When you just want to vent??

SophieDulce

SophieDulce

Well-Known Member
I have a friend who's always going through shyt, so she's always dragging these long convo's out . I'll giver her some practical solutions to solve her ishhh and it goes completely over her head........ What do you do??? I'm over being her damn listening ear lol. Of course being the libra that I am I'll give her a list of multiple options of things she could do to make the situation better.
 
janiebaby said:
I really think there should be a support group for friends.......whatever makes elderly people snap and tell people what the heck is on their mind is starting to happen.
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I need to know too. I posted the above the other day because I'm done. I've been going through this for years with the same person. It's kinda like....if I give you a $5... either hold on to the $5 or multiply it. Don't come asking me for a $5 every daggone day :(

I feel like I can't win. Either I tell her things she can do and she'll say "well why should I do blah blah blah" or I can say do something else and she'll say "it won't work" or I can tell her like it is (which I did) and I'm being mean. That's my problem! I try too hard not be mean!

Nothing she ever says is positive and it's just draining. Our last couple of convos I felt like interrupting with "don't you know no good?" (but didn't).
 
Since I want to be solution focused....

Maybe cutting the convos short with the person may work?
Coming up with an excuse and leaving the person's presence?
Asking about something you know the person is happy about and keep focusing on that?
Saying....."I don't know" when asked what should the person do?
 
Lol.....I'm a natural listener and people ALWAYS tell me their problems. Even people i barely know. I never give advice unless asked. Are they just venting (sounds like it) or asking for genuine help. I would just tell them if you aren't the type to just listen without offering solutions.
 
I had a friend who did this and I finally told her that it was draining me and that she should seek professional help for her problems. I told her that I wish I could help her but that I was not a professional and I was too close to her to be objective -- in essence I cared too much. After that she left me alone for years.
 
Oh my goodness. I am going through this with a cousin of mine. She doesn't get along with her sister for many years and every time they have a spat, she blows my phone up. Example, I would be at work and she would text me to call her on break, then I would listen to her venting. I tell her I'm at work and I get off at 0700. 0645 she is calling me and then at 0730 if I don't pick up.

I'm sleeping and she would call me to wake me up and vent. I get irritated and ignore her for a few days. When I finally reach out to say hi, back to the same cycle..crazy
 
I just ended a friendship like this. I started 2 threads on it. My mom's a therapist and when people find out they naturally start coming to me for advice.:nono: If your friend won't listen to you but keeps coming to you for advice she's not really looking for advice but for affirmation and to avoid responsibility. Since she wont listen all you can do is set limits so you don't get caught up in her mess.

That's what I did with my former friend but she took it as me judging her and we aren't speaking anymore. It was a relief honestly.:look::yep:
 
Shut someone down for the last time today for this reason. I can't take her voice anymore. Not even to say Jesus is here. I just don't have the energy or interest anymore. She mad but she'll get over it and find another suckered to vent to. I'm done.
 
Had to take a break from a good friend for this. I started being really dismissive of her borderline cold, so had to break her off Some people just live off creating wallowing (and repeat) in stupid situations I can't deal.
 
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