When Times Get Tough...What Keeps You Going?

[ChanelNo5]

I was over on BHM, and lawd have mercy....the WEAVES. They have some fake hair over there that makes we wanna slap my (half-Japanese) mama for givin me these kinks.

Ladies when I say we have options, I mean we got OPTIONS. The hair and techniques just keep getting better and better.

So my question is this: When things get tough, and we know they do..what keeps you going? What stops you from slapping a readily available, widely acceptable, common weave in it? Why do you take the high road when you can instantly be MBL?

I know the question has been asked about LONGER hair, but what keeps you motivated to grow YOUR hair when it's so challenging?

My answer:

I simply prefer my real hair. When it's DONE, it's very thick, nice length, healthy looking, and just plain pretty. I like running my fingers through it and fluffing it from my scalp. I like how it has a natural movement, because it is. It gives me confidence, and makes me feel feminine and naturally beautiful.

I also really like the look of my relaxed hair. Even as it gets longer, fuller, and healthier, the texture of it will stll clearly be that African-American hair. And there is just something so special and unique about that. When I see the silky hair of other races I expect it to easily be long. No double take there.

One more: There was an episode of America's Next Top Model, and this girl was in tears because she had to have her weave taken down and redone and did not want her real hair to be seen because it was so jacked. Reminds me of my sister...

And you would not think this would be a choice I would have to justify to anyone, but there have been times (during long relaxer and bunning stretches) that I've had to.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against weaves. I have worn them before and will again, but I prefer my real hair.

 

[temptressparadise]

good for u....I see nothing wrong with weaves..I can say the same thing about makeup but that's why we all have choices

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Totally agree. Weaves are just that...an option. Its not a "low road", just a hair style. I would rock a weave in a second because I can. If Im BSL and I wanna do my Rihanna cut then I can without chopping off my hair. If times get tough, I do put in a weave and there's no shame in that at all.

good for u....I see nothing wrong with weaves..I can say the same thing about makeup but that's why we all have choices

 

[HoneyDew]

I would get a weave, too.

I prefer my own hair and what prevents me from weaving is that I like touching my scalp and I enjoy doing my own hair.

Wearing a weave or braids just does not feel natural to me. But if I did them enough they would be like 2nd skin and I would not think twice.

But, if I really wanted one, I would. At least it would give me and my hair a break.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Well girl, what keeps me going............ picturing myself with tailbone length hair walking across that stage and getting my college degree......I know it's funny what does hair has to do with graduating from college, but I have always had this dream of getting my degree and my hair flowing along as I walk to get my degree and everyone is saying "dang she got some long, pretty hair" it's like I'm a celebrity for one second......that is what motivates me to grow my hair to my tailbone, i'm short so it's not that much hair....but it's a dream I would like to achieve in a couple of years.......I have never worn weaves(except of micros and cornrows), but just dreaming of having tailbone length keeps me going and when I always dream about it and it keeps bothering, it's something I have to have or complete.....if not then I feel like I have failed in accomplishing my dreams.....

 

[ChanelNo5]

good for u....I see nothing wrong with weaves..I can say the same thing about makeup but that's why we all have choices

I know there's nothing wrong with them.

It's just that I know women who literally live their lives in them. It is them. And would die without them.

And I understand them because weave can be addictive and can make you forget you even have hair.

I'm just asking, as a black woman what keeps you out of them when that option is so readily available and acceptable?

 

[HoneyA]

I don't get the urge to put weaves in anymore. I just really love my own hair and knowing that I can grow my own hair to as long as I want I guess is what keeps me going.

 

[Junebug D]

I'm just asking, as a black woman what keeps you out of them when that option is so readily available and acceptable?

Price (oh my goodness, I remember that thread about the prices), time in the salon, fear of damage to my own hair, fear of feeling fake and inadequate and desperate... Yeah, weaves are not my friend.

Besides, everyone has them these days. It's more awesome to have awe-inspiring hair that's REAL. Not to mention the feeling of accomplishment that you've achieved something so many others have struggled with, and something you've put so much effort into. It's the difference between buying a fake degree online vs. actually attending classes. The first option may be quick, easy, and may fool a few people into hiring you, but you're better off in the long run with the second option.

 

[The Princess]

OMG I had this cute curly weave that, I can work out with, go to the club with and still look professional Monday Morning for work. However I knew underneath it all, was my jacked up hair, and like someone mention wearing a weave can get addictive. When I got my weave taken out to get it redone, I will cry when I saw my real hair and decided that hey, I can't wear this weave forever, so I just cut all the damage ends off, and started over. It felt good when someone told me, Hey you hair look nice, and knowing it was my own. Now that felt good. But I sure do miss my curly weave, but I don't think to long on it, just look at my progress pics and look forward to having my own curly hair.

 

[Solitude]

Well girl, what keeps me going............ picturing myself with tailbone length hair walking across that stage and getting my college degree......I know it's funny what does hair has to do with graduating from college, but I have always had this dream of getting my degree and my hair flowing along as I walk to get my degree and everyone is saying "dang she got some long, pretty hair" it's like I'm a celebrity for one second......that is what motivates me to grow my hair to my tailbone, i'm short so it's not that much hair....but it's a dream I would like to achieve in a couple of years.......I have never worn weaves(except of micros and cornrows), but just dreaming of having tailbone length keeps me going and when I always dream about it and it keeps bothering, it's something I have to have or complete.....if not then I feel like I have failed in accomplishing my dreams.....

Girl, yes!! I visualize myself with waist-length hair under my big floppy hat when I get my JD,

not to mention at my wedding.....one day........someday lol

I can't wait until I run into my ex with my APL hair. I know I will see him when I go home this summer. I'll be slim, healthy with long-hair-don't-care blowing in the wind.

But seriously, this is something that I have wanted since I was a little girl. Weaves are fun & they can be so sexy, but to achieve length with my own hair would be a dream come true .

 

[Junebug D]

I can't wait until I run into my ex with my APL hair. I know I will see him when I go home this summer. I'll be slim, healthy with long-hair-don't-care blowing in the wind.

That can be a major motivating factor too!

 

[locabouthair]

I get discouraged at times but for me weave isn't an option. I just dont like them for myself. I'm gonna always want my hair to look decent, so I can't give up on it you know?

My hair's very damaged right now. And Im not gonna give up because I know at the very least, I deserve healthy hair. I've been going to salons all my life and past stylists have damaged my hair. I want to prove to myself that I can grow it back healthy on my own.

 

[Lovelylocs]

Yeah.... weaves may not be the "low road" and real hair the "high road"...

But, let's be honest. All things being equal, meaning two identical hair styles (equal fullness, shine, etc.), on two separate people, the real hair wins!

I like being able to feel my scalp, etc. However, also, I like the feeling that it is MINE. When people are complimenting my hair, they are complimenting me, not the artistic work of my stylist.

O yeah, men prefer real hair over weaves, not that it matters tho...

 

[Hersheygurl]

Yeah.... weaves may not be the "low road" and real hair the "high road"...

But, let's be honest. All things being equal, meaning two identical hair styles (equal fullness, shine, etc.), on two separate people, the real hair wins!

I like being able to feel my scalp, etc. However, also, I like the feeling that it is MINE. When people are complimenting my hair, they are complimenting me, not the artistic work of my stylist.

O yeah, men prefer real hair over weaves, not that it matters tho...

I can definitely attest to the fact that most men prefer real hair. My husband hated my weave! I will admit the " instant straight or whatever" texture or desired length you can acheive so quickly can be addictive. A lot of women are unaware that they can grow their own hair if they want to. Mine was worn out of sheer laziness and I was pregnant and didn't want to relax.

I prefer my own hair and would never want to wear a weave again. I have nothing against weaves either, but nothing beats the security of walking outside on a windy day, and knowing nothing is showing, or people being able to closely inspect your head ( like my co-workers have blatantly done) to look for any type of tracks. The price of some types of hair is ridiculous, and for those who will not be seen without their weave, I can only imagine how costly it can be to keep it up. I am too frugal to be a slave to any hair company.

The funny thing is I get more people asking if my hair is real now than I ever did when I had the weave in ??? What keeps me going is proving people wrong who assume I couldn't possibly have mid-back length hair.

 

[FluffyRed]

I don't know. If I could have the style I wanted, in the color I wanted, without damaging my own hair I might do it. But there's always some neglect of the underlying hair, or abuse of the hairline involved with wearing weaves. Also, I feel very self-conscious about wearing something artificial.

I'm just on the real (processed ) path right now.

ETA - However, once I reach APL next summer, I will want some color and I might sew in a tiny track to achieve that.

 

[LaReyna756]

I enjoy doing my own hair. I've never worn a weave. And I'm afraid to start, because it would be an expensive habit and I'd be afraid that I would start neglecting my own hair.

 

[HoneyA]

O yeah, men prefer real hair over weaves, not that it matters tho...

This is so true.

The funny thing is I get more people asking if my hair is real now than I ever did when I had the weave in ???

I just do not understand this one. It happens to me a lot more now than it did when I was wearing a weave. Go figure. I know my hair bounces when I walk. My weaves didn't do that for sure

 

[RavenMaven]

I used to look down on weaves when I was younger, but now that I am into protecting my hair and growing it out, and manipulating it less, I skipped over the whole weave thing and went to the next level--wigs! Wigs keep me going when the times get tough because I know that no matter how bad my hair looks when I get up in the morning, no matter how much damage could happen to my hair, I can always throw a wig on and look like a superstar when I walk out the front door.

 

[NYAmicas]

The closest I've come to weaves is through extensions but my goal of having WL hair keeps me going. I cant wait to have my hair draped over me, it's something I haven't experienced and I'd love to prove the nay-sayers wrong.

 

[TaraDyan]

This is a good question. For me it's not an issue because I've never had a weave or extensions before ... ever. I don't know anything else but to grow my own hair.

 

[Evolving78]

i think what OP was getting at that sometimes women just give up on taking care of their hair and just put weave in it. it got over doing that a several years ago. i decided that i was going to do what it took to get my hair healthy, that weaves, extentions, etc... were not an options. i thought about doing the wig thing, but i quickly changed my mind. i just want to be happy with what i have and get that mentality out of my head that i need to rely on weaves to grow my hair healthy and long. now i don't mind wear something just for fun or a change.