Why Are Men Superficial? (Rant)

[metamorfhosis]

Hello Ladies-

Someone had a similar thread about this but I just wanted to share what happened to me...........

I was in need of a retouch. I had stretched 8 months and couldn't take it anymore. So I went to my local Cosmetology School like I always do and got a retouch. The student put an Affirm mild relaxer in my hair and it took really good. After the relaxer, I decided to get my hair flat ironed. She did a good job and I was pleased.

I had some errands to run after I got my hair done. I was going about my business and these guys were just speaking to me and waving from their cars. Why oh why have I got to put my hair through so much manipulation in order to get a reaction from a man?

I want a man who wants me with my hair back in a protective style, no makeup, and in workout clothes. Do we really have to go through so much to get a man's attention? What about the Plain Janes who have men? Well, maybe the Plain Jane flirted.

Just frustrated ..............Sorry about the rant.

Do you think we have to show our crown and glory in order to get attention from men? What has your experience been?

 

[LynnieB]

hehe, i guess you can consider me an old fashioned broad at 44

i gotta honestly ask you this: Do you REALLY want a potential bf/dh to be the type of man that hollers at ya from street corners, cars, open windows, etc.

naaaah - even though it prolly would give a woman's ego a boost to know you look hot

women also love and appreciate respect.

like all good things.....it takes time to find the right one! Patience (just like growing our hair).

 

[metamorfhosis]

hehe, i guess you can consider me an old fashioned broad at 44

i gotta honestly ask you this: Do you REALLY want a potential bf/dh to be the type of man that hollers at ya from street corners, cars, open windows, etc.

naaaah - even though it prolly would give a woman's ego a boost to know you look hot

women also love and appreciate respect.

like all good things.....it takes time to find the right one! Patience (just like growing our hair).

Dear LynnieB-

The men who gave me attention were respectful. Some spoke to me as I walked by or waved to me from the car. No cat calls. And at the same time, none of them were relationship material in my eyes.

My problem is why have I got to get a relaxer and straighten my hair (flat iron) in order to get this attention. Why is it that I am virtually "invisible" when my hair is pulled back.

The women who we would consider Plain Jane (including myself when in my workout gear/no makeup). Most women that I see don't really fix themselves up and they have a man.

It just seems like to me, before I can get some attention , I've got to have hair hanging down my back.

Why are men like this? Was it easier for you ladies to attract men with shorter or longer hair?

 

[LynnieB]

hmmmm

My problem is why have I got to get a relaxer and straighten my hair (flat iron) in order to get this attention. Why is it that I am virtually "invisible" when my hair is pulled back.

maybe it's the way you carry yourself.... any woman whose feeling great about something or just feeling good about herself.

when we feel good (like our hair, clothes, make-up is on point) - we show it. the vibe flows through our body language, the way we walk, talk, carry our heads, posture, etc.?

sometimes the way we feel has a direct influence on how others see us, our aura (if you believe in such things) or our inner beauty and spirit.

even if we weren't dressed to the 9's, if our hair isn't perfect, our clothes aren't right off the runway - we still can carry ourselves like they were and this is what other folks see and sense when they cross our paths.

just a thought.

 

[metamorfhosis]

hmmmm



maybe it's the way you carry yourself.... any woman whose feeling great about something or just feeling good about herself.

when we feel good (like our hair, clothes, make-up is on point) - we show it. the vibe flows through our body language, the way we walk, talk, carry our heads, posture, etc.?

sometimes the way we feel has a direct influence on how others see us, our aura (if you believe in such things) or our inner beauty and spirit.

even if we weren't dressed to the 9's, if our hair isn't perfect, our clothes aren't right off the runway - we still can carry ourselves like they were and this is what other folks see and sense when they cross our paths.

just a thought.

Dear LynnieB-

I hear you and I think you have a valid point. But the only thing different about me was the straightened hair. I was dressed neatly but not in "cute clothes". The wind was blowing so my hair was actually out of place. I was going about my business---minding my own business (I don't usually get attention) and here these guys come out of nowhere. I am convinced it was the hair.

 

[LynnieB]

could be metamorfhosis, it very well could be.

but somewhere deep inside i still think it's because you were rocking that heck out of that 'do and the entire world felt your vibe and it was all good.

remember, a woman can bring a man to his knees, with only a glance, if she so desires.....

enjoy yourself and you're flowing hair and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

[sexyaqr]

hmmmm



maybe it's the way you carry yourself.... any woman whose feeling great about something or just feeling good about herself.

when we feel good (like our hair, clothes, make-up is on point) - we show it. the vibe flows through our body language, the way we walk, talk, carry our heads, posture, etc.?

sometimes the way we feel has a direct influence on how others see us, our aura (if you believe in such things) or our inner beauty and spirit.

even if we weren't dressed to the 9's, if our hair isn't perfect, our clothes aren't right off the runway - we still can carry ourselves like they were and this is what other folks see and sense when they cross our paths.

just a thought.

I agree with you 100%. I can be a 'Plain Jane' at times but I do carry myself as the sexiest woman out there. You can be in sweats, hair not newly done, no makeup but I can catch men's attention regardless.

I believe I am sexy no matter what I am wearing and that is what men feel.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

Oddly, I'm the opposite. When I doll myself up no one looks my way, co-workers compliment me and say they like the flat ironed hair or whatever, but people on the street don't seem to notice me.

I have a part time job at a gym and I get more attention when I'm at work there. When I leave to go pick something up from Wal-Mart and I'm sweaty and nasty, with my hair pulled back is when men pay me attention.

 

[Qetesh]

i think its more of a hit and miss when anyone gets alot of attention. also it can go to the area you are in. I have gotten attention when i am feeling like puking while wearing sweats and my hair pulled back.

i also have gotten it when my hair is done, but sometimes with my hair freshly done i get no attention. i guess it depends on the day. alot of it has to do with what other women said here how you cary yourself and how open you appear to men.

since i am engaged i am not looking for attention from men and i notice if i keep from making eye contact i have alot less chances of them attempting to talk to me ext. but if i do make contact say hello or smile at them its all over. so i would think about how open you make yourself when your hair is not done to help understand why men dont seem to notice you then

 

[FineChyna]

I hate to say this but in MY experience men in my area are very superficial. If you wear your hair in protective styles, you are virtually ignored (whether your clothes are nice or your wearing makeup) because men for whatever reason think you are not taking care of yourself

I have heard numerous men I know say that not having your hair "done" is almost like saying you are not taking care of yourself. Sad but true.

Most of the attention I get is from people who are from other areas. I have a b/f now but he has his hair comments at times too. I guess its something in the water here.

 

[HoneyDew]

Well, yout must have been looking good girl. There are women that would love to get compliments like that.

I think one of the hardest thing to deal with for some women is not getting that same attention all the time.

You really don't need that kind of attention all the time. I used to feel like I have to get attention all the time and it has been hard for me to deal with lack o' bling now that I have been trying to wear more protectives styles and transisition from shorter hair.

But, you will always get that wake up call.

Just this morning, I was running into the store to get a few things we forgot for dinner tonight. I have on yoga pants and a hoodie jacket and NO makeup - let's not even talk about my hair erplexed . I had 3 guys check me out. Each time I was like But, it goes to show you that men do notice an attractive woman even when she is not all polished and shined. But, she does deserve that extra attention when she is looking fine like you were that day.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

if this is what you want then wait and it will come to you.

i must admit i envy men cause all they have to do is shake out a shirt and go. all the preppin' and stuff we do it's amazing we have time for anything else . confidence goes along with beauty/appeal. if you feel good about yourself other people will get that vibe. just be confident with or without a bun. your beauty will shine through.

 

[keluric]

A good friend of mine told me, "I like light skin and long hair" then added, "who doesn't?" What can you say.. not only are SOME men superficial but slave mentality is alive and well.

 

[tenderheaded]

They can be, but I've gotten positive feedback at the oddest times Last year at a Daytona Beach resort my best friend said, "that man's trying to get your attention". I had on almost ankle length capri pants (i'm short) and no makeup. I looked around smiled at him and kept going. She let me know it was not right to get male attention when you are looking ratty So I must have been exuding confidence so that he overlooked the rattiness!!!

 

[chiprecious]

Girl that's just how they are, visual creatures. I asked my SO if when he first met me I had my hair in a bun would he have still found me as attractive and he honestly said prob not. Now that he knows he, he could cares less about my hair, but initially I think we have to be attracted to something and for men, its sooo often the hair.

Dear LynnieB-

The men who gave me attention were respectful. Some spoke to me as I walked by or waved to me from the car. No cat calls. And at the same time, none of them were relationship material in my eyes.

My problem is why have I got to get a relaxer and straighten my hair (flat iron) in order to get this attention. Why is it that I am virtually "invisible" when my hair is pulled back.

The women who we would consider Plain Jane (including myself when in my workout gear/no makeup). Most women that I see don't really fix themselves up and they have a man.

It just seems like to me, before I can get some attention , I've got to have hair hanging down my back.

Why are men like this? Was it easier for you ladies to attract men with shorter or longer hair?

 

[Babygurl]

hmmmm



maybe it's the way you carry yourself.... any woman whose feeling great about something or just feeling good about herself.

when we feel good (like our hair, clothes, make-up is on point) - we show it. the vibe flows through our body language, the way we walk, talk, carry our heads, posture, etc.?

sometimes the way we feel has a direct influence on how others see us, our aura (if you believe in such things) or our inner beauty and spirit.

even if we weren't dressed to the 9's, if our hair isn't perfect, our clothes aren't right off the runway - we still can carry ourselves like they were and this is what other folks see and sense when they cross our paths.

just a thought.

Now this statement is just GREAT!!! I truly believe this and it makes perfect sense. A lot of times I think its not so much the hair but the confidence that goes with it when its swinging in the breeze. Exude that same confidence when rockin a bun and trust that the attention will come.

 

[metamorfhosis]

could be metamorfhosis, it very well could be.

but somewhere deep inside i still think it's because you were rocking that heck out of that 'do and the entire world felt your vibe and it was all good.

remember, a woman can bring a man to his knees, with only a glance, if she so desires.....

enjoy yourself and you're flowing hair and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

To LynnieB-

I promise you I didn't rock the hair. LOL I was minding my business like I usually do and didn't even notice those guys until they spoke to me. To be honest with you, maybe I shouldn't be too mad because one day I saw a woman who was built like a model. She was tall and slim. She happened to have long straight hair. I think it was a weave because of the texture and the shine of the hair. Anyway............she still looked like a goddess.

Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. I ate a big plate. Didn't have breakfast.


To the Ladies:

Well, Curlee lurker, HoneyDew, and tenderheaded, all have gotten attention when they weren't looking their best. So, maybe men aren't as superficial as I thought.

I guess we all---both male and female have preferences. And I am guilty myself of seeing a woman who looked like a goddess with long hair.