When Women Keep Going Back....

LivingDol1

LivingDol1

Well-Known Member
one of my good friends is on the road to success. she's smart as heck, multiple degrees, cute girl... but she has man problems!

she is hardly ever single. in the time i've known her, the earlier relationships were pretty solid. and i guess now in the late 20s and now 30th year, she's been dating crud.

the last guy she was dating went Crazy McNutzo and ODed on a bunch of drugs at work (yes, at work!). he's been on this downward spiral ever since but she kinda stuck by him. final straw hit when there was a "domestic issue" and she had him arrested and put a restraining order on him.

myself and another friend told her that she must see the light now because he is crap, lives with his mama, has no job, is never sober, and is willing to injure her.

well, crazy girl posted a pic of her and him on her FB page for New Years!

is there any sense that can be talked into someone like that? she's going to be the next Nicole Brown Simpson if she doesn't get her act together.

sometimes things like this make me glad i have to brain power to just remain single if there's nothing better around the corner!
 
As fraustrated as the situation may seem, she has to come to the realisation that the guy is no good. You can lead a horse to water but you can' force it to drink, just pray that she wises up sooner rather than later.
 
People like this I leave to their own devices. Insanity is when someone keeps making the same mistakes but hope for a different outcome. I don't make it a habit of hanging out with insane folks.

She know she is being dumb, and she keeps going back so that little tidbit you put about her being smart as heck is really null and void.
 
LivingDol1 said:
one of my good friends is on the road to success. she's smart as heck, multiple degrees, cute girl... but she has man problems!

she is hardly ever single. in the time i've known her, the earlier relationships were pretty solid. and i guess now in the late 20s and now 30th year, she's been dating crud.

the last guy she was dating went Crazy McNutzo and ODed on a bunch of drugs at work (yes, at work!). he's been on this downward spiral ever since but she kinda stuck by him. final straw hit when there was a "domestic issue" and she had him arrested and put a restraining order on him.

myself and another friend told her that she must see the light now because he is crap, lives with his mama, has no job, is never sober, and is willing to injure her.

well, crazy girl posted a pic of her and him on her FB page for New Years!

is there any sense that can be talked into someone like that? she's going to be the next Nicole Brown Simpson if she doesn't get her act together.

sometimes things like this make me glad i have to brain power to just remain single if there's nothing better around the corner!
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There is nothing you can say to her to make her come to her "senses." She is going to have to do it on her own when she is good and ready. Painful to watch and hear about, I know, but it is what it is.... :ohwell:
 
Nope... Don't stress yourself out trying to talk to her about this relationship. Save your energy to be a true friend to her and help pick her up after the inevitable fall.
 
Ah yes, afraid to make yourself temporarily uncomfortable to experience true comfort and freedom. She prefers the familiar even if it hurts...Yes, I knew that feeling all too well. Thank God I woke up!
 
Angel_Face said:
Ah yes, afraid to make yourself temporarily uncomfortable to experience true comfort and freedom. She prefers the familiar even if it hurts...Yes, I knew that feeling all too well. Thank God I woke up!
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I so love this! It is so profound. I have a friend who fits the same description. This fool treats her like the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. When she was heavy, (she had gastric bypass) he would not admit to anyone in public that he was with her-he referred to her as his sister/cousin.

He would tear her to shreds with words, but now that she lost all the weight he wants to be affectionate…the bastid…however, who is the real fool? Why her of course because he still can come around. Has a key to her apartment and she has no idea where he lives…:nono:
 
Bmack said:
I so love this! It is so profound. I have a friend who fits the same description. This fool treats her like the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. When she was heavy, (she had gastric bypass) he would not admit to anyone in public that he was with her-he referred to her as his sister/cousin.

He would tear her to shreds with words, but now that she lost all the weight he wants to be affectionate…the bastid…however, who is the real fool? Why her of course because he still can come around. Has a key to her apartment and she has no idea where he lives…:nono:
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While my experience wasnt like the others, I didnt want to admit to myself that my actions were showing that I was content with crumbs of a relationship rather than the whole deal...KNOWING I was used to better but believing things would change. Goodbye 2010 and all the crumbs that came with it!
 
Contrary to popular belief, just because she is "hardly ever single" does not mean she has a high self esteem. Your friend sound like she has low self esteem and is acting like a co-dependent. Her boyfriend senses her neediness and is using her.

Normally but not always, co-dependents have a co-dependency relationship with at least one of their parent. Parent was an addict, alcoholic , and/or mental illness.
 
I was your friend this time last year.

My advice: don't be so openly judgmental because it might push her away and she will need you when ish hits the fan.
 
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