Who am I NOT TO forgive???

[Mocha5]

*Disclaimer: God put this on my heart two weeks ago. Please entertain me as I am obedient.

I thank God today for His mercy and grace. I've done things that are so contrary to Him. I've done things that are so unholy in His sight. Yet He chose to forgive me. He has cleansed me and made me as white as snow. And even when I mess up now, He still forgives me.

So why then is it so hard for us to forgive others? We've all been wronged at some point and time. The offense may be huge like being abused physically, emotionally, or spiritually by someone we love. Or maybe the offense is small like someone failed to keep a promise or spoke to you in a hurtful way. While the offense can range from the smallest to the greatest, the end result should always be the same: forgiveness. Why? Because He forgave us. It's really that simple.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Mt. 6:14, 15

Forgiveness is stretching yourelf in love to say, "Ok, you have hurt me. But I realize that you are flawed because I, too, am flawed. Because neither of us are perfect, I am no longer going to be angry with you for hurting me." Forgiveness is not taking someone back. It's not silencing your voice. It's not giving up your right to due process. It's not allowing someone to continuously hurt you. And it's not agreeing with nor okaying the offense. But it IS releasing yourself.

Unforgiveness is akin to having a chain wrapped around your neck with a brick attached for EVERY offense that you have chosen not to forgive. And while this chain and it's bricks may not be visible, the affects most certainly are. They manifest themselves in your life as sickness, overeating, depression, bitterness, etc.

But forgiveness is the exact opposite affect. It can have such a therapeutic affect on your life resulting in joy, wellness, and strength. Just to name a few.

Release somebody today and release yourselff!!!

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 1Col 3:13


Brought to you by Mocha5's Couch Ministry (Thanks, Shimmie).

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Amen!!!! I agree wholeheartedly with that. You just don't know how much I agree with that!!!!!

 

[plainj]

I have to keep a copy of this in my notebook. This is one of my many hardest challenges to overcome in my new journey. I still don't quite understand it and how it releases me but I do understand it manifesting in my life because it has and is. I know that God will cleanse me of my unforgiving nature and I am fighting to rid myself of it too. Thank you so much for this. God Bless.

 

[fattyfatfat]

thanks Mocha!!!! I really needed that. Ive been holding grudges for years. Im learning to let them go

 

[sunnydaze]

On point Mocha. Thanks!

 

[dlove]

Thank you for being obedient. I needed this....God Bless You Always

 

[Shimmie]

This is beautiful Sweet Mocha...beautiful indeed. This word is not only on time but needed. You have allowed God to use you more than you realize.

This is God's Hour for love to flourish and healing hearts and hurts to begin. There is a flow of love coming from the Holy Spirit to repair the damage and renew the ruins of past hurts, past shame, past blame.

I took a chance of faith in calling you out today. I didn't know why the Lord lead me that way, but look at the beauty that has resulted. Indeed your word is on time. Your word is a welcome, refreshment in light of all that is ocurring in this world today. We needed a word from the Lord and indeed we did hear from Him today through you.

There's more coming from the 'couch' of Mocha5. I'm staying tuned. For God loves your eloquence; your love and your delivery.

Glory to God forever...Amen. :heart2:

 

[Mocha5]

This is beautiful Sweet Mocha...beautiful indeed. This word is not only on time but needed. You have allowed God to use you more than you realize.

This is God's Hour for love to flourish and healing hearts and hurts to begin. There is a flow of love coming from the Holy Spirit to repair the damage and renew the ruins of past hurts, past shame, past blame.

I took a chance of faith in calling you out today. I didn't know why the Lord lead me that way, but look at the beauty that has resulted. Indeed your word is on time. Your word is a welcome, refreshment in light of all that is ocurring in this world today. We needed a word from the Lord and indeed we did hear from Him today through you.

There's more coming from the 'couch' of Mocha5. I'm staying tuned. For God loves your eloquence; your love and your delivery.

Glory to God forever...Amen. :heart2:

Awww. Thanks, Shimmie. I'm glad God has knitted our hearts.

Ladies who responded: I'm so glad you get it. Even if you're not fully there it's okay. Just knowing is half the battle. God doesn't want us bound. He wants us loosed and set free!

 

[thegirltolove]

I am in a situation like this right now. It seems so hard to just let go of this thing that someone has done to me. I guess it is harder to release the hurt that is associated with their actions. I feel like I am hurting so badly, even to the point of being heartbroken.

I made up in my mind to not be angry and forgive this person, but for some reason the anger left and the hurt is still going strong. I don't know what else to do about it. I have sought the Lord and been seeking the Lord about this thing for over about a month now and it just won't go away. God, I need some help. Any word of advice on this one would be greatly appreciated.

 

[mrselle]

This is definitely something that I've been needing to hear. I've been struggling with this for quite sometime now. The thing is I want to forgive those who have hurt me, but I feel like by forgiving them I'm being a doormat or they think they can keep doing the same things to me over and over again. One day I had to get a little fiesty with someone and my husband's aunt says to me, "Oh, so you do have a backbone." I would like to think that just because I don't argue with people doesn't mean that I don't have a backbone. Meakness doesn't equal weakness, right?

 

[Shimmie]

I hope this testimony of 'Forgiveness' helps...I shared this in another thread a few days ago. Mocha5, can you see how much your 'word' is in season and how it continues to flow?

Here's my testimony:

Forgiving my ex-husband wasn't easy, let alone anything that I had a desire to even 'think' of doing. In our former marriage, he did so much to hurt me and he was abusive both physically and verbally. He committed adultary several times, we lost two homes, he also became a drug addict. It was a nightmare and a tragedy.

Never in my life had I ever been 'hit' by ANY man. My dad would never spank me or my sisters; nor any of the men in our family would spank the girls. They were firm about this...men do not hit women of any age.

My ex-husband thought he had a right to hit me (as his father used to hit his mother -- still no excuse). I was very fortunate to get out of my marriage; my father came to my rescue; took me home with him and scared all hell out of my ex-husband.

However, the pain of my experience and the hatred that I felt for this man that I once loved and trusted would not leave me. I hated him. I wished only bad for him. My dad would have 'killed' him and thought nothing of it; because this man hit me, his daughter whom my dad never hit.

No man was allowed and had EVER struck me, before my marriage (and NONE AFTER). What right did he have to do that to me? NONE! My Dad Grandfather, my uncles, male cousins, etc, NEVER hit me, and yet he did. AND I hated him with a passion!

He stole money from me; I had to hide my purse/wallets; he sold precious items (for drugs) that were given to me from my parents and grandparents. I literally had nothing...all because of him. Now that was my mindset. (A lot more happened, but it's too long to tell it all).

However...Moving Forward:

Two years after I was saved, the Lord used me to lead my ex-husband to the Lord. At first I resisted for I didn't want to have anything to do with him. But the Holy Spirit would not release me from it. And I 'knew' that God was going to have His way with me. Yet the Holy Spirit was so gentle with me.

One day he called me as I was preparing to leave for an evening service. I asked him if he wanted to know Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior...he said yes and we prayed.

From that day on, there was total peace in my heart and we never had a bitter word up until the day he died. God used this powerful way of His love to deliver me from all of the hurts I lived in my former marriage...through his Word.

The biggest honor is that God 'trusted' me to do this...

My ex died way before his time (so to speak), drug use weakened his heart. He was in the prime of his life; but the prayer not only healed me, but it bought him closer to our children, who were able to build a very strong relationship before he died. They were able to 'know' him and love him and not have the wall that had kept us divided for so long after our divorce.

Here's another miracle, the prayers extended his life longer than the doctor's had given him. They had only given him a few months to live and instead he lived waaaayyyyy, past that time frame (5 years after the prayer) and in good spirits and in strength. God gave this man strength enough to enjoy being with our children that he and I gave birth to.

I know it's hard in many cases, but it pays to forgive and pray, for there is far more power in it than we realize. It carries life with it. Long life.

For those of you struggling with 'forgiveness', you are NOT weak. You are human. And don't worry how it may look to others. You need the release from the bondage of being angry with the person or persons. As long as we have an ought in our heart towards them, it imprisons us, not them. Most of the time, it is 'we' who really suffer not the offender.

I understand how you may feel. And to each one who struggles, I give you love; love which overflows and takes over so that you can take your life back again and move on.

 

[Mocha5]

I hope this testimony of 'Forgiveness' helps...I shared this in another thread a few days ago. Mocha5, can you see how much your 'word' is in season and how it continues to flow?

Here's my testimony:

Forgiving my ex-husband wasn't easy, let alone anything that I had a desire to even 'think' of doing. In our former marriage, he did so much to hurt me and he was abusive both physically and verbally. He committed adultary several times, we lost two homes, he also became a drug addict. It was a nightmare and a tragedy.

Never in my life had I ever been 'hit' by ANY man. My dad would never spank me or my sisters; nor any of the men in our family would spank the girls. They were firm about this...men do not hit women of any age.

My ex-husband thought he had a right to hit me (as his father used to hit his mother -- still no excuse). I was very fortunate to get out of my marriage; my father came to my rescue; took me home with him and scared all hell out of my ex-husband.

However, the pain of my experience and the hatred that I felt for this man that I once loved and trusted would not leave me. I hated him. I wished only bad for him. My dad would have 'killed' him and thought nothing of it; because this man hit me, his daughter whom my dad never hit.

No man was allowed and had EVER struck me, before my marriage (and NONE AFTER). What right did he have to do that to me? NONE! My Dad Grandfather, my uncles, male cousins, etc, NEVER hit me, and yet he did. AND I hated him with a passion!

He stole money from me; I had to hide my purse/wallets; he sold precious items (for drugs) that were given to me from my parents and grandparents. I literally had nothing...all because of him. Now that was my mindset. (A lot more happened, but it's too long to tell it all).

However...Moving Forward:

Two years after I was saved, the Lord used me to lead my ex-husband to the Lord. At first I resisted for I didn't want to have anything to do with him. But the Holy Spirit would not release me from it. And I 'knew' that God was going to have His way with me. Yet the Holy Spirit was so gentle with me.

One day he called me as I was preparing to leave for an evening service. I asked him if he wanted to know Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior...he said yes and we prayed.

From that day on, there was total peace in my heart and we never had a bitter word up until the day he died. God used this powerful way of His love to deliver me from all of the hurts I lived in my former marriage...through his Word.

The biggest honor is that God 'trusted' me to do this...

My ex died way before his time (so to speak), drug use weakened his heart. He was in the prime of his life; but the prayer not only healed me, but it bought him closer to our children, who were able to build a very strong relationship before he died. They were able to 'know' him and love him and not have the wall that had kept us divided for so long after our divorce.

Here's another miracle, the prayers extended his life longer than the doctor's had given him. They had only given him a few months to live and instead he lived waaaayyyyy, past that time frame (5 years after the prayer) and in good spirits and in strength. God gave this man strength enough to enjoy being with our children that he and I gave birth to.

I know it's hard in many cases, but it pays to forgive and pray, for there is far more power in it than we realize. It carries life with it. Long life.

For those of you struggling with 'forgiveness', you are NOT weak. You are human. And don't worry how it may look to others. You need the release from the bondage of being angry with the person or persons. As long as we have an ought in our heart towards them, it imprisons us, not them. Most of the time, it is 'we' who really suffer not the offender.

I understand how you may feel. And to each one who struggles, I give you love; love which overflows and takes over so that you can take your life back again and move on.

Thank you for sharing, Shimmie. God can use us in every situation.

 

[Mocha5]

This is definitely something that I've been needing to hear. I've been struggling with this for quite sometime now. The thing is I want to forgive those who have hurt me, but I feel like by forgiving them I'm being a doormat or they think they can keep doing the same things to me over and over again. One day I had to get a little fiesty with someone and my husband's aunt says to me, "Oh, so you do have a backbone." I would like to think that just because I don't argue with people doesn't mean that I don't have a backbone. Meakness doesn't equal weakness, right?

Meekness doesn't equal weakness. It equals humbleness. Something more of us could use.

But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace. Psa 37:11

 

[Mocha5]

I am in a situation like this right now. It seems so hard to just let go of this thing that someone has done to me. I guess it is harder to release the hurt that is associated with their actions. I feel like I am hurting so badly, even to the point of being heartbroken.

I made up in my mind to not be angry and forgive this person, but for some reason the anger left and the hurt is still going strong. I don't know what else to do about it. I have sought the Lord and been seeking the Lord about this thing for over about a month now and it just won't go away. God, I need some help. Any word of advice on this one would be greatly appreciated.

This sounds like a natural progression to me. First comes the anger then the sadness (hurt). It may feel like it's not diminishing but it definitely shouldn't be getting stronger. Make sure you're not adding to the hurt by blaming yourself. If you had any part in the situation forgive yourself as well. Now you need to decide that you have grieved long enough. This can be hard because it means that we are now forced to do something else other than feeling sorry for ourselves. That something else may mean getting you mind, body, spirit, finances, career, etc. in order so that you don't find yourself in that same situation again. Whatever it is, do it! It's time to move pass the hurt and start living again! Be blessed, Chica. God loves you and He will see you through this. Stay prayerful.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

*Disclaimer: God put this on my heart two weeks ago. Please entertain me as I am obedient.

I thank God today for His mercy and grace. I've done things that are so contrary to Him. I've done things that are so unholy in His sight. Yet He chose to forgive me. He has cleansed me and made me as white as snow. And even when I mess up now, He still forgives me.

So why then is it so hard for us to forgive others? We've all been wronged at some point and time. The offense may be huge like being abused physically, emotionally, or spiritually by someone we love. Or maybe the offense is small like someone failed to keep a promise or spoke to you in a hurtful way. While the offense can range from the smallest to the greatest, the end result should always be the same: forgiveness. Why? Because He forgave us. It's really that simple.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Mt. 6:14, 15

Forgiveness is stretching yourelf in love to say, "Ok, you have hurt me. But I realize that you are flawed because I, too, am flawed. Because neither of us are perfect, I am no longer going to be angry with you for hurting me." Forgiveness is not taking someone back. It's not silencing your voice. It's not giving up your right to due process. It's not allowing someone to continuously hurt you. And it's not agreeing with nor okaying the offense. But it IS releasing yourself.

Unforgiveness is akin to having a chain wrapped around your neck with a brick attached for EVERY offense that you have chosen not to forgive. And while this chain and it's bricks may not be visible, the affects most certainly are. They manifest themselves in your life as sickness, overeating, depression, bitterness, etc.

But forgiveness is the exact opposite affect. It can have such a therapeutic affect on your life resulting in joy, wellness, and strength. Just to name a few.

Release somebody today and release yourselff!!!

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 1Col 3:13

Brought to you by Mocha5's Couch Ministry (Thanks, Shimmie).

I love this......

 

[Mocha5]

[/b]

I love this......

Thanks, girl. If I ever write a book of devotionals I already have my title, huh?

 

[Mocha5]

I hope this testimony of 'Forgiveness' helps...I shared this in another thread a few days ago. Mocha5, can you see how much your 'word' is in season and how it continues to flow?

Shimmie, I think you're on to something. This definitely seems to be a season of forgiveness.

 

[thegirltolove]

This sounds like a natural progression to me. First comes the anger then the sadness (hurt). It may feel like it's not diminishing but it definitely shouldn't be getting stronger. Make sure you're not adding to the hurt by blaming yourself. If you had any part in the situation forgive yourself as well. Now you need to decide that you have grieved long enough. This can be hard because it means that we are now forced to do something else other than feeling sorry for ourselves. That something else may mean getting you mind, body, spirit, finances, career, etc. in order so that you don't find yourself in that same situation again. Whatever it is, do it! It's time to move pass the hurt and start living again! Be blessed, Chica. God loves you and He will see you through this. Stay prayerful.

Thank you so much for the word. I realized that it was time to move on. I made that decision. It is unusual, but when I wrote that comment the other day, that was the last time that I hurt about the situation. I made a choice to let it go....REALLY LET IT GO! God honored my decision and He comforted me in a way that was so amazing! It wasn't something that I had to "feel" emotionally, but I made the decision in my spirit and I thank God that he looked past my emotions and saw my true desire. He told me the other night that He was proud of me. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO ME!?!?!?!?!? I have never heard God tell me that He was proud of me. I feel like I am at a different place. It made it a lot easier to let it go once I realized that my attitude was getting in the way of Kingdom business. As long as I was in the "rut" that I was in, I couldn't give God the glory that was due to Him. I couldn't love Him the way that I needed to because this anger and hurt was consuming my heart, my mind and my strength. He couldn't keep me in perfect peace because my mind wasn't on Him.

I also had to realize that the enemy wanted to keep me in a place of hurt, because as long as I am there, I am only selfishly focused on me and not focusing on the mission that God has set before me. I got work to do ya'll and I can't afford to let the things that go on around me affect the work that the Lord has TRUSTED me with. I don't know about anybody else, but the work that God has given me to do, and the fact that He trusted me with it is far greater than any suffering that I go through.

I thank you ladies for the encouragement. Mocha5, I thank you for being obedient and sharing this Word with us. I know it helped me. I will be on my way to Iraq in about a week to do the Lord's work, and God knows that I didn't need anymore distractions. God is good. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Be blessed ladies!

 

[Mocha5]

Thank you so much for the word. I realized that it was time to move on. I made that decision. It is unusual, but when I wrote that comment the other day, that was the last time that I hurt about the situation. I made a choice to let it go....REALLY LET IT GO! God honored my decision and He comforted me in a way that was so amazing! It wasn't something that I had to "feel" emotionally, but I made the decision in my spirit and I thank God that he looked past my emotions and saw my true desire. He told me the other night that He was proud of me. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO ME!?!?!?!?!? I have never heard God tell me that He was proud of me. I feel like I am at a different place. It made it a lot easier to let it go once I realized that my attitude was getting in the way of Kingdom business. As long as I was in the "rut" that I was in, I couldn't give God the glory that was due to Him. I couldn't love Him the way that I needed to because this anger and hurt was consuming my heart, my mind and my strength. He couldn't keep me in perfect peace because my mind wasn't on Him.

I also had to realize that the enemy wanted to keep me in a place of hurt, because as long as I am there, I am only selfishly focused on me and not focusing on the mission that God has set before me. I got work to do ya'll and I can't afford to let the things that go on around me affect the work that the Lord has TRUSTED me with. I don't know about anybody else, but the work that God has given me to do, and the fact that He trusted me with it is far greater than any suffering that I go through.

I thank you ladies for the encouragement. Mocha5, I thank you for being obedient and sharing this Word with us. I know it helped me. I will be on my way to Iraq in about a week to do the Lord's work, and God knows that I didn't need anymore distractions. God is good. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Be blessed ladies!

You so blessed me with this today. Thank you. I am crying tears of joy for you. Not only is God proud of you but so am I! In your healing, you wrote a word to heal others.

Take care of yourself, Mamacita. God has plans for you. He will cover you and keep you safe always. The word that God gave me today must be for you:

Walk around the streets of Jerusalem. Look around, and think about these things. Search the city squares. See if you can find anyone who does what is right and seeks the truth. Then I will forgive Jerusalem.
-Jeremiah 5:1

Looks like you definitely have some work to do over there. Keep doing what is right and seeking the truth. I will be praying for you.

 

[thegirltolove]

You so blessed me with this today. Thank you. I am crying tears of joy for you. Not only is God proud of you but so am I! In your healing, you wrote a word to heal others.

Take care of yourself, Mamacita. God has plans for you. He will cover you and keep you safe always. The word that God gave me today must be for you:

Walk around the streets of Jerusalem. Look around, and think about these things. Search the city squares. See if you can find anyone who does what is right and seeks the truth. Then I will forgive Jerusalem.
-Jeremiah 5:1

Looks like you definitely have some work to do over there. Keep doing what is right and seeking the truth. I will be praying for you.

Thank you so much Lady. You have no idea how much I appreciate you. God bless you.

 

[indigodiva]

Mocha, I would see this thread bumped to the top of this section, and I just woudn't click on it..I had an inkling about what it was about, and I did not want to forgive the person who hurt me...I mean its like I was willingly saying, No, I'd rather harbor ill feelings toward him, b/c he hurt me so bad, and he does not deserve my forgiveness

But as you made it plain..who I am I not to forgive?

Do ya'll know this buster even had the nerve to ask me to send him some Christian music from my collection...this same sucker broke my heart, on multiple occasions, treated me like I was nothing after a whole year of dating, done hooked up with a child....but he is ready to change the genre of music he listens to, so he asked me for it...I would have emailed the files but i wasnt having issues with it, so I made him two CDs..and even after I made them, I am struggling with the idea that I need to send them...its like why should I be nice and do anything for you after the way you treated me..what kind of fool are you for even asking me for anything!!!!!!!!

But I guess I need to be obedient and send the music..If it wasn't for the encouragement I received from being ministered to thru j. moss, kirk franklin, yolanda adams an 'nem..I would still be in bad shape emotionally

There is a law of reciprocity, and eventually we all reap what we sow good or bad...I have a feeling he is going to need that same kind of encouragement as the time passes...maybe that's why I dont want to send it...I mean, say what you want, deep down when someone causes you pain, you want them to suffer too...Its weird tho...i don't want to send the cd's (bad enough I have to pay for the postage! )...but I don't want him to be un-equipped b/c I suppose i still care about what happens to him (i mean I dont want to even care, but I can't just turn if off)

And besides, my ex forgave me after all the heinous things I put him through...Forgiveness is a really funny thing...you don't find out about the magnitude of it until you've really had somebody do you wrong...Its a hard thing to do, but when you let self go, and let God work through you, that's when he gives you your breakthrough, and the hurt that was associated with that wrong doing dissipates---and it is replaced with that peace talked about in Philippians 4:7

I guess I better package up these two CD's

 

[Mocha5]

Mocha, I would see this thread bumped to the top of this section, and I just woudn't click on it..I had an inkling about what it was about, and I did not want to forgive the person who hurt me...

It's ok, girlfriend. God knew you would enter eventually. He's patient like that. He was gonna "bump" it until you knew clearly He was speaking to you.


I mean its like I was willingly saying, No, I'd rather harbor ill feelings toward him, b/c he hurt me so bad, and he does not deserve my forgiveness

But as you made it plain..who I am I not to forgive?

Do ya'll know this buster even had the nerve to ask me to send him some Christian music from my collection...this same sucker broke my heart, on multiple occasions, treated me like I was nothing after a whole year of dating, done hooked up with a child....but he is ready to change the genre of music he listens to, so he asked me for it...I would have emailed the files but i wasnt having issues with it, so I made him two CDs..and even after I made them, I am struggling with the idea that I need to send them...its like why should I be nice and do anything for you after the way you treated me..what kind of fool are you for even asking me for anything!!!!!!!!

ummm...he's not really a fool. He sees your light and wants some of it. As offensive as it is to him, he is also very drawn to it.

But I guess I need to be obedient and send the music..If it wasn't for the encouragement I received from being ministered to thru j. moss, kirk franklin, yolanda adams an 'nem..I would still be in bad shape emotionally

There is a law of reciprocity, and eventually we all reap what we sow good or bad...I have a feeling he is going to need that same kind of encouragement as the time passes...maybe that's why I dont want to send it...I mean, say what you want, deep down when someone causes you pain, you want them to suffer too...Its weird tho...i don't want to send the cd's (bad enough I have to pay for the postage! )...but I don't want him to be un-equipped b/c I suppose i still care about what happens to him (i mean I dont want to even care, but I can't just turn if off)

It's just called having a lovin' heart. That's how we want to be.

And besides, my ex forgave me after all the heinous things I put him through...Forgiveness is a really funny thing...you don't find out about the magnitude of it until you've really had somebody do you wrong...Its a hard thing to do, but when you let self go, and let God work through you, that's when he gives you your breakthrough, and the hurt that was associated with that wrong doing dissipates---and it is replaced with that peace talked about in Philippians 4:7

I guess I better package up these two CD's

Yep. yep. Hurry. God probably has an unbelieveable blessing waiting for you as a result of your obedience. A blessing that you would not have received had you chosen not to forgive.

 

[blazingthru]

I don't struggle with this issue and I think thats the problem. I do go through phases of forgiveness, so far in my life there hasn't been anything I couldn't forgive, there has been things I could not forget but I do forgive easily betrayal is the hardest thing to forgive, I must admit, its so biting. I had a hard time with this it took me about two months to forgive someone for a major betrayal but I did and I am good friends with the person now but I never tell this person anything I don't want repeated, not a word. My entire mind goes numb if something like it comes up. Money no problem, I only lend an amount that I can safely forget about. I decided to do it and not expect it back then I am not upset if I never get it. It was a problem for me and this was how I resolved it.