Who has ever BC'ed and HATED IT!?!?

[Poohbear]

Oh ok virgo_chinwe. Thanks for your response... I don't know where VWVixen got her comment from because I didn't say anything about your choice to do whatever you please with your hair... I was just wondering about your view of your hair, that's all. Take care.

 

[Cheleigh]

Nah, I felt what you were saying too PoohBear.

Tomato, tomahto, I guess. I don't hate anything on my body, because hate is such a strong term--I may not be thrilled with every little thing, but I'll live with all of it, because it could always be worse. But again, that's a potato potahto issue. And I'm old, so I've had time to accept what I've got, the way it is. I don't begrudge anyone the opportunity to change anything, though, although I'm not excactly leaping for joy with someone refers to something that's similar to what I have (hair, nose, skin color or anything else) in a derogatory manner.

I have had no regrets doing my BC. I've never had hair this short, and I love it. So easy to wash it every day and style it within 15 minutes. I want it to grow longer ( or bigger, in my case) simply because I do like long hair, but I don't look forward to the other stuff (major detangling, washing my hair in sections, etc.) that comes with the longer hair.

 

[qtgirl]

I have to agree it was disturbing to me as well to hear someone say they hate the texture of their natural hair and can't wait to get back to "normal" and normal meaning a relaxer to them. Unfortunately, it's a very common sentiment; common in all it's forms. I'd feel the same way if someone said they hated any natural feature of themselves. And I really think there's a difference between someone hating their natural hair texture and someone shaving their legs.

 

[Poohbear]

Thanks Celeigh and qtgirl for understanding where I was coming from!

 

[beyondcute]

KNowing that I dont like short hair on me Ive decided not to do a twa. When I actualy do BC I will have enough hair for a ponytail. Thats just me I knwo it wouldnt work for me and I know I would hate it. Not the naturalness but the shortness.

 

[Gryphyn]

I liked my BC because I hated transitioning. My relaxed hair was really damaged and kept breaking anyway, and the couple times I have had extensions I couldn't keep them in for more than a couple months. Doing the BC was my best option, I guess.

I absolutely hated the length though. And as it grew out, I began to wish I held out a little longer because for the first 5 months after my BC, I struggled to style my hair. But if it wasn't for that time I spent struggling with it and learning about it, I wouldn't be so good at taking care of it now.

 

[blazingthru]

I waited the six month in my transition and I got tired of the two textures and had my hair cut, but I waited six months right, so I should have a lot of growth I was so shocked when I reached up to touch my hair and it was all gone she didn't have to cut all the four inches of new growth I had and leave me with 1/4 inch. I have 1/2in by the way and its only been a 10 days since I had it BC I used the Nesporin AF. I love the board but every now and then someone make sure their opinion is known and its very annoying, who the heck cares what others think of their own hair. I was not so sure I would like my hair or want to deal with it either, but it turns out that my texture is very easy to deal with and I am in love with it, but everyone isn't going to fall in love with natural hair that just all to it. My stylist said its not normal and unattractive, and not appealing and I laugh because I use to think that too, but then after learning so much about it I fell in love with it. Why can't we say how we feel about our own hair no matter what it is, and not have someone say something smart about it. DAG

 

[nissi]

Well after all the discussion about self-hatred and people feeling disturbed and shocked by the question, I do understand why the question was asked in the first place.

There were many who bc'ed and seemed to feel so liberated and everyone was patting them on the back. The influence to bc i felt came from other hair boards, but of course people have a right to do what they want with their own hair, no matter where the influence comes from.

But later some of the same bc-ing folks were either super quiet or a little distressed waiting for it to grow back out, then they were frustrated by the lack of styling options, people's reactions, their own personal perceptions, whether they felt attractive, how to accessorize and really having to live with the cons as well as the pros of their decision.

So the question was asked because people held it up that to big chop was a cultural holy grail of sorts that was not to be questioned in loving one's blackness. And it simply ain't so ('scuse my ebonics!). It is a choice that one, especially a black woman, just might hate later on! I really watched the bc'ers in what they said and (most importantly) didn't say and made my choice as to whether i wanted to walk that journey.

I knew that I was not going that way because I would not be comfortable overall with the look, so I chose to transition, fight the tangles, learn new strategies, to keep some length along the way. When I finally bc'ed last May, my hair was nape length. It was cut up to chin length and made sure the perm was gone. Along the way, I also learned new and wonderful things about how to love and handle my natural hair texture. Do i miss my roller sets? Oh yes! But whatever, i like my hair, and I love having options to do what I want. Chemical damage is not a factor. And yes, I would consider a perm in the future. My choice.

Now a little short of a year later, my natural hair is 1-2 inches short of bra strap. So it's the path you take. But count the cost and know why you do what you do. And don't think that a bc cannot be questioned. Hope that gives some positive food for thought!

 

[bluenude]

i big chopped 2 months ago w/ 5 inches of new growth and it took a LLLLLONNGGG time to get used to. In fact, I'm still struggling w/ whether or not I like it each day! Sometimes having short hair makes me feel very unfeminine but I know that if it gets really bad I can always weave it or braid it up. Plus, the compliments I get makes it really nice. People tell me that my hair looks pretty and different or exotic and that makes me feel good. I usually rock a chunky fro with hair clips.

I live on a college campus and literally each day is a testament as to why I don't want to go back to relaxed hair any time soon. Seeing all those relaxed chewed up ends really reinforce why I went natural. I never want to go back to looking like that. This board has given me hope though that one day I might relax my hair again and keep it healthy. Right now it can be stretched to my collar bone w/ a flat iron. I may relax again when I get to bra strap.

Oh, and big chopping was VERY scary for me. It's ok to be scared so dont think you're the only one! And girl, I have a Tyra Banks forehead so think of how scared I was!!

 

[bluenude]

nissi - that was so well put! I have felt the same way about everything you said!

 

[qtgirl]

Nissi, I don't think anyone was commenting on someone not liking their hair SHORT after a BC, that is to be expected because not everyone likes their hair short, but to say that you HATE your hair texture because it is not straight...I am sorry, but I will call that "a very alarming preoccupation with an eurocentric beauty standard" *since self-hate is a no-no word* all day every day.

 

[plove]

Can I chime in and say that I hate the natural texture of my hair? I used to feel bad, but now I think about it like this. Just because you were born with a certain feature doesn't mean you love yourself less for changing it. For example, I get my naturally bushy eyebrows waxed and I love it. I shave the hair from my legs and I love having smooth legs. I use special skin products for my natually oily skin and I couldn't be without them. If I am buying in to cultural ideals, then so be it.

I'am with you on this
I think people should do what make them happy
I am natural right now
sometimes i like it sometimes i don't
you can't live your life off of someone els view


http://public.fotki.com/lovep/
pw:havefun


can i ask a question
can we all just get along lol

 

[nissi]

Nissi, I don't think anyone was commenting on someone not liking their hair SHORT after a BC, that is to be expected because not everyone likes their hair short, but to say that you HATE your hair texture because it is not straight...I am sorry, but I will call that "a very alarming preoccupation with an eurocentric beauty standard" *since self-hate is a no-no word* all day every day.

point well taken, yet people have to accept (no matter how they feel about it) that people are allowed to have their likes and dislikes.

on the flip side, do they hate their texture because they want to be more white and they think that black is ugly and white is beautiful? or do they hate it because they want more manageability, "quicker" growth and less tangles and breakage? they have to look into their own hearts to determine the real motivation and (i would say pray) to determine if it is a sick motivation. yet, they are entitled to their opinion, even if the motivation may seem (or definitely is) wrong to someone else.

but shell's original question was summed up in, "who regretted bc'ing?" bcuz so many that started out bc-ing with a bang seemed to fizzle out later (my perception, ok?) -- a valid consideration and topic of discussion for us ladies who may want to kick the perm habit.

the other issues (self-hatred, i ain't scurred to say it! ) are side issues to this discussion imho... but are also still very interesting and relevant to the topic...!

thanks for the comment qt, enjoying the discussion!

 

[qtgirl]

I agree & thanks for the intelligent and well thought out discussion.

point well taken, yet people have to accept (no matter how they feel about it) that people are allowed to have their likes and dislikes.

on the flip side, do they hate their texture because they want to be more white and they think that black is ugly and white is beautiful? or do they hate it because they want more manageability, "quicker" growth and less tangles and breakage? they have to look into their own hearts to determine the real motivation and (i would say pray) to determine if it is a sick motivation. yet, they are entitled to their opinion, even if the motivation may seem (or definitely is) wrong to someone else.

but shell's original question was summed up in, "who regretted bc'ing?" bcuz so many that started out bc-ing with a bang seemed to fizzle out later (my perception, ok?) -- a valid consideration and topic of discussion for us ladies who may want to kick the perm habit.

the other issues (self-hatred, i ain't scurred to say it! ) are side issues to this discussion imho... but are also still very interesting and relevant to the topic...!

thanks for the comment qt, enjoying the discussion!

 

[LikeNoOther]

I'am with you on this
I think people should do what make them happy
I am natural right now
sometimes i like it sometimes i don't
you can't live your life off of someone els view


http://public.fotki.com/lovep/
pw:havefun


can i ask a question
can we all just get along lol

ITA!

I think that this was totally taken totally out of context. Just b/c someone says they don't like their natural hair texture does not imply 'self-hate' or 'succombing to eurocentric standards...' (I am not quoting anyone verbatim) Heck, sometimes I hate my relaxed hair! I work w/ white women who say they hate their hair texture all the time b/c its 'too fine and doesn't hold a curl or lacks body'. I also know white women who hate their very thick hair b/c its 'unmanageable, takes too long to dry,style etc.' Yet no one questions their 'self-image'. Why is it when a black women comments on her features she's suffering from 'self-hatred, european standards, blah, blah, blah'. I think that oftentimes alot of natural black women get EXTREMELY defensive when they hear other black women comment on their hair texture. It almost becomes an instance of self-righteousness b/c those who are natural 'embrace what God has given them' and those who are relaxed are 'oppressed my society's standard of beauty'. It's not a/b who's right and who's wrong.The bottom line is if you are happy that's all that matters. Variety is the spice of life.

And besides, ladies, its just hair

 

[caligirl]

ITA!

I think that this was totally taken totally out of context. Just b/c someone says they don't like their natural hair texture does not imply 'self-hate' or 'succombing to eurocentric standards...' (I am not quoting anyone verbatim) Heck, sometimes I hate my relaxed hair! I work w/ white women who say they hate their hair texture all the time b/c its 'too fine and doesn't hold a curl or lacks body'. I also know white women who hate their very thick hair b/c its 'unmanageable, takes too long to dry,style etc.' Yet no one questions their 'self-image'. Why is it when a black women comments on her features she's suffering from 'self-hatred, european standards, blah, blah, blah'. I think that oftentimes alot of natural black women get EXTREMELY defensive when they hear other black women comment on their hair texture. It almost becomes an instance of self-righteousness b/c those who are natural 'embrace what God has given them' and those who are relaxed are 'oppressed my society's standard of beauty'. It's not a/b who's right and who's wrong.The bottom line is if you are happy that's all that matters. Variety is the spice of life.

And besides, ladies, its just hair

Gosh, I wish some of these ladies who think this is simply a matter of "self-hate" would come over my house to do my hair every Saturday (and plan to stay all day).

 

[tropicexotic]

I loved experiementing with my hair...it was the shortest it's ever been in my life (I have baby pics w/ longer hair than what I had). I missed not having my ponytail cuz it was such a crutch on my bad hair days when I was relaxed...but I learned new styles and ways of handling my hair. That said, I think alot of this is about perception, alot of how we feel about ourselves and our looks has to do with what we feel others will perceive about us. I feel bad when I get a pimple cuz I know others are gonna look at it when talking to me, I felt odd with short hair cuz I knew people were gonna have a fit I cut "all that hair" off...I felt weird meeting new people with natural hair, feeling the need to explain my hair was really long and pretty a few months before that--the list goes on, but it's a learning experience. I feel completely different about it now than I did when I first started transitioning or first chopped. Some people get there, some don't...and all of that is OK. Life's too short to let the lil things get u down (my motto as I keep it moving).