Who better to have a hair discussion with than a licensed beautician?

CurlyNue

New Member
:offrant:
Who better to have a hair discussion with than a licensed beautician?

Conversing with a beautician in her early 60’s who is considering a mild career change I ask if she has given consideration to opening a salon specializing in natural, unprocessed hair. She provides with the location of the one salon in the city that works with strictly natural hair. In addition she offers a couple of recommendations on products for defining curls (Redken’s Ringlet 07 Curl Perfector and SoftSheen Carson Sta Sof Fro) after telling her about my current transition to natural. “You would look wonderful with natural hair”, was her response. As I tell her about my intent not to cut my hair until this time next year. She interrupted with, “Oh no, you must cut your hair every two to three months in order to keep the split ends away. If you don’t cut the hair will split all the way up the hair shaft. Trimming will get rid of frizz and dryness. She then shows me an example of a hair shaft with her fingers and how the hair splits; it’s not two hairs it is one hair splitting in two, she explains. Mind you I have already explained to this woman that although I am not a cosmetologist I went to school for cosmetology, so there really is no need to explain to me the basics of split ends. I tell her that I have already thought through my transition process and would not be cutting my hair. She says something about the training received during her schooling which advocated frequent trims for all the above reason and then some. I counter with, when I went to school for cosmetology I was trained that black women should only wash hair twice a month unless you were active; that was 10 years ago (I still got them books).

I explained to her that I was resigned never to touch my hair with a pair of scissors until I was ready to BC. Her response, “Black women and trimming their ends”, as she shakes her head at me.:nono: I had to tell her, I do not have a problem with cutting my hair. Every four or five years I cut my hair into a cute super short style so cutting my hair is not an issue for me.

The last thing she said to me as she got up to walk away was everyone has an opinion about what will work. Don’t ask for advice if you don’t want it and that’s the last thing I’m going to say about it. (What just happend? Is she upset?) I had to tell her I never asked about my hair, especially not cutting it. This whole conversation started because I asked a question about natural hair salons. Not once did I ask for the product recommendations or the advice on cutting my hair. All of those things were offered to me after hearing something I said.

She seemed offended that I would not take her advice to cut my hair, advice I did not ask for. I didn’t realize that listening to someones advice relinquishes your ability to refuse to use the advice. I thought I should be able to listen to a recommendation and decide for myself whether or not to follow it. (I could be wrong)

By the way I still plan on taking her recommendations for styling products for defining curls.
 
The last thing she said to me as she got up to walk away was everyone has an opinion about what will work. Don’t ask for advice if you don’t want it and that’s the last thing I’m going to say about it. (What just happend? Is she upset?)

She said it herself, hers was an opinion and it does not work for you. In a nutshell she was annoyed because she felt she knew more than you about hair, many cosmotologist feel they know EVERYTHING about hair. They were taught one thing and dont want to look at any other way of doing things because it will go against what they learned

From what I read in your post you did not ask about trimming/cutting hair. You told her you transistioning when she mentioned the natural hair salon. She then stated you would have to get your ends trimmed on a tri-monthly basis. Many cosmotologist do not understand then whole moisturizing/sealing thing. This is fairly new to even me, in her mind as you know, hair can only survive on its own for about 12 weeks without needing any type of daily care so by then it needs to be trimmed because the ends have been exposed with out any type of covering.

Take what you want from her solicited and unsolicited advice/suggestions and do what you know is best for you. They are not going to change anytime soon so I would not even put any more thought into it
 
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Being in your early 60's isn't that old but sometimes people that age and older can be stuck in their ways and are offended when younger people don't take their advice.

If you're in the same situation in the future, just nod and say "oh, ok" if you don't agree. Just to let them know that you are listening and heard what they said...doesn't mean that you're going to take the advice though. This works best for me when dealing with elders and their "suggestions."
 
To her, she wasn't having a "conversation" with you. She as a professional hairdresser was giving advice that you would knock down everytime she gave it. If you were the hairdresser and somebody seemed to need answers , and then every time you suggested something, they tell you that you're WRONG, you'd be annoyed too.

You made her feel like you thought you knew more than she did.

I'm not saying that you were trying to argue with her. But I think that's how she felt.

You don't have to take every piece of advice that people give you, but you don't have to let them know that they are wrong. Sometimes it's best to just listen....then go and do what YOU want to do.

That way nobody feels offended.
 
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To her, she wasn't having a "conversation" with you. She as a professional hairdresser was giving advice that you would knock down everytime she gave it. If you were the hairdresser and somebody seemed to need answers , and then every time you suggested something, they tell you that you're WRONG, you'd be annoyed too.

You made her feel like you thought you knew more than she did.

I'm not saying that you were trying to argue with her. But I think that's how she felt.

You don't have to take every piece of advice that people give you, but you don't have to let them know that they are wrong. Sometimes it's best to just listen....then go and do what YOU want to do.

That way nobody feels offended.

OMG

I hadn't even thought of it like that. I could not figure out what part I missed. I was in casual conversation mode and she was in professional teaching mode. I like it when the light comes on. Thank you Jesus!

That's why I love this site, other peoples perspectives. Thank you
 
This is exactly why I'm thinking of self relaxing, I don't wanna have to get in a heated discussion about me having to have a trim when I don't want one.
 
I don't wanna have to get in a heated discussion about me having to have a trim when I don't want one.

I was feeling the same way. I was kind of excited to have access to her so that we could talk hair. However after I expressed my opinion and stated I wasn't cutting I was hoping we would move on to something else. No such luck. We talked about hair cutting too long.
 
To her, she wasn't having a "conversation" with you. She as a professional hairdresser was giving advice that you would knock down everytime she gave it. If you were the hairdresser and somebody seemed to need answers , and then every time you suggested something, they tell you that you're WRONG, you'd be annoyed too.

You made her feel like you thought you knew more than she did.

I'm not saying that you were trying to argue with her. But I think that's how she felt.

You don't have to take every piece of advice that people give you, but you don't have to let them know that they are wrong. Sometimes it's best to just listen....then go and do what YOU want to do.

That way nobody feels offended.

I agree with everything CherriePie said. Knowing me I would've just nodded and did my own thing :yep: LOL
 
As I've once said (via Facebook status), "I know more than any beautician you ever been to". By that, I meant the ones that just went to school & thats it. I pay beauticians no mind when they start talking.
 
LOL, and this goes into other areas of live as well. Whenever you're talking to someone, especially if they believe they're an authority on the matter, and they're giving you advice that you know you're not going to implement--- just listen, look interested, nod, smile, then leave and do whatever the hell it was you were gonna do. and everyone's happy- i do this all the time.
 
Awe she got offended by your knowledge.

I agree.. listen and nod.. and then discard
 
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