Why are people often mean to their crushes?

vtoodler

vtoodler

New Member
Why do people sometimes act hostile to those who they have a crush on? (ie--Helga Pataki)

What is their motivation for doing this?
 
And also at times, they're mad at the level of control that that person has over them too.
i.e. 'why do you make me feel this way'
 
I feel from recent experience is it is embarassing that I like some ppl..like when you know they are out of your league its a shame to know or see this person as a constant reminder you will never obtain them.I also think ppl are mean to crushes bc they want them but they know the feelings may not be mutally..
 
A couple of reasons, to retain control of their emotions and to get your attention. Some guys at work will always say stupid or silly things to me and its to get my attention. I also think it a weird sort of way to control their crush as well. Reminds me of some pick-up artist type stuff.
 
i try not to be mean to anyone but i notice when i like someone i completely ignore them. i don't make eye contact, i won't talk to them, i avoid them etc. i come off as very rude and standoffish. i guess it's so they won't know how i feel but it's very middle schoolish.:ohwell:
 
Oasis said:
i try not to be mean to anyone but i notice when i like someone i completely ignore them. i don't make eye contact, i won't talk to them, i avoid them etc. i come off as very rude and standoffish. i guess it's so they won't know how i feel but it's very middle schoolish.:ohwell:
Click to expand...

This is SOOOOOOOO ME TOOOOO!!! Even if my crush seemed to show interest back, I still ignored them. It was defense mechanism which I still employ.
 
Defense mechanism. Keeps you from getting your feelings hurt (or so you think). Kinda like the dump him before he dumps me thing.
 
Has anyone else here ever done this, or know someone who has?

If you watched "Hey Arnold" as a little kid and remember Helga Pataki, then you know what I'm describing.
 
Last edited:
I understand how you might come across as a bit cold or arrogant, I would probably do the same if I didn't want my feelings to show.
Being just plain mean I really don't get. I once knew a guy had a crush on me, and downright tried to insult me. He told me he hated my clothes, that my hair looked a mess and that I didn't know what I was talking about. All this in front of other people. He made me feel like an idiot.
He later confessed to another friend that he was in love with me but knew it wouldn't work.

I don't care what his motivaiton was and really can't forgive his behaviour.
 
Grand Prix said:
I understand how you might come across as a bit cold or arrogant, I would probably do the same if I didn't want my feelings to show.
Being just plain mean I really don't get. I once knew a guy had a crush on me, and downright tried to insult me. He told me he hated my clothes, that my hair looked a mess and that I didn't know what I was talking about. All this in front of other people. He made me feel like an idiot.
He later confessed to another friend that he was in love with me but knew it wouldn't work.

I don't care what his motivaiton was and really can't forgive his behaviour.
Click to expand...

:nono: that's just mean.
 
Grand Prix said:
I understand how you might come across as a bit cold or arrogant, I would probably do the same if I didn't want my feelings to show.
Being just plain mean I really don't get. I once knew a guy had a crush on me, and downright tried to insult me. He told me he hated my clothes, that my hair looked a mess and that I didn't know what I was talking about. All this in front of other people. He made me feel like an idiot.
He later confessed to another friend that he was in love with me but knew it wouldn't work.

I don't care what his motivaiton was and really can't forgive his behaviour.
Click to expand...

Reminds me of back in grade school when you find out the boy that likes you is the one who pulls your hair, says mean things, makes you cry...more proof men never grow up!
 
Oasis said:
i try not to be mean to anyone but i notice when i like someone i completely ignore them. i don't make eye contact, i won't talk to them, i avoid them etc. i come off as very rude and standoffish. i guess it's so they won't know how i feel but it's very middle schoolish.:ohwell:
Click to expand...



Yass! I do this--I think it's nervousness. And it surprises me because I'm not generally nervous around people. One guy called me out on it and it first thought I was being rude but the next time he saw me he said, "Why are you so nervous around me? " That was embarassing. Until it wasn't anymore. Boom!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top