This is actually my 3rd time going natural. (so please excuse the long post)
The 1st time I was in the 8th grade and I let a friend hot comb my hair even though the length of it was relaxed. I wasn't getting regular relaxers I went from shoulder length hair to a TWA. Let's just say that didn't go over so well at school (endured a lot of taunting
) and I promptly got a relaxer 3 months later.
The 2nd time was when I got to Washington DC in 2000. I saw so many women here rocking either TWA or totally bald. After trying to grow my hair to shoulder length only for the back of my hair break off I decided to go for it and I cut it all off. I was natural for about 2 years, and then I got a Silkner from Curve Salon aka Miss Jessie's (its SUPER thick). It was definitely a lot healthier (minus the Dominican blow out fiasco that left some parts scorched ) but grew tired of maintaining it so I relaxed it into a short cut.
Since then, I wore it short (which was great and looked fine) mid length (still looked great, hardly any breakage) and tried in vain to grow it past my shoulders (bad idea).
Once again I suffered extreme breakage in the back of my hair. I tried Ayurvedic oils and teas, expensive salon brands, different stylists, but nothing helped. Finally, I tried a BKT. Well, my hair was already adverse to protein so my already dry hair turned brittle and snapped off. No Redken, Joico, L'oreal or DC could save it. So, after a few weeks of watching it fall to the floor or go down the drain, I cut it off.
Looking back, I was simply subscribing to an ideal of beauty, like an overwhelming amount of women do
As
Curltalk said, I fell into the idea of beauty.
But I'm not meant to have flowing straight or even curly hair. My hair is tight and coily. It shrinks, it frizzy, but I remember as a child it was also dark brown, lush and thick. I LOVED my hair. And I want that back. So after reading so many posts and looking at so many pictures of women with beautiful 4a/b/c hair I felt empowered to do it. I just wish the media would put out more POSITIVE images of curly/coily haired women
ESP 4a/b/... hair. Then perhaps we wouldn't need to feel like we need to succumb to relaxers, weaves, or even blowing it out.
BlackMasterPiece, I wish my mom gave me that kind of support your mom did. My mom is from Haiti too, but like some of us heard from our mothers, I didn't get the "good hair" from her. She's funny, sometimes she's supportive of my decision but often she goes back to her old ways and thinking, and comments...anyway, thank you for the thread
Sianna. It's been really helpful.