When You Give Up On Men And Just Move On

hav you decided to just give up on men during to too many disappointments

  • No, I will always have a man in my life

    Votes: 15 44.1%

  • Yes, I can make it without him

    Votes: 19 55.9%
  • Total voters
    34
levette

levette

Well-Known Member
have any of you got to the long that you just want to say the heck with men and relationships and just live a meaningful life without a mate. It may be due to crappy relationships, mental abuse physical abuse, cheating etc.
 
I would hate to be alone the rest of my life because I think that most people want companionship. I think that you can live without another person but it feels nice to have your person (at least the right one). If I ever felt this way hopefully it wouldn't last forever and I'm just in my feelings until I recover.
 
Yes I've been there. I got tired of all the work and no payoff and I found that I felt happier without a guy than with one. I don't tend to get lonely and I found a life that I liked living. To get rid of guys, I started telling them that I wouldn't marry until after I was 40 and they would disappear. I took quite a bit of time off from dating and was just living my life and enjoying it.

A few years ago I did meet a great guy without trying and he isn't like the rest of the guys I knew before.

If you feel you need a break take one. You don't always have to have a man and you can always change your mind. You can spend this time nurturing yourself and doing what you love.
 
I have always had men in my life. Either actively or on stand by. I can't imagine my life without them. Because of how I think and feel about men, I can never allow them enough control and power over me to where I let them influence me to swear them all off. They are just human and aren't all that special. If that makes sense.
 
Nah, I like having someone around to help me with manual labor. Having my brothers do it for a while was cool, but there's something about a non related, non platonic handy dude for that kind of stuff...just to name a few reasons why I've never tired of men.
 
I haven't given up entirely- but I haven't been giving it 100% if you know what I mean. I've tried meeting new guys through friends or online dating and it hasn't panned out. I'm kind of tired now, I haven't dated anyone seriously in years and there have been just a few casual dates since that time. I don't want to write them off entirely- I'm not angry at them- it just isn't working so I'm torn about whether I should give up or keep trying.
 
I’m kinda there right now. I want a relationship but I’m so over men and their BS, I don’t have the energy or interest to deal with them right now. So I’m focusing on me and my life and we’ll see if one comes along speaking the Queen’s English. I’ve gotten through my life thus far without a man. They ain’t all that.
 
Can I select both options? :look: I've always had and always will have men in my life, I just don't feel my value is tied to one. I didn't always believe this, but once you start to really observe familial and friend relationships and the normalized misery among many women I know...you see all that glitters ain't gold.

Random: per the first point--I was talking to a male friend and saying that I'm ready to start thinking about a relationship (based on LHCF criteria). He was like, "sgold...you got like 4 relationships right now." I was like, "How, Sway?!" Then he rattled off my boos and baes....and I realized I have a tendency to mentally block out the men in my life because they aren't "the one"; I'll literally say I have no one when I spent all weekend boo'd up with someone hehe. It was then I realized I will always have a man-or men-in my life, I just kind of...marginalized? them in my "single girl" narrative.
 
I haven't given up on men but I've learn to let go of expectations of men and people in general. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't have standards and let people treat you poorly, but trying to control or even simply analyze why another human being (with free will) is acting a certain way will only drive you crazy. It's a waste of time and energy.

I'm kind of on this "no resistance" and no worrying path when it comes to men and it seems to be working. Where I do put my "boy" (doing) energy and focus is back onto myself. I plan ways to make myself happy. The only time things seems to go awry with guys is when I try to manipulate a certain outcome...

Men are great. They are different from us which is ok.
 
I keep my life open to all possibilities, so I'd never give up on men or anything else for that matter. But as the year closes I find myself not as concerned with it, and for the first time in a long while, I'm okay with that. I do wonder sometimes if I'll meet the one, but I stress about it less as I get older. For the past few years I've had the desire to relocate to a region that would pretty much mean the end of a thriving dating life but would bring so much personal fulfillment. I've felt pressured to stay in larger metros because dating prospects are better, but I'm unhappy in the city. It might be time for me to just let go and take the leap.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I haven't given up on men but I've learn to let go of expectations of men and people in general. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't have standards and let people treat you poorly, but trying to control or even simply analyze why another human being (with free will) is acting a certain way will only drive you crazy. It's a waste of time and energy.

I'm kind of on this "no resistance" and no worrying path when it comes to men and it seems to be working. Where I do put my "boy" (doing) energy and focus is back onto myself. I plan ways to make myself happy. The only time things seems to go awry with guys is when I try to manipulate a certain outcome...

Men are great. They are different from us which is ok.
Click to expand...

Ironically, I feel like this is the narrative that is always painted just before a woman meets "The one". Lol I look forward to reading about your future love story sis!!

SurferBabe said:
I keep my life open to all possibilities, so I'd never give up on men or anything else for that matter. But as the year closes I find myself not as concerned with it, and for the first time in a long while, I'm okay with that. I do wonder sometimes if I'll meet the one, but I stress about it less as I get older. For the past few years I've had the desire to relocate to a region that would pretty much mean the end of a thriving dating life but would bring so much personal fulfillment. I've felt pressured to stay in larger metros because dating prospects are better, but I'm unhappy in the city. It might be time for me to just let go and take the leap.
Click to expand...

Maybe this is why the universe hasnt delivered him yet. You are holding yourself back and sacrificing your happiness and personal fulfillment. Take the leap and trust the universe will deliver your man to you wherever you are in the world. Once youre in your new location you will likely be more radiant and confident since you will have achieved one of your life goals which will automatically make you more attractive to men! Also, dispel this notion that your dating prospects are better in the city than your new location. You only need one man and I have faith the universe will and can deliver him to you!!
 
Yup. Especially if it's like a constant stream of f-boys where they just get worse and worse.

I don't really write them off but I stop dating, kill my rotation. Write down my big goals for 3 months and then work hard to manifest them. If I've had good results then I will build a rotation again. If I haven't had good results then something in my universe is off and I need to look deeper.
 
levette said:
Maybe this is more age related. I see older women sometimes 40 and up who make have kids just give up on men due to bad experiences and just focus on their kids or themselves. Sometimes they seem happier
Click to expand...
This was my plan. Focus on me and raising my son. Seems like my life always runs so much smoother when I’m alone.

Almost a year ago now, I met someone. It’s a very practical relationship, which I think will allow me to keep my focus where it needs to be. Neither of us is googly-eyed head over heels, but we’re a “good fit” and our kids all get along. My friends are evenly divided on the practical vs passion question, but I think he’s offering what I need: stability and dependability.
 
That would never happen.

I like men. Even though I cannot stand their members most times. Especially when I am trying to sleep and it is sticking me in my neck, my back my side, or all up on my butt.

But I like their company, smell cuddles, tongues, hands (they are good at fixing stuff around the house and taking out the garbage). I like putting my head on their chests while I sleep. I especially like their wallets. Poor, rich in between. As long as they are generous with their wallets I am appreciative.

I must admit some of them can be hard work. But the trick is to know how to train and and reign them in when they forget themselves.

There are many who are untrainable. Those ones should be sent to the pound to be put down...
 
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