your recent post (I started writing my response hours earlier, went out, returned and hit 'post'). /images/graemlins/blush.gif I was so bent on responding to this post that I committed the ultimate sin - I didn't read the most recent posts before I weighed in!!
I do hear what you're saying, and again I'm glad that you always post your views in a way that respects differences. I always enjoy your pearls of wisdom (I'm sure I speak for many women here), so if we can understand better ways to relate to one another, I'm all for it. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
I do hear what you're saying, and again I'm glad that you always post your views in a way that respects differences. I always enjoy your pearls of wisdom (I'm sure I speak for many women here), so if we can understand better ways to relate to one another, I'm all for it. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
bubbles718
New Member
Hello all. My name is Bubbles. And I wear weaves.
Weaves date all the way back to Ancient Kemet (Egypt). They are apart of African Civilization. Be proud!
Keylargo, you must think are the stuff becuase you are lightskinned with hair down to your waist. Whatever. Are you sure its yours...or is there a bald horse in your 'hood?
Black men and all men say hurtful things. But it hurts the black woman especially when her brothers say hurtful things about her. If you are lightskinned, then you need to open your eyes, black men might not have said any mean things to you coz you are lightskinned and you have long hair. That is what black men want, and if you are not that then you are not it for most black men, and if you don't know that, you better ask somebody.
I love black men. I adore them. I crave them, but becuase of the instituion of slavery in America, the black man has been thrown into the wrong perspective. His ideas of beauty are not his own. Light-skinned lovlies are the product of the rape and abuse of a people.
Lady, who has been hurt by the words of her brothers..keep doing you, don't worry about those men, you are probably too good for them anyway. Those are probably the same men who will run straight to a white ho or a light skinned heifer and you don't want them anyway.
Weaves...I love them, ...who the hell wants to comb, wash and curl their hair everyday? its not good for your hair to do all that everyday, anyway.
LONG LIVE THE WEAVE!!!!
WEAVES FOR US ALL HURRAY!!!!!
--BUBBLES...the blue powerpuff
Weaves date all the way back to Ancient Kemet (Egypt). They are apart of African Civilization. Be proud!
Keylargo, you must think are the stuff becuase you are lightskinned with hair down to your waist. Whatever. Are you sure its yours...or is there a bald horse in your 'hood?
Black men and all men say hurtful things. But it hurts the black woman especially when her brothers say hurtful things about her. If you are lightskinned, then you need to open your eyes, black men might not have said any mean things to you coz you are lightskinned and you have long hair. That is what black men want, and if you are not that then you are not it for most black men, and if you don't know that, you better ask somebody.
I love black men. I adore them. I crave them, but becuase of the instituion of slavery in America, the black man has been thrown into the wrong perspective. His ideas of beauty are not his own. Light-skinned lovlies are the product of the rape and abuse of a people.
Lady, who has been hurt by the words of her brothers..keep doing you, don't worry about those men, you are probably too good for them anyway. Those are probably the same men who will run straight to a white ho or a light skinned heifer and you don't want them anyway.
Weaves...I love them, ...who the hell wants to comb, wash and curl their hair everyday? its not good for your hair to do all that everyday, anyway.
LONG LIVE THE WEAVE!!!!
WEAVES FOR US ALL HURRAY!!!!!
--BUBBLES...the blue powerpuff
bubbles718
New Member
SORRY ALLL THAT WAS DIRECTED TO CALISTA
A
AmilLion
Guest
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
AmilLion,
What type of business do you run on the side?
[/ QUOTE ]
My friends and I we rent out clubs, throw parties and different events throughout the tri-state area.
Tracy, I feel you. But lets all remember this is not a PERFECT WORLD. People will always have their opinions of each other. I know girls that have more of a complex regarding my complexion than I do. I get snarls, but you know what, PEOPLE will always have their opinion. If that's regarding your complexion, your hair, your accent, or the way you speak.
But guess what, I'll be that light skin chick to some that thinks she's all that, or the one that's "less" of a woman because I have shorter than some. But you know what? I love me. I got people around me that love me and care for me. That's all I need. They can keep it moving with the negative comments.
AmilLion,
What type of business do you run on the side?
[/ QUOTE ]
My friends and I we rent out clubs, throw parties and different events throughout the tri-state area.
Tracy, I feel you. But lets all remember this is not a PERFECT WORLD. People will always have their opinions of each other. I know girls that have more of a complex regarding my complexion than I do. I get snarls, but you know what, PEOPLE will always have their opinion. If that's regarding your complexion, your hair, your accent, or the way you speak.
But guess what, I'll be that light skin chick to some that thinks she's all that, or the one that's "less" of a woman because I have shorter than some. But you know what? I love me. I got people around me that love me and care for me. That's all I need. They can keep it moving with the negative comments.
Tracy
New Member
Beana - I know where your coming from girl. And I can feel you. We can take our discussion to the OT board - I think it's too OT for here (sorry for changing the tone of the thread y'all) but know that I can appreciate your perspective and I appreciate you explaining it. I wasn't meaning to call you out either (tho I did, and I apologize - but I was shocked - I get you now - we'll discuss it some more).
KitKat - Thank you Mama. I'm glad you understood. It means a lot that the people that know me on the board understand my point. And I agree that it's complicated. Join me on OT. I'll try my best to make some sense of it - both to me and to you.
Bubbles....
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Those are probably the same men who will run straight to a white ho or a light skinned heifer and you don't want them anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
YOU'RE KILLING ME. You had a decent point but it got lost in your venom and hatred. Bring it down girl. Trust you me - all those "white hos" and "light skinned heifers" don't give a damn about you. No need to care so deeply about them . It's a waste of your time and energy. Whether that post was too Calista or Keylargo - it was base. And small. And I hope you are able to grow up soon. You'll never fly with all those chips on your shoulders. They're too heavy. Lay 'em down.
KitKat - Thank you Mama. I'm glad you understood. It means a lot that the people that know me on the board understand my point. And I agree that it's complicated. Join me on OT. I'll try my best to make some sense of it - both to me and to you.
Bubbles....
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Those are probably the same men who will run straight to a white ho or a light skinned heifer and you don't want them anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
YOU'RE KILLING ME. You had a decent point but it got lost in your venom and hatred. Bring it down girl. Trust you me - all those "white hos" and "light skinned heifers" don't give a damn about you. No need to care so deeply about them . It's a waste of your time and energy. Whether that post was too Calista or Keylargo - it was base. And small. And I hope you are able to grow up soon. You'll never fly with all those chips on your shoulders. They're too heavy. Lay 'em down.
Tracy
New Member
Amillion,
I see where you coming from - and it's wonderful that you have had that network of people who have made you feel the way you do. I understand because I have that too. And I understand we don't all have it and sometimes that's the source of the pain that creates the kind of behaviour you mentioned.
But I posted what I did here because for the most part (though I gotta wonder these days I swear) we are a pretty tight knit group that repsects and cares about eachothers point of view. The purpose of my post was to express my feelings but most of all to teach . We can't ever know where we might be off if no one tells us. And I feel comfortable enough with most of the ladies here (including yourself) to post on what I feel is an issue that should be addressed. Whenever we discuss this issue we end up talking about "other" women. I just think we need to focus more on our own shortcomings and let God deal with any issues "other" women might have about our hair. We have enough of our own. And together we can resolve them. If we try. My post was about me extending my hand - as someone with another perspective - to try. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
I do hope that came across.
And I thank you for your response. I feel you sis.
I see where you coming from - and it's wonderful that you have had that network of people who have made you feel the way you do. I understand because I have that too. And I understand we don't all have it and sometimes that's the source of the pain that creates the kind of behaviour you mentioned.
But I posted what I did here because for the most part (though I gotta wonder these days I swear) we are a pretty tight knit group that repsects and cares about eachothers point of view. The purpose of my post was to express my feelings but most of all to teach . We can't ever know where we might be off if no one tells us. And I feel comfortable enough with most of the ladies here (including yourself) to post on what I feel is an issue that should be addressed. Whenever we discuss this issue we end up talking about "other" women. I just think we need to focus more on our own shortcomings and let God deal with any issues "other" women might have about our hair. We have enough of our own. And together we can resolve them. If we try. My post was about me extending my hand - as someone with another perspective - to try. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
I do hope that came across.
And I thank you for your response. I feel you sis.
LuvableLady
New Member
I don’t care when I visit this board, there is always a heated discussion regarding race going and somehow I always click on them without even trying. Let me just say that you are all beautiful. God created you and you don’t need to feel like you are less then anyone as a person. I think people of color (this includes anyone not 100% Caucasian) are the most beautiful people in the world and I’m not just saying this because I happen to be a person of color, I honestly believe this and would feel the same if I were not. There are more Caucasians in the world (over 80% of the US population is Caucasian, give or take 5%) so things are more focused and geared towards them simply because there are more of them, however, that doesn’t make us less important or less then anybody, only in the numbers are we less, NOT in the individual person as we are equal as people simply because we are all people. Businesses market to where the money is and since there are more Caucasians (way, way, way, way, way, more) sometimes I think some of us feel that we aren’t beautiful or lack something because we feel we look different then the average person with the average person being Caucasian. People of color are not average people, we’re special people. Trust me we don’t lack anything!
Regarding weaves, if you like them, I love them. Do what you want to with your hair as it’s on your head. I never question someone’s hair as that’s childish and rude, in my opinion. Perhaps I’m to old for this board, I didn’t think I was that old but I feel so entirely old when I read some of these things because I can’t relate to such things at my age as they make no difference to me. I felt this way about fake hair and this light skin, dark skin, good hair, bad hair, crap when I was in High School many, many, many years ago before I knew better. I guess I’m old now but trust me, this is the best time of my life, the day I freed myself of these types of thinking was the best day of my life! It’s great.
Regarding weaves, if you like them, I love them. Do what you want to with your hair as it’s on your head. I never question someone’s hair as that’s childish and rude, in my opinion. Perhaps I’m to old for this board, I didn’t think I was that old but I feel so entirely old when I read some of these things because I can’t relate to such things at my age as they make no difference to me. I felt this way about fake hair and this light skin, dark skin, good hair, bad hair, crap when I was in High School many, many, many years ago before I knew better. I guess I’m old now but trust me, this is the best time of my life, the day I freed myself of these types of thinking was the best day of my life! It’s great.
VALLEYGIRL
New Member
I HATE WEAVES
OK I realize that everyone is not going to like what I have to say but I am going to say it anyway.
Black women dont believe we can grow long hair so they opt for a quick fix which contributes to the problem. I read an article a long time ago in Vibe magazine about all the bad things that long term use of weaves and braids do to your hair. Ever noticed how some girls wear weaves for such long periods of time and their hair never seems to grow? Apart from the damage that the tight braiding or bonding does to the hair and scalp, the hair that is used to make weaves (both synthetic and human) are processed with all kinds of chemicals that ruin our hair and the follicle. I wondered why this info wasnt published in other sources but someone explained to me that the hair weave extension industry is a million dollar one (including advertising dollars) If people knew the damage it did the industry would suffer. I dont believe that people would stop adding extensions to their hair b/c of the joy they get with having long hair they can have immediately. But I do believe that prolonged wearing of weaves along with overuse of relaxers, heat styling tools and everything else we do to get our hair to do something it was not naturally intended to do causes major damage and stunted hair growth. I am not implying that it is wrong to use these things, I have done all of the above. But as with anything in life moderation is key. For some of us it is a styling option, a way to change things up a bit but a lot of us get hooked on weaves and then wonder why our own hair wont grow.
This is quoted from another board:
I've been doing weaves for years and you'll never see me with out one. My request in my Will is to bury me in a deep water wave weave style #2 length 12.
This is what I am talking about. Many black women have this mentality.
To side with Tracy I do think we, as black women are part of the problem. Unfortunately the majority of black women do not have long hair. We can definitely get it but most women (hair stylists included) do not have the knowledge that the women on these boards have.
A large percentage of black women wear weaves on a regular basis. Next time you go to any event which is predominantly Black please take a look around and notice how many black women are wearing weaves. I have even noticed an increase of little girls (under age 10) wearing weaves and extension braids
WE (excluding most of the members on this board) do not believe that we can grow our own hair so we opt for the quick fix. When we see a black lady with really long hair we wonder and question if it is hers or not. We are so used to seeing the majority of black women who have long hair is usually a weave so yes we do question...I do it myself. (some weaves are done very well these days and some gals that I know and thought is was their real hair was actually a very well done and expensive weave!)
The reason white people and Spanish people (Latinos) do not care if J-lo or Britney Spears wears a weave is because they know that if these ladies wanted to grow their hair that long they could. Sadly most people dont realize that we can too. That is why in my opinion most of us as black people make a big deal, and debate about weaves.
It is my hope for all black women to grow our own hair long (if that is your choice you desire to have) and healthy without anyone questioning if it is a weave. I know there will be a day when long hair on black women is so common that there will be no question as to is it hers or not. I hope we make the weave industry collapse. It is an industry that thrives on the MYTH that black hair cant grow. And that is why I hate them so much. You all have heard the saying If you cant achieve it weave it ...I hate that!!! It makes me so sick I cant even find the words to describe how I feel.
Well take a look at some of the pictures of the ladies on this board.
WE CAN ACHIEVE IT. Now we just have to believe it. Then we can prove to the world that with the correct education on how to care and style our hair black women have long hair too.
Sorry so long but I have pretty strong feelings about this subject and I am glad this came up.
Valleygirl
OK I realize that everyone is not going to like what I have to say but I am going to say it anyway.
Black women dont believe we can grow long hair so they opt for a quick fix which contributes to the problem. I read an article a long time ago in Vibe magazine about all the bad things that long term use of weaves and braids do to your hair. Ever noticed how some girls wear weaves for such long periods of time and their hair never seems to grow? Apart from the damage that the tight braiding or bonding does to the hair and scalp, the hair that is used to make weaves (both synthetic and human) are processed with all kinds of chemicals that ruin our hair and the follicle. I wondered why this info wasnt published in other sources but someone explained to me that the hair weave extension industry is a million dollar one (including advertising dollars) If people knew the damage it did the industry would suffer. I dont believe that people would stop adding extensions to their hair b/c of the joy they get with having long hair they can have immediately. But I do believe that prolonged wearing of weaves along with overuse of relaxers, heat styling tools and everything else we do to get our hair to do something it was not naturally intended to do causes major damage and stunted hair growth. I am not implying that it is wrong to use these things, I have done all of the above. But as with anything in life moderation is key. For some of us it is a styling option, a way to change things up a bit but a lot of us get hooked on weaves and then wonder why our own hair wont grow.
This is quoted from another board:
I've been doing weaves for years and you'll never see me with out one. My request in my Will is to bury me in a deep water wave weave style #2 length 12.
This is what I am talking about. Many black women have this mentality.
To side with Tracy I do think we, as black women are part of the problem. Unfortunately the majority of black women do not have long hair. We can definitely get it but most women (hair stylists included) do not have the knowledge that the women on these boards have.
A large percentage of black women wear weaves on a regular basis. Next time you go to any event which is predominantly Black please take a look around and notice how many black women are wearing weaves. I have even noticed an increase of little girls (under age 10) wearing weaves and extension braids
WE (excluding most of the members on this board) do not believe that we can grow our own hair so we opt for the quick fix. When we see a black lady with really long hair we wonder and question if it is hers or not. We are so used to seeing the majority of black women who have long hair is usually a weave so yes we do question...I do it myself. (some weaves are done very well these days and some gals that I know and thought is was their real hair was actually a very well done and expensive weave!)
The reason white people and Spanish people (Latinos) do not care if J-lo or Britney Spears wears a weave is because they know that if these ladies wanted to grow their hair that long they could. Sadly most people dont realize that we can too. That is why in my opinion most of us as black people make a big deal, and debate about weaves.
It is my hope for all black women to grow our own hair long (if that is your choice you desire to have) and healthy without anyone questioning if it is a weave. I know there will be a day when long hair on black women is so common that there will be no question as to is it hers or not. I hope we make the weave industry collapse. It is an industry that thrives on the MYTH that black hair cant grow. And that is why I hate them so much. You all have heard the saying If you cant achieve it weave it ...I hate that!!! It makes me so sick I cant even find the words to describe how I feel.
Well take a look at some of the pictures of the ladies on this board.
WE CAN ACHIEVE IT. Now we just have to believe it. Then we can prove to the world that with the correct education on how to care and style our hair black women have long hair too.
Sorry so long but I have pretty strong feelings about this subject and I am glad this came up.
Valleygirl
LuvableLady
New Member
I think you've got great points. I do know that we as African Americans realize that our hair grows monthly and at the same rate of any other race, it's simply retaining the length since some of our hair tends to dryer which causes breakage, it is great hair, just not the average head of hair…..black hair is unique, we can all agree with that I’ll bet.
We need to tell all the ladies (not on this board) to keep their hair moisturized so that they can retain their length, if they want to. It would be nice if Oprah would do a show on African American hair care and not necessarily growth because hair is going to grow regardless. If she mentioned this website and others like it, it would be nice because unfortunately, we can't reach many people here and those African American women that we are reaching already know this stuff and have long hair, if not, they are on their way to long hair.
We need to tell all the ladies (not on this board) to keep their hair moisturized so that they can retain their length, if they want to. It would be nice if Oprah would do a show on African American hair care and not necessarily growth because hair is going to grow regardless. If she mentioned this website and others like it, it would be nice because unfortunately, we can't reach many people here and those African American women that we are reaching already know this stuff and have long hair, if not, they are on their way to long hair.
sweetcocoa
Active Member
To me weaves are okay for special occasions and for short term uses. It's when they are worn as a permanent (addornment) solutuion that they cause so much damage! My neice had a full head of hair 3 years ago. 2 years ago I noticed her hair line was broken severly. I told her and my sister (her mother) that constantly wearing a weave(every day) will thin and break off her hair. My sister didn't believe me. Now my nieces hair line is broken back 2 - 3 inches back from her forehead. She said her hair is so broken and thin she doesn't know what to do with it...and continues to wear weaves to hide the on going damage. My only solution for her is to stop weaving, cut it off to a twa and if needed sport a wig till she gets some length...but no more weaves. She's in tears and I feel sorry for her. I believe too much empahsis is put on weaves and not trying to keep your hair healthy.
i definately see your point. i was one of those girls who always wore weaves. i wore weaves when it was not popular to wear weaves. when i was in highschool i suffered all kinds of verbal abuse because of my weave from both male and female. it did not stop me from wearing weaves because i wanted long hair so badly. i did lots of damage to my hair with the bonding glue especially. at the time, i didn't care because i was in denial and i had the weave to cover up the damage.
i never considered the thought of wearing my hair until i was in my mid twenties. i just got tired of it. the biggest and hardest thing for me to do was to wear my own hair. it was a MAJOR life changing experiance for me. i had to get my hair cut really short since it was so damaged. i thought to myself, "if toni braxton and halle berry can wear their hair short and still be considered beautiful, then i can to". i owe something to those ladies because they gave me the courage i needed.
it was so hard in the beginning because i felt so naked without my weave. i felt like a tomboy. i got past it and people kept telling me how nice i looked with short hair.
now i wear my hair in braids off and on. i wear it in braids to give it a break from styling and chemicals. it grows nicely that way. since i always wore weaves, i never learned how to properly care for my own hair. i have learned a lot from this board and can't wait to take my braids out and start my conditioner washes /images/graemlins/smirk.gif
i never considered the thought of wearing my hair until i was in my mid twenties. i just got tired of it. the biggest and hardest thing for me to do was to wear my own hair. it was a MAJOR life changing experiance for me. i had to get my hair cut really short since it was so damaged. i thought to myself, "if toni braxton and halle berry can wear their hair short and still be considered beautiful, then i can to". i owe something to those ladies because they gave me the courage i needed.
it was so hard in the beginning because i felt so naked without my weave. i felt like a tomboy. i got past it and people kept telling me how nice i looked with short hair.
now i wear my hair in braids off and on. i wear it in braids to give it a break from styling and chemicals. it grows nicely that way. since i always wore weaves, i never learned how to properly care for my own hair. i have learned a lot from this board and can't wait to take my braids out and start my conditioner washes /images/graemlins/smirk.gif
LuvableLady
New Member
Just like smokers are going to smoke, weave wearers are going to wear weaves and no matter what is said here, it won’t change anything. Just like people who relax are going to relax, people who are natural are going to be natural, people who color are going to color and people who use heat are going to use heat. It’s all personal choice.
I personally have never worn a weave because IMO they are kind of silly, I’d much prefer a wig over a weave if I had to pick between the two. I personally don’t think glue and needles and thread were meant for hair and that goes for anybody's hair of any race even if the person is green. Now, extension braids I do love and have sported them before but they don’t require glue or needles and thread. With extensions the braids can last a month or two instead of a day or a week without extensions. I do them myself!
I personally have never worn a weave because IMO they are kind of silly, I’d much prefer a wig over a weave if I had to pick between the two. I personally don’t think glue and needles and thread were meant for hair and that goes for anybody's hair of any race even if the person is green. Now, extension braids I do love and have sported them before but they don’t require glue or needles and thread. With extensions the braids can last a month or two instead of a day or a week without extensions. I do them myself!
A
AmilLion
Guest
Yes, I understand your point, Tracy as well as others.
To be honest with you, I don't care. We put too much emphasis on what other women look like. Before it would upset me, but I'm older and wiser now. People will always have their opinions, no matter how much you or whomever try to educate. Its a colorful world.
I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with what anyone says, I'm simply taking it in. Like the guy that made the rude comment to me, I don't agree or disagree with him. That's his opinion of me.
But you go on with your bad self lol.....
To be honest with you, I don't care. We put too much emphasis on what other women look like. Before it would upset me, but I'm older and wiser now. People will always have their opinions, no matter how much you or whomever try to educate. Its a colorful world.
I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with what anyone says, I'm simply taking it in. Like the guy that made the rude comment to me, I don't agree or disagree with him. That's his opinion of me.
But you go on with your bad self lol.....
VALLEYGIRL
New Member
Luvablelady
Yes you are right we do have choices but that does not make our choices right.
I smoke cigarettes... that is my choice. In this country we have the right to do that.. It does not mean that it is good for me to do it. If I smoke, but then I wonder why I can't walk quickly up a flight of stairs and then get mad at why I'm breathing so heavy then that is a problem. But I know the root of my problem. Whether I choose to fix it or not is once again my choice.
Most weave wearers do not know the root of their problem. Most black women do not know why there hair won't grow (retain length). So I have to disagree with you when you say that what is said here wont change anything. It is because of internet boards like this that are making women rethink and revamp their hair care routines all the time. I can't tell you how many boards I visit where ladies discuss how *I use to use heat 2 times a week, I use to retouch every month, I use to curl with the curling iron every morning, i would never deep condition etc*.. but after learning that these things are damaging to our hair they stopped and tried something different...and now their hair reflects the difference in their hair care routine.
They still indeed have the choice to do these things mentioned above but after reading and learning what happens after doing x,y or z they become more knowledgeable and informed and can make choices based upon improved knowledge and understanding of what our hair needs to thrive.
Valleygirl
Yes you are right we do have choices but that does not make our choices right.
I smoke cigarettes... that is my choice. In this country we have the right to do that.. It does not mean that it is good for me to do it. If I smoke, but then I wonder why I can't walk quickly up a flight of stairs and then get mad at why I'm breathing so heavy then that is a problem. But I know the root of my problem. Whether I choose to fix it or not is once again my choice.
Most weave wearers do not know the root of their problem. Most black women do not know why there hair won't grow (retain length). So I have to disagree with you when you say that what is said here wont change anything. It is because of internet boards like this that are making women rethink and revamp their hair care routines all the time. I can't tell you how many boards I visit where ladies discuss how *I use to use heat 2 times a week, I use to retouch every month, I use to curl with the curling iron every morning, i would never deep condition etc*.. but after learning that these things are damaging to our hair they stopped and tried something different...and now their hair reflects the difference in their hair care routine.
They still indeed have the choice to do these things mentioned above but after reading and learning what happens after doing x,y or z they become more knowledgeable and informed and can make choices based upon improved knowledge and understanding of what our hair needs to thrive.
Valleygirl
LuvableLady
New Member
Valleygirl,When I say we won’t be able to change people by what is said here. I meant we won’t be able to change the ideas of a person who has worn weaves their whole life because it’s become a part of them. I’ll bet that most people sporting weaves don’t belong to a board like this one. They are probably members of a weave board trying to learn how to get an even better weave.I’m not against weaves and if people wear them I would never make fun of them, I’ve never been one to do that, I’m just never going to wear an actual weave with the whole glue, needle and thread thing.
I know that most people who visit boards such as this are trying to make a change for the better, however, the numbers of people who actually visit these type of boards are probably very low so, that’s why I think what’s said here won’t change anything because most of us know these things and those that don’t know probably don’t care as the internet is open to all people and anyone can have access to all this useful information, if they want it. I don’t think people want this info if they aren’t coming here. No one told me about these boards, I sought them out because I wanted to. People have to want to and if they don’t, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Now, if I were a weave wearer, based on the information you posted today, I would make the decision not to be because I would be looking to change simply by coming here. However, you also posted negatives about extension braiding and I don't agree with that and because of that, I won't change as I don't see where that would be damaging unless they are not done properly, mine are done properly when done. You did have excellent points about the extension braid thing. You see what I mean about people having to want to make a change. I think it's all about personal beliefs.
I know that most people who visit boards such as this are trying to make a change for the better, however, the numbers of people who actually visit these type of boards are probably very low so, that’s why I think what’s said here won’t change anything because most of us know these things and those that don’t know probably don’t care as the internet is open to all people and anyone can have access to all this useful information, if they want it. I don’t think people want this info if they aren’t coming here. No one told me about these boards, I sought them out because I wanted to. People have to want to and if they don’t, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Now, if I were a weave wearer, based on the information you posted today, I would make the decision not to be because I would be looking to change simply by coming here. However, you also posted negatives about extension braiding and I don't agree with that and because of that, I won't change as I don't see where that would be damaging unless they are not done properly, mine are done properly when done. You did have excellent points about the extension braid thing. You see what I mean about people having to want to make a change. I think it's all about personal beliefs.
A
AmilLion
Guest
I've worn weaves. They helped my hair growth, but wearing them over an extended period also assisted thinning my hair out. I know that was hair was being damaged, but I loved the convenience of achieving a style I wanted rather than waiting to grow out my hair.
It got to a period, where I had enough and said, I rather grow out my own hair than to spend money on weaves.
A lot of women that choose to wear weaves (not all) even though they know there's damage being done feel as if there's no going back now. The trauma to some hair is irreversible and they feel as if they no longer have a choice and that they are bound to wearing only weaves to cover the damage. However, with me, I saw my hair line starting to thin out and my ends and I had to stop the madness there. I refused to be one of those women with a hair line behind my ears. Sorry if I offended anyone.
Currently, my hair is overprocessed on the ends, but I've learned how to work with it in the meantime until I grow out my hair and cut off gradually. Overall, my hair appears to be in a healthy state because of my daily maintenance routine, and will be even healthier once all the overprocessed ends are trimmed off.
But this post shouldn't be a debate about weaves, how bad or good they are. Weaves have a positive and negative effect. We should be more considered how to maintain our hair underneath the weave and maintaining the look of the weave. We are all here to help promote healthy hair growth as well as those who've worn weaves to enlighten those who haven't the positive and negative effects it may have had on your hair.
It got to a period, where I had enough and said, I rather grow out my own hair than to spend money on weaves.
A lot of women that choose to wear weaves (not all) even though they know there's damage being done feel as if there's no going back now. The trauma to some hair is irreversible and they feel as if they no longer have a choice and that they are bound to wearing only weaves to cover the damage. However, with me, I saw my hair line starting to thin out and my ends and I had to stop the madness there. I refused to be one of those women with a hair line behind my ears. Sorry if I offended anyone.
Currently, my hair is overprocessed on the ends, but I've learned how to work with it in the meantime until I grow out my hair and cut off gradually. Overall, my hair appears to be in a healthy state because of my daily maintenance routine, and will be even healthier once all the overprocessed ends are trimmed off.
But this post shouldn't be a debate about weaves, how bad or good they are. Weaves have a positive and negative effect. We should be more considered how to maintain our hair underneath the weave and maintaining the look of the weave. We are all here to help promote healthy hair growth as well as those who've worn weaves to enlighten those who haven't the positive and negative effects it may have had on your hair.
VALLEYGIRL
New Member
I got ya LuvableLady....I just misunderstood what you wrote.
The information is here for anyone who wants or needs it As it is also in some of the great hair care books in the library or bookstores but most of us (outside this board) still really don't believe we can grow our own hair with out a weave. And this is what bothers me about weaves. Some think the weave is the answer...the only way so they do not even bother to search for an alternative. So then it is like talking to a brick wall. Some get stuck in the same way of thinking.
While others like AmilLion said enough of this I am growing my own hair!!! She knows and believes she can and will grow hair more beautiful than any weave can match.
Just last night I read a post on the BET hair board while doing a search and a girl said I grew my hair to just above shoulder length but b/c my great grandmother was Indian that is the probably the reason it was able to grow this long.
WTF!!! come on now!!!!
This kind of thinking exists more than we realize.
Most people want change but are afraid to go through whatever needs to be done to get the desired result.
(the ones that go for the quick fix)
Some don't care and are content with where they are
(the ones that don't care about hair care or health and don't spend much time if any on their hair)
and then there are the huge number of people that simply don't know and haven't been taught factual information on our hair.
(the ones that weave back to back and truly want their own hair to be long but get frustrated b/c it is still short)
I truly hope more ladies like Carolyn Gray, Cathy Howse and Wanakee, and the ladies who have achieved their hair goals on this board will continue to spread correct information about our hair and end the cycle of myths that have been passed down from generation to generation.
Valleygirl
The information is here for anyone who wants or needs it As it is also in some of the great hair care books in the library or bookstores but most of us (outside this board) still really don't believe we can grow our own hair with out a weave. And this is what bothers me about weaves. Some think the weave is the answer...the only way so they do not even bother to search for an alternative. So then it is like talking to a brick wall. Some get stuck in the same way of thinking.
While others like AmilLion said enough of this I am growing my own hair!!! She knows and believes she can and will grow hair more beautiful than any weave can match.
Just last night I read a post on the BET hair board while doing a search and a girl said I grew my hair to just above shoulder length but b/c my great grandmother was Indian that is the probably the reason it was able to grow this long.
WTF!!! come on now!!!!
This kind of thinking exists more than we realize.
Most people want change but are afraid to go through whatever needs to be done to get the desired result.
(the ones that go for the quick fix)
Some don't care and are content with where they are
(the ones that don't care about hair care or health and don't spend much time if any on their hair)
and then there are the huge number of people that simply don't know and haven't been taught factual information on our hair.
(the ones that weave back to back and truly want their own hair to be long but get frustrated b/c it is still short)
I truly hope more ladies like Carolyn Gray, Cathy Howse and Wanakee, and the ladies who have achieved their hair goals on this board will continue to spread correct information about our hair and end the cycle of myths that have been passed down from generation to generation.
Valleygirl
pebbles
New Member
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Just last night I read a post on the BET hair board while doing a search and a girl said I grew my hair to just above shoulder length but b/c my great grandmother was Indian that is the probably the reason it was able to grow this long.
WTF!!! come on now!!!!
This kind of thinking exists more than we realize.
[/ QUOTE ]
Sad but true. A LOT of people think like that. For a long time I used to think that only AA women who came from mixed families could grow hair to their tailbone. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
It's shameful. I'm glad I know better now. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Just last night I read a post on the BET hair board while doing a search and a girl said I grew my hair to just above shoulder length but b/c my great grandmother was Indian that is the probably the reason it was able to grow this long.
WTF!!! come on now!!!!
This kind of thinking exists more than we realize.
[/ QUOTE ]
Sad but true. A LOT of people think like that. For a long time I used to think that only AA women who came from mixed families could grow hair to their tailbone. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
It's shameful. I'm glad I know better now. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
LuvableLady
New Member
Amen Valleygirl!
That’s why I am going to grow my hair down to my butt. We can grow long hair and anybody that says we can’t is not telling the truth or is brainwashed, IMO!
That’s why I am going to grow my hair down to my butt. We can grow long hair and anybody that says we can’t is not telling the truth or is brainwashed, IMO!
sassygirl125
Professional PJ
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Next time you go to any event which is predominantly Black please take a look around and notice how many black women are wearing weaves. I have even noticed an increase of little girls (under age 10) wearing weaves and extension braids.
[/ QUOTE ]
I've noticed this, too. Having your "own" hair is a novelty these days!
[Patting my transistional fake afro puff... /images/graemlins/grin.gif]
I'm with you sweetcocoa--weaves for special occasions or a temporary style change is no big deal. But when someone wears weaves for years and years, I begin to think something is wrong with their real hair!
I finally watched the Whitney Houston interview. (I taped it--very scary!) She is too young to be wearing those wigs all the time! She's been living in those wigs since the early 80's! Yikes! They showed an old clip of her singing in church and her hair looked fine. I don't get it...
Next time you go to any event which is predominantly Black please take a look around and notice how many black women are wearing weaves. I have even noticed an increase of little girls (under age 10) wearing weaves and extension braids.
[/ QUOTE ]
I've noticed this, too. Having your "own" hair is a novelty these days!
[Patting my transistional fake afro puff... /images/graemlins/grin.gif]
I'm with you sweetcocoa--weaves for special occasions or a temporary style change is no big deal. But when someone wears weaves for years and years, I begin to think something is wrong with their real hair!
I finally watched the Whitney Houston interview. (I taped it--very scary!) She is too young to be wearing those wigs all the time! She's been living in those wigs since the early 80's! Yikes! They showed an old clip of her singing in church and her hair looked fine. I don't get it...
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