Where to start? My hair is in a sorry state and that needs to change!

[alarafan]

Thank you all for the warm welcome for a newbie! I have put a photo of my hair here. Yes, I know, its in a sorry sorry state.

I just don't know how to take care of it properly, so I want to start from scratch. The ABCs of looking after my hair.

It is very thick - relaxed - broken off at the back - very tight curls.

I need to start a haircare routine that won't break the bank.
Well, what I would NORMALLY do is put in some 'Pink' moisturiser every couple of days. Brush it and try to ignore all the hair left on the comb! every so often relax the roots (elasta QP for resistant hair).

I can see you all shaking your heads - help a sister out and tell me where to go from here please!

I see different threads about elasticity and protien etc but it is all going over my head. Please would someone break down some of the basics for me or direct me to any threads that go through some of the basics.

Many thanks

 

[alarafan]

here is the picture

 

[Liege4421]

how long do you stretch between relaxers, and how processed is your hair? It looks to me like you may have breakage at the line of demarcation or you are underprocessed. Do you relax yourself? You said you relax every so often...how often is that?

I would suggest you first start with an ApHogee Treatment to help you combat breakage. It's not expensive. Do you deep condition your hair? There is a deep conditioning challenge, and there is a LHCF bootcamp challenge. Both of these will help you sort out a regimen that will work for you. I would suggest you start DCing at least once a week. There are a lot of products you can use that are not expensive. Most of the ApHogee line is not expensive, and you can make some deep conditioning treatments in the kitchen for much less. I use a cheap conditioner and baking soda to clarify, egg treatments when I need protein, etc. Suave Humectress is a good moisturizing conditioner and it is only 2 dollars at most. HTH

 

[Sequoia]

Welcome to the board.

A good place to start is to have a look at Sistalick's Hair Regimen building article so you can know what the basics of hair care are:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/288340/hair_regimen_building_for_newbies.html?cat=69

It might be an idea to hold off from the relaxers until you get your hair healthy again. Is the Elasta QP a super strength formula? Maybe it's too much for your hair?

 

[newflowers]

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50291

I suggest you start here - the newcomers guide to starting out. Much of the information you need is on the boards, but starting with the stickies is best because you can find information arranged by category specific to your current inquiry. If you keep your focus on YOUR needs, you're less likely to get caught up in buying every raved and reviewed product.

Questions for you:

What products do you use - shampoo, conditioner (moisture and protein), deep conditioner (moisture and protein), leave in, light oil to seal (and darling girl - drop the pink stuff now)

How often do you intend to do your hair? I'm a twice a week girl, others once a week, others every day - what fits your schedule so you can be consistent?

Will you consider cutting to even up or wearing braids to let your hair grow out?

What, exactly, do you want for yourself? I should have asked that question first. Do you want to stay relaxed? Do you want to be natural? What are your hair goals - I always suggest health over length - long hair wil jagged ratty ends is not an attractive look and shorter healthy hair is always better than dried out, breaking longer hair.

I am sure that many other ladies will give you excellent advice. Keep your routine simple for you so you'll stay consistent, use the highest quality products you can afford, DO NOT go out and buy everything in the world. Clean, well conditioned hair consistently cared for is the ticket to healthy longer hair.

 

[jennboo]

Hi Alarafan,

I would say your hair needs some intensive deep conditioning, protein conditioner followed by a moisturizing conditioner, to halt the breakage and infuse some hydration.

From the looks of your picture, you have severe breakage.... majority new growth and broken pieces of relaxed hair.

Are you trying to stay natural or go relaxed?

Either way, whether you want to stay natural or go relaxed, it'd be beneficial to really start from scratch and cut off the damaged hair.

You can care for your natural hair until it is strong/healthy/moisturized and at a desirable length then relax it if you want...at least then you will have healthy hair that will serve as a better foundation to put chemicals on. I would NOT continue to relax in the state that your hair is in right now.

If along the way you fall in love with your natural hair, you can opt to continue.

 

[Pandora1975]

A few years ago I was in the hospital. It was horribly dry in there, and when I came out, my hair looked almost like that. Relaxing made it worse. I DCd and braided until the back grew out some. You see for me, when my hair is bad, I tend to finger it alot, breaking it even more. Braids fix that.

 

[Ladyhenri]

Thank you all for the warm welcome for a newbie! I have put a photo of my hair here. Yes, I know, its in a sorry sorry state.

I just don't know how to take care of it properly, so I want to start from scratch. The ABCs of looking after my hair.

It is very thick - relaxed - broken off at the back - very tight curls.

I need to start a haircare routine that won't break the bank.
Well, what I would NORMALLY do is put in some 'Pink' moisturiser every couple of days. Brush it and try to ignore all the hair left on the comb! every so often relax the roots (elasta QP for resistant hair).

I can see you all shaking your heads - help a sister out and tell me where to go from here please!

I see different threads about elasticity and protien etc but it is all going over my head. Please would someone break down some of the basics for me or direct me to any threads that go through some of the basics.

Many thanks

Welcome Newbie!!

I can totally understand how you feel....when i first joined there was a lot of information but i was still totally confused.

For starters, i think you should get a clarifying shampoo (nexxus aloe rid is good.. clarify to get rid of buildup.


Secondly, get a Deep conditioner. Le Kair Cholesterol Plus is very good and very cheap. You need to deep condition weekly so you will need to stock up.
Deep condition after every wash.


Thirdly Get a good leave in Conditioner. Elasta QP H20, Aphogee Green Tea Restructuriser, etc, which you will use after every DC

Then a different daily moisturiser. I love profectiv Break Free.
And a sealing oil. Your local asian shop may have unrefined or virgin coconut oil. That will do.
Moisturise and seal in sections daily.


Oh and please retire your brush. You need a wide tooth comb, and even this should be used very infrequently. I only comb once a week after i shampoo.


Right now, you also need a style that will let you leave your hair and avoid manipulating your fragile strands.
When i first joined, my hair was neck length and i could just about smooth it into a tiny pony. I did this after every wash then bagged my ends, then put a phony pony on top of the baggy. I did this for about 8 months, until my hair was long enough to start wearing up.

Some ladies use braids or weaves,
but i wont recommend using those till your hair is strong enough to handle them.

Oh and finally, on your relaxing, please never relax in less than 8 weeks this increases the risk of over processing and further damage.
And i would seriously consider changing relaxers. No matter how tough your hair may seem, i seriously doubt that you need a super based on your pictures. You just need to keep it soft and moisturized so that it is easier to manage.


This is a skeleton regimen. With time you will learn more and be able to tweak as you see fit.

 

[jerseygurl]

Welcome Alafaran. I see the ladies have already given good advice. I know all the information might seem overwhelming but remember we want health before length. So read Sistaslick's column, and the newbie's guide to starting out before anything else.

Then clarify your hair, give yourself a good protein treatment like Aphogee two step treatment (do you have a dryer?). If you don't then I would suggest Ultrasheen Duotex, it's also a protein treatment. Make sure you use a moisturizing deep conditioner after to soften your hair.

So take a deep breath and release ~whoosah~. It will be alright.

Oh and don't jump on each and every bandwagon out there. Research each product carefully before you buy. HTH

Happy hair growing

 

[guyanesesista]

Hi Alarafan,

I would say your hair needs some intensive deep conditioning, protein conditioner followed by a moisturizing conditioner, to halt the breakage and infuse some hydration.

From the looks of your picture, you have severe breakage.... majority new growth and broken pieces of relaxed hair.

Are you trying to stay natural or go relaxed?

Either way, whether you want to stay natural or go relaxed, it'd be beneficial to really start from scratch and cut off the damaged hair.

You can care for your natural hair until it is strong/healthy/moisturized and at a desirable length then relax it if you want...at least then you will have healthy hair that will serve as a better foundation to put chemicals on. I would NOT continue to relax in the state that your hair is in right now.

If along the way you fall in love with your natural hair, you can opt to continue.

Ditto on going natural first. I really makes no sense to relax again until your hair is healthy. When I was 12 I had a issue similar to yours and my grandmother braided my hair until all the relaxed ends fell of and she nurtured it for nine months until my hair was healthy again then relaxed it. During that time she washed my hair with balsam shampoo and conditioner and deep conditioned it with egg and olive oil for an hour every two weeks. Then she would grease my scalp with olive and brown vaseline, braid me up and leave my hair alone till next wash day. She thought balsam shampoos and conditioners could fix anything by the way. Granny knew her stuff. I never used balsam products again, maybe I should revisit. It turned out great. So you may want to consider starting over. Whatever you decide, Goodluck.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Welcome to the board.

A good place to start is to have a look at Sistalick's Hair Regimen building article so you can know what the basics of hair care are:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/288340/hair_regimen_building_for_newbies.html?cat=69

It might be an idea to hold off from the relaxers until you get your hair healthy again. Is the Elasta QP a super strength formula? Maybe it's too much for your hair?

ITA.....this is how I started.

 

[Urban]

I think the other ladies are addressing all the other areas but I wanted to address combing, because it's made a big difference for me....

1) I think one of the first things to change is the way you comb your hair. Unavoidably you will get some hair come out, but there shouldn't be a huge ball of it. I know in Southern Africa, being gentle with your hair is hardly ever taught, and many are of the mentality that a) combing hard is ok and b) all that hair that came out from the comb attack should've come out anyway.

2) With the condition of your hair, I don't know that you should comb your hair dry. I recommend combing while it's wet, in the shower would probably work best.

3) To make combing easier (because I see that your natural curl pattern is very tight) you need a good conditioner that will make detangling and combing easier. I personally use Herbal Essences Hello Hydration, and there are many ladies here who use it for that purpose. There are others who don't like it and you can do a search to find out their qualms or search for what conditioners others are using.

4) Once you've got conditioner in your hair. Please don't start to rake from root to tip. That is, straight from the scalp to the end of your hair . Instead, do it the other way round i.e take a small section of hair, start combing the last centimetre (the ends) of that section and make sure that's detangled. Then move up to the last 2 cm, so that you're combing the same first 1cm, plus the next cm on top of that and so on. arrrrghh, don't know if that makes sense, i'm a picture person so here goes:



Same section of hair, just where you're placing the comb to start combing is changing. So you comb #1, make sure that's detangled. Comb #2 then #3 etc

5) Finally, treat your hair like fine silk! Just like anything else around us, if it's prone to breakage, we try and put less pressure on it ... same with hair.

Sorry if I'm telling you what you already know. I guess I'm writing this because it's a post I wish I could've read when I started taking care of my hair. Hope it helps .

 

[LynnieB]

I think the other ladies are addressing all the other areas but I wanted to address combing, because it's made a big difference for me....


4) Once you've got conditioner in your hair. Please don't start to rake from root to tip. That is, straight from the scalp to the end of your hair . Instead, do it the other way round i.e take a small section of hair, start combing the last centimetre (the ends) of that section and make sure that's detangled. Then move up to the last 2 cm, so that you're combing the same first 1cm, plus the next cm on top of that and so on. arrrrghh, don't know if that makes sense, i'm a picture person so here goes:



Same section of hair, just where you're placing the comb to start combing is changing. So you comb #1, make sure that's detangled. Comb #2 then #3 etc

OMG Urban! Great hair saving advice here! It's the only way I detangle my stuff but you have described it BEAUTIFULLY.

Seriously though, this should be made a sticky somewhere on this and every other hairboard because it's easy to understand and more importantly, because it works!

 

[alarafan]

how long do you stretch between relaxers, and how processed is your hair? It looks to me like you may have breakage at the line of demarcation or you are underprocessed. Do you relax yourself? You said you relax every so often...how often is that?
. HTH

I don't relax my hair myself - I would be too scared of burning my scalp and not applying it correctly! A few times a year I will go to the salon but normally its my mum or my sister doing it. I try to do it every six weeks or so, but what with exams etc its been more like 9-10 weeks now

I would suggest you first start with an ApHogee Treatment to help you combat breakage. It's not expensive. Do you deep condition your hair? There is a deep conditioning challenge, and there is a LHCF bootcamp challenge. Both of these will help you sort out a regimen that will work for you. I would suggest you start DCing at least once a week. There are a lot of products you can use that are not expensive. Most of the ApHogee line is not expensive, and you can make some deep conditioning treatments in the kitchen for much less. I use a cheap conditioner and baking soda to clarify, egg treatments when I need protein, etc. Suave Humectress is a good moisturizing conditioner and it is only 2 dollars at most. HTH

thanks for the tips - I have henna which I try to give myself a treatment with whenever I get time.

It might be an idea to hold off from the relaxers until you get your hair healthy again. Is the Elasta QP a super strength formula? Maybe it's too much for your hair?

Thanks - I use the super strength one because with a normal one, sometimes it does not even look like its had a relaxer, even after following the instructions - but yes, I will reconsider the strength of the relaxer I use.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50291
Questions for you:
What products do you use - shampoo, conditioner (moisture and protein), deep conditioner (moisture and protein), leave in, light oil to seal (and darling girl - drop the pink stuff now)
.

I have it all laid out on the bed here. Shampoo - I bought something organic from Lush (moisturising seaweed or something or another)
Conditionner Lush H'swan wen hwa or the American Cream- (Organic again.) Daily I put Lush Dream Cream in (yeah, i know its for skin but is all natural oils and stuff, handmade so it cant hurt...)
Then sometimes I put in a keraCare protein styling gel if I am putting on a fake pony tail or I will spray Elasta QP glaze on it for a bit of shine.
Thats all folks.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50291
How often do you intend to do your hair? I'm a twice a week girl, others once a week, others every day - what fits your schedule so you can be consistent?
.

Once a week for me - twice a week if we're pushing it.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50291
Will you consider cutting to even up or wearing braids to let your hair grow out?
What, exactly, do you want for yourself? I should have asked that question first. Do you want to stay relaxed? Do you want to be natural? What are your hair goals - I always suggest health over length - long hair wil jagged ratty ends is not an attractive look and shorter healthy hair is always better than dried out, breaking longer hair.
.

I would prefer not to cut it - in my corporate environment I'm not too sure how that would go down and I don't really want something drastic. I HATE getting braids done so that's not for me - maybe a weave though. I want to stay relaxed and just for my hair to look smart and be healthy.

Hi Alarafan,

I would say your hair needs some intensive deep conditioning, protein conditioner followed by a moisturizing conditioner, to halt the breakage and infuse some hydration.

From the looks of your picture, you have severe breakage.... majority new growth and broken pieces of relaxed hair.

Are you trying to stay natural or go relaxed?

Either way, whether you want to stay natural or go relaxed, it'd be beneficial to really start from scratch and cut off the damaged hair.

You can care for your natural hair until it is strong/healthy/moisturized and at a desirable length then relax it if you want...at least then you will have healthy hair that will serve as a better foundation to put chemicals on. I would NOT continue to relax in the state that your hair is in right now.

If along the way you fall in love with your natural hair, you can opt to continue.

Thanks, I hear you. I just do not want to cut my hair short. Maybe I would if I had a weave over it if I cut it, but I want to avoid that if possible. I know the eurocentric perspective has really affected how we look at our hair and that we should love our kinks, but I'm just not at that place right now where I would go natural again.

A few years ago I was in the hospital. It was horribly dry in there, and when I came out, my hair looked almost like that. Relaxing made it worse. I DCd and braided until the back grew out some. You see for me, when my hair is bad, I tend to finger it alot, breaking it even more. Braids fix that.

Yeah, I do that at the back but I just don't think braids are for me.

Thanks for all the replies - I will go away for a bit to take it all in & do my homework.

 

[Bachelorette]

Im still baffled at the number of people that use Pink Lotion. shouldnt that crap be banned?

 

[Fine 4s]

There is nowhere to go but up now!!! So congrats on that aspect...
I don't have much to add other than emotional support (?) since you've gotten good advice already....with patience and a solid regimen, you'll be good as new.
Do you have a buddy from this site yet?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I say Let it Rest. Keep the Heat off of it and Cut Down on the Manipulation. I am in the process of recovering from losing 90% of my Hair to Chemical Damage.

The first thing I did was Researched everything that was going on with my Particular Condition (brittle, dry, damaged, porous, breaking). Then I bought products accordingly.

The thing I did not do was: Immediately trying to get another relaxer, run to another Salon, start cutting, getting weaves, braids etc.....I just Let My Hair REST. Just Rest.

I Washed and Conditioned it Well once a week and wore it: As is. Regardless of How bad it looked. And I am in the Public Eye on a Daily Basis in my Profession, but Oh Well. It is what it is.

Getting my hair back on track was first and foremost, regardless of how it looked, but more importantly for me: "How Others Thought It Looked." I discovered "My Hair" and worked with what I had left.

I found my Protein/Moisture Balance, I got my Porosity Issues straightened around, and I incorporated Vitamins/Supplements into my Regimen. I did use a Growth Aid (MT) since I had patches and bald spots all throughout. They recovered quickly. And I just Let My Poor Head Rest a while.

IMO: When you start trying to do too much, you just set yourself up for Failure. I had to slow it waaaay down. Because your natural Instinct is to see How Fast You Can Fix it. Unfortunately, it just takes time.

 

[alarafan]

Im still baffled at the number of people that use Pink Lotion. shouldnt that crap be banned?

I've just always heard - if you want to keep your hair moisturised you better use that Pink Lotion!

 

[alarafan]

There is nowhere to go but up now!!! So congrats on that aspect...
I don't have much to add other than emotional support (?) since you've gotten good advice already....with patience and a solid regimen, you'll be good as new.
Do you have a buddy from this site yet?

Thanks - I'm going to take some time out to figure out what is the best regimen for me and for my hair. I don't have a 'buddy' if you mean a specific 'running-mate' type person - just lots of friendly ladies (& a guy too)

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

aw man, pink lotion is the devil i used that after i colored my hair in college for like a whole bottle and i was so dry and tangled and breaking... when i stopped it I was fine... of course after i had to chop 3 inches off to even it out...

 

[msa]

You've gotten some great advice. I just wanted to add that instead of getting a weave, have you considered half wigs? Since you're trying to take care of your hair and be proactive, I don't think a weave is a good idea right now. You need to be able to assess your hair as you go forward and it'll be harder to do under a weave. Also, the braiding and sewing may just be too much for you hair right now.

I think a half wig (or even a lacefront that you just pin on) would be a good choice for you because then you could take it off every day. And you wouldn't have to manipulate your hair too much.

Chavascandy has amazing retention wearing wigs, check her out. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=371503

You may also want to check out the wig challenges for tips and wig suggestions.

 

[Bachelorette]

I've just always heard - if you want to keep your hair moisturised you better use that Pink Lotion!

Baby Girl. No. That thing is killing your hair. Moisturize your hair with ORS carrot Oil or Olive Oil Lotion or Cantu Shea Butter leave in. They're just as cheap and wont suffocate your hair with mineral oil/petroleum.

I've wrestled Pink Oil from the hands of many and I will continue to do so.

 

[Freespirit02]

Thank you all for the warm welcome for a newbie! I have put a photo of my hair here. Yes, I know, its in a sorry sorry state.

I just don't know how to take care of it properly, so I want to start from scratch. The ABCs of looking after my hair.

It is very thick - relaxed - broken off at the back - very tight curls.

I need to start a haircare routine that won't break the bank.
Well, what I would NORMALLY do is put in some 'Pink' moisturiser every couple of days. Brush it and try to ignore all the hair left on the comb! every so often relax the roots (elasta QP for resistant hair).

I can see you all shaking your heads - help a sister out and tell me where to go from here please!

I see different threads about elasticity and protien etc but it is all going over my head. Please would someone break down some of the basics for me or direct me to any threads that go through some of the basics.

Many thanks

It's okay mama, don't feel bad! I'm kinda new here..and trust me these ladies will take care of you. If I were you..this is my own opinion..i would cut off the relaxed part..and stay natural for a while. Start putting conditioner on your hair daily..and sealing with an oil..like coconut or almond..( i think castor oil would be the cheaper alternative)! Don't be afraid to ask questions..we are here to help not to judge...

 

[Platinum]

Thank you all for the warm welcome for a newbie! I have put a photo of my hair here. Yes, I know, its in a sorry sorry state.

I just don't know how to take care of it properly, so I want to start from scratch. The ABCs of looking after my hair.

It is very thick - relaxed - broken off at the back - very tight curls.

I need to start a haircare routine that won't break the bank.
Well, what I would NORMALLY do is put in some 'Pink' moisturiser every couple of days. Brush it and try to ignore all the hair left on the comb! every so often relax the roots (elasta QP for resistant hair).

I can see you all shaking your heads - help a sister out and tell me where to go from here please!

I see different threads about elasticity and protien etc but it is all going over my head. Please would someone break down some of the basics for me or direct me to any threads that go through some of the basics.

Many thanks

Welcome! Your hair looks just like mine did when I joined LHCF. I suggest you stop relaxing for a while. Maybe you could try a 6 month stretch or even transition to natural. I wouldn't suggest braids or sew-ins until you can improve the condition of your hair.

You've been given great advice. Good luck and happy hair growing.

 

[unalteredone]

I know that going natural sounds scary but from the look of the damage in your picture to me cutting off your relaxed hair seems like the best option. I think that the amount of new growth you now have can look professional in a corporate environment.

Just out of curiosity, how do you style your hair for work? I think that cutting off your relaxed hair and investing in some nice (lacefront?) wigs would be the best way to maintain your daily image as well as the health of your hair.

 

[locabouthair]

You've gotten some great advice. I just wanted to add that instead of getting a weave, have you considered half wigs? Since you're trying to take care of your hair and be proactive, I don't think a weave is a good idea right now. You need to be able to assess your hair as you go forward and it'll be harder to do under a weave. Also, the braiding and sewing may just be too much for you hair right now.

I think a half wig (or even a lacefront that you just pin on) would be a good choice for you because then you could take it off every day. And you wouldn't have to manipulate your hair too much.

Chavascandy has amazing retention wearing wigs, check her out. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=371503

You may also want to check out the wig challenges for tips and wig suggestions.

I agree with this.

OP my hair is broken off also and I've been wearing a half wig.
I wash and DC once a week. And I make sure to moisturize my hair once a day. My nape broke off really badly too and I made sure to not relax it for a while and to moisturize it once a day. It grew back.

I think a half wig is best because they are cheaper then weaves, you can buy a synthetic one for $20 versus paying $120 plus for a weave and you can take care of your hair underneath. I know whenever my hair is damaged or looks it's worst, it's hard for me not to focus on that so I think hiding your hair is a good option so you can take your mind off it.

Keep us updated..my hair is broken off badly too and taking a break from relaxing is helping.

Keep us updated and it will get better! Dont get discouraged. We're in this together

 

[newflowers]

The wig is a great idea - make sure you have a silk stocking cap (i think that's the right thing - one of the ladies will chime in and let you know) underneath to prevent any sort of undue stress on your hair. If you go with that great idea, you can still wash, condition, deep condition, moisturize, and take really good care of your hair while it's healing and growing. You can take you time before you relax again - don't let anyone pressure you into relaxing until your hair stops breaking. Keep it moisturized - that is going to be key - and use protein as needed. Deep conditioning at least once a week is your hair's best friend.

 

[ceebee3]

I don't have anything really helpful to add, I just wanted to say good luck. Also, I think you have a really great texture and I'm completely jealous that your hair is sooooooo thick.

 

[Evolving78]

how do you feel about wearing a twa? that is what i would do. i would do a drastic cut and start from scratch. i would leave the relaxer alone until i could get my hair back healthy again. i would dc once or twice a week and just keep my hair moisturized.