When Did This Become A Thing? Would You Consider This Cheating?

[nlamr2013]

Be clear I'm not blaming you for theses dudes actions this would give me pause though that it happened twice recently. I would look at myself and see what I could have done differently to prevent this because they clearly did not feel this was dangerous for them to do

 

[PeaceFlow]

I think when it comes to opposite sex friendships situations with good chemistry can be misread. By the man or the woman depending on what day it is lol. When I was younger I would get into these situations occasionally while in a relationship. Sometimes I didn't even find the single "friend" attractive at first, but with regularity of contact and getting on really, really well I started to feel differently. I don't even play with that foolishness anymore.

I would not be OK with fh coming home talking about he met some woman at work who is mad cool and they have great chemistry.

****
That
****
lol

 

[CoilyFields]

Be clear I'm not blaming you for theses dudes actions this would give me pause though that it happened twice recently. I would look at myself and see what I could have done differently to prevent this because they clearly did not feel this was dangerous for them to do

I completely understand. Because it wasn't so much that I was surprised either of them "liked" me (I can tell when a guy is attracted to me) it was that they felt comfortable telling me.

The married one? Being attracted to him took me out of my realm of experience so its possible I coulda slipped up somewhere...

The other guy though, zero attraction w/ him. And his "confession" was during the first interaction that we'd had in months (he got a gf during one of those months). So it was outta the blue when he messaged me like that.

 

[CoilyFields]

I think when it comes to opposite sex friendships situations with good chemistry can be misread. By the man or the woman depending on what day it is lol. When I was younger I would get into these situations occasionally while in a relationship. Sometimes I didn't even find the single "friend" attractive at first, but with regularity of contact and getting on really, really well I started to feel differently. I don't even play with that foolishness anymore.

I would not be OK with fh coming home talking about he met some woman at work who is mad cool and they have great chemistry.

****
That
****
lol

It's funny cause I've always believed firmly that men and women cannot be just friends without someone catching feelings or trying something. So when I'm in a relationship I cut off my guy friends, and when they get in one, I back off-even though they don't ask me to.

The first guy and I only hung out/talked (outside of work-related stuff) during the time when we were both single.
Second guy...I had never hung out with, or even been alone in the same room with him lol

 

[PrissiSippi]

I don't believe straight men and women can truly be friends. I'd be lying if I acted like I didn't know each one of my guy friends would bang me if they had the chance. Well I have ONE that would not. Probably because of me being in a relationship. Other than that all of them would hit if given a chance. I walk around aloof to all of this but *shrugs* as a grown up...I know.

But to answer your question they do this to open the door and yet cover their bases. Most of the time it works. I will say I get more play as a married lady than I ever did single. Other married men be just waiting on a chance to step out or test the waters to see where another tied down girl head at. They get bored. It's man behavior lol.

 

[PrissiSippi]

 

[SpiritJunkie]

All the men said no & I agree. I have a male friend I went to college with that is married and all of a sudden he is now hitting on me. I had to stop communication because I don't play that. I also worked with is wife for several years....have some respect dude.

These trifling *&*& will try anything

 

[Evolving78]

Yup- any woman freshly new out of a relationship...
They think it is easier to get the draws that way because you are vulnerable and rebounding. Minimal effort needed- just be around her and she will eventually give it up. I can see how that works.

very true!

 

[Evolving78]

I don't believe straight men and women can truly be friends. I'd be lying if I acted like I didn't know each one of my guy friends would bang me if they had the chance. Well I have ONE that would not. Probably because of me being in a relationship. Other than that all of them would hit if given a chance. I walk around aloof to all of this but *shrugs* as a grown up...I know.

But to answer your question they do this to open the door and yet cover their bases. Most of the time it works. I will say I get more play as a married lady than I ever did single. Other married men be just waiting on a chance to step out or test the waters to see where another tied down girl head at. They get bored. It's man behavior lol.

I totally agree. Men just get placed in the friend zone..

 

[C@ssandr@]

All the women said yes and the men said no. How naive we are!

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Be clear I'm not blaming you for theses dudes actions this would give me pause though that it happened twice recently. I would look at myself and see what I could have done differently to prevent this because they clearly did not feel this was dangerous for them to do

Wow, this post though....

So I work with a lot of dudes and have been told by many that I am cool/chill and even had guys come on to me even if married...

I commence friendship though, after reflection, reading this post, and seemingly I came off like I was leading them on... Even with awkward commentary, some even sexual, I commence going out after work with said dude... Got to a point were it was just me and him going out... Another one even had the nerve/guts to be like "yo next time lets watch a movie, I will get the drinks and hotel room" ... This was at a happy hour spot, we been drinking and he possibly thought I was done in not to realize what he said... After that I no longer wanted to go out with him if not in a group atmosphere, he claimed it was just a joke...

 

[okange76]

Opposite sex friends are always tricky. At some point he will want to sleep with you out of curiosity. It gets worse when you are seeing someone. His mind will be wondering why you let that guy hit it and not him since he knew you first. Remember men don't always have to have romantic feelings for you to want to sleep with you. 9 times out of 10, if you give them a chance, they will jump on it whether they have someone or not. It's just how they are wired.